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The New Guy (and Other Senior Year Distractions)
by Amy SpaldingFilled with romance, rivalry, and passive-aggressive dog walking, Amy Spalding delivers a hilariously relatable story about how even the best-laid plans sometimes need to be rewritten.What's the only thing that could derail overachiever Jules's perfect senior year? Alex Powell--former member of boy-band sensation Chaos 4 All and newest transfer to Eagle Vista Academy. Alex seems cool enough when he starts spending time with Jules. In fact, he turns out to be quite the romantic (not to mention a killer kisser). And after getting over the initial shock that someone like Alex might actually like like her, Jules accepts that having a boyfriend could be a nice addition to her packed schedule. That is, until Alex commits the ultimate betrayal, which threatens to ruin her high school career, and possibly her entire future. This. Means. War.
The New Humor in the Progressive Era
by Rick DesrochersBy tracing the effects of unprecedented immigration, the advent of the new woman, and the little-known vaudeville careers of performers like the Elinore Sisters, Buster Keaton, and the Marx Brothers, DesRochers examines the relation between comedic vaudeville acts and progressive reformers as they fought over the new definition of "Americanness. "
The New Kid Has Fleas
by Ame DyckmanFrom bestselling author Ame Dyckman and illustrator Eda Kaban, The New Kid Has Fleas is a hilarious picture book about a new kid in school who appears to have been raised by wolves.There's a new kid in class, and they're . . . different.They dress different. Talk different. Eat different.And the word on the playground is: they have fleas.But, one of their classmates wonders, what if we got to know the new kid? Visited their home (wolves' den)? Met their parents (wolves)? Shared a snack (squirrels)?Maybe then the new kid wouldn't be so bad after all.School’s in session for a howlingly fun “lesson” in preconceptions, differences, rumors, karma, and not just being the new kid, but befriending them.
The New Kid at School #1
by Kate Mcmullan Bill Basso Stephen GilpinWhen a traveling minstrel foretells that he is to become a hero, Wiglaf sets out to fulfill his destiny: he signs up at the Dragon Slayers' Academy. But how can he ever hope to be a dragon slayer when he can't even stand the sight of blood?
The New Kid at School #1
by Kate McmullanThe Dragon Slayers' Academy is back-and it's bigger and better than ever! The books have new covers and are now 112 pages long. Expanded from the old 96-page format, they now feature a fun Dragon Slayers' Academy Yearbook at the end of each story, with funny profiles of the faculty, the staff, and, especially, the students of D. S. A. All the things kids want to know about their favorite characters are revealed: their silly nicknames, inner secrets, wildest dreams, and lofty plans for the future! When a traveling minstrel foretells that he is to become a hero, Wiglaf sets out to fulfill his destiny: he signs up at the Dragon Slayers' Academy. But how can he ever hope to be a dragon slayer when he can't even stand the sight of blood? Illustrated by Bill Basso.
The New Kid from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures)
by Mike ThalerIt's another scary day at the Black Lagoon. . . .The class is expecting a new kid who comes from far away and Hubie is worried. What if the new kid is from Mars? What if he has purple eyebrows, green antennae, and blue skin? What if he's really coming to take over the world? Or worse, what if he's a body snatcher!Wherever the new kid is from, whatever the new kid is, one thing is certain, he'll fit in fine at the Black Lagoon.
The New Kid: The Carver Chronicles, Book Five (The Carver Chronicles #5)
by Karen English Laura FreemanThird-grader Gavin and his friends aren’t sure what to make of the new boy in their class, Khufu. He sure doesn’t look or act like the other kids . . . and they suspect that he stole Gavin's bike! Meanwhile, Gavin’s Great-Aunt Myrtle is coming to stay with his family again, and Gavin is sure she’ll be teaming up with his big sister to boss him around the whole time. Offering spot-on storytelling, relatable characters and situations, and plenty of action, this gently humorous story about a diverse group of elementary-schoolers shows that even someone who seems strange can turn out to be a good friend, if you give them a chance.
The New Me
by Halle Butler'Terrific. So funny' Zadie Smith 'Monstrously depressing but so comic and well observed that I didn't really mind .... It is great' Dolly Alderton'A dark comedy of female rage' Catherine Lacey'Brilliant. For fans of Ottessa Moshfegh's My Year of Rest and Relaxation' Pandora Sykes'Funny, shocking, clever, and hugely entertaining' Roddy Doyle'A definitive work of milennial literature' Jia Tolentino'The best thing I've read in years' Emma Jane Unsworth'Vicious ... hilariously spot on' Guardian In a windowless office, a woman explains something from her real, nonwork life - about the frustration and indignity of returning her online shopping - to her colleagues. One wears a topknot. Another checks her pedometer. Watching them all is Millie. Thirty-years-old and an eternal temp, she says almost nothing, almost all of the time.But then the possibility of a permanent job arises. Will it bring the new life Millie is envisioning - one involving a gym membership, a book club, and a lot less beer and TV - finally within reach? Or will it reveal just how hollow that vision has become?'Made me laugh and cry enough times to feel completely reborn' The Paris Review'A definite work of millennial literature. Wretchedly riveting, with the sick, obsessive pleasure of looking under a bandage at a wound' The New Yorker'So darkly funny and acutely observed that it feels like a documentary' Andrew McMillan'Anyone who has ever felt like their life is going nowhere - and to make it worse, going nowhere in an achingly slow manner - will recognize themselves' Nylon
The New Me: A Novel
by Halle Butler"A dark comedy of female rage" (Catherine Lacey) and a biting satire of life in the American workforce from a National Book Foundation "5 Under 35" honoree and Granta Best Young American Novelist <P><P>NAMED ONE OF THE MOST ANTICIPATED BOOKS OF 2019 BY VULTURE, THE HUFFINGTON POST, BUSTLE, LITHUB, AND THE MILLIONS <P><P>I'm still trying to make the dream possible: still might finish my cleaning project, still might sign up for that yoga class, still might, still might. I step into the shower and almost faint, an image of taking the day by the throat and bashing its head against the wall floating in my mind. <P><P>Thirty-year-old Millie just can't pull it together. She spends her days working a thankless temp job and her nights alone in her apartment, fixating on all the ways she might change her situation--her job, her attitude, her appearance, her life. Then she watches TV until she falls asleep, and the cycle begins again. <P><P>When the possibility of a full-time job offer arises, it seems to bring the better life she's envisioning within reach. But with it also comes the paralyzing realization, lurking just beneath the surface, of how hollow that vision has become.
The New Neighbors
by Sarah McIntyreNew neighbors have moved into the ground floor of a bustling apartment building. The bunnies upstairs are excited, but what will the other residents think? Sarah McIntyre's funny, light-hearted tale reveals there's no room for prejudice.The bunnies upstairs are thrilled to find out that rats have moved into the first-floor apartment. But when other neighbors discover the news, excitement soon turns to jitters, panic, and worse! As the residents descend the stairs to investigate, the rats prepare a yummy dessert. Will all of the animals make the rats leave, or can fear be conquered with delicious, homemade cake?
The New New Rules
by Bill MaherFrom bestselling author and host of HBO's Real Time, Bill Maher's new book of political riffs serves up a savagely funny set of rules for preserving sanity in an insane world A follow-up to the New York Times bestselling The New Rules, The New New Rules delivers a series of hilarious, intelligent rants on everything from same-sex marriage to healthcare, from Republican agendas to celebrity meltdowns, with all the razor-sharp insight that has made Bill Maher one of the most influential comedic voices shaping the political debate today. With another presidential campaign on the horizon and a stellar set of real- life characters to have fun with-"New Rule: If Charlie Sheen's home life means he can't have a TV show, then I say Newt Gingrich can't be president"-this enlightening and important book may be the best thing you pretend to read all year. .
The New One: Painfully True Stories from a Reluctant Dad
by Mike BirbigliaWith laugh-out-loud funny parenting observations, the New York Times bestselling author and award-winning comedian delivers a book that is perfect for anyone who has ever raised a child, been a child, or refuses to stop acting like one.In 2016 comedian Mike Birbiglia and poet Jennifer Hope Stein took their fourteen-month-old daughter Oona to the Nantucket Film Festival. When the festival director picked them up at the airport she asked Mike if he would perform at the storytelling night. She said, "The theme of the stories is jealousy."Jen quipped, "You're jealous of Oona. You should talk about that." And so Mike began sharing some of his darkest and funniest thoughts about the decision to have a child. Jen and Mike revealed to each other their sides of what had gone down during Jen's pregnancy and that first year with their child. Over the next couple years, these stories evolved into a Broadway show, and the more Mike performed it the more he heard how it resonated -- not just with parents but also people who resist all kinds of change. So he pored over his journals, dug deeper, and created this book: The New One: Painfully True Stories From a Reluctant Dad. Along with hilarious and poignant stories he has never shared before, these pages are sprinkled with poetry Jen wrote as she navigated the same rocky shores of new parenthood.So here it is. This book is an experiment -- sort of like a family.
The New Puppy (Step into Reading)
by Kristen Bell Benjamin Hart#1 New York Times bestselling authors Kristen Bell (Frozen) and Benjamin Hart are bringing their beloved characters from The World Needs More Purple People to Step into Reading! Get ready to adopt a dog in this Step 2 leveled reader!Penny's friend Mateo is adopting a dog! Mateo is determined to be a good dog owner. Luckily, he can use his purple skills! He asks questions about the puppy&’s food, works hard to take care of the puppy, and uses his voice to make sure the puppy feels safe. Best of all, Mateo, Penny, and the new puppy get to be themselves and have fun together! Kristen Bell and Benjamin Hart are bringing their inclusive purple world to Step into Reading with a joyous message of embracing the things that bring us together as humans, while celebrating what makes you uniquely YOU! Step 2 readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories. They are perfect for children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help.
The New Rules for Blondes: Highlights from a Fair-Haired Life
by Selena CoppockWriter, comedienne, and full-time Blonde, Selena Coppock offers up adventures, misadventures, and golden-hued nuggets of wisdom in a laugh-out-loud anthem for those of us who really do have more fun. . . .The modern blonde is savvy, wise, confident, capable, and not afraid to laugh at herself when the occasion calls for it. She knows who she is and is prepared to subvert all stereotypes (although she's not above wielding her golden tresses to her advantage), and knows how to be both classy and a little brassy.In the way only a Boston-bred New Yorker who once won "Best Hair" in her high school graduating class could, Coppock doles out tongue-in-cheek advice about avoiding hair disasters, the consequences of dating a man who cares a little too much about his own hair product, and so much more in an outrageous essay collection that will have even the staunchest of raven-haired beauties considering a trip to the nearest salon.
The New Vampire's Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night
by Joe Garden Chris Pauls Anita Serwacki Scott Sherman Janet GinsburgFrom the authors of "The Dangerous Book for Dogs" and "The Devious Book for Cats" comes this hilarious illustrated guide to the issues facing the newly turned vampire. 100 bw illustrations.
The New Woman
by Jon HasslerSince 1977, Jon Hassler's Staggerford series has entranced readers with its funny and charming depiction of life in small-town America. The New Woman is his latest visit to this Minnesota hamlet. At the age of eighty-eight, Agatha McGee has grudgingly moved out of her house on River Street and into the Sunset Senior Apartments. She's not happy about giving up her independence, and Sunset Senior's arts and crafts activities and weekly excursions to the Blue Sky Casino are hardly a consolation. Meanwhile two of her close friends pass away, her nephew Frederick is drifting into depression, and a kidnapped little girl has suddenly appeared on her doorstep. With characteristic poise and dignity, Agatha takes on her problems and finds that the bonds of friendship and family are still the key to happiness at any age. Affectionate and life-affirming, The New Woman is another delightful trip to a town with a soul as real as rural America itself. BACKCOVER: "Fans of Jan Karon's Mitford series will enjoy Hassler's books. If your heart needs lifting, read The New Woman. "-Detroit Free Press "John Hassler's Staggerfrod, Minnesota, is somewhere north of Garrison Keillor's Lake Wobegon, and isn't far from Sinclair Lewis's Gopher Prairie. . . his novels have a quiet legion of devoted readers. "-Chicago Tribune
The New Year's Eve Sleepover from the Black Lagoon (Black Lagoon Adventures #14)
by Mike ThalerThese fun-filled chapter books mix school, monsters, and common kid problems with hilarious results. You'll scream with laughter!Eric is having a New Year's Eve sleepover, but Hubie has never spent the night away from home. He's going to be in a strange bed, in a strange room, in a strange house. What if Hubie gets sick or has a bad dream? What happens if Eric starts telling his cheesy jokes? And what's all this talk about making a New Year's Revolution?!?
The New York City Bartender’s Joke Book
by Jimmy PritchardJimmy Pritchard has been collecting jokes from diverse individuals during his career tending bars in New York. This collection includes more than 400 jokes that are sure to have anybody laughing.
The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance
by Elna BakerWriter, actress, and gorgeous stand up comedian: Introducing the Mormon Tina Fey It's lonely being a Mormon in New York City. So once again, Elna Baker attends the New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance-a virgin in a room full of virgins doing the Macarena. Her Queen Bee costume, which involves a black funnel stuck to her butt for a stinger, isn't attracting the attention she'd anticipated. So once again, Elna is alone at the punch bowl, stocking up on generic Oreos, exactly where you'd expect to find a single Mormon who's also a Big Girl. But loneliness is nothing compared to what happens when she loses eighty pounds. . . . and falls in love with an atheist. The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Danceis the memoir of a girl who distresses her family when she chooses NYU over BYU. A girl who's cultivating an oxymoronic identity as a bold, educated, modern, funny, proper, abstinent, religious stand-up comic, equal parts wholesome and hot. As Elna test-drives her identity, she finds herself in the strangest scenarios including selling creepy, overpriced dolls to petulant children at FAO Schwarz and dressing a head wound with a maxi pad while on a date.
The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance: A Memoir
by Elna Baker"A wickedly funny debut. Baker is both self-absorbed and generous, whip-smart and naïve; she apologizes for none of it." -People It's lonely being a Mormon in New York City. Every year, Elna Baker attends the New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance. This year, her Queen Bee costume (which involves a funnel stinger stuck to her butt) isn't attracting the attention she'd anticipated. So once again, Elna finds herself alone, standing at the punch bowl, stocking up on Oreos, a virgin in a room full of thirty-year-old virgins doing the Funky Chicken. But loneliness is nothing compared to what Elna feels when she loses eighty pounds, finds herself suddenly beautiful...and in love with an atheist. Brazenly honest, The New York Regional Mormon Singles Halloween Dance is Elna Baker's hilarious and heartfelt chronicle of her attempt to find love in a city full of strangers and see if she can steer clear of temptation and just get by on God.Watch a Video
The New Yorker Book of Baseball Cartoons
by Robert Mankoff Michael CrawfordA loving look at the old ball game, from the cartoonists at The New YorkerAmerica's national pastime engages fans and fanatics across the country and around the world. Across the magazine's eight decades, the artists at The New Yorker have captured the emotional essence of the game, and The New Yorker Book of Baseball Cartoons, Second Edition brings an all-star lineup of cartooning greats together in one delightful collection.Collects over 100 drawings that present a playful view of the all-American sportIncludes an introduction by Michael CrawfordFeatures classic cartoons by New Yorker legends from Charles Addams to Jack ZieglerSelected by Robert Mankoff, acclaimed cartoonist and cartoon editor of The New Yorker, The New Yorker Book of Baseball Cartoons is a home run for baseball fans of all ages.
The New Yorker Book of Golf Cartoons
by Robert Mankoff Danny ShanahanA wry look at the golfing world, from the beloved cartoonists at The New YorkerA hilarious hole-in-one for golfers and cartoon-lovers alike, The New Yorker Book of Golf Cartoons, Second Edition brings together over a hundred classic images from across the magazine's eighty-plus-year history. Edited by Robert Mankoff, acclaimed cartoonist and cartoon editor at The New Yorker, and featuring work from legendary artists including Charles Addams, Roz Chast, Whitney Darrow Jr., Edward Koren, George Price, William Steig, and many others, the book is a side-splitting tribute to the game.Brings together over 100 golf-related cartoons by the best-loved cartoonists at The New YorkerEdited by the cartoonist and New Yorker cartoon editor Robert MankoffNewly revised and updated to include coverage of the most recent developments in the golfing world, including Tiger Woods's troubles and moreFeatures an introduction by Danny ShanahanA timeless anthology of the very best golf cartoons ever to grace the pages of America's favorite magazine, The New Yorker Book of Golf Cartoons captures the passion and the pain of the game.
The New Yorker Book of Money Cartoons
by Robert Mankoff David SipressA charming, irreverent treasury from the cartoonists at The New YorkerMoney doesn't just make the world go round--it spins it upside down, inside out, and out of orbit. Now, thanks to the world's most brilliant cartoonists, it also makes us giggle, chuckle, chortle, and laugh out loud. In The New Yorker Book of Money Cartoons, Second Edition, the cartoonist and cartoon editor of The New Yorker Robert Mankoff brings together over a hundred classic images that show the influence, power, and occasional insanity of money.Features over 100 cartoons--new and old--from the pens of cartooning legends including Charles Addams, George Booth, Victoria Roberts, Roz Chast, Leo Cullum, Jack Ziegler, Gahan Wilson, and many othersIncludes a hilarious introduction by David SipressNewly revised to include cartoons that touch on today's most pressing money mattersCapturing the myriad ways money informs, confuses, and sometimes takes control of our lives, The New Yorker Book of Money Cartoons is sure to tickle your money bone.
The New Yorker Book of Teacher Cartoons
by Robert Mankoff Lee LorenzThe riotous world of the classroom, captured by the cartoonists at The New YorkerThe New Yorker Book of Teacher Cartoons, Second Edition is a hilarious compilation of cartoons that capture the joy, terror, excitement, anxiety, fun, and bedlam that teachers experience every day, as seen through the eyes of The New Yorker's best-loved cartoonists.A wonderful collection from some of the best and brightest artists in the world, The New Yorker Book of Teacher Cartoons takes a wry look into the classroom--at the students, at their devoted and demanding parents, and, especially, at the teachers in the thick of things.Includes more than 100 hilarious cartoonsUpdated edition reflects recent changes in the world of educationFeatures an introduction by Lee LorenzCompiled by Robert Mankoff, cartoon editor of The New Yorker and creator of more than eight hundred cartoons published in the magazine, The New Yorker Book of Teacher Cartoons is a perfect gift for teachers, and an encyclopedia of laughs for us all.