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There Are No Ants in This Book
by Rosemary MoscoThis hilarious meta picture book from the author of Butterflies Are Pretty . . . Gross! shows us that ants aren't so bad. In fact, they're pretty amazing, and with their humongous families, they might turn your picnic into a party!Nothing can ruin a picnic faster than a bunch of ants. It's a good thing there are no ants in this book . . . well, maybe there's only one. Or two. . . . Or ten??Maybe it's not so bad. Ants are kind of cool, after all — especially the ones with amazing butts, like the Acrobat Ant that waves its back end around to scare off enemies. Or the Slender Leaf Ant that can glide through the air. Or the Dinosaur Ant, which is the biggest ant in the world! Okay, so a picnic with ants is actually lots of fun!But what if an anteater also wants to join the picnic?
There Are No Bears in This Bakery
by Julia Sarcone-RoachThe creator of the New York Times bestselling The Bear Ate Your Sandwich brings us another sly story of a hungry bear and a smooth-talking narrator.A tough gumshoe of a cat--the name's Muffin--protects his territory: The Little Bear Bakery. But there are no bears here. Not on Muffin's watch.One night, Muffin hears a suspicious noise. Mouse? Raccoon? Bat? Nope, not the usual suspects. But Muffin hears . . . growling. Could it be? Yup. A bear. Just a cub. Whose stomach is definitely growling. Muffin's got this case solved--clearly this bear needs some donuts.In this wonderfully noir-tinged tale, Julia Sarcone-Roach gives us another funny story of a hungry bear in the wrong place at the right time. This tale is sly and sweet, with sprinkles on top."This delightful caper calls out for multiple readings."—New York Times
There Are No Electrons: Electronics for Earthlings
by Kenn AmdahlThis book explains electricity in ways that the least scientific-minded of people will understand.
There Are No Grown-ups: A Midlife Coming-of-Age Story
by Pamela DruckermanThe best-selling author of BRINGING UP BÉBÉ investigates life in her forties, and wonders whether her mind will ever catch up with her face.When Pamela Druckerman turns 40, waiters start calling her "Madame," and she detects a new message in mens' gazes: I would sleep with her, but only if doing so required no effort whatsoever. Yet forty isn't even technically middle-aged anymore. And there are upsides: After a lifetime of being clueless, Druckerman can finally grasp the subtext of conversations, maintain (somewhat) healthy relationships and spot narcissists before they ruin her life. What are the modern forties? What do we know once we reach them? What makes someone a "grown-up" anyway? And why didn't anyone warn us that we'd get cellulite on our arms? Part frank memoir, part hilarious investigation of daily life, There Are No Grown-Ups diagnoses the in-between decade when... • Everyone you meet looks a little bit familiar. • You're matter-of-fact about chin hair. • You can no longer wear anything ironically. • There's at least one sport your doctor forbids you to play. • You become impatient while scrolling down to your year of birth. • Your parents have stopped trying to change you. • You don't want to be with the cool people anymore; you want to be with your people. • You realize that everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently. • You know that it's ok if you don't like jazz. Internationally best-selling author and New York Times contributor Pamela Druckerman leads us on a quest for wisdom, self-knowledge and the right pair of pants. A witty dispatch from the front lines of the forties, THERE ARE NO GROWN-UPS is a (midlife) coming-of-age story--and a book for anyone trying to find their place in the world.
There Are Too Many Milks: And Other Common Annoyances of Modern Life
by Tara Lawall Anne Marie WonderA laugh-out-loud collection of illustrated scenarios that perfectly captures the tribulations of being an adult human in the twenty-first century.Whether pondering the overwhelming plethora of nondairy milk options that drag out your coffee shop experience or grocery trip by a solid half-hour, trying to figure out why you always have a fork that never matches all of your other forks, or wondering why a salad costs $30 (the lettuce costs extra!), this exploration of modern life and its toll on our collective sanity invites readers to revel in the hilarity of these shared experiences. Poking fun at the things we all do to make life more bearable, like crystal healing, picking the perfect email sign-off, eating fancy cheeses, or Botox, this is the perfect sassy gift for birthdays, holidays, graduations, or any other day that needs some comic relief.LAUGH-OUT-LOUD HILARIOUS: Lawall and Wonder's apt commentary is hilariously specific, but also undeniably relatable, making this a unique humor book for people from all walks of life. Whether commiserating over office jargon, app-based dating, or failed online orders, there is something funny for everyone. CAPTIVATING AND NOSTALGIC: The boldly illustrated characters play into a funky Y2K style, reminiscent of popular cartoons like Doug, sure to delight anybody who grew up during this era or enjoys its nostalgic vibe! GREAT GIFT FOR SO. MANY. PEOPLE.: Anyone and everyone on the adulting struggle bus will appreciate this comic gem. Cleverly packaged and filled with impossible-to-ignore artwork, this is the perfect present for graduations, birthdays, holidays, and "just because" gifting.Perfect for:Millennials, Gen Z men and women, and wise-beyond-their-years screenagersAn analog gift to delight your favorite meme buddyFans of Bo Burnham, Hannah Gadsby, Amy Schumer, and TikTok comedy starsCollege grads, those entering the work force, self-deprecating types, people who follow Oatly's stock fluctuations, and anyone with an online dating profile
There Goes the Bride
by Holly McqueenHappily ever after isn't always what you expect... Polly Atkins, a Londoner living in New York City, is headed back across the pond for her wedding, a grand affair that has her older sister, Bella, in a whirlwind of excitement. Bella can't wait to take over the wedding plans--and neither can Polly's best friend, Grace, whose life as a wife, housekeeper, and mother is making her feel older than her twenty-eight years. She's desperate to see Polly settle down in the same city--and the same life. The only one who isn't bursting with enthusiasm is Polly. Which is why, before things can get any more chaotic, she calls the whole thing off and lets go of the most perfect man on the planet. There's no way that Polly is going to tell anyone why she's changed her mind. Some secrets are best kept hidden. But Grace and Bella are determined to get Polly and her fiancé back together if it's the last thing they do. After all, solving someone else's problems has got to be better than dealing with your own. . . .
There Goes the Neighborhood
by Tina ToccoSparky's father is worried about the new neighbors—they look different, they behave strangely, and he's heard bad things about them. He warns Sparky not to go near them, but Sparky can't resist. After all, he's never seen a human up close before.
There Is a God!
by Richard SmithThis funny, tender, and inspiring little book offers 1,001 reminders for the faithful-and for doubters, too. "There is a God!” Who hasn’t uttered these words in response to life’s true miracles? A glorious sunset. Watching your toddler take her first wobbly steps. And that supreme blessing: a hospital gown that closes all the way. In this book, New York Times -bestselling author Richard Smith and Maureen McElheron identify 1,001 miracles that prove that there is in fact a God, including: - Watching your little girl struggle with an ice-cream cone that appears bigger than she is - Fireflies on a June night - Knowing that your ability to explain the difference between hollandaise sauce and béchamel impresses the hell out of your date There Is a God! will remind you of all the many things that make life wonderful. .
There Is a Rio Grande in Heaven: Stories
by Ruben Reyes Jr.Longlisted for the PEN/Faulkner Award • Finalist for The Story Prize • Finalist for the Ferro-Grumley Award for LGBTQ Fiction • Finalist for the California Book Award • Longlisted for the Carnegie Medal for Excellence, the Aspen Words Literary Prize, and the New American Voices Award"Ruben Reyes Jr. is a wonder." — Héctor TobarAn electrifying debut story collection about Central American identity that spans past, present, and future worlds to reveal what happens when your life is no longer your own.An ordinary man wakes one morning to discover he’s a famous reggaetón star. An aging abuela slowly morphs into a marionette puppet. A struggling academic discovers the horrifying cost of becoming a Self-Made Man.In There Is a Rio Grande in Heaven, Ruben Reyes Jr. conjures strange dreamlike worlds to explore what we would do if we woke up one morning and our lives were unrecognizable. Boundaries between the past, present, and future are blurred. Menacing technology and unchecked bureaucracy cut through everyday life with uncanny dread. The characters, from mango farmers to popstars to ex-guerilla fighters to cyborgs, are forced to make uncomfortable choices—choices that not only mean life or death, but might also allow them to be heard in a world set on silencing the voices of Central Americans.Blazing with heart, humor, and inimitable style, There Is a Rio Grande in Heaven subverts everything we think we know about migration and its consequences, capturing what it means to take up a new life—whether willfully or forced—with piercing and brilliant clarity. A gifted new storyteller and trailblazing stylist, Reyes not only transports to other worlds but alerts us to the heartache and injustice of our own.
There Is A Carrot In My Ear: and Other Noodle Tales (I Can Read! #Level 1)
by Alvin Schwartz Karen Ann WeinhausA collection of six stories about a family of silly people, based on noodle folklore from America, Europe, and Asia Minor.
There Must Be More Than That!
by Shinsuke YoshitakeFrom the creator of The Boring Book, a New York Times Best Illustrated Children's BookShinsuke Yoshitake is back with a witty, thought-provoking picture book for our times.There Must Be More Than That! is all about perspective, and wading past the bad to embrace the possibility of good.• A thoughtful and laugh-out-loud exploration into an uncertain ever after• Empowers readers to choose their own future• A powerful antidote to anxiety for kids unsure about current events and what comes nextWhat does the future hold? This question can be daunting—or delightfully promising!Readers of all ages will seek solace in this smart and spirited exploration of the good that might be right around the corner.• Perfect for fans of Shinsuke Yoshitake• Ideal for children ages 5 to 8 years old• A great pick for parents and grandparents, as well as librarians and teachers• You'll love this book if you love books like Sofia Valdez, Future Prez by Andrea Beaty; What Do You Do With an Idea? by Kobi Yamada; and Dream Big, Little One by Vashti Harrison.
There Once Was a Limerick Anthology: Lewis Carroll, Robert Frost, Edward Lear, Mark Twain, Carolyn Wells, Woodrow Wilson and Others (Dover Thrift Editions: Poetry)
by Heidi GagnonHumor buffs and poetry lovers will laugh out loud with this captivating collection of more than 350 limericks. A limerick is a five-line rhyming poem with a bouncy rhythm, and common varieties include geographical and bawdy limericks as well as tongue twisters and creative misspellings. Limerick legends Morris Bishop, Edward Lear, and Carolyn Wells are featured, as are renowned political figures, poets, and writers such as Lewis Carroll, Robert Frost, James Joyce, Mark Twain, and Woodrow Wilson. With selections from the Elizabethan era, classics from the golden age, and contemporary verse, this irresistible, rib-tickling anthology has something for everyone.
There Should Have Been Castles
by Herman Raucher&“Slick, smart, raunchy entertainment&” from the international bestselling author of the classic Summer of &’42 (Kirkus Reviews). Ben is the writer who can&’t seem to make it; Ginnie is the dancer who can&’t seem to miss. In 1951 they are two scared kids in love—determined to hold onto each other no matter what. Together the world is theirs for the asking. In the exhilarating landscape of 1950s showbiz, from the neon glamour of the New York stage to the starry glitter of Hollywood, they have love and success—pure, intense, and perfect. It should go on forever, fueled by enough romance and passion for all the record books and fairytales that ever were. But can their love prevail or will it all come tumbling down due to an unexpected twist neither of them could have foreseen?
There Was a Cold Lady Who Swallowed Some Snow! (Digital Read Along)
by Lucille ColandroHere's the newes twist on the familiar tale of There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly. There was a cold lady who swallowed some snow.I don't know why she swallowed some snow. Perhaps you know. This time, the old lady is swallowing everything from snow to a pipe, some coal, a hat, and more! With rollicking, rhyming text and funny illustrations, this lively version will appeal to young readers with every turn of the page. And this time, there's a surprise at the end no reader will be able to guess!Includes read-along audio track.
There Was a Crooked Man: A Cat DeLuca Mystery (Cat DeLuca Mysteries #5)
by K. J. LarsenChicago private eye Cat DeLuca, founder of the Pants on Fire Detective Agency, catches liars and cheats—and, from time to time, killers.Cat's brief marriage to runaround Johnnie Rizzo was a bust. But it gave her the mad skills she needed for her agency. She doesn't investigate for insurance companies and she won't find your long lost Uncle Harry. But if you're in Chicagoland and you suspect your partner is stepping out, give her a call.Cat comes from a long line, and big family, of Chicago cops, stretching back to the day when her greatgrandfather gave Al Capone protection and a truck to move bootleg whiskey. Most DeLuca men are straight-up guys. Some are flexible, like Ferrari-driving Uncle Joey. But Cat's Poppa stands above the rest, a man of integrity who one day took a bullet when on duty and became a hero. So why, after someone kidnaps Captain Bob's dog and claims to have evidence of cop corruption, do Captain Bob and Poppa not only deny the accusation, but order Cat to leave it alone?Long ago when they were partners, the two cops responded to a hit-and-run that claimed the life of one of Bridgeport's most beloved citizens. Daniel Baumgarten, owner and proprietor of Baumgarten's Jewelry was killed in the street outside his shop. The unsolved death was relegated to a dusty cold case file where it was almost forgotten. Until now.Meanwhile Cat's romance with FBI Agent Chance Savino still gives her goose bumps. Her Mama's latest scheme to marry her off involves a romantic cruise, insane amounts of champagne, and a hijacked priest to tie the knot. But saving Poppa and Captain Bob comes first.There Was a Crooked Man is another funfilled, surprising page-turner. It's a story of greed and betrayal. And the utterly astonishing things we do to save the ones we love.
There Was a Young Man from Nantucket: 1,001 Lewd Limericks Guaranteed to Amuse and Offend
by Ronald StanzaHere now is a steamy collection Of limericks rare. Each selection Will run for five lines, Contain marvelous rhymes- Detailing sex acts of subtle complexion. Some readers may think that it's crude To offer for sale what is lewd But if you're offended By what is appended, We'll say what you are; you're a prude!
There Was an Old Dragon Who Swallowed a Knight
by Ben Mantle Penny Parker KlostermannWe all know that "there was an old lady" who swallowed lots of things. Now meet the old dragon who swallows pretty much an entire kingdom! Will he ever learn a little moderation?! This rollicking rhyme is full to bursting with sight gags, silly characters, and plenty of burps! Parents and kids alike will delight in Ben Mantle's precisely funny illustrations and in Penny Parker Klostermann's wacky rhymes. In days of yore, before a certain fly's ultimately fatal encounter with an Old Lady, there was an old dragon who felt rather peckish. "There was an old dragon who swallowed a knight. / I don't know why he swallowed the knight // It's not polite!" He follows the knight with the knight's steed ("that galloped around at a terrible speed"). Then a squire, a cook, a lady, a castle, and finally a moat are each swallowed in turn. But..."With all of that water, he started to bloat. / And that's when the dragon roared, and I quote: / 'Okay, enough! I've had enough-- / More than enough of this swallowing stuff!' " So realizing that eating all those things might have been "a tad impolite," the old dragon burps them all out in reverse except the knight (which is "ahhh...just right"). Klostermann's debut is a rollicking and warped Medieval take on the well-worn cumulative rhyme. Prolific British animator and illustrator Mantle's expressive and bright cartoon illustrations of the red, horned dragon (and the contents of his stomach) are a perfect match. The antics within the dragon's stomach--every image of the steed is accompanied by a little "clippity, clippity, clippity, clop" in teeny type--and his copious burping will leave 'em laughing. No matter how many swallowed-fly titles you own, this one belongs on your shelf too. KIrkus, May 1,2015From the Hardcover edition.
There Was an Old Dragon Who Swallowed a Knight: Read & Listen Edition
by Penny Parker KlostermannWe all know that &“there was an old lady&” who swallowed lots of things. Now meet the old dragon who swallows pretty much an entire kingdom! Will he ever learn a little moderation?! This rollicking rhyme is full to bursting with sight gags, silly characters, and plenty of burps! Parents and kids alike will delight in Ben Mantle&’s precisely funny illustrations and in Penny Parker Klostermann&’s wacky rhymes.This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.
There Was an Old Lady Who Picked a Pumpkin! (Scholastic Reader, Level 1)
by Lucille ColandroThe Old Lady from There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Bat! is back for a fall adventure -- now in a bestselling Level 1 reader format!The old lady says "Hooray!"We have a trip today!Grab your bag. Say hello!Get on the bus. Off we go!The Old Lady heads to the farm in this Level 1 story featuring simple sentences, words to sound out, and rhymes just right for the beginning reader! Scholastic Readers encourage the joy and fun of reading with topics that kids love -- perfect for children beginning to read on their own!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Bell! (Digital Read Along)
by Lucille ColandroA wacky new Christmas version of the classic "There Was an Old Lady" song, now with read-along audio track!This time, the hungry old lady swallows a bell, bows, gifts, a sack, a sleigh, and some reindeer! She's about to swallow a candy cane for dessert when she hears "Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa Claus is waiting for a ride! Watch what happes when she whistles, with amazing results!With rhyming text and funny illustrations, this lively version of a classic song will appeal to young readers with every turn of the page -- a fun story for Christmastime!This is a wonderful companion to Colandro and Lee's other Old Lady books.!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Clover!
by Lucille ColandroThere was an Old Lady who swallowed things over and over, and now she's come back to swallow a clover! She's back! That lovely old lady has returned just in time for St. Patrick's Day. Now she's swallowing items to make the perfect rainbow to hide a pot of gold.
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Clover
by Lucille ColandroThere was an Old Lady who swallowed things over and over, and now she's come back to swallow a clover! She's back! That lovely old lady has returned just in time for St. Patrick's Day. Now she's swallowing items to make the perfect rainbow to hide a pot of gold.
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Cow!
by Lucille ColandroYou won't believe why the Old Lady swallowed a cow, some hay, a pig, a duck, a horse, a sheep, and a fiddle!There was an old lady who swallowed a cow. I don't know why she swallowed a cow but she did it somehow!The latest addition to Scholastic's bestselling series by Lucille Colandro and Jared Lee is a fully illustrated board book, perfect for the youngest readers.
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Dragon!
by Lucille ColandroThe bestselling Old Lady series is back...with a magical twist!The Old Lady is back and this time she's swallowed a princess, a dragon, and a knight...to create a classic fairytale!With rhyming text and hilarious illustrations, this lively song will appeal to readers both old and new. A perfect year-round read!
There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly! (There Was An Old Lad Ser.)
by Lucille ColandroThe bestselling Old Lady series finally delivers its own version of the original, classic song: THERE WAS AN OLD LADY WHO SWALLOWED A FLY!It's the Old Lady as you've never seen her before! Now she's swallowing animals from the classic story...to create a home full of lovable pets!With rhyming text and hilarious illustrations, this is the original song young readers know and love with a wacky twist. The perfect story to read all year long!