- Table View
- List View
The Ties That Bind (Billionaires and Babies)
by Emilie RoseHe never intended to be a father. Yet an ex's underhanded actions result in a baby even jaded Pierce Hollister cannot deny. He needs a nanny immediately. But Anna Aronson, the perfect woman for the job, has her own infant to care for. Now Mr. Solitary is living in a home filled with babies!The domestic situation completely rocks Pierce's carefully constructed world, and his attempts to keep his distance are soon compromised by the desirable Anna. But when a past complication threatens everything...will the billionaire daddy fight for what's become his?
The Tighty Whitey Spider
by Kenn NesbittIt's Official: Kids want more of Kenn Nesbitt's sidesplitting poetry. They can't get enough of his clever wordplay, wonderful imagery, and zany rhymes. In this brand-new collection, Kenn has totally made up over fifty poems involving Acrobatic Cats, Kung Fu Pets, and Chickens on Computers.
The Tim Vine Bumper Book of Silliness: Daft Jokes, Crazy Pictures, Utter Nonsense
by Tim VineComedian and TV star Tim Vine delivers a jam-packed, laugh-a-minute assortment of hilarious silliness.Welcome to THE TIM VINE BUMPER BOOK OF SILLINESS. Put your 3D glasses on now. And then remove them because they won't make any difference. This is a bit like an annual. Annual love it. It's filled with silly jokes, daft quizzes, zany pictures and other silly stuff too. We live in a very serious world but now and again it's good to forget about that and say things like 'lozenge waffle' or 'giraffe sprocket'. Ideally to a stranger.
The Time Has Come: A Novel
by Will LeitchThe author of the Edgar nominated and ALEX Award-winning How Lucky (“an absorbing thriller with heart”—People), blends suspense, humor, and compassion in a new novel about seven strangers and one very intense evening at a small-town Georgia pharmacy.Lindbergh’s Pharmacy is an Athens, Georgia, institution—the type of beloved mom and pop shop that once dotted every American town but has mostly disappeared. But Lindbergh’s has recently become the object of attention of a local fourth grade teacher Tina Lamm (“Ms. Lamm to my students”). Tina is certain something very, very bad is happening behind its famous black door and she intends to do something about it.Her suspicions—and the drastic actions she plans—are the unlikely glue that will connect her to a group of six employees and customers inside the pharmacy one hot Georgia evening. They include Theo, the Lindbergh’s scion with a secret of his own; Daphne, a nurse and Army veteran struggling with her faith; Jason, a local contractor uncertain how to deal with his gifted teenage son; Karson, a young lawyer and activist wrestling with a job offer that makes him uncomfortable; David, an Athens music scene lifer whose sobriety has been sorely tested by isolation; and Dorothy, a widow just beginning to regain her bearings.The fates of these individuals—and their fateful encounter with Tina Lamm—become intertwined in a story that is by turns funny, touching, and tense. As he did in How Lucky, Will Leitch illuminates how we live today through a story of human beings struggling to do their best.
The Time Machine Did It
by John SwartzwelderHumor/mystery novel by the writer of 59 episodes of The Simpsons.
The Time Trip
by Rob SwigartIn this boisterous time trip of discovery, Rob Swigart trains his inventive wit on love and loss, guilt and redemption, gurus, high technology, multiple orgasms and cryogenics. His fans will revel in his satire and laugh uproariously through his new novel--his most inventive yet.After his bored and ignored wife, Penny Gamesh, ends it all by sticking her head inside a microwave oven and checking into the afterlife, Barney, discovers he loves her and wants her back. He engineers a daring computer crime, plugging into a network of government computers, and travels back in time to Mesopotamia, 2542 BC, to talk to King Gilgamesh, who tried to unlock the secrets of immortality. There, Barney falls in love with Penny's former incarnation, a temple prostitute. While there, he explores his capacity for love and friendship, and challenges the mystery of death. The results surprise everyone.
The Time of Her Life: romantic comedy to make you laugh out loud
by Kate Fenton'Wonderfully funny and chaotic, Annie Stoneycroft is the heroine we all want to be friends with. She is the best fun with a heart of gold' - Katie Fforde'Carpe diem, as all our generation seem to be saying these days,' Annie Stoneycroft instructs her friend Liz, who is sixty going on sixteen and trembling on the brink of a love affair. 'Roughly translated: bloody well stop messing about and get on with it.'Annie naturally embraces the baby boomer's credo that old age, far from being a biological inevitability, is a mere lifestyle choice. If not downright carelessness. That doesn't stop her marshalling her contemporaries into suitable relationships - before it's too late. Perhaps it's even time she did the same for herself. But while smart, sassy Ms Stoneycroft may tempter any romantic fancies with Yorkshire common sense, what she has yet to learn is that love is like the measles. The later it strikes, the harder it hits . . .Sparkling, witty and intelligent, The Time of Her Life is a deliciously perceptive romantic comedy for the modern reader.
The Time of Her Life: romantic comedy to make you laugh out loud
by Kate Fenton'Wonderfully funny and chaotic, Annie Stoneycroft is the heroine we all want to be friends with. She is the best fun with a heart of gold' - Katie Fforde'Carpe diem, as all our generation seem to be saying these days,' Annie Stoneycroft instructs her friend Liz, who is sixty going on sixteen and trembling on the brink of a love affair. 'Roughly translated: bloody well stop messing about and get on with it.'Annie naturally embraces the baby boomer's credo that old age, far from being a biological inevitability, is a mere lifestyle choice. If not downright carelessness. That doesn't stop her marshalling her contemporaries into suitable relationships - before it's too late. Perhaps it's even time she did the same for herself. But while smart, sassy Ms Stoneycroft may temper any romantic fancies with Yorkshire common sense, what she has yet to learn is that love is like the measles. The later it strikes, the harder it hits . . .Sparkling, witty and intelligent, The Time of Her Life is a deliciously perceptive romantic comedy for the modern reader.(P)2020 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
The Time of My Life: The MOST hilarious book you’ll read all year (Karen Pirie #60)
by Rosie Mullender'A brilliantly funny new voice' Jenny ColganImagine the worst day of your life. Now imagine living it on repeat...This Friday the 13th has been particularly unlucky.Jess has been fired from her comfortable job. She's gone from dating two guys to none. She's been kicked out of her mediocre flat. And worst of all, she's really really let down her best friend.As she drifts off to sleep, she is filled with relief that this terrible day is over. Tomorrow she will try to fix things, tomorrow cannot be any worse than this.Except it is. Maybe not worse... but exactly the same. When Jess wakes up the next morning, it is Friday the 13th again. And again. And again. And again.Jess knows how this goes, she's seen the films, this is her wake up call. But she had no idea she needed a wake up call. How is Jess supposed to work out where she's gone wrong when, as far as she's concerned, she's been having the time of her life?Perfect for fans of Mhairi McFarlane, this modern-day Groundhog Day is the ultimate escape for anyone who has ever wanted a do-over._______________'What a wonderful debut! Such fun, and so deftly written, with a fabulous premise and perfect ending.' Jill Mansell'The Time of My Life is a gem - funny, warm, and surprising' Adam Kay
The Time of New Weather: A Novel
by Sean MurphyTHE TIME OF NEW WEATHER IS AT HAND-AND IT'S NOT A PRETTY SIGHT.In this exhilarating adventure of absurdist wit, rollicking revolution and romance, the future isn't what it used to be and the past won't leave us alone. Bringing to mind1984 and Brave New World-but with his own twist of gleeful humor-award-winning author Sean Murphy presents a vision of an America gone off the rails: an America where it literally rains cats and dogs, where a hubcap ranch is now a National Preservation Site, where a horde of circus folk and Elvis fans are on the rampage-and where some rather suspicious things are going on with time and gravity.Into this world is born Buddy Le Blanc, a young boy with a special gift: the ability to perform tiny miracles. Nothing big, like raising the dead or curing the sick-more like an uncanny knack for finding spare change. He longs to find a way to make a difference; but in a world where time and gravity storms can spring up at a moment's notice (sending your belongings hurtling through the roof, or off to the Renaissance) and big business has gobbled up the U. S. government (now renamed The America Corporation), it's hard to get your foot in the door.But when Buddy joins up with a cast of fellow seekers-renegade circus freaks, ragtag revolutionaries, a woman in search of her hat, and a particularly gorgeous journalist-in the hope of waking America up from its dream, the fate of the country may just end up in his not-so-capable hands....
The Time of Our Lives: 'Funny, sexy and moving - a hilarious holiday romp with a heart. I loved it' SOPHIE KINSELLA
by Jane CostelloImogen is going on an expenses-paid holiday with her best friends. What could possibly go wrong? Imogen isn&’t used to five-star hotels. She&’s used to juggling the pressures of her job with raising a four-year-old single-handedly and trying to keep smiling throughout. So, when her friend wins a VIP trip to Barcelona&’s most fashionable new hotel, it&’s her chance to finally relax. But Imogen knows better than most that life doesn&’t always go according to plan and things start to go awry before they&’ve even set foot on the plane. The big question is: what is really motivating the mysterious, handsome man who&’s always in the right place at the wrong time?'Funny, sexy and moving - a hilarious holiday romp with a heart. I loved it' SOPHIE KINSELLA
The Times Machine!: Learn Multiplication and Division. . . Like, Yesterday!
by Danica McKellarLearn at home with help from The Wonder Years/Hallmark actress, math whiz, and New York Times bestselling author Danica McKellar using her acclaimed McKellar Math books! A revolutionary and FUN way for 2nd to 5th graders to memorize multiplication facts outside of the classroom is finally here!Join Mr. Mouse and Ms. Squirrel and experience an entirely new way of memorizing multiplication facts. Using colorful stories, silly rhymes, and more, Danica McKellar helps to break down the rules of multiplication and to translate many of the (often confusing!) multiplication and division methods taught in today's classrooms. This lively "times" travel adventure is a lifesaver for frustrated kids and parents everywhere and a great way to "zero out" worries about homework and tests. If Mr. Mouse can learn to have fun with math, anyone can!
The Tin Angel
by Ron GoulartStart with some medical transplants, add a dash of cybernetic engineering, and a talking dog can be a commonplace. But, Bowser was no commonplace--he was the top rated star of 1999's television--comedian, commentator, actor and temperamental headache of his media masters. But, he was still a dog--man's best friend to the vast gaping audience of watchers, and a cur, mutt and a son of a five letter word to Bert Schenley, his agent and guardian. So, when Bert got two assignments at once, both taking him and Bowser to the battle front in Lower California, where the various guerillas and rebels were making news, history and hysterics, it was the climax. Bowser was determined to keep on grabbing the headlines. Bert was determined to keep a grip on his own life, and the rest were equally set on blotting both out. But don't worry, it is all in good fun (at least the satirical good fun style of Ron Goulart) and has the required Hollywood ending.
The Tinkerbell Hilton Diaries: My Life Tailing Paris Hilton
by Tinkerbell Hilton D. ResinParis Hilton's dog, Tinkerbell, gives the inside scoop about her owner--and gets downright catty--in this outrageous and hilarious parody.
The Tiny Chef: and da mishing weshipee blook
by Adam Reid Rachel Larsen Ozlem AkturkThe Tiny Chef, a small herbivore with an enormous heart, goes on a quest to find his missing recipe book in this irresistible debut picture book from the creators of @TheTinyChefShow.Our debut picture book adventure finds the Tiny Chef at home in his kitchen on a beautiful day, but not all is well inside the Chef's stump. He's misplaced his favorite recipe book--the one he uses to cook all of his best dishes, like his famous stew, which he always makes on the first day of fall, and that day is here! What is the Chef to do! He practically tears apart his house looking for it. He gets so frustrated he throws a tantrum. But then he does what we all have to do sometimes when we're upset. He counts to ten. He goes for a nice long walk. And that's when inspiration strikes! A little rosemary, some mushrooms, and the Chef might have a brand-new recipe after all. And that's when his recipe book finally appears. Right where he left it--now isn't that weird?
The Tiny Chef: and da nighttime bladventure
by Adam Reid Rachel Larsen Ozlem AkturkThe Tiny Chef, a small herbivore with an enormous heart, goes on a quest to find his missing recipe book in this irresistible debut picture book from the creators of @TheTinyChefShow.Our debut picture book adventure finds the Tiny Chef at home in his kitchen on a beautiful day, but not all is well inside the Chef's stump. He's misplaced his favorite recipe book--the one he uses to cook all of his best dishes, like his famous stew, which he always makes on the first day of fall, and that day is here! What is the Chef to do! He practically tears apart his house looking for it. He gets so frustrated he throws a tantrum. But then he does what we all have to do sometimes when we're upset. He counts to ten. He goes for a nice long walk. And that's when inspiration strikes! A little rosemary, some mushrooms, and the Chef might have a brand-new recipe after all. And that's when his recipe book finally appears. Right where he left it--now isn't that weird?
The Tiny Hero of Ferny Creek Library
by Linda Bailey Victoria JamiesonEddie, a passionate reader and a shiny green bug, saves the school library in this funny, heartwarming tale that fans of Flora & Ulysses and Charlotte’s Web will love. Includes black-and-white illustrations throughout from Newbery Honor Medalist and New York Times-bestselling author-artist Victoria Jamieson.Eddie is a tiny green bug who loves to read and who lives behind the chalkboard in the fourth-grade classroom with his parents, his 53 brothers and sisters, and his aunt Min. But when Aunt Min goes to the school library to read a book and never returns, Eddie leaves the comfort of his home for the first time and makes the dangerous trek through Ferny Creek Elementary School to find her. After dodging running sneakers, falling books, and terrifying spiders, Eddie reaches the library, where he discovers Aunt Min stuck in a perilous situation! To top it all off, there’s a substitute librarian who aims to close the library for good and get rid of all the books!Encouraged by the brave deeds done by small creatures such as Stuart Little and Charlotte from Charlotte’s Web, Eddie comes up with a plan to save the library—a plan that requires all the courage one little bug can muster.A great read-aloud and read-alone, this action-packed short novel includes references to classic children’s literature throughout and is perfect for fans of Chris Grabenstein’s Escape from Mr. Lemoncello’s Library and Lynne Rae Perkins’s Nuts to You. Featuring extensive black-and-white art from Newbery Honor Medalist and New York Times-bestselling author-artist Victoria Jamieson.
The Titanic Awards
by Doug LanskyRead Doug Lansky's posts on the Penguin Blog. "In a nutshell, the Titanic Awards are the Darwin Awards for travel- only nobody dies. " -Los Angeles Times Everyone who's ever checked (and lost) their luggage or discovered that their hotel misplaced their reservation knows there are few perfect vacations. The Titanic Awards takes a different approach to these often spectacular travel underachievements: celebrating them. From worst airport layout to most confusing subway system to the most overrated tourist attraction, Lansky looks at these flawed travel destinations with a gimlet eye and a sense of the absurd. .
The Tithonian Factor
by Richard CowperThe Tithonian Factor takes us into the 22nd century and introduces the sempiterns, people who a hundred years or more earlier have taken a drug which confers a kind of immortality, but at an unexpected price.
The To-Do List
by Mike GayleWould a proper adult ignore the spilt milk under the fridge for weeks?Would a proper adult take three years to post a solitary Christmas card?Would a proper adult have decades-old underwear in active service?Mike Gayle is nowhere near being a proper adult - even though his tenth wedding anniversary is looming; his second child is due any moment; and in less than twenty-four hours he is going to be officially closer to forty than he is to thirty. Appalled by this lack of maturity, Mike draws up a To-Do list containing every single item he's been meaning to do but just keeps putting off... He's got a lot of stuff that needs doing. But unlike previous To-Do lists, he promises himself that this one will actually get DONE. And along the way, Mike will learn stuff about life (323), love (999), friends (1004) and family (9) and finally work out what it means to be a grown up (846).
The To-Do List
by Mike GayleWould a proper adult ignore the spilt milk under the fridge for weeks?Would a proper adult take three years to post a solitary Christmas card?Would a proper adult have decades-old underwear in active service?Mike Gayle is nowhere near being a proper adult - even though his tenth wedding anniversary is looming; his second child is due any moment; and in less than twenty-four hours he is going to be officially closer to forty than he is to thirty. Appalled by this lack of maturity, Mike draws up a To-Do list containing every single item he's been meaning to do but just keeps putting off... He's got a lot of stuff that needs doing. But unlike previous To-Do lists, he promises himself that this one will actually get DONE. And along the way, Mike will learn stuff about life (323), love (999), friends (1004) and family (9) and finally work out what it means to be a grown up (846).
The Toad: The Disgusting Critters Series (Disgusting Critters)
by Elise GravelShe's good for the environment... and she's disgusting!Distinctive trait: WartsFood preference: Bugs and wormsSpecial talent: Eating her own skinDisgusting? Yes, but fun, too!The Toad is the next installment of the Disgusting Critter series. Hilarious illustrated non-fiction about toads perfect for beginning readers. Although silly and off-the-wall, The Toad contains factual information that will both amuse and teach at the same time.
The Todd Glass Situation: A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Stand-Up Comedy
by Jonathan Grotenstein Todd GlassA hilarious, poignant memoir from comedian Todd Glass about his decision at age forty-eight to finally live openly as a gay man—and the reactions and support from his comedy pals, from Louis CK to Sarah Silverman.<P> Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn’t have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results.<P> It might have been a lot easier had he chosen a profession other than stand-up comedy. By age eighteen, Todd was opening for big musical acts like George Jones and Patti LaBelle. His career carried him through the Los Angeles comedy heyday in the 1980s, its decline in the 1990s, and its rebirth via the alternative comedy scene and the explosion in podcasting. But the harder he worked at his craft, the more difficult it became to manage his “situation.” There were the years of abstinence and half-hearted attempts to “cure” himself. The fake girlfriends so that he could tell relationship jokes onstage. The staged sexual encounters to burnish his reputation offstage. It took a brush with death to cause him to rethink the way he was living his life; a rash of suicides among gay teens to convince him that it was finally time to come out to the world.<P> Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone—young and old, gay and straight—breathe a little more freely. Peppered with anecdotes from his life among comedy’s greatest headliners and tales of the occasionally insane lengths Todd went through to keep a secret that—let’s face it—he probably didn’t have to keep for as long as he did, The Todd Glass Situation is a front-row seat to the last thirty plus years of comedy history and a deeply personal story about one man’s search for acceptance.
The Toddler Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Troubleshooting Tips, and Advice on System Maintenance (Owner's and Instruction Manual)
by Joe Borgenicht Paul Kepple Jude Buffum Brett KuhnAt Last! A Beginner's Guide to Toddler Technology Just when you've mastered your infant's maintenance routine, he begins to malfunction, refusing fuel, crying inexplicably, and resisting your attempts to clothe him. Your infant has upgraded to a toddler! But how can you master your toddler's changing technology? Through step-by-step instructions and helpful schematic diagrams, The Toddler Owner's Manual explores hundreds of frequently asked questions: How should I react when my toddler throws a tantrum? How do I train my toddler for self-waste disposal? Whatever your concerns, you'll find the answers here--courtesy of pediatric psychologist Dr. Brett R. Kuhn and co-author Joe Borgenicht. Together, they provide plenty of useful advice for anyone who wants to learn the basics of toddler care.
The Toddler Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Whiny Unfed
by Mike Spohr Heather SpohrGet the baby gates, lock the cupboards, and load up Elmo's Song, toddlers are on the loose. The Toddler Survival Guide is here to get you to the other side. Toddlers and zombies both communicate mainly through groans, clumsily trail after you everywhere you go (especially into the bathroom in the toddler's case), and--upon entering your life--leave you frazzled, on edge, and deeply sleep deprived.The Toddler Survival Guide is a hilarious parody of Max Brooks's The Zombie Survival Guide (and survival guides in general) that will leave parents laughing out loud even as it provides practical advice on how they can make it to the other side of toddlerhood intact. Written by parents who have studied toddlers up-close in their natural habitat, the book will cover survival skills including how you can outfit your home to outlast a toddler occupation (baby gate, cabinet locks, wine), how you can subdue an angry toddler ("Elmo's Song," mac and cheese, smartphone) and even how you can safely venture out in public together without your toddler--or you--bursting into tears.Chapters include: Preparing the Home for a Toddler Invasion, Communicating with Your Toddler, Feeding a Toddler, Socializing Your Toddler, Grooming Your Toddler, Venturing into Public with a Toddler, Documenting Your Life with a Toddler, Vacationing with a Toddler, Toddler Entertainment and Birthdays, Surviving Bedtime and Potty Training, Technology and the Toddler, and Parental Self-Preservation.