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Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie of Doom (Cookie Chronicles #1)
by Matthew Swanson"This is my favorite book of the year." —Lincoln Peirce, New York Times bestselling author of Big Nate series Meet Ben, a literal-minded kid with a big heart and an even bigger sweet-tooth, who cracks open a fortune cookie and discovers that TODAY might be his last day on Earth! Perfect for fans of DIARY OF A WIMPY KID or THE TERRIBLE TWO.Live each day as if it were your last.When Ben reads his fortune-cookie fortune, he's alarmed and inspired. Immediately, he begins drafting a bucket list of unfinished tasks and lifelong dreams (finish his 1000-piece model of the Taj Mahal, eat an entire cake, etc....). As Ben marches himself in and out of trouble, takes useful risks, and helps both his parents to see the bigger picture, readers discover how something that seems scary can instead be empowering--leading to friendships that might never have been made, neighbors that might never have been known, and apple pies that might otherwise never have been baked.
Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie of Endless Waiting (Cookie Chronicles #2)
by Matthew Swanson"Great characters, hilarious jokes... a joy to read." —Lincoln Peirce, New York Times bestselling author of Big Nate series Literal-minded Ben cracks open a fortune cookie and it tells him that he can have anything he wants, if only he's willing to wait... A madcap adventure about the perils of patience, for fans of DIARY OF A WIMPY KID or THE TERRIBLE TWO.Good things come to those who wait.Ben does his best to heed his fortune cookie's advice, and as a result he is paired with Walter--the kid who's always picked last--for a school scavenger hunt. Working with Walter must be a good thing if the cookie said so, but so far all he does is talk too loud and recite obscure facts about feet. Meanwhile, Ben has an argument with his best friend Janet, and waiting for her to apologize first isn't going so well.... But eventually, Ben's patience starts paying off: if he and Walter are able to pull out a win in the scavenger hunt, they'll earn a half-day of recess for the whole school! Waiting may not always be a good thing, but taking the time to listen and consider all options isn't half bad.
Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie of Perfection (Cookie Chronicles #3)
by Matthew SwansonPractice makes perfect, and Ben Yokoyama will settle for nothing less than perfection! A hilarious new Cookie Chronicles adventure that fans of Wimpy Kid or Dog Man will gobble up with gusto.When Ben's fortune cookie tells him that practice makes perfect, he refuses to settle for anything less. He demands better parents, superior hobbies, and a brand-new best friend, who might technically be a superhero.The pursuit of perfection is thrilling until Ben is forced to give up the things he loves most--including baseball, personal integrity, and his dog's enthusiastic kisses. Life lessons from a goldfish and a spine-tingling near-death experience help Ben realize that his flaws are also the keys to his greatest strengths--and that the people and things that make him happiest will always be perfectly imperfect.
Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie Thief (Cookie Chronicles #4)
by Matthew SwansonJustice is sweet when a school bully gets a taste of his own medicine. A hilarious new Cookie Chronicles adventure that middle-school readers who love Wimpy Kid and Dog Man will gobble up with gusto."Impossible to resist.&” —Lincoln Peirce, New York Times bestselling author of Big Nate. When Ben's fortune cookie tells him that the best things in life are free, he believes he can get anything he wants without paying for it—as long as it's the best. But Ben&’s dreams of free cookies and fancy scooters are quickly dashed when schoolyard bully Flegg McEggars steals his fortune. Ben will stop at nothing to get his fortune back, but bringing the thief to justice will be no easy feat. He has to lawyer up, gather witnesses, and present his case to the fifth graders in Kid Court. Along the way, Ben learns that crime comes in many forms and the real villains are not always the people we first suspect. From the husband-and-wife, author-and-illustrator duo that brought you Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie of Doom comes a tale of truth, justice, and the pursuit of cookies.
Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie War (Cookie Chronicles #6)
by Matthew SwansonTwo best friends are pushed to the breaking point when a class election gets out of hand! Rivalry and ridiculousness abound in this delicious, zanily-illustrated adventure for readers who love Wimpy Kid and Dog Man.It's the start of a new school year at Honeycutt Elementary and that means one thing: student council elections! Best friends, Ben and Janet are determined not to let mean girl Amy Lou Bonnerman win for the fourth year in a row, but when they both decide to run against her, they become rivals!At first, it's all funny posters, free candy, and pie-in-the-sky ideas for how to make the school a better place. But before long, the campaign turns sour—with mean rumors, dirty tricks, hurt feelings, and even sabotage! Ben and Janet&’s legendary friendship is put to the test. To make things right, they must expose a conspiracy, swallow hard truths, and remember what&’s most important—their friendship.From the husband-and-wife, author-and-illustrator duo that brought you Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie of Doom comes a tale about keeping your friends close—even when they start to look like enemies.
Ben Yokoyama and the Cookies of Chaos (Cookie Chronicles #5)
by Matthew SwansonIt's a cookie catastrophe when Ben receives five conflicting fortunes and doesn't know which advice to follow! Another hilarious Cookie Chronicles adventure that middle grade readers who love Wimpy Kid and Dog Man will gobble up with gusto.When Ben finds a lost wallet, he's determined to do the right thing instead of spending the money on sweets. But what is the right thing? Ben seeks the guidance of one fortune cookie after another—yet none of the fortunes make sense!In his chaotic quest to track down the wallet&’s owner, Ben puzzles his way through five baffling fortunes in rapid succession while feuding with a vengeful librarian, battling a terrifying toilet, and gaining a new appreciation for ducks, cardamom, and his best friend, Janet.From the husband-and-wife, author-and-illustrator duo that brought you Ben Yokoyama and the Cookie of Doom comes a tale about trusting your heart when your head can&’t make sense of things.
The Benchley Roundup: A Selection by Nathaniel Benchley of His Favorites
by Robert Benchley Nathaniel BenchleyForeword ONE time, during the recent war, an Air Force sergeant accosted Robert Benchley in a bar and, with little or no preamble, said, "I might as well tell you that I don't like your work." Benchley replied that he had moments of doubt himself, and the sergeant then explained that he had hitched a ride from Africa to Italy on a cargo plane, and that the only available sleeping space had been on bags that were full of overseas editions of Benchley's books. By the time they passed Sicily, the man said, he was so stiff and sore that he hoped never to hear the name Benchley again. "Try it yourself sometime," he concluded. "That stuff isn't funny when you have to sleep on it." In somewhat the same way, I would suggest that The Benchley Roundup be read piecemeal rather than in one lump-picked up and put down as though you were waiting for a telephone call, or for guests to arrive-because, after all, the pieces had their original appeal as separate entities. In making my selection from about a thousand previously published pieces, I read in fits and starts over a long period of time. Many people have tried to analyze Robert Benchley's particular form of humor, and I would be the last one to add my tiny voice to that of the throng, because I don't think it can be analyzed. It is sometimes mad, sometimes penetrating, and sometimes based on nothing more than word associations, and the only generalization that can be made with any degree of certainty is that it is different- or, if you will, unique. So let's just leave it that the humorous pieces collected here, written between 1915 and 1945, are those which seem to stand up best over the years. There were some that were much admired when they first appeared, but were based on premises that now seem a little soft; others were glorious in part but evaporated when taken as a whole; and all these have been left out in an attempt to select the most durable. Another compiler might have picked an entirely different group, but that would have been his worry. These are the ones that I like best, and beyond that there isn't much more I ought to say. -Nathaniel Benchley
Bend It Like Bullard
by Jimmy BullardJimmy Bullard may not have had the perfect hair-do, his Granada Ghia may not have been the flashiest of cars, and he definitely didn't have a string of Page 3 girls trying to sell kiss and tell stories about him to the tabloids. But what he has in spades is a genuine love for The Beautiful Game that few of his peers can match. One of the last graduates from football's old school, Jimmy actually worked in the real world - including as a painter and decorator - before turning pro. Maybe that's why he played football with a smile on his face, always says what's on his mind, and is no stranger to a spot of mischief.Having played under the likes of Barry Fry, Harry Redknapp and Phil Brown, appeared alongside names as diverse as Neil Ruddock and Paolo di Canio, and as long as Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink, Jimmy has racked up an amazing collection of tales and pranks both on and off the football front-line. Told with candour, Bend It Like Bullard is the extraordinary story of his journey from cable TV fitter to cult hero. It will make you smile, chuckle and, occasionally, ROFL.
Bendy Ben: Book 5 (My Freaky Family #5)
by Laurence AnholtMeet Ben - the bendiest of all Ruby's relations! Join Ruby and Ben as they continue the hilarious tour of their crazy family in this delightful new spin on Laurence Anholt's much-loved series. With the original fabulous illustrations by Tony Ross, these popular books have been refreshed for a vibrant and contemporary feel.
Beneath the Veil of Paradise (The Bryants: Powerful & Proud #1)
by Kate HewittHaving a passionate affair on a desert island was not something Millie Lang ever thought she'd do....Since tragedy struck her life, Millie has cocooned herself in her work, leaving no time to think or feel.Chase Bryant has his own reasons for escaping it all. As long as they both know this paradise is just for one week with no messy emotions, all should be fine.But neither of these two damaged souls is ready for the Pandora's box of emotions that their intense passion unleashes....
Benjamin Franklin: You've Got Mail (Benjamin Franklin #2)
by Adam Mansbach Alan ZweibelIf the Future has any remedy for this situation, do not hesitate to provide it. That is to say, Ike and Claire Wanzandae, HELP! HELP HELP HELP.I am (perhaps not for long), Benjamin FranklinIke Saturday has seen better days. For one thing, his pen pal, Benjamin Franklin (yes, that Benjamin Franklin), is the target of an angry mob after Ike's plan to help the Founding Fathers with some intel from the future seriously backfired. For another, he's decided to mail himself back in time with the help of his girlfriend, Claire Wanzandae, and it's not a particularly comfortable way to travel.Once Ike tracks B-Freezy down in 1776, it becomes clear that his pal is less than impressed with the irritating, modern-day rescuer, partially because Ike has a habit of making things worse for Ben, and partially because Ben is incredibly cranky when not in the presence of numerous meat pies. Which speaks to another issue for the pair: they have no money, no food, and basically no plan for saving the country. But Claire won't be able to cover for Ike back home in the future forever, and the British are looking pretty impatient, so Ike and B-Freezy will have to come up with something quickly if they want to avoid an epic, history-destroying disaster.In this hilarious sequel to Benjamin Franklin: Huge Pain in My . . . , Adam Mansbach and Alan Zweibel take Ike and B-Freezy's antics to the next level as this ill-paired (and sometimes actually ill) duo hold the future of the world in their not-so-capable hands.
Benjamin Franklin: Huge Pain in my... (Benjamin Franklin #1)
by Adam Mansbach Alan ZweibelDear Mr. Franklin, First of all, let me just say that this Assignment is Stupid. You are Dead. Why am I writing a letter to Some dead guy I've never even met? This is the start to a most unlikely pen pal relationship between thirteen-year-old Franklin Isaac Saturday (Ike) and Benjamin Franklin. Before the fateful extra credit assignment that started it all, Ike's life was pretty normal. He was avoiding the popularity contests of middle school, crushing hard on Clare Wanzandae and trying not roll his eyes at his stepfather, Dirk-the-Jerk's lame jokes. But all that changes when, in a successful effort to make Claire Wanzandae laugh, Ike mails his homework assignment to Ben Franklin???and he writes back. Soon, things go awry. After Ike has an embarrassing moment of epic proportions in front of Claire involving a playground, non-alcoholic beer, and a lot of kettle corn, Ike decides he needs to find a way to win Claire back. With some help from his new friend, B-Fizzle, can Ike get the girl and make his mark in history?
Benjamin Franklinstein Lives!
by Matthew Mcelligott Larry TuxburyVictor Godwin's orderly life is upended when he discovers that Benjamin Franklin never actually died-- he was put into suspended animation and hidden away for more than 200 years in Victor's basement! After an accident reawakens Ben, Victor must not only help him adjust to the modern world but also help him overcome a slight flaw--when Ben runs low on energy, he turns into a rampaging monster desperately hungry for electricity! All this while trying to take first place in the school science fair. With one of history's preeminent scientists helping out, what could go wrong?
Benjamin Franklinstein Lives!
by Mcelligott Matthew Tuxbury LarryVictor Godwin's orderly life is upended when he discovers that Benjamin Franklin never actually died- he was put into suspended animation and hidden away for more than 200 years in Victor's basement! After an accident reawakens Ben, Victor must not only help him adjust to the modern world but also help him overcome a slight flaw-when Ben runs low on energy, he turns into a rampaging monster desperately hungry for electricity! All this while trying to take first place in the school science fair. With one of history's preeminent scientists helping out, what could go wrong? .
Benjamin Franklinstein Meets Thomas Deadison
by Matthew Mcelligott Larry TuxburyBenjamin Franklinstein's most electrifying adventure yetVictor Godwin and his very old friend, 200-year-old reanimated Benjamin Franklin, are back for more madcap fun! After releasing the Wright Brothers from the clutches of the nefarious Emperor, the pair are working with the dwindling members of the Promethean Underground to try to stop the Emperor altogether. But when new Infinity light bulbs are installed throughout Philadelphia, Ben and Victor realize they are emitting more than just light. It turns out that Thomas Edison's scientific genius has been hijacked as well, allowing the Emperor to brainwash just about everyone to do his evil bidding. Zombies, mystery, and mayhem keep the pages turning in this hilariously quirky adventure, and the illustrations, puzzles and a fantastic interactive website extend the fun. .
Bennie's Wish
by Xara X. XanakasFor years, Ally Theodisius has suspected his "friends" have been humoring him to stay in his good graces--and his wallet--so when a No Pants Day breakfast ends in his humiliation, he finally takes a stand. When model Bennie Arnold runs into Ally, his first impression is of a cute, adorably dimpled writer in dire need of a real friend. Bennie would be happy to fill the role. There's just one little problem: he's going commando, and it happens to be No Pants Day. If he has any hope of getting his wish, Bennie will have to use his best assets to convince Ally he's the real deal.
Bennington Girls Are Easy
by Charlotte SilverChosen as one of "Summer's Best Books" by PEOPLE MAGAZINE: "Suprisingly insightful and seriously fun."One of O MAGAZINE's "Season's Best"A COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE "July Reads" Pick Named one of REFINERY 29's "21 New Authors to Watch" in 2015Charlotte Silver dazzles with a ruefully funny coming-of-age novel that follows two recent Bennington grads who are determined to make it in the Big Apple. Bennington College, founded in 1932 as a suitable refuge for the wayward daughters of good families, maintains its saucy reputation for attracting free spirits. There, acres outnumber students, the faculty is composed of fading hippie and clothing is largely optional. Or, as J. D. Salinger put it in Franny and Zooey: a Bennington-type "looked like she'd spent the whole train ride in the john, sculpting or painting or something, or as though she had a leotard on under her dress." Cassandra Puffin and Sylvie Furst met in high school but cement what they ardently believe will be everlasting friendship on Bennington's idyllic Vermont campus. Graduation sees Sylvie moving to New York City, where, later on their twenties, Cassandra joins her. These early, delirious years are spent decorating their Fort Greene apartment with flea market gems, dating "artists", and trying to figure out what they're doing with their lives. The girls are acutely and caustically observant of the unique rhythms of the city but tone deaf to their own imperfections, which eventually drives a wedge between them. Equal parts heartfelt and hilarious, Bennington Girls Are Easy is a novel about female friendships--how with one word from a confidante can lift you up or tear you down--and how difficult it is to balance someone else's devastatingly funny lapses in judgment with your own professional and personal missteps.From the Hardcover edition.
Benny and Penny in the Big No-No!
by Geoffrey HayesIn the second comic-book-style title to star brother and sister mice Benny and Penny, the fussy duo track down a mysterious new kid who may have climbed over the fence into their yard and stolen Benny's pail (a no-no).<P><P> Winner of the Theodore Seuss Geisel Medal
The Benny Kramer Novels: Fourth Street East, Last Respects, and Tiffany Street (The Benny Kramer Novels #3)
by Jerome WeidmanA New York native looks back on his Lower East Side youth in a trilogy from the New York Times–bestselling author and Pulitzer Prize–winning playwright. After making a splash with his first novel, I Can Get It for You Wholesale—published in 1937 and praised by the likes of Hemingway and Fitzgerald—Jerome Weidman had a long and prolific career as a fiction writer and playwright. In the 1970s he published three wise, funny, and nostalgic novels about the Lower East Side roots of a colorful character named Benny Kramer. For the first time, the trilogy is available in a single volume, with a foreword by Alistair Cooke. Fourth Street East: When Benny Kramer&’s father came to the United States, he was hungry, broke, and ignorant. Handed a banana and told it was &“American food,&” he scarfed it down, peel and all. By the time he died, he was no richer, but much wiser, and everything he learned he imparted to his son. Growing up on New York&’s Lower East Side between the wars, Benny&’s life was just as chaotic as his neighborhood. How many young boys have seen a man decapitated by a horse? How many know blacksmiths who got tangled up in a multiple homicide? How many win an elocution contest, only to find out it was rigged by the mob? For Benny, these are everyday events, remembered with biting wit and fond affection. &“This is all much more than noodle soup nostalgia—there&’s humor, and stamina, and if middle age has rubbed off here and there, it has also lent a certain wisdom.&” —Kirkus Reviews Last Respects: For most of his life, Benny Kramer&’s mother was an inescapable presence in his life. But on the day of her death, her body disappears on its way from hospital to morgue. While scouring New York in search of her body, Benny remembers the first adventure his mother sent him on, fifty years before. At the height of Prohibition, his mother gives him a simple task: deliver eighteen bottles of bootlegged hooch to a wedding. Along the way, the would-be rumrunner encounters sinister slumlords, a sadistic rabbi, and enough slapstick obstacles to give the Marx Brothers fits. Reliving each moment as he searches for his mother, Benny comes to understand that this is just another day in the life of a boy desperate to find his mother&’s love. &“The last respects are paid with comic tumult and an acute compassion. Weidman at the apex.&” —Kirkus Reviews Tiffany Street: Though his trip from New York to Philadelphia is for business, Benny Kramer has also planned a rendezvous—not with a mistress, but with one of the city&’s finest doctors. Kramer plans to enlist him in a noble purpose: keeping his son out of Vietnam. The doctor won&’t provide this service to just anyone, but he and Benny have a mutual friend in the incomparable Sebastian Roon. Benny and Seb have been friends since the Depression, when they shared countless adventures across New York&’s Lower East Side. Now Benny&’s counting on that friendship to ensure the same life of endless possibilities for his son. &“Highly readable.&” —Chicago Tribune
Benny on the Beach (Wordless Graphic Novels)
by Ed Diego ArandojoAt first, Benny isn't too excited about spending a day on the beach. But what happens when the young boy digs up a living, breathing woolly mammoth? Find out in this wordless graphic novel where the artwork brings the story to life.
Benny Ramírez and the Nearly Departed
by José Pablo IriarteBenny Ramírez can see dead people . . . Well, one dead person, anyway. A hilarious and heartwarming story about a boy who can suddenly see the ghost of his famous musician grandfather!After moving cross-country into his late grandfather&’s Miami mansion, Benny discovers that the ghost of his famous trumpet-playing abuelo, the great Ignacio Ramírez, is still there . . . and isn&’t too thrilled about it. He&’s been barred from the afterlife, and no one can see him except his grandson. But Benny&’s got problems of his own. He&’s enrolled in a performing arts school with his siblings, despite having no obvious talent. Luckily, Abuelo believes they can help each other. Abuelo has until New Year&’s Eve to do some good in the world and thinks that teaching Benny how to play the trumpet and become a school celebrity might be the key to earning his wings. Having no better ideas, Benny finds himself taking Abuelo's advice—to disastrous and hilarious results. Benny and Abuelo will find that there&’s more than one way to be great in this unforgettable, laugh-out-loud tale of family, music, and self-discovery.
Benny & Shrimp
by Katarina MazettiWhy is it so impossible to get a relationship to work between two mature single people, driven by an enormous longing and loudly ticking biological clocks? Especially when they are struck by a totally unexpected passion when they first meet#133; In alternate chapters, Benny and #147;Shrimp” tell the story of a love that started by mistake in a village cemetery, a love that should not really be as complicated as it seems. She is a childless young widow with a sharp intellect and a home so tidy that even her jam jars are in alphabetical order. He is a gentle, overworked milk farmer, a reluctant loner, who fears becoming the village’s Old Bachelor. The attraction between them is powerful. But how will she learn to accept that he falls asleep at the opera and has a house full of his mother’s embroidered wall hangings, and how could he ever feel at home in her minimalist apartment, bare as a dentist’s waiting room? In Benny and Shrimp, Katarina Mazetti brilliantly captures the intensity of an unexpected love affair, and the heartbreaking inevitability with which life tends to get in the way.
Benny the Big Shot Goes to Camp (Penguin Young Readers, Level 3 #No. 2)
by Bonnie BaderBenny thinks he's the best at everything. He is such a big shot! But when Benny gets to camp, he's not very good at anything. When some campers get into trouble, can Benny be the best at saving the day?
Benny the Blue Whale: One Author's Descent into the Madness of AI
by Andy StantonAI is changing the world at frightening speed. A bestselling author decides to find out more… &‘Something profound and utterly brilliant is going on… hilarious.&’ THE TIMES Is ChatGPT the end of creative industries as we know them? An ethical quagmire from which there is no return? A threat to all our jobs, as we keep hearing on the news? Bestselling children&’s author Andy Stanton has made a career out of writing differently – from the unconventional &‘hero&’ of his bestselling Mr Gum series to his penchant for absurdist plots, his children&’s books are anything but formulaic. When a friend introduces him to ChatGPT, the new large language chatbot, Andy is as sceptical as he is curious. Can this jumble of algorithms really mimic the spontaneity of human thought? Could it one day replace human authors like him for good? And are we soon to be ruled over by despotic robot overlords? He decides there&’s only one thing for it – he must test this bot&’s capabilities. Eventually, he settles on a prompt that will push the algorithm to its creative limits: &‘tell me a story about a blue whale with a tiny penis.&’ Chaos ensues. What follows is a surprising and illuminating battle between Andy and ChatGPT that maybe, just maybe, might help us all understand AI a little bit better. Join Andy and his beleaguered AI lackey on a rollicking metafictional journey through the art of storytelling. Presenting his prompts and the AI-generated narrative alongside extensive commentary, Stanton provides a startling paean to the art of a good story and boundless human creativity. Hopeful and hilarious, Benny the Blue Whale provides a joyfully anarchic meditation on AI, literature and why we write. *** A WATERSTONES AND NEW SCIENTIST BEST BOOK OF 2023 &‘There&’s no book like it. Scholarly, childish, fascinating and hilarious – one of our funniest writers dissects what it takes to build a story and what that tells us about being human. It&’ll really make you think, if you can stop laughing.&’ Chris Addison, co-creator of BREEDERS &‘Entertaining and alarmingly relevant, provocative and philosophically satisfying, it&’s ultimately a profoundly human text.&’ OBSERVER &‘A magnificent experiment by a perfect fool – deep and shallow and stupid and clever – the perfect use of AI (Andy Intelligence).&’ Robin Ince, author of THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING INTERESTED &‘Benny the Blue Whale is many things. It&’s a fascinating discourse on the nature of language and storytelling. It&’s a philosophical treatise on the possibilities of artificial intelligence. It&’s a receptacle for obscenely hilarious jokes... A brilliant and beautiful cyborg: part human brain, part computational muscle. It&’s a post-post-modern work of genius.&’ Anthony McGowan, Carnegie Medal-winning author of LARK
Bent Object of My Affection: The Twists and Turns of Love
by Terry BorderFollowing the success of the wonderfully wacky and playful "Bent Objects," this charming gift book from the offbeat mind of Terry Border features 60 new wire-based creations that seek to express the many wonders and reasons for love. Everyday objects like raisins, cupcakes, pears, and puzzle pieces take center stage as theyOCOre bent into clever visual vignettes that provide a new perspective on that ever-elusive emotion. Each photograph is accompanied by a sweet caption that is sure to evoke that warm, fuzzy feeling inside, but with the authorOCOs signature ironic twist. In the tradition of bestselling humorous photography books featuring artful creations with food such as "Hello Cupcake " and "Cake Wrecks," this book will surprise and delight with every spread. And with its affordable price point and gifty trim size, "Bent Object of My Affection" is the perfect present for loved ones on ValentineOCOs Day, for anniversaries, or ?just because. OCO"