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The Ugly Doodles
by Valeria WickerThis hilarious and adorable picture book about creativity, fear of failure, and embracing your imperfections is perfect for kids and budding artists of all ages.After an inspiring visit to the local art museum, Raven Rembrandt is eager to create her own beautiful masterpieces. But the only thing she can seem to draw are ugly doodles -- and they won't go away, no matter how hard she tries to discard them! After a few increasingly inventive attempts to get rid of them, Raven realizes that the only way to learn to love her art is to just create.Valeria Wicker's endearing and quirky art style adds humor to her sweet and whimsical story about overcoming a fear of imperfection and failure.
The Ugly Duchess: Number 4 in series (Happy Ever After #4)
by Eloisa James'Nothing gets me to a bookstore faster than Eloisa James' - Julia QuinnHow can she dare to imagine he loves her... when all London calls her The Ugly Duchess?Theodora Saxby is the last woman anyone expects the gorgeous James Ryburn, heir to the Duchy of Ashbrook, to marry. But after a romantic proposal before the prince himself, even practical Theo finds herself convinced of her soon-to-be duke's passion. Still, the tabloids give the marriage six months. Theo would have given it a lifetime . . . until she discovers that James desires not her heart, and certainly not her countenance, but her dowry.Society was shocked by their wedding, but it's scandalized by their separation. James heads to sea where he becomes a notorious pirate, and Theo builds their estate into a flourishing concern. Back from the seas, a scandalous tattoo of a poppy under one eye, James now faces the battle of his lifetime: convincing Theo that he loved the duckling who blossomed into the swan. Theo will quickly find that for a man with the soul of a pirate, all's fair in love - or war.'Eloisa James is extraordinary' - Lisa Kleypas'Romance writing does not get much better than this' - People
The Ugly Princess and the Wise Fool
by Margaret GrayA quirky take on an every day fairy tale. Rose is not your typical princess, she isn't even beautiful. When her fairy godmother grants her one wish, her whole life changes.
The Ugly Sea
by R. A. LaffertyThe Sea is ugly and monotonous, with only four or five faces, and all of them coarse, but mankind has just decided to deny this ugliness for subconscious reasons. Lafferty was the winner of the Hugo and World Fantasy Award and a six time Nebula Award Nominee. His quirky style made his work hard to pigeonhole and market, but he still managed to influence a wide array of today&’s best writers. Simply on of the best writers the science fiction and fantasy field has ever produced.
The Ugly Truth (Diary of a Wimpy Kid #5)
by Jeff KinneyGreg Heffley has always been in a hurry to grow up. But is getting older really all it’s cracked up to be?<P><P> Greg suddenly finds himself dealing with the pressures of boy-girl parties, increased responsibilities, and even the awkward changes that come with getting older—all without his best friend, Rowley, at his side. Can Greg make it through on his own? Or will he have to face the “ugly truth”?
The Ugly Truth (Diary of a Wimpy Kid #5)
by Jeff KinneyGreg Heffley has always been in a hurry to grow up. But is getting older really all it’s cracked up to be?<P><P> Greg suddenly finds himself dealing with the pressures of boy-girl parties, increased responsibilities, and even the awkward changes that come with getting older—all without his best friend, Rowley, at his side. Can Greg make it through on his own? Or will he have to face the “ugly truth”?
The Ultimate Betrayal (Wedlocked! #1799)
by Michelle ReidRead this classic, passionate romance from USA TODAY bestselling author Michelle Reid, now available for the first time in e-book!A marriage in crisis…“I never meant to do it… she was just there when I needed someone…” Rachel and Daniel had three adorable children and a strong marriage—or so Rachel had always believed. But her happy life was shattered when she was told that Daniel had been having an affair.Then she realized that they’d been growing apart for years. Rachel wants so much to save her marriage—but is it too late? Can she ever forgive Daniel, if he has committed the ultimate betrayal?Originally published in 1995
The Ultimate Book of Blonde, Brunette, and Redhead Jokes
by James BuffingtonAS SHAMELESS AND HILARIOUS AS IT IS POLITICALLY INCORRECTWhat's the mating call of a blonde?"I'm sooooo drunk."How does a brunette recharge her love life?She changes the batteries.How is a redhead like a condom?They both spend most of their time in your wallet.Why did 18 blondes go to the movies together?The sign said: "Under seventeen not admitted."What does a redhead scream when climaxing?Her own name.Why does Ohio have brunettes and California have earthquakes?California had first choice.Why did the blonde sell her water skis?She couldn't find a lake on a hillside.
The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes: 1,001+ Punny Jokes Your Pops Will Love Telling Over and Over and Over . . .
by Gordon Hideaki NagaiA MASSIVE COLLECTION OF LAUGHABLE, CHEESY JOKES PERFECT FOR AMUSING DADS WHILE SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING THE KIDS As groan-inducing as they are hilarious, dad jokes are the punny one-liners and oh-so-clever quips fathers never tire of telling. With this massive collection, no Dad will ever lack new material to make his kids facepalm: • A watermelon and a honeydew wanted to get married right away, but they cantaloupe. • After Humpty Dumpty recovered from his fall, he was just a shell of his former self. • Sign language interpreters have to lean sideways to translate something in italics. • Anyone with a wheat allergy that routinely eats pasta is just a gluten for punishment. • A chord walked into a bar and ordered a drink. The bartender said, &“We don&’t serve minors.&”
The Ultimate Book of Insults: A Handbook of Abuse, Snubs, Taunts, and Put-Downs
by Geoff TibballsA brilliant collection of insults and sharp retorts for every situation. Includes studied insults, wry putdowns, literary, political, and dramatic rebukes, playground insults, barbs and jibes. The perfect resource for responding to life's slings and arrows with humour and satisfying venom.
The Ultimate Book of Insults: A Handbook of Abuse, Snubs, Taunts, and Put-Downs
by Geoff TibballsA brilliant collection of insults and sharp retorts for every situation. Includes studied insults, wry putdowns, literary, political, and dramatic rebukes, playground insults, barbs and jibes. The perfect resource for responding to life's slings and arrows with humour and satisfying venom.
The Ultimate Book of Top Ten Lists: A Mind-Boggling Collection of Fun, Fascinating and Bizarre Facts on Movies, Music, Sports, Crime, Celebrities, History, Trivia and More
by Jami FraterA collection of obscure facts, impressive achievements, despicable crimes, bizarre records, unforgettable films and more from the authors of listverse.com.Discover bizarre facts, amazing trivia, astonishing mysteries, natural wonders, little-known people, useful tips and much more in this mammoth bathroom reader. From crime, movies and music to science, history and literature, this book offers an incredible array of intriguing top-ten lists, including:• Urban Legends—Debunked• Influential People Who Never Lived• Ancient Methods of Execution• Poisonous Foods We Love to Eat• Inventions of the Middle Ages• Gruesome Fairytale Origins• Secret Societies• Amazing Film Swordfights• Bizarre Animal Mating Rituals• Misconceptions About Evolution• Tips for Frugal Living• Fascinating Graveyards You Must See
The Ultimate Book of Useless Information
by Noel BothamBigger, better, and more useless than ever! In their groundbreakingly useless book, The Book of Useless Information, the members of the Useless Information Society proved that knowledge doesn't have to be useful to be entertaining. Now they present a new collection of their most fascinating, hilarious, and wholly trivial findings. The Ultimate Book of Useless Information includes such "did you knows" as: - Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite - The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing - And giraffes have no vocal cords
The Ultimate Book of Zombie Warfare and Survival: A Combat Guide to the Walking Dead
by Scott KenemoreThe Gory Guide to the Walking DeadWhile most people know what zombies look like, do they actually know how they act? What they do during their spare time? What their work ethic is? Probably not.Enter The Ultimate Book of Zombie Warfare and Survival. From bestselling zombie author Scott Kenemore, learn all the tricks to the living dead trade. Whether you’re fighting the zombies or are a zombie yourself, this collection is all that you need to survive on your own.Included in this book are excerpts and illustrations from such helpful handbooks as:The Code of the Zombie PirateThe Art of Zombie WarfareZ.E.O.The Zen of ZombieZombies vs. NazisThe Ultimate Book of Zombie Warfare and Survival is a one-stop shop for everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the world of zombies. Whether you’re the undead seeking to make it in the business industry, fine-tune your martial arts, master your swashbuckling, or move on up the corporate ladder, this compendium is just for you.With gory full-color illustrations and insightful knowledge from the man who knows zombies better than they know themselves, The Ultimate Book of Zombie Warfare and Survival will scare, teach, and prepare you for everything you’ve ever needed to know about zombies.Skyhorse Publishing, under our Night Shade and Talos imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of titles for readers interested in science fiction (space opera, time travel, hard SF, alien invasion, near-future dystopia), fantasy (grimdark, sword and sorcery, contemporary urban fantasy, steampunk, alternative history), and horror (zombies, vampires, and the occult and supernatural), and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller, a national bestseller, or a Hugo or Nebula award-winner, we are committed to publishing quality books from a diverse group of authors.
The Ultimate Cockney Geezer's Guide to Rhyming Slang
by Geoff TibballsWould you Adam and Eve it? Over a hundred years after it was first heard on the streets of Ye Olde London Towne, Cockney rhyming slang is still going strong, and this book contains the most comprehensive and entertaining guide yet.Presented in an easy-to-read A to Z format, it explains the meaning of hundreds of terms, from old favourites such as apples and pears (stairs) and plates of meat (feet) to the more obscure band of hope (soap) and cuts and scratches (matches) through to modern classics such as Anthea Turner (earner) and Ashley Cole (own goal), as well as providing fascinating background info and curious Cockney facts throughout. Also included are a series of language tests so that readers can brush up on their newfound knowledge on their way to becoming a true Cockney Geezer.All in all, The Ultimate Cockney Geezer's Guide to Rhyming Slang is well worth your bread and honey to have a butcher's.
The Ultimate Discworld Companion
by Terry Pratchett Stephen BriggsThe absolute, comprehensive, from Tiffany Aching to Jack Zweiblumen guide to all things Discworld, fully illustrated by Paul Kidby.The Discworld, as everyone knows, is a flat world balanced on the back of four elephants which, in turn, stand on the shell of the giant star turtle, the Great A'Tuin, as it slowly swims through space.It is also the global publishing phenomenon with sales of over 70 million books worldwide (but who's counting?). There's an awful lot of Discworld to keep track of. But fear not! Help is at hand. For the very first time, everything (and we mean everything) you could possibly want to know has been crammed into one place.If you need a handy guide to locales from Ankh-Morpork to Zemphis . . .If you can't tell your Achmed the Mads from your Jack Zweiblumens . . .If your life depends on distinguishing between the Agatean Empire and the Zoons . . .Look no further. Updated and perfected by Stephen Briggs, the man behind The Ultimate Discworld Companion's predecessor Turtle Recall, this is your ultimate guide to Sir Terry Pratchett's beloved fantasy world.
The Ultimate Discworld Companion
by Terry Pratchett Stephen BriggsThe absolute, comprehensive, from Tiffany Aching to Jack Zweiblumen guide to all things Discworld, fully illustrated by Paul Kidby.The Discworld, as everyone knows, is a flat world balanced on the back of four elephants which, in turn, stand on the shell of the giant star turtle, the Great A'Tuin, as it slowly swims through space.It is also the global publishing phenomenon with sales of over 70 million books worldwide (but who's counting?). There's an awful lot of Discworld to keep track of. But fear not! Help is at hand. For the very first time, everything (and we mean everything) you could possibly want to know has been crammed into one place.If you need a handy guide to locales from Ankh-Morpork to Zemphis . . .If you can't tell your Achmed the Mads from your Jack Zweiblumens . . .If your life depends on distinguishing between the Agatean Empire and the Zoons . . .Look no further. Updated and perfected by Stephen Briggs, the man behind The Ultimate Discworld Companion's predecessor Turtle Recall, this is your ultimate guide to Sir Terry Pratchett's beloved fantasy world.
The Ultimate Game Guide To Your Life: Or, The Video Game As Existential Metaphor
by Christopher MonksFor anyone who has ever felt like life is like a video game comes this faux game guide for a fictional adventure video game titled ''Your Life.''Fans of videogames or anyone who has ever held a controller will love this romp through life's challenges from the formative Toddler Years all the way to the Retirement Home. Complete with navigation, instructions for which buttons to press on your gamepad, and secret codes for success, you'll find out all the tricks to win such challenges as ''Navigating the School Cafeteria on the First Day of High School'' and ''Temp Job Derby.'' Plus you'll learn the important skill of fending off giant robots. Gamepad not included.
The Ultimate George W. Bushisms: Bush at War (with the English Language)
by Jacob Weisberg"This business about graceful exit just simply has no realism to it at all." As the end of the Bush era approaches, the legacy is clear: George W. Bush is a wartime president. His enemy, battered but not defeated after repeated surges: the English language. The ultimate edition of George W. Bushisms captures this legacy -- from the Gulf Coast to Iraq and back -- with all-new pearls of wisdom and the twenty-five greatest hits of the entire presidency. "You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war president. No president wants to be a war president, but I am one." "I think -- tide turning -- see, as I remember -- I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of -- it's easy to see a tide turn -- did I say those words?"
The Ultimate Gross Challenge: A Battle of Yucky Choices
by Jimmy NiroThe grossest, goofiest, gut-busting game book ever!Battle your friends and family in a wacky game too silly for real life and get ready to laugh out loud! In this epic gross championship, read aloud hundreds of the funniest and most disgusting questions and earn points deciding which hilariously nasty scenarios you would rather choose. It's the perfect game book for endless hours of fun for kids age 8 to 12 and kids at heart! Are YOU ready for The Ultimate Gross Challenge?Bringing lots of non-stop giggles, this gross humor book for kids is perfect for:Gifts for boys and girls: A laugh-out-loud gift for birthdays, holiday stocking stuffers, Easter baskets, and moreScreen-free time: Non-stop entertainment for family game nights, parties, road trips, and sleepoversReluctant young readers: Funny content engages the imaginations of reluctant and beginner readers, helping them gain confidence and build vocabulary and reading comprehensionCould you drink a glass of water from a dirty fish tank, or would you lick the liquid leaking from a garbage can?Could you sleep on a pillow made of eyeballs, or would you snuggle up in a blanket full of fish guts?Could you eat baby snakes as pasta, or would you eat dish sponges as sandwich bread
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels in One Outrageous Volume (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy #1 - 5)
by Douglas Adams<p>At last in paperback in one complete volume, here are the five classic novels from Douglas Adams’s beloved <i>Hitchiker</i> series. <p><i>The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy</i>. Seconds before the Earth is demolished for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is saved by Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised Guide. Together they stick out their thumbs to the stars and begin a wild journey through time and space. <p><i>The Restaurant at the End of the Universe</i>. Facing annihilation at the hands of warmongers is a curious time to crave tea. It could only happen to the cosmically displaced Arthur Dent and his comrades as they hurtle across the galaxy in a desperate search for a place to eat. <p><i>Life, the Universe and Everything</i>. The unhappy inhabitants of planet Krikkit are sick of looking at the night sky– so they plan to destroy it. The universe, that is. Now only five individuals can avert Armageddon: mild-mannered Arthur Dent and his stalwart crew. <p><i>So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish</i>. Back on Earth, Arthur Dent is ready to believe that the past eight years were all just a figment of his stressed-out imagination. But a gift-wrapped fishbowl with a cryptic inscription conspires to thrust him back to reality. So to speak. <p><i>Mostly Harmless</i>. Just when Arthur Dent makes the terrible mistake of starting to enjoy life, all hell breaks loose. Can he save the Earth from total obliteration? Can he save the Guide from a hostile alien takeover? Can he save his daughter from herself?
The Ultimate Joke Challenge: Battle the Whole Family with These Silly Jokes!
by Jimmy NiroThe Ultimate Joke Challenge is all fun and games...until somebody gets a bad case of the giggles!In this epic showdown, players compete in multi-level rounds with lots of hilarious jokes, silly tongue twisters, bonus activities, and more, to answer the ultimate question: who will get the most laughs? Chock full of hundreds of rib-tickling jokes for kids ages 8 to 12 and the whole family, this clean game book perfect for reluctant young readers is sure to be a knockout for entertaining game nights, road trips, sleepovers, and beyond! Just try not to laugh!Makes the perfect silly kids jokes book gift for boys and girls for birthdays, holiday stocking stuffers, Easter baskets, and more! On your mark, get set...start joking!Features include:8 joke rounds, plusA fill-in-the-blank joke roundTongue-twister roundShout challenge roundMumble challenge roundCharades roundTotal knockout tiebreaker round
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
by Mae B FiredMaking life in cubicle land a bit more fun, this book is a clever and amusing list of practical jokes--a list that will challenge even seasoned saboteurs to take risks and reap the awkward rewards. Whether it's filling the vending machine with a coworker's desk supplies, attaching fishing wire to phones and keyboards, or putting Jello in the toilets, pranks have been an office staple since the first cubicle was born. Split into chapters labeled Entry-Level, Middle Management, and Executive, jokesters are entertained with 200+ increasingly dangerous pranks. Complete with Tips for Talking Your Way Out of Anything and a list of important phone numbers, including the fire and police departments and the American Bar Association, this book is the perfect humorous gift for a friend, family member, or coworker!
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
by Mae B FiredMaking life in cubicle land a bit more fun, this book is a clever and amusing list of practical jokesùa list that will challenge even seasoned saboteurs to take risks and reap the awkward rewards. Whether itÆs filling the vending machine with a coworkerÆs desk supplies, attaching fishing wire to phones and keyboards, or putting Jello in the toilets, pranks have been an office staple since the first cubicle was born. Split into chapters labeled Entry-Level, Middle Management, and Executive, jokesters are entertained with 200+ increasingly dangerous pranks. Complete with Tips for Talking Your Way Out of Anything and a list of important phone numbers, including the fire and police departments and the American Bar Association, this book is the perfect humorous gift for a friend, family member, or coworker!
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
by Mae B. FiredMaking life in cubicle land a bit more fun, this book is a clever and amusing list of practical jokes'a list that will challenge even seasoned saboteurs to take risks and reap the awkward rewards. Whether it's filling the vending machine with a coworker's desk supplies, attaching fishing wire to phones and keyboards, or putting Jello in the toilets, pranks have been an office staple since the first cubicle was born. Split into chapters labeled Entry-Level, Middle Management, and Executive, jokesters are entertained with 200+ increasingly dangerous pranks. Complete with Tips for Talking Your Way Out of Anything and a list of important phone numbers, including the fire and police departments and the American Bar Association, this book is the perfect humorous gift for a friend, family member, or coworker!