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The Wheel is Spinning but the Hamster is Dead: A Journey Around the World in Idioms, Proverbs and General Nonsense
by Adam SharpKnow your tater trap from your sniffle herring in Sharp's journey around the world in idioms, proverbs and general nonsense - the perfect gift for book lovers and language obsessives!'Brilliant, hilarious fun from a master wordsmith - you will LOVE this book' Kit de Waal'Extremely entertaining and very useful for new insults' Russell Kane'Utter genius' Marian Keyes'Brilliant' Brian BilstonJoin wordsmith Adam Sharp as he journeys around the world in idioms, proverbs and general nonsense. Learn unusual insults from France (You are a potato with the face of a guinea pig), how to hurry someone up in the US (You're going as slow as molasses in January) and what they call a shark in Vietnam (fat fish).Full of fascinating, ridiculous and hilarious translations from around the world, Adam has rounded up the very best of what every corner of the globe has to offer.Let's get this show on the road! Or:Let's saddle the chickens! (German)On with the butter! (Icelandic)Forward with the goat! (Dutch)
Wheels, No Wheels
by Shannon McNeillAdorable barnyard animals go for a joyride in this hilarious tale, perfect for very young readers and fans of Little Blue Truck. A llama has no wheels. A turtle has no wheels. A cat has no wheels. Not to worry! A skateboard has wheels, a tractor has wheels and a bike has wheels. Some wily farm animals decide to go for a ride, leaving the farmer without her wheels. After the animals go and go and go and go, chaos ensues . . . but luckily there are some truck driving chicks to save the day.
Wheelworld: To The Stars Book 2 (To The Stars)
by Harry HarrisonWheelworld: An unforgiving planet where the sun is about to rise and will not set for another four years; where an ancient peasant hierarchy still rules a society equipped with the highest technology; where the people are as dependent on visiting ships as they are on the very air that they breathe; home for some, but for Jan Kulozik it is an eternal prison.And when ships don't come, Jan finds himself at the centre of an epic struggle for power, and survival...
When a Man Marries
by Mary Roberts RinehartA young artist, recently divorced by his wife, finds that his aunt is soon to visit. The aunt, who contributes to the family income and who has never seen the wife, knows nothing of the domestic upheaval. How the young man meets the situation is humorously and most entertainingly told.
When a Wolf Is Hungry
by Christine Naumann-VilleminALA Youth Media Awards: 2018 Batchelder Honor Award WinnerA darkly humorous tale with a twist ending Edmond Bigsnout, lone wolf that he is, loves his solitary cabin in the woods. But lately he's been craving urban rabbit for dinner, so he travels into the city to catch one. Unfortunately, the rabbit has a lot of neighbors—who mistake Edmond for a kind and helpful resident! Perhaps Edmond can become a good neighbor, despite his bad intentions. Readers of all ages will devour this story about a wolf who decides that if you can't eat them, join them.Kirkus Best Picture Books of 2017 Cooperative Children's Book Center&’s "CCBC Choices 2018&”
When Agnes Caws
by Candace FlemingWhen eight-year old Agnes Peregrine, an accomplished birdcaller, travels with her mother to the Himalayas in search of the elusive pink-headed duck, she encounters a dastardly foe.
When an Alien Meets a Swamp Monster
by Cornelius Van WrightCould two little boys who scare each other silly ever become friends?When Alik and Boi accidentally bump into each other at the pond, they aren’t exactly thrilled. In fact, they’re terrified! Boi thinks Alik is a swamp monster, and Alik thinks Boi is a space alien. Both run home in a panic to share their news, but their families don’t believe them. If only Alik and Boi can drum up the courage to venture back outside, they just might cross paths again and realize how much they have in common.With an encouraging message about second chances and looking past appearances, this delightfully absurd story about two very different-looking adventurers is full of laugh-out-loud, action-packed fun. It’s perfect for fans of funny books like Shark vs. Train and Children Make Terrible Pets.
When Apples Grew Noses and White Horses Flew: Tales of Ti-Jean
by Jan AndrewsA USBBY Outstanding International Books Honor Book and a nominee for the 2012 Silver Birch Express Award in the Ontario Library Association's Forest of Reading Program and the Canadian Library Association Book of the Year for Children Award In these three imaginative stories, Jan Andrews introduces us to Quebec's traditional folktale hero, Ti-Jean. He's an endearing character who is both wise and foolish, and though he does find himself in hard situations (often of his own making), in the end, he somehow manages to do what needs to be done. In "Ti-Jean and the Princess of Tomboso" he outwits a greedy princess; in "Ti-Jean the Marble Player" he gets the best of a pint-sized scoundrel; and in "How Ti-Jean Became a Fiddler" he turns the tables on a too-clever-for-her-own-good seigneur's daughter, and finds true love in the process.
When Bad Things Happen to Rich People (Switchgrass Books)
by Ian MorrisWhen Bad Things Happen to Rich People is a novel of social satire, a black comedy set in Chicago in the summer of 1995. The novel's protagonist, Nix Walters, is an adjunct instructor of English at a communications college in the loop with few prospects for advancement. He had become a literary punch line when his novel, touted as the next big literary phenomenon, was universally panned by critics. He and his pregnant wife, Flora, are struggling financially; however, their fortunes change when Nix is asked to ghostwrite the memoirs of publishing magnate Zira Fontaine. While grateful for a lavish author fee, Nix quickly finds his marriage, his career, and his sense of identity threatened as he struggles with a difficult subject, navigates office intrigue of Fontaine's corporation, and faces impending fatherhood. These tensions come to a turbulent climax when a brutal heat wave hits the city. Written in the spirit of great naturalist novelists of the previous century, such as Dreiser, Norris, and Crane, with a black comic twist, Morris's first novel is a study in aspiration and self-deception in the face of unforeseen adversity. Set among the broad lawns of Lake Forest where the domestic staff skim leaves from the pool and the sweltering streets of Chicago's pre-gentrified Wicker Park neighborhood, where children plunge into the raging stream of open fire hydrants, When Bad Things Happen to Rich People is a broad panorama of our current social reality.
When Bad Things Happen to Stupid People: A Close To Home Collection (Close to Home #16)
by John McPhersonSome call it weird. Others, eclectic, creative, hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny, and good old-fashioned snort-milk-out-your-nose humor. Whatever adjective you apply to Close to Home, it has become one of the most popular comic panels in the funny pages today. Close to Home has devout fans that range from elementary students to octogenarians. As one fan put it, "I feel like you have been looking in my window and are drawing my life!" Though by no means a Peeping Tom, John McPherson does have the unique skill of being able to take those idiosyncrasies of daily life that drive us all nuts and infuse them with razor-sharp wit.In When Bad Things Happen to Stupid People John features angry letters from readers, cartoons that were killed by the editor, a glimpse inside his creative process, and never-before-seen photos of his erasers, quill pens, and his lucky drawing slippers. Who could resist it?
When Beauty Tamed The Beast: Number 2 in series (Happy Ever After #2)
by Eloisa James'Nothing gets me to a bookstore faster than Eloisa James' - Julia QuinnMiss Linnet Berry Thrynne is a Beauty . . . Naturally, she's betrothed to a Beast.If only her gown hadn't been so fully cut, or she hadn't been caught kissing that prince . . . But now the ton believes Linnet to be with royal child - and therefore unmarriageable - so she might as well make her desperate father happy by consenting to wed a beast.A brilliant surgeon with a reputation for losing his temper - and a wound believed to have left him . . . incapable - Piers, Earl of Montague, should welcome a bride-to-be carrying a ready-made, blue-blooded heir. But Piers isn't fooled by the lady's subterfuge, and though Linnet's devilishly smart and charming with a loveliness that outshines the sun, there will be no wedding of beauty to beast.Still, Linnet finds the gorgeous brute intriguing, with a spark of gentility behind his growl that's worth fanning. And it's obvious to the naked eye that 'incapable' does not mean 'uninterested'...'Eloisa James is extraordinary' - Lisa Kleypas'Romance writing does not get much better than this' - People
When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book (Dilbert Ser. #21)
by Scott Adams"Dilbert is easily one of the most clever and consistently funny comics in current circulation. Like all great comic strips, it provides a much-needed daily dose of comedy and, most importantly, keeps its finger firmly planted on the pulse of truth while doing so." Some might think that the corporate scandals of 2002 could make it difficult to find anything funny about today's business world. But When Body Language Goes Bad proves it will take more than that to slow down the inventive wit of Scott Adams, who clearly is never at a loss for finding hysterical things to mock in corporate life.This marks the 21st collection of Adams' wildly popular comic strip, Dilbert, which is featured in more than 2,000 newspapers worldwide. This book updates loyal readers on the so-called careers of Dilbert, Alice, Wally, Asok the intern, and other regulars as they wallow through pointless projects, mismanaged company takeovers, futile team-building exercises, and other inane company initiatives like the "name the rest room" contest.In addition to the strips' familiar characters, this collection showcases Adams' masterful ability to create hilarious "guest stars." There's the network design engineer known as Psycho Hillbilly, who was going for the gentle biker look until he decided it was overdone. Then, there's M. T. Suit, who is merely an empty suit walking the office halls spewing corporatese, such as "promising to enhance core competencies by leveraging platforms."Adams says that about 80 percent of his initial ideas come from his 150 million-plus readers. Those worldwide readers are sure to celebrate the humor found in When Body Language Goes Bad, his latest satirical look at the modern workplace.
When Churchill Slaughtered Sheep and Stalin Robbed a Bank: History's Unknown Chapters
by Giles MiltonMore addictive and mind-blowing true tales from history, told by Giles Milton—one of today’s most entertaining and accessible yet always intelligent and illuminating historiansIn When Churchill Slaughtered Sheep and Stalin Robbed a Bank, the second installment in his outrageously entertaining series, History’s Unknown Chapters, Giles Milton shows his customary historical flair as he delves into the little-known stories from history, like when Stalin was actually assassinated with poison by one of his inner circle; the Russian scientist, dubbed the “Red Frankenstein,” who attempted to produce a human-ape hybrid through ethically dubious means; the family who survived thirty-eight days at sea with almost no water or supplies after their ship was destroyed by a killer whale; or the plot that served as a template for 9/11 in which four Algerian terrorists attempted to hijack a plane and fly it into the Eiffel Tower.
When Cloud Became a Cloud
by Rob HodgsonMeet Cloud! Follow along as she moves, transforms, precipitates, and more in this charming and humorous portrayal of the water cycle.The lifecycle of our protagonist, Cloud, is delightfully and sparsely narrated in nine short chapters that follow the stages of the water cycle. Young readers will immediately fall for this wide-eyed puff, and welcome facts along with humor and personality as they bask in the accomplishment of breezing through each chapter.
When Clowns Attack
by Chuck SambuchinoTHEY'RE COMING FOR YOU Coulrophobia--the fear of clowns--is very real and for good reason. You might think these red-nosed jokers are creepy, sure, but certainly not dangerous. You'd be wrong. Clowns never reveal their real names, and dress to obscure their identities. The rules of civilized society don't apply to them (what other stranger could offer candy to children and get away with it?), they have countless places to hide weapons on their person, and their appearance is downright unnatural. Clowns are the scariest people on earth, and the truth is, they are coming for your valuables, your children, and your sanity. In this comprehensive guide to self-protection from clown creepery, petty crime, and violence, Chuck Sambuchino--founder of the anti-clown group Red Nose Alert--delves into the terrifying clown underworld to provide the knowledge you need to know to protect yourself from these seemingly innocuous gagmen, using his proven four-step system: ASSESS, ANALYZE, DEFEND, PROTECT. Included within are instructions on how to defeat a clown in close combat, tips for spotting the plainclothes clown, and tutorials for fully clown-proofing your home against these painted and bewigged warriors. Most importantly, you'll learn what to do when clowns attack... because it's only a matter of time before they do.From the Hardcover edition.
When Dads Don't Grow Up
by Marjorie Blain ParkerAn endearing celebration of dads who are young at heart Just in time for Father's Day, this playful book follows four father-child pairs as they spend happy, silly times together, popping bubble wrap and watching cartoons and taking part in shoppingcart races. These are dads who aren't worried about looking goofy or getting their hair wet - dads who still remember what it's like to be little. Don't be fooled. They may look like grown-ups on the outside, But underneath they're just like you . . . Kids!
When Did Caesar Become a Salad and Jeremiah a Bull
by Martin BabbJust a quick glance at the table of contents will tell you that this isn't your standard inspirational book. Consider these chapter titles: "It's a Dog-Eat-Dog World and Cats Are Waiting Tables,""I Need a Rocky Mountain High Because I've Reached a Barry Manilow,"and "If the Incredible Edible Roadkill Bill Passes, Will There Really Be a Fork in the Road?" Martin Babb moves beyond such extraordinary titles to address the ordinary issues we all face on a daily basis -- surviving trials, loving others, parenting, developing a servant's heart, and a variety of other down-to-earth topics. With each life-affirming lesson, he plants whimsical seeds intended to nurture serious reflection. When Did Caesar Become a Salad and Jeremiah a Bullfrog will give you a reason to smile and something to chew on with its unconventional collection of bite-sized essays.
When Did I Get Like This?: The Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, & Other Mothers I Swore I'd Never Be
by Amy Wilson“Amy Wilson’s hilarious, tender memoir…had me laughing out loud with recognition. She captures the small moments of motherhood in a way that is both funny and thought-provoking.”—Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness ProjectFrom the creator and star of the one-woman off-Broadway show Mother Load, comes When Did I Get Like This?, a screamingly funny take on being a modern woman, wife, and mother told with “a level of hilarity that even non-moms can appreciate” (Time Out). Amy Wilson’s poignant and provocative, utterly outrageous look at “the Screamer, the Worrier, the Dinosaur-Chicken-Nugget-Buyer, and Other Mothers I Swore I’d Never Be” has already earned an appreciative response from Three-Martini Playdate author Christie Mellor, who calls it, “As entertaining as it is reassuring.”
When Did I Stop Being Barbie and Become Mrs. Potato Head?: Learning to Embrace the Woman You've Become
by Mary PierceEmbrace Your Inner Mrs. Potato Head! She’s so much more real and full of fun than Barbie ever could be. And she knows how to laugh like only those who have discovered the humor, heart, and wisdom of true womanhood can laugh. Give her room to romp with this hilarious collection of zany, true-life stories by Mary Pierce. If you love to kick off your shoes and laugh your socks off over the foibles and absurdities of life, this book is for you. Mrs. Potato Head’s hormones are out of whack. Her memory is held together by sticky notes. But she’s got a sense of humor that just won’t quit, and she’s learned to accept and enjoy herself as she is—because God does.
When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices (Judith Viorst's Decades)
by Judith ViorstJudith Viorst is known and loved by readers of all ages, for children's books such as Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day; nonfiction titles, including the bestseller Necessary Losses; and her collections of humorous poetry, which make perfect gifts for birthdays, Mother's Day, graduation, Christmas, Chanukah, or at any time of year.When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices brings together the best of Judith Viorst's witty, insightful poetry, including many favorites from out-of-print collections. Whether she's finding herself or finding a sitter, or contemplating her sex life as she rubs the hormone night cream on her face, Viorst explores the true and funny ironies all women encounter growing up in the modern world. Here is a young single girl from Irvington, NJ, leaving her parents' home for life in the big city ("No I do not believe in free love/And yes I will be home for Sunday dinners," she promises). Here is the aspiring bohemian with an expensive liberal arts education, getting coffee and taking dictation, "Hoping that someday someone will be impressed/With all I know." Here is that married woman, coping with motherhood ("The tricycles are cluttering my foyer/The Pop Tart crumbs are sprinkled on my soul") and fantasy affairs ("I could imagine cryptic conversations, clandestine martinis...and me explaining that long kisses clog my sinuses") and all-too-real family reunions ("Four aunts in pain taking pills/One cousin in analysis taking notes"). And here she is at mid-life, wondering whether a woman who used to wear a "Ban the Bomb" button can find happiness being a person with a set of fondue forks, a fish poacher, and a wok. Every step of the way, Viorst transforms the familiar events of daily life into poems that make you laugh with recognition. When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices demonstrates once and for all that no one understands American women coming of age like Judith Viorst.
When Did Ignorance Become a Point of View: A Dilbert Book (Dilbert #17)
by Scott AdamsScott Adams still has the corporate world guffawing about the adventures of nerdy Dilbert and his power-hungry companion, Dogbert, plus Ratbert and the pointy-haired boss, as they make their way through the travails of modern work life. Only a cartoonist with been-there-endured-that experience could make us laugh so hard. When Did Ignorance Become a Point of View? captures it all, even those Sunday strips that make it into the office each Monday morning.
When Did White Trash Become the New Normal?: A Southern Lady Asks the Impertinent Question
by Charlotte HaysTattoos. Unwed pregnancy. Giving up on shaving...showering...and employment. These used to be signatures of a trashy individual. Now they're the new norm. What happened to etiquette, hygiene, and self restraint? Charlotte Hays, Southern gentlewoman extraordinaire, takes a humorous look at the spread of white trash culture to all levels of American society.
When Dimple Met Rishi: Now on Netflix as 'Mismatched' (Dimple And Rishi Ser.)
by Sandhya MenonA New York Times bestseller A Goodreads Choice YA finalist'Get ready to fall in love with Dimple Shah and Rishi Patel' HelloGigglesNow on Netflix as 'Mismatched' Meet Dimple.Her main aim in life is to escape her traditional parents, get to university and begin her plan for tech world domination.Meet Rishi.He's rich, good-looking and a hopeless romantic. His parents think Dimple is the perfect match for him, but she's got other plans...Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works even harder to prove itself in the most unexpected ways. As joyfully refreshing as Rainbow Rowell, Jenny Han and Nicola Yoon, When Dimple Met Rishi is a frothy, funny contemporary romance told from the dual perspectives of two Indian American protagonists. While Dimple is fighting her family traditions, Rishi couldn't be happier to follow in the footsteps of his parents - could sparks fly between this odd couple, or is this matchmaking attempt doomed to fail?'Menon wrote an utterly delightful novel and broke my heart by writing an ending because I want nothing more than to keep reading about Dimple and Rishi forever . . . I'm looking forward to it being a huge hit of 2017.' Book Riot'Funny, warm, and utterly charming . . . Sandhya Menon is a welcome and needed new voice in YA.'Katherine Webber
When Dimple Met Rishi: Coming Soon To Netflix As 'mismatched' (Dimple And Rishi Ser.)
by Sandhya Menon<P>When Dimple Met Rishi follows two Indian-American teens whose parents conspire to arrange their marriage.Dimple Shah has it all figured out. With graduation behind her, she’s more than ready for a break from her family, from Mamma’s inexplicable obsession with her finding the “Ideal Indian Husband.” Ugh. <P>Dimple knows they must respect her principles on some level, though. If they truly believed she needed a husband right now, they wouldn’t have paid for her to attend a summer program for aspiring web developers…right? <P>Rishi Patel is a hopeless romantic. So when his parents tell him that his future wife will be attending the same summer program as him—wherein he’ll have to woo her—he’s totally on board. Because as silly as it sounds to most people in his life, Rishi wants to be arranged, believes in the power of tradition, stability, and being a part of something much bigger than himself. <P>The Shahs and Patels didn’t mean to start turning the wheels on this “suggested arrangement” so early in their children’s lives, but when they noticed them both gravitate toward the same summer program, they figured, Why not? <P>Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works hard to prove itself in the most unexpected ways. <P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
When Dinosaurs Came With Everything
by Elise BroachJust when a little boy thinks he's going to die of boredom, he discovers that stores everywhere are giving away a very special treat with any purchase. It's a dream come true, except - what exactly do you do with these Jurassic treats?