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Why Is Daddy in a Dress?: Asking Awkward Questions with Baby Animals
by Amanda McCall Ben SchwartzWhy face the embarrassment of dealing with life's most awkward questions when adorable baby animals can do it for you? Amanda McCall and Ben Schwartz, the creators of the wickedly lovable Grandma's Dead, return with Why is Daddy in a Dress?, another invaluable aid to avoiding sticky situations. A book of postcards featuring cuddly kittens, playful puppies, fuzzy ducklings, and hoppity baby bunnies broaching sensitive subjects like "Are you a hooker?" or "Can we stop cuddling?," Why is Daddy in a Dress? is the perfect cure for foot-in-mouth disease.
Why is Q Always Followed by U?: Word-Perfect Answers to the Most-Asked Questions About Language
by Michael QuinionLong-time word-detective and bestselling author of Port Out, Starboard Home, Michael Quinion brings us the answers to nearly two hundred of the most intriguing questions he's been asked about language over the years. Sent to him by enquiring readers from all around the globe, Michael's answers about the meanings and histories behind the quirky phrases, slang and language that we all use are set to delight, amuse and enlighten even the most hardened word-obsessive.Did you know that 'Blighty' comes from an ancient Arabic word? Or that Liberace cried his way to the bank so many times people think he came up with the phrase? That 'cloud nine' started out as 'cloud seven' in the speakeasies of '30s America? And that the first person to have their thunder stolen was a dismal playwright from Drury Lane? Michael Quinion's Why is Q Always Followed By U? is full of surprising discoveries, entertaining quotations and memorable information. There are plenty of colourful stories out there, but Michael Quinion will help you discover the truth that lies behind the cock-and-bull stories and make sure you're always linguistically on the ball.
Why Jews Do That: Or 30 Questions Your Rabbi Never Answered
by Avram MlotekA Fun Take on "Judaism for Dummies" that Will Answer All Questions Wondered by the Goyim and Jewish People Alike! When the subject of religion comes up, people often get very shy and are worried about offending. Now, if there was only a book that covered all the nooks and crannies of a religion, written in an easily digestible way... Well, now there is! Written by Rabbi Avram Mlotek, Why Jews Do That is a terrific look into the Jewish religion, answering all the tough questions you've been afraid to ask. But this isn't just for the Jews among us. Just because you're Catholic, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, or the like, doesn't mean you cannot enjoy an inside look to find out if Jews believe in Jesus, what kosher really is, and how we keep our yarmulkes secured to our heads. So have no fear, as Jews are here to help! Some of the tough questions answered by Rabbi Mlotek include: What's with Jews and candles?Do Jews have confession like Catholics?Why are Jews obsessed with food?Is sex kosher? What about marijuana?And much more!Why Jews Do That is your one-stop shop for answers to all the questions you wanted to know, but were too shy to ask. So whether you're a devout follower, a casual observer, someone marrying into the faith, or just interested in buffing up your Bible knowledge, Rabbi Mlotek will guide you through the challah, mitzvahs, and shiksas that make Jewish life so...lively.
Why Me? (The Dortmunder Novels #5)
by Donald E. WestlakeBe careful what you steal . . . A fast-paced crime caper from the Edgar Award–winning author and &“funniest man in the world&” (The Washington Post Book World). The Byzantine Fire is much more than a ninety-carat ruby. As a stone it&’s worth over a million dollars, a value vastly increased by its pure gold band—but its history makes it priceless. A ring that has been fought for with sword and pen, and passed from nation to nation by all manner of theft and trickery, it finally made its way to the United States. The US has agreed to return it to Turkey, but it&’s about to be stolen twice more. A gang of Greeks armed with Sten guns burst into the security room at JFK Airport and escape with the priceless stone, which they deposit in the safe at a small jeweler&’s shop in Queens. A few hours later, unlucky thief John Dortmunder, expecting a routine robbery, steals it again. Much blood has been shed for this little ruby, and Dortmunder&’s could be next.
Why Men Skim Stones: An Illustrated A-Z of Modern Man
by Chris WindleHave you ever watched a man angling in the rain, building a shelter when there’s a bed waiting for him at home or peeing as high as he can up a wall?In Why Men Skim Stones, Chris Windle provides an amusing and indispensable insight into why men do the things they do. Here, finally, is a guide that tackles the big questions: why do male friends express their affection by subjecting each other to casual acts of violence? Why is it common for a man to have more of an idea of what he might do in the event of a zombie apocalypse, than what he might buy his mum for Christmas? If you’ve ever been dumbfounded when faced with a man who would rather talk to an inanimate object than read the instruction booklet, this is the book for you.Why Men Skim Stones is a compendium of oddness which, by offering explanations for man’s often bizarre behaviour, seeks to promote tolerance and understanding. This is a book that could save relationships, smooth family life or provide much needed reassurance for any man seeking to better understand his own actions.
Why Moms Are Weird
by Pamela RibonFrom the acclaimed author of Why Girls are Weird comes a second hilarious and surprising novel about love and family and the weirdo inside us all. Belinda "Benny" Bernstein doesn't brag about her life in Los Angeles, but she is proud of her independence. She's got a job and a place to live, and she even goes out on dates now and again. But when Benny's mother and sister get into a car accident, she drops everything to fly across the country and help her injured, unemployed mom. The only problem? She wasn't exactly invited -- and back in Virginia she finds herself confronting every issue her family has avoided for years, including her mom's thriving sex life and her sister's wild nightlife. Benny sets about fixing everything she thinks is broken at home, including mounds of clutter and the personal lives of the women she loves. But she soon stumbles upon a stack of letters that may reveal her mother's darkest secret. Benny only begins to understand her mom when she finds herself in a similar dilemma -- torn between someone she can't have and someone she thinks she shouldn't have. If Benny doesn't sort things out before she's sucked into the family vortex of dysfunction, there's no telling when she'll be able to go home again unless this is home, after all.
Why My Wife Thinks I'm an Idiot: The Life and Times of a Sportscaster Dad
by Mike GreenbergMeet Mike Greenberg, the popular host of ESPN Radio's Mike and Mike in the Morning, the highest-rated drive-time sports talk show on the dial. To his three-million-plus listeners, Greeny is the guy who's equally as comfortable dissecting zone defenses as he is discussing cashmere sweaters. He's been to Super Bowls and World Series, All-Star Games and Final Fours. He's interviewed Michael Jordan, Joe Montana, and Wayne Gretzky. He gets paid to enthuse about sports, which means he's the envy of most men in America. This is the hilarious, sometimes touching, and endlessly entertaining debut of one of America's fastest-rising sportscasters, a wry and revealing look at one man's good-hearted but mistake-prone attempt to grow up before his children do. Marriage, fatherhood, manhood, fame, athletes, crazed aunts with gambling problems, the true significance of sports, the worst possible thing to say in a room full of pregnant women-no topic is beyond his reach. But don't take our word on it, read what Greeny has to say about: * Dating: "People who reminisce fondly about dating are blocking out all the disasters and focusing only on the few great nights. If that is all you choose to remember, fine. But be aware that no experience is without good moments. I'm sure during the sacking of Rome there were a few decent nights; maybe they put on a play." * Life on the road: "Wife + television = no sleep." "No wife + no television = no sleep." "Wife + no television = sleep." "No wife + television = porn." * Keeping things in perspective: "Never assume you know more than the guy in the camouflage tux." * And, of course, marriage: "All of us are married to women who think we're idiots." Whether he's talking trash on the radio or talking dirty diapers over a fancy dinner, Greeny's determined to reconcile two halves of a whole. So if your enthusiasm has ever been curbed, or you're feeling remote without the remote, or you're just wondering what exactly goes on in a guy's brain, Why My Wife Thinks I'm an Idiot will be a source of comfort and unadulterated laughter.
Why Not?
by Shari LowSHE SHOULD HAVE LOOKED BEFORE SHE LEAPT. The man Jess has fallen in lust with is not only married, he's her boss. He's also famous -- a high-ranking government official who is all business by day, and all-out kinky by night. And when his photo -- his naked photo -- is splashed on the front page of the supermarket tabloids, Jess has Rude Awakening #1: home-wrecking leads to nothing but heartache. How could it all have backfired so? Are her instincts in this Crazy Thing called Love really that deplorable? SHE'LL LAND ON HER FEET. Maybe her instincts aren't the problem. Relying on her colorful circle of girlfriends for unconditional love and break-up recovery via margarita infusion, Jess makes another play for domestic bliss -- only to experience Rude Awakening #2: some men are wired to behave badly. But rather than settle, Jess is finally ready to put her happiness first. And happiness, for the time being, means calling on her friends to concoct a marvelous plan to get payback from her exes that's daring, hilarious, and certain to hit the jerks where they live.
Why Not Me?
by Mindy KalingFrom the author of the beloved New York Times bestselling book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and the creator and star of The Mindy Project comes a collection of essays that are as hilarious and insightful as they are deeply personal. In Why Not Me?, Kaling shares her ongoing journey to find contentment and excitement in her adult life, whether it's falling in love at work, seeking new friendships in lonely places, attempting to be the first person in history to lose weight without any behavior modification whatsoever, or most important, believing that you have a place in Hollywood when you're constantly reminded that no one looks like you. In "How to Look Spectacular: A Starlet's Confessions," Kaling gives her tongue-in-cheek secrets for surefire on-camera beauty, ("Your natural hair color may be appropriate for your skin tone, but this isn't the land of appropriate-this is Hollywood, baby. Out here, a dark-skinned woman's traditional hair color is honey blonde.") "Player" tells the story of Kaling being seduced and dumped by a female friend in L.A. ("I had been replaced by a younger model. And now they had matching bangs.") In "Unlikely Leading Lady," she muses on America's fixation with the weight of actresses, ("Most women we see onscreen are either so thin that they're walking clavicles or so huge that their only scenes involve them breaking furniture.") And in "Soup Snakes," Kaling spills some secrets on her relationship with her ex-boyfriend and close friend, B.J. Novak ("I will freely admit: my relationship with B.J. Novak is weird as hell.") Mindy turns the anxieties, the glamour, and the celebrations of her second coming-of-age into a laugh-out-loud funny collection of essays that anyone who's ever been at a turning point in their life or career can relate to. And those who've never been at a turning point can skip to the parts where she talks about meeting Bradley Cooper.
Why Pick on Me?
by Louis Sachar Barbara SullivanIllus. in black-and-white. Marvin is shunned by his classmates, best friends, and teacher after he is unfairly fingered as a nose-picker by the class bully.From the Trade Paperback edition.
Why Shoot the Teacher
by Max BraithwaiteThe book that inspired the classic film, Why Shoot the Teacher tells the story of a young man’s first collision with reality – an ill-paid teaching assignment in an isolated country school, in the prairies, during the Depression. The young man is, of course, Max Braithwaite, and the story he has to tell is riotous, grim, candid, and infinitely entertaining. While it is perhaps Braithwaite’s best-loved book, it is also a vivid evocation of the desolation wrought by the “Dirty Thirties” on the Saskatchewan Prairies, the ordeal of youth among a people bereft of pity and charity, and the human compassion that adds warmth and poignancy to the author’s recollections.
Why the Chicken Crossed the Road
by David MacaulayA rollicking investigation of cause and effect by the Caldecott medalist. The tale of the chicken and Desperate Dan, a bandit, told in beautiful full-color pictures and leavened by the trademark wit of David Macaulay.
Why the Long Joke?
by James ThomasThis is a very silly book. If that's not your thing, then at least buy it for a wayward niece. Inside, you'll find thousands of ideas: dozens of stories, poems, diagrams, lists and cartoons, along with hundreds of jokes and approximations thereof. Is this the funniest book ever published? Well, that's very nice of you to suggest, but at least read it first. James Thomas, what wrote the book, is the elected President of Twitter. But don't let that put you off. He works hard at this nonsense, and has several other irons (books) in the fire (not literally). Why The Long Joke? is the consequence of several years of throwing away Brilliant Material in favor of Ultimate Stupidity. A difficult process, but as you'll see, the results speak for themselves.Inside you'll find countless nuggets of comedy bronze, including "How to Write a Sentence"; "Edgar Allan Poe Goes to a Music Festival"; and "The Three Letters from Saint Paul to the Venusians." Do not, also, miss the author's original illustrations, such as "Dinosaurs of the Future" and "How to Tell If You're Dead"--they're exactly as useful as they sound.
Why Unicorn Drinks
by C. W. MossUnicorns are just like us. They have problems, stresses, and like to blow off some steam. Author and illustrator C. W. Moss explores the inner psyche of the single-horned in Why Unicorn Drinks.A follow-up to Unicorn Being a Jerk, this volume of 67 four-color illustrations and captions gives readers a glimpse into the sad reality of life as a mythical creature, and reveals what drives Unicorn to the bottle.As fans of Moss' online comic undoubtedly know, Why Unicorn Drinks pours a double-shot of laughter and irreverence. You'll never look at a unicorn the same way again.
Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches
by Denis LearyFrom the author of the bestselling Why We Suck comes a searing comic look at these divisive times, skewering liberals and conservatives alike with a signature dose of sarcasm and common sense.In an America so gluten-free that a box of jelly donuts is now a bigger threat than Vladimir Putin, where college kids are more afraid of Ann Coulter than HIV, it’s time for someone to stand up and make us all smell the covfefe. Dr. Denis Leary is that guy. With Why We DON’T Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches, Denis is on a devoted mission to #MakeAmericaLaughAgain. Using the clamorous political atmosphere as a starting point, he takes a bipartisan look at the topics we all hold so dear to our patriotic hearts—including family, freedom, and the seemingly endless search for fame and diet vodka. Denis will answer important questions like: When will Hillary blame herself? Why does Beyoncé think he’s Bryan Adams? And why doesn’t he follow the millennial lead and post pictures of his food on social media? (Spoiler alert: He’s too busy actually eating it.) Not that Denis has anything against millennials: “When it comes to science, math, and technological advances, this generation has done more in three and a half decades than any other age group in history. What did my generation do? Cocaine and quaaludes mostly. With a side order of really stupid haircuts.” Dr. Leary is here to remind us of what truly makes America great, even though we’re #7 on the most recent list of Best Countries to Live In. Which may sound bad but means we still make the playoffs.
Why We Love Die Hard
by Kim Taylor-FosterRediscover all the reasons you love Die Hard with this essential illustrated guide to the making of and impact of this quintessential action (and Christmas) flick!Fully loaded with John McClane sarcasm, Alan Rickman as a German terrorist, and Nakatomi Plaza blowing up on Christmas Eve, Die Hard is often cited as the film that took action blockbusters to the next level, but what has earned the film its fiercely devoted fan base? That's the question that Why We Love Die Hard seeks to answer. This is the first and only guide that combines entertaining information about the history and making of the film with a celebratory look at all the different aspects that have helped solidify Die Hard as a must-see film. A Die Hard lover's dream, this guide includes punchy illustrations paired alongside essays exploring the film's history, characters, unique film techniques, and the thematic elements that have helped this film become the beloved classic it is today.
Why We Love The Matrix
by Kim Taylor-FosterRediscover all the reasons you love The Matrix with this unique guide to the cult 90s sci-fi classic, filled with trivia, essays, and behind the scenes looks at characters, production, and so much more. Whether you saw the movie in theaters in 1999 or watched it for the first time at home, there is no denying that The Matrix has had an immense impact on pop culture. A "must-see" of the science fiction genre and Why We Love The Matrix is the first and only guide that combines entertaining information about the history and making of the film with a celebratory look at all the different aspects that have helped solidify this as a beloved favorite of sci-fi fans.Offering entertaining essays about the key features that have helped the film become the classic it is today—like the origins of the plot and characters, film techniques, and the philosophy behind the story—plus quotes, sidebars, and eye-catching two-color illustrations throughout, Why We Love The Matrix is a great gift for both casual and more serious fans of the movie and, let's face it, Keanu Reeves.
Why We Need Water (Pictureback(R))
by Cynthia Ines MangualAn all-new storybook, with over 30 stickers, Based on Netflix's Waffles + Mochi, which is prodcued by President Barack and Michelle Obama&’s production company, Higher Ground! Before Waffles and Mochi can make a special meal for their friends, they need to learn about a very important ingredient—water. Follow them around the world as they learn how necessary water is and the different ways it can be used. Children ages 3 to 7 who love Netflix's new show about friendship and fun-filled eating will enjoy this full-color storybook that includes over 30 stickers. Join Waffles and Mochi for global adventures that reveal the stories behind our food. Produced by President Barack and Michelle Obama&’s Higher Ground and streaming on Netflix, Waffles + Mochi is an entertaining mix of puppetry, animation, celebrity chefs, and famous guest stars. This delightful new show introduces young children and their families to a world of cooking and fearless eating.
Why We Read: On Bookworms, Libraries, and Just One More Page Before Lights Out
by Shannon Reed*NATIONAL BESTSELLER**A Good Housekeeping Reads pick*A hilarious and incisive exploration of the joys of reading from a "beloved and wonderful writer" (George Saunders), teacher, bibliophile, and Thurber Prize SemifinalistWe read to escape, to learn, to find love, to feel seen. We read to encounter new worlds, to discover new recipes, to find connection across difference, or simply to pass a rainy afternoon. No matter the reason, books have the power to keep us safe, to challenge us, and perhaps most importantly, to make us more fully human.Shannon Reed, a longtime teacher, lifelong reader, and New Yorker contributor, gets it. With one simple goal in mind, she makes the case that we should read for pleasure above all else. In this whip-smart, laugh-out-loud-funny collection, Reed shares surprising stories from her life as a reader and the poignant ways in which books have impacted her students. From the varied novels she cherishes (Gone Girl, Their Eyes Were Watching God) to the ones she didn&’t (Tess of the d&’Urbervilles), Reed takes us on a rollicking tour through the comforting world of literature, celebrating the books we love, the readers who love them, and the ways in which literature can transform us for the better.
Why We Suck: A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid
by Denis LearyOne of America’s most original and biting comic satirists, Denis Leary takes on all the poseurs, politicians, and pop culture icons who have sucked in public for far too long. Sparing no one, Leary zeroes in on the ridiculous wherever he finds it—his Irish Catholic upbringing, the folly of celebrity, the pressures of family life, and the great hypocrisy of politics—with the same bright, savage, and profane insight he brought to his critically acclaimed one-man shows No Cure for Cancer Lock ’n Load.<P> Proudly Irish-American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are both penetrating social commentary with no holds barred and laugh-out-loud funny. As always, Leary’s impassioned comic perspective in Why We Suck is right on target.<P> Leary is the star and co-creator of the Emmy-nominated television show Rescue Me.
Why We'll Never Understand Each Other: A Non-Sequitur Look at Relationships (Non Sequitur #4)
by Wiley MillerThe only cartoon to win top awards in both the comic strip and comic panel categories from the National Cartoonists Society, Non Sequitur is also the only one to win in its first year of syndication. Non Sequitur has been entertaining fans for more than a decade, with its Twilight Zone of cartoon moments. Day after day, Non Sequitur hilariously jabs at the feats and foibles of life, skewering everyone from politicians to teenagers. Wiley's irreverent, satirical wit, combined with his superbly crafted illustrations, confirms that the universe is one big joke at humanity's expense. That said, some of Non Sequitur's most popular panels have been the ones where Wiley has offered his takes on "What he heard/what she said." In strip after strip, the cartoonist succinctly captures the absurd and unexpected miscommunications that lie at the heart of every relationship. For example:* What he heard: "Let's go drain the life force from your body." What she said: "Let's go shopping."* What he heard: "Honey, why don't you put your head in a vise and I'll turn the handle until your skull explodes." What she said: "Honey, why don't we turn off the TV and just talk."* What she heard: "Life as we know it will cease to exist unless you can alter the space-time continuum." What he said: "Honey, are you almost ready yet?"Everyone who's ever tried talking to anyone about anything will find Why We'll Never Understand Each Other to be the perfect way to laugh about it all, and maybe-or maybe not-try again.
Why Won't You Sleep?!
by Adam WallaceFrom New York Times bestselling author Adam Wallace comes a side-splitting, hair-pulling bedtime story about the familiar struggles when you just can't sleep!Can't sleep? It can be hard to nod off sometimes. But don't worry, we know just the thing to make you tired... What, still awake? WHY WON'T YOU SLEEP?A hilarious story from bestselling How to Catch A series author Adam Wallace and bold, comical illustrations by Carla Martell perfectly capture the narrator's good intentions and mounting frustration as they try to get the reader to go to sleep! With plenty of gags and a funny twist at the end, this is sure to make the whole family giggle!
Why Would Anyone Want to Swing a Cat?: And 499 Other Questions...
by Andy SimpsonWhy is bureaucracy known as red, not yellow or blue tape?What is haywire and why do we go it?Why is a yawn infection?Who was Parker and why is he so Nosy?These are just some of the burning issues that have been exercising the minds of Daily Mail readers in recent years, and 1001 of the most entertaining have been reproduced in this bumper collection.Not all of the questions featured will have been nagging away at you for years - the scrap metal value of the Eiffel Tower, for example; and some of the answers throw up intriguing alternatives (does the expression "peg out" have its origins in the game of cribbage or in grave digging practices?); but for those who are inveterate devourers of trivia teasers and fascinating facts, The Daily Mail's Answers to Correspondents is a veritable feast.
Why Would Anyone Want to Swing a Cat?: ... and 499 other questions
by Andy SimpsonWhy is bureaucracy known as red, not yellow or blue tape?What is haywire and why do we go it?Why is a yawn infection?Who was Parker and why is he so Nosy?These are just some of the burning issues that have been exercising the minds of Daily Mail readers in recent years, and 1001 of the most entertaining have been reproduced in this bumper collection.Not all of the questions featured will have been nagging away at you for years - the scrap metal value of the Eiffel Tower, for example; and some of the answers throw up intriguing alternatives (does the expression "peg out" have its origins in the game of cribbage or in grave digging practices?); but for those who are inveterate devourers of trivia teasers and fascinating facts, The Daily Mail's Answers to Correspondents is a veritable feast.
Why You Crying?
by George Lopez Armen KeteyianIn this eagerly awaited autobiography, comedian and prime-time television star George Lopez tells the heartbreaking yet humorous story of his inspirational rise from dead-end kid in the Valley to giving a command performance before the president of the United States. It is a rare story that touches us so deeply with its humor, sadness, and powerful message that it transcends the walls of race, culture, and class that divide us. Why You Crying? is just such a story. Abandoned by his migrant-worker father at the tender age of two months, deserted by a wild, mixed-up mother at the age of ten years, Lopez grew up angry, alone, teased, and tormented in California's San Fernando Valley, raised by grandparents who viewed love as a four-letter word. Inspired by his idols, Freddie Prinze Sr. and Richard Pryor, Lopez sets out on a tumultuous twenty-year journey into the manic world of stand-up comedy -- trying to learn a skill nobody can teach; scoring one night and bombing the next; fighting anger, alcohol, depression, and doubt all while battling the barriers built to keep Chicanos from breaking through, especially on network TV. Today, the George Lopez show is a prime-time hit on ABC and his sold-out stand-up performances attract thousands of fans of all ages, each drawn to the sidesplitting riffs mined from a life so sad it had to be funny. Why You Crying? takes an outsider from the San Fernando Valley to Warner Bros. studios to inside the Emmys to plush Pebble Beach and all the way to the halls of Harvard. Along the way it's pure G. Lo -- raw, real, and, ultimately, uplifting.