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Ultimate Book of Jokes: The Essential Collection of More Than 1,500 Jokes
by Scott McNeelyWhether you re making a toast at a wedding, trying to break the ice at a party, or just want to make your boss giggle, the Ultimate Book of Jokes is the first and last resource you'll ever need. From road-crossing chickens and classic knock knock jokes to the naughty, nice, and totally soused, no subject goes unmocked in this collection of over 1,500 jokes, packaged in a deluxe embossed board cover with 2-color line art throughout. Scott McNeeley, author of Ultimate Book of Card Games, mined decades worth of jokes to find chuckle-inducing punch lines for joke lovers of all stripes from yo mamma aficionados to naughty limerick connoisseurs.
The Ultimate Book of Top Ten Lists: A Mind-Boggling Collection of Fun, Fascinating and Bizarre Facts on Movies, Music, Sports, Crime, Celebrities, History, Trivia and More
by Jami FraterA collection of obscure facts, impressive achievements, despicable crimes, bizarre records, unforgettable films and more from the authors of listverse.com.Discover bizarre facts, amazing trivia, astonishing mysteries, natural wonders, little-known people, useful tips and much more in this mammoth bathroom reader. From crime, movies and music to science, history and literature, this book offers an incredible array of intriguing top-ten lists, including:• Urban Legends—Debunked• Influential People Who Never Lived• Ancient Methods of Execution• Poisonous Foods We Love to Eat• Inventions of the Middle Ages• Gruesome Fairytale Origins• Secret Societies• Amazing Film Swordfights• Bizarre Animal Mating Rituals• Misconceptions About Evolution• Tips for Frugal Living• Fascinating Graveyards You Must See
The Ultimate Book of Useless Information
by Noel BothamBigger, better, and more useless than ever! In their groundbreakingly useless book, The Book of Useless Information, the members of the Useless Information Society proved that knowledge doesn't have to be useful to be entertaining. Now they present a new collection of their most fascinating, hilarious, and wholly trivial findings. The Ultimate Book of Useless Information includes such "did you knows" as: - Peanuts are one of the ingredients in dynamite - The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing - And giraffes have no vocal cords
The Ultimate Book of Zombie Warfare and Survival: A Combat Guide to the Walking Dead
by Scott KenemoreThe Gory Guide to the Walking DeadWhile most people know what zombies look like, do they actually know how they act? What they do during their spare time? What their work ethic is? Probably not.Enter The Ultimate Book of Zombie Warfare and Survival. From bestselling zombie author Scott Kenemore, learn all the tricks to the living dead trade. Whether you’re fighting the zombies or are a zombie yourself, this collection is all that you need to survive on your own.Included in this book are excerpts and illustrations from such helpful handbooks as:The Code of the Zombie PirateThe Art of Zombie WarfareZ.E.O.The Zen of ZombieZombies vs. NazisThe Ultimate Book of Zombie Warfare and Survival is a one-stop shop for everything you’ve ever wanted to know about the world of zombies. Whether you’re the undead seeking to make it in the business industry, fine-tune your martial arts, master your swashbuckling, or move on up the corporate ladder, this compendium is just for you.With gory full-color illustrations and insightful knowledge from the man who knows zombies better than they know themselves, The Ultimate Book of Zombie Warfare and Survival will scare, teach, and prepare you for everything you’ve ever needed to know about zombies.Skyhorse Publishing, under our Night Shade and Talos imprints, is proud to publish a broad range of titles for readers interested in science fiction (space opera, time travel, hard SF, alien invasion, near-future dystopia), fantasy (grimdark, sword and sorcery, contemporary urban fantasy, steampunk, alternative history), and horror (zombies, vampires, and the occult and supernatural), and much more. While not every title we publish becomes a New York Times bestseller, a national bestseller, or a Hugo or Nebula award-winner, we are committed to publishing quality books from a diverse group of authors.
The Ultimate Cockney Geezer's Guide to Rhyming Slang
by Geoff TibballsWould you Adam and Eve it? Over a hundred years after it was first heard on the streets of Ye Olde London Towne, Cockney rhyming slang is still going strong, and this book contains the most comprehensive and entertaining guide yet.Presented in an easy-to-read A to Z format, it explains the meaning of hundreds of terms, from old favourites such as apples and pears (stairs) and plates of meat (feet) to the more obscure band of hope (soap) and cuts and scratches (matches) through to modern classics such as Anthea Turner (earner) and Ashley Cole (own goal), as well as providing fascinating background info and curious Cockney facts throughout. Also included are a series of language tests so that readers can brush up on their newfound knowledge on their way to becoming a true Cockney Geezer.All in all, The Ultimate Cockney Geezer's Guide to Rhyming Slang is well worth your bread and honey to have a butcher's.
Ultimate Dad Stuff
by Steve Caplin Simon RoseChildren expect the earth from their fathers. They have to be able to conjure up games from thin air, to answer every question under the sun, to skim stones, and tell bedtime stories. ULTIMATE DAD STUFF is the book every father needs to keep up with their kids. Bringing together two separates volumes, it is the one stop shop for games, useful knowledge, puzzles and activities. ULTIMATE DAD STUFF is packed with great things to do with the kids. Some new, some traditional: how to learn to ride a bike without tears; how to play the spoons; a rainy afternoon's supply of knock knock jokes; a selection of magic tricks and how to answer 'Dad, where do babies come from?' There is a range of ideas to suit all situations -- games, puzzles, practical jokes and spooky urban myths. A father's work is never done and ULTIMATE DAD STUFF supplies even more fun, with magic, puzzles, things to make and games to play. All guaranteed to stave off the cry of 'Dad, are we there yet?'
The Ultimate Discworld Companion
by Terry Pratchett Stephen BriggsThe absolute, comprehensive, from Tiffany Aching to Jack Zweiblumen guide to all things Discworld, fully illustrated by Paul Kidby.The Discworld, as everyone knows, is a flat world balanced on the back of four elephants which, in turn, stand on the shell of the giant star turtle, the Great A'Tuin, as it slowly swims through space.It is also the global publishing phenomenon with sales of over 70 million books worldwide (but who's counting?). There's an awful lot of Discworld to keep track of. But fear not! Help is at hand. For the very first time, everything (and we mean everything) you could possibly want to know has been crammed into one place.If you need a handy guide to locales from Ankh-Morpork to Zemphis . . .If you can't tell your Achmed the Mads from your Jack Zweiblumens . . .If your life depends on distinguishing between the Agatean Empire and the Zoons . . .Look no further. Updated and perfected by Stephen Briggs, the man behind The Ultimate Discworld Companion's predecessor Turtle Recall, this is your ultimate guide to Sir Terry Pratchett's beloved fantasy world.
The Ultimate Discworld Companion
by Terry Pratchett Stephen BriggsThe absolute, comprehensive, from Tiffany Aching to Jack Zweiblumen guide to all things Discworld, fully illustrated by Paul Kidby.The Discworld, as everyone knows, is a flat world balanced on the back of four elephants which, in turn, stand on the shell of the giant star turtle, the Great A'Tuin, as it slowly swims through space.It is also the global publishing phenomenon with sales of over 70 million books worldwide (but who's counting?). There's an awful lot of Discworld to keep track of. But fear not! Help is at hand. For the very first time, everything (and we mean everything) you could possibly want to know has been crammed into one place.If you need a handy guide to locales from Ankh-Morpork to Zemphis . . .If you can't tell your Achmed the Mads from your Jack Zweiblumens . . .If your life depends on distinguishing between the Agatean Empire and the Zoons . . .Look no further. Updated and perfected by Stephen Briggs, the man behind The Ultimate Discworld Companion's predecessor Turtle Recall, this is your ultimate guide to Sir Terry Pratchett's beloved fantasy world.
The Ultimate Game Guide To Your Life: Or, The Video Game As Existential Metaphor
by Christopher MonksFor anyone who has ever felt like life is like a video game comes this faux game guide for a fictional adventure video game titled ''Your Life.''Fans of videogames or anyone who has ever held a controller will love this romp through life's challenges from the formative Toddler Years all the way to the Retirement Home. Complete with navigation, instructions for which buttons to press on your gamepad, and secret codes for success, you'll find out all the tricks to win such challenges as ''Navigating the School Cafeteria on the First Day of High School'' and ''Temp Job Derby.'' Plus you'll learn the important skill of fending off giant robots. Gamepad not included.
The Ultimate George W. Bushisms: Bush at War (with the English Language)
by Jacob Weisberg"This business about graceful exit just simply has no realism to it at all." As the end of the Bush era approaches, the legacy is clear: George W. Bush is a wartime president. His enemy, battered but not defeated after repeated surges: the English language. The ultimate edition of George W. Bushisms captures this legacy -- from the Gulf Coast to Iraq and back -- with all-new pearls of wisdom and the twenty-five greatest hits of the entire presidency. "You know, when I campaigned here in 2000, I said, I want to be a war president. No president wants to be a war president, but I am one." "I think -- tide turning -- see, as I remember -- I was raised in the desert, but tides kind of -- it's easy to see a tide turn -- did I say those words?"
The Ultimate Gross Challenge: A Battle of Yucky Choices
by Jimmy NiroThe grossest, goofiest, gut-busting game book ever!Battle your friends and family in a wacky game too silly for real life and get ready to laugh out loud! In this epic gross championship, read aloud hundreds of the funniest and most disgusting questions and earn points deciding which hilariously nasty scenarios you would rather choose. It's the perfect game book for endless hours of fun for kids age 8 to 12 and kids at heart! Are YOU ready for The Ultimate Gross Challenge?Bringing lots of non-stop giggles, this gross humor book for kids is perfect for:Gifts for boys and girls: A laugh-out-loud gift for birthdays, holiday stocking stuffers, Easter baskets, and moreScreen-free time: Non-stop entertainment for family game nights, parties, road trips, and sleepoversReluctant young readers: Funny content engages the imaginations of reluctant and beginner readers, helping them gain confidence and build vocabulary and reading comprehensionCould you drink a glass of water from a dirty fish tank, or would you lick the liquid leaking from a garbage can?Could you sleep on a pillow made of eyeballs, or would you snuggle up in a blanket full of fish guts?Could you eat baby snakes as pasta, or would you eat dish sponges as sandwich bread
The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Five Novels in One Outrageous Volume (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy #1 - 5)
by Douglas Adams<p>At last in paperback in one complete volume, here are the five classic novels from Douglas Adams’s beloved <i>Hitchiker</i> series. <p><i>The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy</i>. Seconds before the Earth is demolished for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is saved by Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised Guide. Together they stick out their thumbs to the stars and begin a wild journey through time and space. <p><i>The Restaurant at the End of the Universe</i>. Facing annihilation at the hands of warmongers is a curious time to crave tea. It could only happen to the cosmically displaced Arthur Dent and his comrades as they hurtle across the galaxy in a desperate search for a place to eat. <p><i>Life, the Universe and Everything</i>. The unhappy inhabitants of planet Krikkit are sick of looking at the night sky– so they plan to destroy it. The universe, that is. Now only five individuals can avert Armageddon: mild-mannered Arthur Dent and his stalwart crew. <p><i>So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish</i>. Back on Earth, Arthur Dent is ready to believe that the past eight years were all just a figment of his stressed-out imagination. But a gift-wrapped fishbowl with a cryptic inscription conspires to thrust him back to reality. So to speak. <p><i>Mostly Harmless</i>. Just when Arthur Dent makes the terrible mistake of starting to enjoy life, all hell breaks loose. Can he save the Earth from total obliteration? Can he save the Guide from a hostile alien takeover? Can he save his daughter from herself?
The Ultimate Joke Challenge: Battle the Whole Family with These Silly Jokes!
by Jimmy NiroThe Ultimate Joke Challenge is all fun and games...until somebody gets a bad case of the giggles!In this epic showdown, players compete in multi-level rounds with lots of hilarious jokes, silly tongue twisters, bonus activities, and more, to answer the ultimate question: who will get the most laughs? Chock full of hundreds of rib-tickling jokes for kids ages 8 to 12 and the whole family, this clean game book perfect for reluctant young readers is sure to be a knockout for entertaining game nights, road trips, sleepovers, and beyond! Just try not to laugh!Makes the perfect silly kids jokes book gift for boys and girls for birthdays, holiday stocking stuffers, Easter baskets, and more! On your mark, get set...start joking!Features include:8 joke rounds, plusA fill-in-the-blank joke roundTongue-twister roundShout challenge roundMumble challenge roundCharades roundTotal knockout tiebreaker round
Ultimate Kids Joke Book
by Joke Books for KidsWhat do you call an apple with gas? A tooty fruity! Which day of the week do chickens hate most? Fry-day! Are you ready for a gut-busting good time? Give the gift of laughter with The Ultimate Kids Joke Book. Over 300 clean jokes will have you rolling on the floor laughing with family and friends of all ages!
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
by Mae B FiredMaking life in cubicle land a bit more fun, this book is a clever and amusing list of practical jokes--a list that will challenge even seasoned saboteurs to take risks and reap the awkward rewards. Whether it's filling the vending machine with a coworker's desk supplies, attaching fishing wire to phones and keyboards, or putting Jello in the toilets, pranks have been an office staple since the first cubicle was born. Split into chapters labeled Entry-Level, Middle Management, and Executive, jokesters are entertained with 200+ increasingly dangerous pranks. Complete with Tips for Talking Your Way Out of Anything and a list of important phone numbers, including the fire and police departments and the American Bar Association, this book is the perfect humorous gift for a friend, family member, or coworker!
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
by Mae B FiredMaking life in cubicle land a bit more fun, this book is a clever and amusing list of practical jokesùa list that will challenge even seasoned saboteurs to take risks and reap the awkward rewards. Whether itÆs filling the vending machine with a coworkerÆs desk supplies, attaching fishing wire to phones and keyboards, or putting Jello in the toilets, pranks have been an office staple since the first cubicle was born. Split into chapters labeled Entry-Level, Middle Management, and Executive, jokesters are entertained with 200+ increasingly dangerous pranks. Complete with Tips for Talking Your Way Out of Anything and a list of important phone numbers, including the fire and police departments and the American Bar Association, this book is the perfect humorous gift for a friend, family member, or coworker!
The Ultimate Office Prank Book
by Mae B. FiredMaking life in cubicle land a bit more fun, this book is a clever and amusing list of practical jokes'a list that will challenge even seasoned saboteurs to take risks and reap the awkward rewards. Whether it's filling the vending machine with a coworker's desk supplies, attaching fishing wire to phones and keyboards, or putting Jello in the toilets, pranks have been an office staple since the first cubicle was born. Split into chapters labeled Entry-Level, Middle Management, and Executive, jokesters are entertained with 200+ increasingly dangerous pranks. Complete with Tips for Talking Your Way Out of Anything and a list of important phone numbers, including the fire and police departments and the American Bar Association, this book is the perfect humorous gift for a friend, family member, or coworker!
The Ultimate Revenge (The\21st Century Gentleman's Club Ser. #3)
by Victoria Parker"I will annihilate your world. As you destroyed mine." For over a decade Nicandro Santos, heir to a legendary diamond legacy, has lived with one unrelenting purpose: to infiltrate the ultraprestigious Q Virtus gentleman's club and bring it, and its leader, Zeus, down. What he doesn't know is that Olympia Merisi, the daughter of his enemy, is now in charge. Olympia has her own reasons for wanting to keep Nicandro close, and she will stop at nothing to protect what's hers. But what happens when the battle lines between them blur and they enter more dangerous-sensual-territory?
The Ultimate Riddle Game for Kids: A Mind-Bending Book to Test Your Logic
by noneThe ultimate way for kids 9 to 12 to test their logic, unlock their creativity, and improve their lateral thinking skills!Full of mind-bending riddles, challenging brainteasers, math-based questions, and tricky wordplay, The Ultimate Riddle Game for Kids is designed to stimulate your child&’s imagination and improve their problem-solving skills. Irresistibly fun and stealthily educational, this book provides hours of brain-stimulating fun for 9-to-12-year-old kids who love a challenge. An exciting game for competitive kids. Whether your child is playing solo or with a friend, they&’ll head-scratch and laugh their way through these tricky riddles, while competing to get as many correct answers as possible. Quality family time away from screens. Age-appropriate riddles to stump each other around the dinner table, in the car, or any place you share quality time. Build confidence and resilience. The real game &“winner&” is the child who learns to work through tough problems as they gain confidence to try, fail, and pick back up again. Level up the challenge. The riddles in this book progress in difficulty and are organized into three chapters: 1. Quick Hitters: One-to-two-sentence riddles that require lateral thinking and often use wordplay. 2. Math Monsters: Revolving around numbers, some of these riddles involve actual calculations or logical deductions, while others center on wordplay or simply require a new way of thinking about how numbers can relate to each other. 3. Sneaky Stories: Each riddle tells a story and will require more time for kids to think about and work out the problem.
Ultimate Rocket Blast: Book 5 (Planet Omar #5)
by Zanib MianWelcome back to Planet Omar! The fifth book in Zanib Mian's laugh-out-loud series, with amazing cartoon-style illustrations. Perfect for fans of Tom Gates and Wimpy Kid.Omar and his friends are taking part in a national rocket building competition. With a little help from Omar's scientist mum and dad and some fart power too, they come up with a rocket that's ready to blast off.But when someone starts sabotaging the rockets, the boys find themselves on a new mission to reveal the culprit...*Zanib Mian is a World Book Day author for 2021 with her Planet Omar title, Operation Kind.*Have you read the first book in the series, Accidental Trouble Magnet? Love Reading 4 Kids called it 'irresistible reading!'
Ultimate Rocket Blast: Book 5 (Planet Omar #5)
by Zanib MianWelcome back to Planet Omar! The fifth audiobook in Zanib Mian's laugh-out-loud series, perfect for fans of Tom Gates and Wimpy Kid.Omar and his friends are taking part in a national rocket building competition. With a little help from Omar's scientist mum and dad and some fart power too, they come up with a rocket that's ready to blast off.But when someone starts sabotaging the rockets, the boys find themselves on a new mission to reveal the culprit...*Zanib Mian is a World Book Day author for 2021 with her Planet Omar title, Operation Kind.*Have you listened to the first audiobook in the series, Accidental Trouble Magnet? Love Reading 4 Kids called it 'irresistible reading!'(P) 2023 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
The Ultimate Surrender (The Perfect Family)
by Penny JordanPolly had always been grateful that when she was in need, Marcus Frobisher had offered her a home, a job and himself as a stand-in father to her baby daughter.As the years passed, Marcus let Polly think he acted only out of a sense of family duty. However, the truth was, he'd wanted her since the first moment they'd met. Now, though, it was time to persuade her to surrender to the passion that had been denied for so long!
The Ultimate Survival Guide to Being a Girl: On Love, Body Image, School, and Making It Through Life
by Christina De WitteAddressing the struggles of young girls everywhere, this hilariously relatable comic guide to life provides real advice and encourages a new generation of teen girls to find confidence and embrace individuality.With friends, love, social media, body image, and more--navigating young adulthood can seem impossible. The Ultimate Survival Guide to Being a Girl provides humorous and highly relatable guidelines for all of the struggles young girls face, presented in author Christina De Witte's signature comic style and told from the point of view of her lovable Instagram and Internet character, Chrostin. A Hyperbole and a Half for the young adult audience, the book includes comics and hands-on advice about serious issues like mental health and self-care, and also deals with questions on every young girl's mind, like "Can you survive on pizza alone?" Quirky, hilarious, and sincere, The Ultimate Survival Guide to Being a Girl empowers young women to challenge society's unrealistic standards of beauty and embrace their individuality. This is sure to be a favorite for teen girls. Table of Contents Chapter One: Mental Stuff Chapter Two: The Beauty of the Human Booty Chapter Three: On Food Comas and Food Babies Chapter Four: Fashion No-No or Fashion Guru? Chapter Five: Friends and Family Business Chapter Six: Love Is Beautiful/Sucks Chapter Seven: School and Work, Work, Work, Work, Work Chapter Eight: The Internet of Things Chapter Nine: Society vs. Me Chapter Ten: United in Diversity
The Ultimate Unofficial Coronation Street Quiz
by Ed CobhamSo you think you're one of Corrie's biggest fans? Test your knowledge with this trivia quiz book. What faulty household item caused the death of Valerie Barlow in 1971? Who died after being run over by a Blackpool tram in 1989? If you’re more at home in The Rovers than anywhere else, these brain-teasing questions will be right up your street!
The Ultimate Unofficial Coronation Street Quiz
by Ed CobhamSo you think you're one of Corrie's biggest fans? Test your knowledge with this trivia quiz book. What faulty household item caused the death of Valerie Barlow in 1971? Who died after being run over by a Blackpool tram in 1989? If you’re more at home in The Rovers than anywhere else, these brain-teasing questions will be right up your street!