- Table View
- List View
The Worst Gig
by Jon Niccum"WORST GIG is Music Appreciation 225, taught by that cool professor everyone wanted to have beers with after class. One fun nugget after another. It was harder to close than my Twitter app."--Matthew James, McSweeney's "Tawdry tales of concert catastrophes!"--Buzzfeed "Musicians' 'Worst Gig' makes for best read ever."--Salon What is the worst show you've ever played? Sometimes the worst shows inspire the best stories. After hundreds of interviews with national headliners and beloved indie acts alike, entertainment journalist Jon Niccum has crafted a collection that chronicles the most embarrassing, most hilarious and most insane live show moments ever. THE WORST GIG features outrageous stories from stars such as Wilco, Def Leppard, Tenacious D, Rush, John Mayer, and The Sex Pistols. Be it nature's wrath, equipment breakdowns or even military intervention, get the wild scoop on what really happened, straight from the artists themselves.
The Worst Girlfriend in the World
by Sarra ManningAlice Jenkins is the worst girlfriend in the world according to the many, many boys who've shimmied up lampposts and shoplifted from New Look to impress her, only to be dumped when she gets bored of them. Alice has a very low boredom threshold. But she never gets bored with Franny, her best friend since they met at nursery school. Friends are for ever. Ain't nothing going to come between them. Girls rule, boys drool is their motto. Well, it's Alice's motto, Franny doesn't have much time for boys; they're all totes immature and only interested in one thing. But then there's Louis Allen, lead singer of Thee Desperadoes, the best band in Merrycliffe-on-sea (though that could be because they're the only band in Merrycliffe-on-sea). He's a tousle-haired, skinny-jeaned, sultry-eyed manchild, the closest thing that Franny's ever seen to the hipsters that she's read about on the internet and she's been crushing on him HARD for the last three years. She's never worked up the courage to actually speak to him but she's sure on some deeper level that goes beyond mere words, Louis absolutely knows that she's his soulmate. He just doesn't know that he knows it yet. It's why he cops off with so many other girls. So, when Alice, bored with callow youths, sets her sights on Louis it threatens to tear the girls' friendship apart, even though they're better than fighting over a boy. They strike a devil's deal - may the best girl win. Best friends become bitter rivals and everything comes to an explosive conclusion on their first trip to London. Can true friendship conquer all?
The Worst Girlfriend in the World
by Sarra ManningAlice Jenkins is the worst girlfriend in the world according to the many, many boys who've shimmied up lampposts and shoplifted from New Look to impress her, only to be dumped when she gets bored of them. Alice has a very low boredom threshold.But she never gets bored with Franny, her best friend since they met at nursery school. Friends are for ever. Ain't nothing going to come between them. Girls rule, boys drool is their motto. Well, it's Alice's motto, Franny doesn't have much time for boys; they're all totes immature and only interested in one thing.But then there's Louis Allen, lead singer of Thee Desperadoes, the best band in Merrycliffe-on-sea (though that could be because they're the only band in Merrycliffe-on-sea). He's a tousle-haired, skinny-jeaned, sultry-eyed manchild, the closest thing that Franny's ever seen to the hipsters that she's read about on the internet and she's been crushing on him HARD for the last three years.She's never worked up the courage to actually speak to him but she's sure on some deeper level that goes beyond mere words, Louis absolutely knows that she's his soulmate. He just doesn't know that he knows it yet. It's why he cops off with so many other girls.So, when Alice, bored with callow youths, sets her sights on Louis it threatens to tear the girls' friendship apart, even though they're better than fighting over a boy. They strike a devil's deal - may the best girl win. Best friends become bitter rivals and everything comes to an explosive conclusion on their first trip to London.Can true friendship conquer all?
The Worst Mascot Ever (The Big Idea Gang)
by James PrellerFour friends put their heads together to convince their school to get a new mascot in The Big Idea Gang—an exciting new chapter book series about making a case . . . and making a difference! Quick-thinking third-graders Lizzy, her twin, Connor, and their friends Kym and Deon have a big idea: their school desperately needs a new mascot, and they've got the perfect one in mind. Now they have to figure out a way to convince their principal and rally the rest of the school behind them. Luckily, their teacher, Miss Zips (short for Zipsokowski—but who can say that?) is skilled in the art of persuasion. Armed with Miss Zips's persuasive tips, the gang of four set out to make their claim, build a case for a new mascot, and convince Clay Elementary that Arnold the Armadillo has had his day.
The Worst Night Ever (Class Trip #2)
by Dave BarryLast year, Wyatt Palmer was the hero of middle school, having foiled a plot against the president of the United States. But now he and his friends are in Coral Cove High School -- home of the Fighting Conchs -- and Wyatt is no longer a hero: He's just another undersized freshman, hoping to fit in, or at least not be unpopular. Things start to go wrong when Matt Diaz, who is Wyatt's best friend but also unfortunately an idiot, decides to bring his pet ferret, Frank, to school. Through an unfortunate series of events Frank ends up in the hands of the Bevin brothers, who are the most popular boys at Coral Cove High, but are also, as Matt soon discovers, the nastiest. When Wyatt and Matt try to get Frank back, they concoct a plan to attend a party for the cool clique at the Bevin's waterfront mansion and stumble onto the Bevin family's dark and deadly secret. That's when Wyatt learns that some things are worse than being unpopular in high school. MUCH worse.
The Worst Night Ever (Class Trip Ser.)
by Dave Barry Grzegorz KrysinskiLast year, Wyatt Palmer was the hero of middle school, having foiled a plot against the president of the United States. But now he and his friends are in Coral Cove High School-home of the Fighting Conchs-and Wyatt is no longer a hero: He's just another undersized freshman, hoping to fit in, or at least not be unpopular. Things start to go wrong when Matt Diaz, who is Wyatt's best friend but also unfortunately an idiot, decides to bring his pet ferret, Frank, to school. Through an unfortunate series of events Frank ends up in the hands of the Bevin brothers, who are the most popular boys at Coral Cove High, but are also, as Matt soon discovers, the nastiest. When Wyatt and Matt try to get Frank back, they concoct a plan to attend a party for the cool clique at the Bevin's waterfront mansion and stumble onto the Bevin family's dark and deadly secret. That's when Wyatt learns that some things are worse than being unpopular in high school. MUCH worse.
The Worst Noel
by Collected Authors Of The Worst NoelDoes the thought of mistletoe give you hives?Does the sound of jingling bellsinstill fear in your heart?Do you hide under the covers from the day after Thanksgiving till New Year's Day?And even if you love Christmas, do thehyperconsumerism, overindulgence, andtinsel-covered everything make you crazy?If you said yes to any of these questions, this is the book for you. You are not alone. Everyone has a Christmas-nightmare story to tell. Some of the best writers around have gone through some of the worst Christmases ever. Their tales of holly-draped horror are gathered here for your amusement, from NEAL POLLACK's Christmas-ham disaster to the accidental Santahood of JONI RODGERS to BINNIE KIRSHENBAUM's receiving what may be the worst gift ever given. And Stanley Bing gives us a peek at the lonely guy's Xmas feast. All this, plus many more recollections of Worst Noels past.So pour yourself a glass of eggnog, chisel off a piece of rock-hard fruitcake, and curl up in the big comfy chair by the fireplace where the stockings have been hung with such care -- and settle in to read The Worst Noel.
The Worst Things in Life Are Also Free (Dear Dumb Diary #10)
by Jim BentonBestselling author Jamie Kelly is back with an all-new, all-funny diary! But she has no idea that anybody is reading it. So please, please, please don't tell her.School's out for the summer, and that means no more Meat Loaf Thursdays, Sunday homework-cramming, or teachers (way way unsuccessfully) trying to act cool. It also means that certain Mackerel Middle Schoolers have a lot of time on their hands . . . and seriously empty pockets. Isabella is going to change all that. And Jamie and Angeline are going to help --- whether they like it or not. It's the best kind of teamwork: When a whole bunch of people work together to do something wrong, instead of doing it wrong one at a time.
The Worst Witch
by Jill MurphyMildred Hubble is the worst witch at Miss Cackle's Academy for Witches she's always getting her spells wrong. But she manages to get by until she turns Ethel, the teacher's pet, into her deadly enemy ISBN 978-0-14-131450-1
The Worst Witch Strikes Again
by Jill Murphy[From the back cover:] Poor Mildred Hubble is in trouble again, right at the start of the summer term at Miss Cackle's Academy for Witches. She has been put in charge of the new girl, Enid Nightshade, since Miss Cackle thinks the responsibility will keep disaster-prone Mildred occupied and out of trouble. But beneath Enid's large and placid exterior lurks a very different character, one that is to lead Mildred a long way off the straight and narrow path... The adventures of Mildred Hubble first came to light in The Worst Witch, and this hilarious sequel will delight all fans of Miss Cackle's worst pupil. Have more fun reading about Mildred, the young witch who just can't seem to follow the rules at her school for witches. There are 7 books in this series. Look for The Worst Witch, A Bad Spell for the Worst Witch, The Worst Witch and the Wishing Star, The Worst Witch to the Rescue, The Worst Witch Saves the day and The Worst Witch at Sea.
The Worst Wizard (Early Reader)
by John McLayEarly Readers are stepping stones from picture books to reading books. A blue Early Reader is perfect for sharing and reading together. A red Early Reader is the next step on your reading journey.Harry's family are all knights. They are big, but Harry is quite small. Then an idea hits him. Perhaps a bit of magic can make him taller...A hilarious new Early Reader story about a horse called Oats, a wizard and a boy who longs to be a knight from John McLay and Horrible Histories illustrator, Martin Brown.
The Worst of Sports
by Jesse Lamovsky Matthew Rosetti Charlie DemarcoTAKE THEM OUT OF THE BALL GAME–PLEASE! From star running back Bryon “Bam” Morris’s interesting (and totally illegal) sideline career to the 1950s Kansas City A’s sneaky relationship with the New York Yankees; from French golfer Jean Van de Velde’s epic choke on 18 at the 1999 British Open to the infamous Cleveland Ten-Cent Beer Night riot of 1974; from Hungary’s bloody 1956 Olympic water polo match with the Soviet Union to the definitive analysis of basketball coach Larry Brown’s sartorial evolution and...
The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: History
by Joshua Piven David Borgenicht Piers MarchantBest-seller history repeats itself with this dynamic new "almanac" format that broadens the scope and content of the Worst-Case Scenario handbooks. The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: History offers step-by-step illustrated scenarios on how to win a joust, survive in a dungeon, and overcome other plights of yesteryear, but the volume also features hundreds of pages of additionaland hilariousinformation in the form of lists (the worst jobs to have during the Industrial Revolution), offbeat profiles (Attila the Hun, Idi Amin), Worst-Case Wisdom (bad advice), descriptions of disasters narrowly averted, and much more. Packed with charts, graphs, maps, and timelines, The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: History is an invigorating look at all that's gone wrong in the past and the best way to prepare for the future.
The Worst-Case Scenario Almanac: Politics
by David Borgenicht Turk ReganLeave it to the experts of the best-selling Worst-Case Scenario series to ferret out the most scandalous, dangerous, incompetent, and downright awful people to ever seek power. The most lavish palaces, the bloodiest coups, the stupidest declarations. . . . Plus all the lists, charts, maps, and profiles that have made the Worst-Case Scenario Almanacs such a success. Which country had more governments in the past 175 years--Italy or Bolivia? What ever happened to all those people who ran for vice president of the United States of America--and lost? Illustrated, step-by-step scenarios describe how to respond when confronted with misfortune or challenge, including how to give a concession speech, kiss a drooling baby, escape a sex scandal, and evade the truth.
The Worst-Case Scenario Book of Survival Questions
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtThe authors of the phenomenally best-selling Worst-Case Scenario Survival series have taught millions to prepare for the worst--but how can readers be sure they're really ready? The Worst-Case Scenario Book of Survival Questions collects hundreds of survival dilemmas and questions designed to test true survival skill and daring. Fifty percent longer than the handbooks, this challenging, interactive, and informative book is packed with survival trivia, expert tips, adventurous situations, and illustrations. Your car is careening toward a 20-foot drop into a river: do you leap from the car immediately, or wait to swim free once it begins to sink? Is it worse to be lost in the jungle during the day or in the desert at night? If you had to perform an emergency tracheotomy, where would you make the incision? In hundreds of multiple-choice quizzes, story problems, and questions, The Worst-Case Scenario Book of Survival Questions provides need-to-know answers to life's unexpected turns for the worst. Also included is a Worst-Case Scenario Aptitude Test (WCSAT), which can be scored at home to ensure optimum readiness. Don't wait until it's too late!
The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide: Breakups
by David BorgenichtGet over it! What to do if you're left at the altar; tell-tale signs your relationship is over; treating red, puffy eyes; and how to make your bed feel less empty.
The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide: Cars
by David Borgenicht Ben WintersLearn to reattach a bumper, drive down a flight of stairs, and survive road rage--your own and other people's. The essential driver's manual!
The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide: Cats
by David Borgenicht Ben WintersThe ultimate survival guide for dealing with all things feline, from hairballs and litter box malfunctions to catnip overdoses, apathy, and bossiness.
The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide: Dogs
by David BorgenichtYour "best friend" shouldn't poop on the rug. Puppy-proof your home; remove skunk odors; give your dog the Heimlich maneuver.
The Worst-Case Scenario Pocket Guide: Meetings
by David Borgenicht Ben WintersFake your way through a presentation, slip out of the room unnoticed, stay awake through agenda overload, and video conference from the beach.
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook for Kids (Worst Case Scenario)
by David Borgenicht Justin HeimbergThe best-selling (and wildly hilarious) Worst-Case Scenario series is back with 40 extreme survival tips for kids ages 8 to 12, great for adventurous fans of the I Survived series.Erupting volcanoes. Ravenous sharks. Pooping in the woods. The great outdoors is a weird, wonderful, and scare-your-pants-off terrifying place. Whether you&’re freezing in the Arctic, escaping quicksand in the jungle, or befriending tarantulas in the desert, this guide has you covered. (Figuratively, not literally. We didn&’t have the budget for a blanket-sized book.) Bust this guide open and discover step-by-step instructions for surviving the most extreme situations that Planet Earth can throw at you. Learn how to: Dodge a charging rhinocerosRide out a sandstormNavigate by the starsBuild a snow caveCross piranha-infested watersAnd much more!Yeah, the outdoors can be scary, but you&’ve got this indispensable, laugh-out-loud survival guide. So what are you waiting for? Get out there!
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Apocalypse
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtIt&’s the apocalypse—now what? Prepare for the end of civilization with the help of the world&’s best-selling survival guide series and learn how to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start all over again.The doomsday clock is seconds from midnight. Extinction-level dangers draw closer with every tick. But fear not! Here is an indispensable guide to preparing for and surviving the ultimate in worst-case scenarios, with humor to lighten the load. You can&’t panic if you&’re laughing.Dozens of survival experts provide illustrated, step-by-step instructions on: How to Pack a Go Bag in Thirty MinutesHow to Make Your Bunker Feel Like HomeHow to Survive an Alien InvasionHow to Defeat a Robot UprisingHow to Survive the Next PandemicHow to Fend Off a Hostile ClanHow to Eat Insects and RodentsHow to Rebuild a Utopian SocietyYou've gotten this far. Don't let zombies take you out.
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: College (Worst-case Scenario Ser.)
by Joshua Piven David Borgenicht Jennifer WorickThe college years are a time of noble pursuit of knowledge, self-betterment-and unending peril! Students are at risk from the moment they receive their acceptance letters. Fortunately, the authors of the phenomenally best-selling Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series have come to the rescue, offering all-new, hands-on, step-by-step instructions for surviving the worst that higher education has to offer, on campus and off. Learn how to identify a party school, engineer a hookup, survive "the spins," and escape a stadium riot. Discover the best way to sleep in class, pass a test you haven't studied for, avoid the "freshman fifteen," and pull an all-nighter. With practical advice for avoiding laundry and identifying unsafe institutional food, along with an appendix of excuses for missed deadlines and a back-up diploma, this is truly required reading for all college students-and a perfect high school graduation present.
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Expert Advice for Extreme Situations (Worst-Case Scenario)
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtThe 20th anniversary edition of the international bestseller, perfectly timed for everyone needing extra help to be adequately prepared for dire situations in today's world.Danger! It lurks at every corner. Quicksand. Sharks. Cyberbullies. Super Flu. From wrestling an alligator to evading drones to landing an airplane if the pilot passes out, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help with expert, illustrated, step-by-step instructions for the best ways to tackle life's sudden turns for the worse. Needed now more than ever, this revised and expanded edition of the international bestseller delivers frightening and funny real advice readers need to know fast, including crucial information added from across the Worst-Case series and 20 all-new scenarios for 21st-century threats, from extreme weather and "fake news" to dropping a cell phone in the bathroom toilet.EMERGENCY INSTRUCTION FOR ANXIOUS TIMES: This ultimate survival book is packed with expert—and humorous—advice for extreme situations, including tips on great escapes and entrances (how to escape from a sinking car), hacks for technical trouble (how to survive an out-of-control autonomous car), skills for adventure survival (how to survive an avalanche), and more. INFORMATION ANYONE CAN USE: From your nephew who loves camping in the wilderness to your great aunt who became a doomsday prepper during the pandemic, this complete survival guide is the ultimate preparedness tool for people of all ages. A FAVORITE BOOK TO SHARE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY: Readers rave about the reactions this entertaining volume elicits, sharing that it's "an absolute hit" as a gift and a "great tabletop item for guests to pick up and browse for a few minutes." One reviewer notes this is "one of the best gifts that I have ever purchased" while another calls the book "a fun read and conversation starter."Perfect for:Kids, teens, and adults interested in learning how to survive anything, from a sudden natural disaster to a zombie apocalypseAnyone who enjoys funny booksBirthday, holiday, or graduation gag gifts
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Edition (Worst-case Scenario Ser.)
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtHow could it get any worse? For the latest book in the phenomenally successful Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series, the authors have pulled out all the stops, harkening back to the core appeal that made the first book a runaway bestseller. Here are all new scenarios for living life on the very edge. Imperiled readers will learn immediate, hands-on strategies for surviving an elephant stampede, a 16-car pile-up, a mine collapse, and a nuclear attack. Discover how to take a bullet, control a runaway hot air balloon, break a gorilla's grip, endure a Turkish prison, and free a limb from a beartrap. Whether stranded on an iceberg, being chased by a pack of wolves, spinning out on a motorcycle, or being buried alive, The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Extreme Edition has all the right stuff for those times when everything goes wrong.