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The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Gross Junior Edition
by David Borgenicht Robin Epstein Nathaniel MarunasLeave it to the authors of the best-selling Worst-Case Scenario series to serve up a hilarious and totally "gross" handbook that will guide kids through all things slippery, slimy, and stinky. Find out how to survive boogers, bloody noses, barfing emergencies, and more. The tips in this book will have kids laughing out loud, while gearing them up to tackle all that's utterly disgusting in life, Worst-Case Scenario-style!
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Holidays
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtTurkey on fire? No plans for New Year's Eve? Obnoxious relatives headed your way? The authors of the best-selling The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook are here to help you survive the dangers of the holiday season, from Thanksgiving to New Year's Day. Learn how to rescue someone stuck in a chimney, survive the office holiday party, and escape a runaway parade balloon. Expertly deal with a meddling parent, silence a group of carolers, and treat a tongue stuck to a frozen pole. Illustrated, step-by-step instructions guide you through these and dozens of other festive scenarios. With a helpful appendix of holiday excuses, last-minute gift ideas, and creative drink recipes for when the liquor runs out, this is truly the perfect holiday book.
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: How To Escape From Quicksand, Wrestle an Alligator, Break Down a Door, Land a Plane... (Worst-case Scenario Ser.)
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtThe book that launched the ten-million-copy bestselling series—for “those with deep-seated fears about killer bees, quicksand, mountain lions and sharks” (USA Today).Danger! It lurks at every corner. The pilot of the plane blacks out and it’s up to you to land the jet. What do you do? The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook is here to help: jam-packed with how-to, hands-on, step-by-step, illustrated instructions on everything you need to know FAST—from defusing a bomb to delivering a baby in the back of a cab. Providing frightening and funny real information in the bestselling tradition of The Paranoid’s Pocket Guide and The Hypochondriac’s Handbook, this indispensable, indestructible, take-with-you-anywhere guide is the definitive handbook for those times when life takes a sudden turn for the worse. The essential companion for a perilous age. Because you never know . . .Praise for the Worst-Case Scenario Survival series“The scenarios owe a debt to action flick clichés—how often do you find yourself leaping from rooftop to rooftop?—but their utter implausibility doesn’t make this read any less riveting.” —People“What this book lacks in spiritual enlightenment, it more than makes up for with the practical advice you thought you’d never need.” —The Irish Times“There is something for everyone. It has a wide range of scenarios from dangerous to just downright irritating . . . It is fun, witty, entertaining and you learn something along the way too.” —Quill Quotes
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Middle School (Worst-case Scenario Ser.)
by David Borgenicht Robin Epstein Ben WintersHomework, hormones, heartache...middle school has no shortage of perils. Never fear, the authors of the best-selling Worst-Case Scenario series return with a survival guide for those who are facing--or just about to face--this big transitional time in school and life. The handbook is packed with funny-but-useful tips for the trickiest situations that crop up in middle school, like taking charge of a too-busy homework schedule, dealing with a cold shoulder from a friend who has suddenly become just too cool, avoiding common e-mail and cell phone disasters, and more.
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Parenting
by Joshua Piven David Borgenicht Sarah JordanForget quicksand and shark attacks, child-rearing is the truly terrifying activity. A screaming baby on an airplane, no diapers(!), monsters hiding in the closet, a long family car trip, the first date-these are the high-risk adventures you need to survive. Fortunately, the authors of the phenomenally best-selling Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook series now keep parents safe, from cradle to teens. Hands-on, step-by-step instructions show you how to remove objects stuck in a child's nose or gum stuck in hair, and how to survive endless soccer games, slumber parties, and sleep deprivation. From baby-proofing the house to dealing with a dead pet, from the perils of the play-date to explaining about the birds and the bees, this essential guide tells parents what to really expect when your worst-case scenario is all in the family.
The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Work
by Joshua Piven David BorgenichtHow to: deal with a nightmare boss or client, disguise a tattoo, restore a shredded document, sneak out of a meeting, thwart a lunch thief, survive a workplace romance, and dozens of other dire employment situations. Here are step-by-step instructions to help you survive the worst that your job has to offer.
The Worst-Case Scenario Ultimate Adventure Novel: Amazon
by David Borgenicht Yancey Labat Hena Khan Ed StaffordA new thrill ride begins in the Amazon rainforest with the latest novel in the Worst-Case Scenario Ultimate Adventure series! Join an expedition of students exploring the Amazon jungle and face real dangers and decisions. Your choices will determine your fate. Will you survive your encounters with piranhas, tarantulas, mosquitoes, monkeys, and jaguars? Or will you be forced to return home early? Only you can decide how to survive. There are twenty-two possible endings to this adventure, but only ONE leads to ultimate success! Featuring dynamic comic book-style illustrations, and based on real, true-life facts about the Amazon, this story will be a surefire hit with anyone craving a fun, highly visual reading experience.
The Worst-Case Scenario Ultimate Adventure Novel: Everest (Worst-case Scenario Ser.)
by David Borgenicht Bill Doyle David Morton Yancey LabatAn interactive adventure like no other! On this epic climb up Mount Everest, readers are part of the youngest team ever to climb the world's tallest peak. Only YOU can make the right choice about your own survival and then experience the consequences of those choices. Will you summit Mount Everest and return to base camp safely? Will you be forced to turn back early or worse? Only you can determine your own fate! Highly illustrated in comic book style, and based on real, true-life facts about mountain climbing, Mount Everest, and Himalayan culture, this book will be a surefire hit with anyone craving adventure and a fun, visual reading experience.
The Woulda Coulda Shoulda Guide to Canadian Inventions
by Red GreenOne of Canada's greatest inventors appraises his peers, with mixed results. The author of How to Do Everything and Red Green's Beginner's Guide to Women has never been afraid to take on jobs doomed to failure. This latest project is perhaps the nearest he has come to a triumph. In The Woulda Coulda Shoulda Guide to Canadian Inventions Red surveys, analyzes, critiques and in some cases tells you how to recreate at home, the best Canadian inventions, from the Wonderbra to the hard-cup jockstrap, by way of insulin, the walkie-talkie, synchronized swimming and more world-changing innovations than you can wave a Canadarm at. And speaking of the Canadarm, Red shows how by simply combining common household items such as a cordless drill, metal tape measure, broomstick, ice tongs, bungee cord, fishing reel and, of course, the handyman's secret weapon—duct tape—you will in no time at all be lifting oranges out of the fruit bowl like a trained astronaut. Elsewhere, Red explains definitively the difference between the alkaline battery and Al Kaline, who played right field for the Detroit Tigers. And he reveals how Lodge Member Dennis Holmsworth's test-run of magnetic shoes along the underside of the Mercury Creek Railway Bridge literally came undone as a result of poor lace-tying skills. A rallying call to handymen and handywomen everywhere to aim high, and however badly you might miss, this book is a reminder that you are not alone.
The Wrap-Up List
by Steven ArntsonIn this modern-day suburban town, one percent of all fatalities come about in the most peculiar way. Deaths--eight-foot-tall, silver-gray creatures--send a letter ("Dear So-and-So, your days are numbered") to whomever is chosen for a departure, telling them to wrap up their lives and do the things they always wanted to do before they have to "depart." When sixteen-year-old Gabriela receives her notice, she is, of course devastated. Will she kiss her crush Sylvester before it's too late? Friendship, first love, and fantasy artfully mesh in this magically realistic world that ultimately celebrates life.
The Wrath of Squat (Space Brat #3)
by Bruce CovilleSpace Brat Blork, Moomie Peevik, Appus Meko, and their pets are captured by the dread Squat and taken to his planet Snarf.
The Wreckage of My Presence: Essays
by Casey WilsonLaugh-out-loud, deeply insightful, and emotion-filled essays from multitalented actress, comedian, podcaster, and writer Casey Wilson. <P><P>Casey Wilson has a lot on her mind and she isn’t afraid to share. In this dazzling collection, each essay skillfully constructed and brimming with emotion, she shares her thoughts on the joys and vagaries of modern-day womanhood and motherhood, introduces the not-quite-typical family that made her who she is, and persuasively argues that lowbrow pop culture is the perfect lens through which to examine human nature. <P><P>Whether she’s extolling the virtues of eating in bed, processing the humiliation over her father’s late in life perm, mourning her mother's passing, or revealing her patented method for keeping the mystery alive in a marriage, Casey is witty, candid, and full of poignant and funny surprises. Humorous dives into her obsessions and areas of personal expertise—self-help, nice guys, cool girls (not her) and how to receive visitors in the bath—are matched by touching meditations on female friendship, anger, grief, motherhood, and identity. <P><P>Reading The Wreckage of My Presence is like spending time with a close friend—a deeply passionate, full-tilt, joyous, excessive, compulsive, shameless, hungry-for-it-all, loyal, cheerleading friend. A friend who is ready for any big feelings that come her way—and isn’t afraid to embrace them. <P><P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
The Wrestler's Cruel Study
by Stephen DobynsWrestling, kidnapping, subplots from the Brothers Grimm, and a young man's search for his missing fiancee are only some of the elements of Stephen Dobyns's dazzling new novel. Fun and puns mingle with daring make-believe. Larger-than-life characters play out the crucial human questions: How do we live? How do we handle our demons?
The Writer
by Davide CaliA dog has an important job to do, especially if his human is a writer. Without a dog by his side, the writer would forget to eat. He&’d never get out of his pajamas, and he&’d probably stare at the computer all day long. But even the best French bulldog can&’t do everything. Maybe this perfect pair needs someone new in their lives… Illustrated in warm, earthy tones, this witty story reflects the ways dogs change our lives for the better. Our canine friends can make—and find—the best companions.
The Writer's Cats
by Muriel Barbery Maria GuitartFrom the bestselling author of The Elegance of the Hedgehog comes this delightful tale that pays tribute to Japanese philosophy and our feline friends.What a mysterious, confounding thing is a writer! Yet, spend a little time with the writer’s cats and one might just understand her better.Muriel Barbery, via her cats and co-conspirators, takes readers into her atelier, offering them a behind-the-scenes peek into her process and problems, joys and disappointments. The tale is told from the perspective of one of the writer’s four cats, Kirin, who, together with her cohort, may or may not be a reliable narrator. There’s Ocha, the leader of the gang, a tough guy with a soft heart; the bandy-legged and affectionate Mizu, Ocha’s sister; the phlegmatic and refined Petrus, lover of flowers; and finally, pretty Kirin, narrator of this bewitching story.A superb, funny, and touching text for writers, readers, fans of Muriel Barbery’s bestselling novels, and cat lovers.“Barbery’s poetic prose and Maria Guitart’s enchanting illustrations are an irresistible combination that readers will love to cozy up to and lose themselves in for a moment.” —Booklist“Creative types of all stripes—especially cat lovers—will be enchanted by Barbery’s fun and delightfully philosophical storytelling.” —Shelf Awareness“A book of few words delightfully illustrated by Maria Guitart . . . readers will be entranced by the detailed portrayal of Barbery’s ménage, her domestic habits and customs, her obsession with order, her writing routine, and so much more.” —La Stampa (Italy)
The Writer's Cut
by Eric IdleFrom Monty Python legend Eric Idle comes this wicked and enthralling comedySet during the glorious days of the Bush Empire before they finally invaded and killed irony, The Writer’s Cut follows Stanley Hay, a joke writer. He has a girlfriend, a writing partner and a career going nowhere in particular. Wisecracking, ambitious and horny, Stanley decides that he is going to change that by writing a novel. This is where things start to spiral out of control.Caught up in the excitement Stanley falsely confesses that the novel will be a kiss-and-tell (a kiss and sell?) featuring Hollywood’s most famous and glamorous actresses. Before long expectations are going through the roof, Stanley is a celebrity in his own right and he’s living the LA highlife. There’s only one little problem…Funny and pointed, The Writer’s Cut is a manic satirical ride through the booze and sex fuelled world of Tinseltown from our one of the world’s best loved comedians.
The Writers Afterlife
by Richard VetereThe Writers Afterlife is the story of Tom Chillo, a 44-year-old writer on the verge of fame, who suddenly dies of a stroke and finds himself transported to a place where all writers are sent after they die. After mingling with "The Eternals" - including Shakespeare, Wilde, Keats, and Tolstoy - he discovers that his true peers in this new world are all haunted by the same regret: they never achieved the fame they felt they deserved during their lifetime. There's still a chance, though. Every writer has the opportunity to return to earth for exactly one week and convince someone to set the wheels in motion to give their life's work widespread notoriety. The trick is to come up with the perfect plan the first time. Failure is not an option. The Writers Afterlife is brimming with warm humor, New York street sensibility, and an underlying commentary about the drive for fame in contemporary culture. With a deft hand, Vetere explores the deceptions that people employ to achieve at all costs. A string of eccentric New York characters fly off the page and make for a striking, memorable book that is a delight to read.
The Writers Afterlife
by Richard VetereThe Writers Afterlife is the story of Tom Chillo, a 44-year-old writer on the verge of fame, who suddenly dies of a stroke and finds himself transported to a place where all writers are sent after they die. After mingling with "The Eternals" - including Shakespeare, Wilde, Keats, and Tolstoy - he discovers that his true peers in this new world are all haunted by the same regret: they never achieved the fame they felt they deserved during their lifetime. There's still a chance, though. Every writer has the opportunity to return to earth for exactly one week and convince someone to set the wheels in motion to give their life's work widespread notoriety. The trick is to come up with the perfect plan the first time. Failure is not an option. The Writers Afterlife is brimming with warm humor, New York street sensibility, and an underlying commentary about the drive for fame in contemporary culture. With a deft hand, Vetere explores the deceptions that people employ to achieve at all costs. A string of eccentric New York characters fly off the page and make for a striking, memorable book that is a delight to read.
The Wrong Billionaire's Bed: Billionaire Boys Club 3 (Billionaire Boys Club)
by Jessica ClareFans of J.S. Scott, Louise Bay and Melody Anne - prepare to be dazzled by Jessica Clare's Billionaire Boys Club. The Billionaire Boys Club is a secret society of six incredibly wealthy men who have vowed success in business - at any cost. But success when it comes to love is a different matter...Audrey Petty's always been the responsible one. The good twin. She'd be the perfect girlfriend for her childhood crush, billionaire Cade Archer...except that she's pretty sure she's not even on his radar. But when fate decrees that Audrey spend time with Cade at his remote cabin retreat, it's a dream come true... Until she meets her worst nightmare.Billionaire playboy Reese Durham is used to seducing women to get what he wants. But when stiff, too-proper Audrey arrives at his buddy's mountain lodge it's clear that Audrey's in love with Cade...and it's clear to Reese that blackmailing Audrey with this information can get her to agree to just about anything. Like furtive kisses, or a secret rendezvous in the woods. Audrey may think she knows what she wants, but Reese is determined to show her what she needs...Want more irresistible romance? Look for the rest of Billionaire Boys Club titles, starting with Stranded With A Billionaire, as well as the sizzling spinoff series, Billionaires and Bridesmaids, starting with The Billionaire And The Virgin.
The Wrong Book
by Drew DaywaltWhat if the narrator of the book you're reading is just...WRONG?! This hilarious book from the author of The Day the Crayons Quit will have you correcting what you're reading—and laughing!Do bicycles say cock-a-doodle-doo? Do firefighters shout Ding Dong! before they put out a fire?That&’s what the narrator of this hilarious picture book thinks! Good thing there are some other characters in this book to set him straight…With bright bold illustrations, this laugh-out-loud funny story, written by the author of The Day the Crayons Quit, is sure to give kids—and grown-ups—a serious case of the giggles. Because a flower goes chugga-chugga-choo-choo. Right? Right?
The Wrong Box
by Robert Louis Stevenson Lloyd Osbourne Otto PenzlerTwo brothers will do whatever it takes to hide a body and inherit a fortune in this laugh-out-loud crime caper Elderly Joseph and Masterman Finsbury are the last survivors of a tontine established in their youth. Their nephews, Morris and John, have one simple goal: Keep Uncle Joseph alive longer than Uncle Masterman. If they succeed, the brothers will be set for life. If they fail, the fortune goes to cousin Michael--and poverty will be their fate. When the siblings regain consciousness after a train wreck, they discover that Joseph--or a man dressed exactly like him--died in the crash. Not to worry; Morris has a plan. Instead of burying the body where anyone might dig it up, they'll ship it around the world until Uncle Masterman dies. It seems foolproof, until the incorrect package arrives at the first destination and Morris and John have to find poor, dead Uncle Joseph before somebody opens the wrong box. This ebook features a new introduction by Otto Penzler and has been professionally proofread to ensure accuracy and readability on all devices.
The Wrong Child: A gripping thriller you won't be able to put down
by Barry GornellHow far would you go to protect your child?When tragedy strikes in a small Scottish village, everyone in the community is affected.Most people believe one child is to blame for what happened.But could a young boy really be responsible? And what lengths will his parents go to protect him?THE WRONG CHILD is the most thought-provoking novel of 2018, perfect for fans of WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT KEVIN by Lionel Shriver and MY ABSOLUTE DARLING by Gabriel Tallent.****************READERS ARE CALLING THE WRONG CHILD 'UNFORGETTABLE':'Amazing' - Amazon 5* review'A great page-turner!' Amazon 5* review'Hopefully it will receive the wider audience it so richly deserves' - Amazon 5* review'Challenges your notions and ideals of morality' - Amazon review'Will stick with you long after you finish it!' Amazon review****************What the critics are saying about THE WRONG CHILD:'A thought-provoking read' - THE SUN'Genuinely gripping' - THE HERALD'A study of guilt and grief' - DAILY MAIL'Brilliant, but dark as hell' - METRO'Astonishing' - PSYCHOLOGIES'So visceral it seeps into your pores' - DAILY RECORD'Stunning. Macabre, unsettling and beautifully poetic' - BRIAN CONAGHAN, Costa Award winning author
The Wrong Dead Guy (Another Coop Heist Ser.)
by Richard KadreyA special agent for a supernatural task force hunts down a runaway mummy bent on raising hell in this adventure by a New York Times–bestselling author.Coop, a master thief sort of gone legit, save the world from an ancient doomsday device—heroism that earned him a gig working for the Department of Peculiar Science, a fearsome top secret government agency that polices the odd and the strange.Now Woolrich, Coop’s boss at the DOPS, has Coop breaking into a traveling antiquities show to steal a sarcophagus containing the mummy of a powerful Egyptian wizard named Harkuf.Coop pulls off the heist without a hitch. And it’s not his fault that when DOPS opened the sarcophagus they didn’t find the mummy they were expecting. Well, it was the right mummy, but it wasn’t exactly dead—and now it’s escaped. Being a typical boss, Woolrich blames his underling for the screw-up and wants Coop to find the missing Harkuf, pronto.Digging into Harkuf’s history, Coop thinks the mummy is hunting for an ancient magical manuscript that will help bring his old lover back to life. Which wouldn’t be so bad if she wasn’t a warrior sorceress hell-bent on conquering the world with undead armies.Coop would very much like to run from the oncoming chaos. It’s one thing to steal a mummy, but another to have to deal with head-hunting bureaucrats, down-on-their-luck fortune tellers, undead mailroom clerks, and a rather unimpressed elephant. Unfortunately, there’s nowhere to run. If Coop wants the madness to stop, he must suck it up and play hero once more. But if he manages to save the world AGAIN, he’s definitely going to want a lot of answers—and a raise.Praise for The Wrong Dead Guy“A goofy, flamboyant, and breathless horror adventure by one of the genre’s sharpest creators.” —Kirkus Reviews“[The Wrong] Dead Guy is a riot. It’s just plain dangerous fun.” —NPR“[Kadrey’s] plotting is as deft as ever, weaving eight broad story arcs into one overarching narrative that’s entertainingly unpredictable.” —Publishers Weekly
The Wrong End of the Table: A Mostly Comic Memoir of a Muslim Arab American Woman Just Trying to Fit in
by Ayser SalmanAn Immigrant Love-Hate Story of What it Means to Be American You know that feeling of being at the wrong end of the table? Like you’re at a party but all the good stuff is happening out of earshot (#FOMO)? That’s life—especially for an immigrant. What happens when a shy, awkward Arab girl with a weird name and an unfortunate propensity toward facial hair is uprooted from her comfortable (albeit fascist-regimed) homeland of Iraq and thrust into the cold, alien town of Columbus, Ohio—with its Egg McMuffins, Barbie dolls, and kids playing doctor everywhere you turned? This is Ayser Salman’s story. First comes Emigration, then Naturalization, and finally Assimilation—trying to fit in among her blonde-haired, blue-eyed counterparts, and always feeling left out. On her journey to Americanhood, Ayser sees more naked butts at pre-kindergarten daycare that she would like, breaks one of her parents’ rules (“Thou shalt not participate as an actor in the school musical where a male cast member rests his head in thy lap”), and other things good Muslim Arab girls are not supposed to do. And, after the 9/11 attacks, she experiences the isolation of being a Muslim in her own country. It takes hours of therapy, fifty-five rounds of electrolysis, and some ill-advised romantic dalliances for Ayser to grow into a modern Arab American woman who embraces her cultural differences. Part memoir and part how-not-to guide, The Wrong End of the Table is everything you wanted to know about Arabs but were afraid to ask, with chapters such as “Tattoos and Other National Security Risks,” “You Can’t Blame Everything on Your Period; Sometimes You’re Going to Be a Crazy Bitch: and Other Advice from Mom,” and even an open letter to Trump. This is the story of every American outsider on a path to find themselves in a country of beautiful diversity.
The Wrong Heaven
by Amy BonnaffonsIncluding the story "Horse," as heard on This American Life. For fans of George Saunders and Karen Russell, an "amazing, wildly inventive" collection of stories that straddles the line between the real and the fantastical. (Kevin Wilson) <P><P>In The Wrong Heaven, anything is possible: bodies can transform, inanimate objects come to life, angels appear and disappear. <P><P>Bonnaffons draws us into a delightfully strange universe, in which her conflicted characters seek to solve their sexual and spiritual dilemmas in all the wrong places. The title story's heroine reckons with grief while arguing with loquacious Jesus and Mary lawn ornaments that come to life when she plugs them in. In "Horse," we enter a world in which women transform themselves into animals through a series of medical injections. In "Alternate," a young woman convinces herself that all she needs to revive a stagnant relationship is the perfect poster of the Dalai Lama. <P><P>While some of the worlds to which Bonnaffons transports us are more recognizable than others, all of them uncover the mysteries beneath the mundane surfaces of our lives. Enormously funny, boldly inventive, and as provocative as they are deeply affecting, these stories lay bare the heart of our deepest longings.