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The Unflushables
by James Patterson Ron BatesJames Patterson presents: The Titans of the Toilet! The Wonders from Down Under! Nitro City's very own sewer superheroes: The Plumbers! Super Mario Bros meets Captain Underpants in this action-packed comedy sure to make a splash!Thirteen-year-old Sully Stringfellow has always admired the great plumber heroes of Nitro City. These wrench-wielding warriors guarded the sewers--until they were discredited by the powerful Ironwater Corporation, which has a sinister scheme to take over the city. Without the plumbers, Nitro is being overrun by mutant creatures--and things are about to go totally nuclear thanks to the potentially explosive 50th Anniversary Burrito Festival!It's up to Sully and a league of long-forgotten plumber heroes to save the day, making it safe for all to flush again. It's a dirty job, but someone's got to do it!
Unforgettable
by Cassie MilesAfter trekking through the Rocky Mountains, surviving a head injury and the amnesia that followed, Jack Dalton couldn't imagine anything more healing than Caitlyn Morris and her remote cabin. Unfortunately, Jack's peace was shattered thanks to dangerous men toting guns and demanding answers. Although Jack had no idea who they were or what information he possessed, the thought of Caitlyn getting caught in the cross fire had him defending them against this unknown enemy. Still, Jack feared his true identity would add another deadly layer to his seemingly complicated past...and force Caitlyn to walk away. But whatever happened, he couldn't just let her go. Because regardless of his memory loss, Caitlyn was a woman he'd never forget.
The Unforgettable Party
by Noemi VolaA hilarious, quirky picture book about the power of imagination and learning to enjoy your own company, for fans of Carson Ellis and Jon Klassen.Caterpillar is SO bored. But everyone knows the best cure for boredom: a marvelous, super-long, super-fun, unforgettable party! He already has everything he needs: apple juice, confetti, decorations, party hats and star stickers to stick on your face. Everything is perfect, except for one missing ingredient: FRIENDS.Unfortunately, none of Caterpillar's friends are available. Caterpillar is SO sad. But then he comes up with an ingenious solution: using a marker, he creates six new friends . . . on himself! After introducing themselves and shaking each others' hands (or feet), it's time for the party to begin. They dance, they play, they put on costumes and even eat seven feet of pizza. It's a marvelous time!But what happens when the party is over? Will Caterpillar's new friends leave him? Find out in this delightfully quirky picture book.
An Unforgettable Summer. The Release Of Chickens and Other Adventures: Children's Book. Reading From 8-9 To 11-12 Years Old.
by A. P. HernándezJuan's summer vacation is over and he hasn't had any great adventures yet. But everything will change when he meets Estrella, Camila, and Rodrigo. Bald Eagle will be their teacher, the one in charge of turning them into real adventurers. Go on, my brave ones!
The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty: A Novel
by Amanda Filipacchi"A sure comic touch...smart and sweet...a tribute to the pleasures of friendship." --The New Yorker "Readers who'd like to spend a little time at the corner where a brisker Haruki Murakami meets a drier '30 Rock' would do well to seek out Filipacchi's radiantly intelligent and very funny novel." --San Francisco Chronicle A magical and comedic take on modern love, the power of friendship, and the allure of disguise. In the heart of New York City, a group of artistic friends struggles with society's standards of beauty. At the center are Barb and Lily, two women at opposite ends of the beauty spectrum, but with the same problem: each fears she will never find a love that can overcome her looks. Barb, a stunningly beautiful costume designer, makes herself ugly in hopes of finding true love. Meanwhile, her friend Lily, a brilliantly talented but plain-looking musician, goes to fantastic lengths to attract the man who has rejected her--with results that are as touching as they are transformative. To complicate matters, Barb and Lily discover that they may have a murderer in their midst, that Barb's calm disposition is more dangerously provocative than her beauty ever was, and that Lily's musical talents are more powerful than anyone could have imagined. Part literary whodunit, part surrealist farce, The Unfortunate Importance of Beauty serves as a smart, modern-day fairy tale. With biting wit and offbeat charm, Amanda Filipacchi illuminates the labyrinthine relationship between beauty, desire, and identity, asking at every turn: what does it truly mean to allow oneself to be seen?
The Unfortunate Miss Fortunes: A Novel
by Anne Stuart Jennifer Crusie Eileen DreyerYou're invited to spend the weekend with three extraordinary sisters…When she was sixteen, Dee Fortune kidnapped her two younger sisters and ran from danger. Now twenty-nine, she's still trying to control her shape-shifting power—no easy task when Danny James shows up one Friday morning with his deadly smile and dangerous questions about the past.Lizzie is determined to save her family from financial ruin by turning straw into gold; now if she could only stop turning forks into bunnies. Then Elric, a sorcerer, appears one Friday—annoyed with the chaos Lizzie is creating in the universe and in his heart. . . .The youngest Miss Fortune, Mare, towers above her sisters but her telekinetic power is dwarfed by their gifts. She spends her days at Value Video!! and her nights contemplating the futility of her existence. But then a gorgeous Value Video!! VP and Mare's long lost love turn up. . .and they all turn up the heat on a weekend that no Fortune will soon forget!
The Unfortunate Wishes of Nelly Young
by Beth GarrodFrom bestselling author Beth Garrod comes a fantastically funny wish fulfilment story. Perfect for fans of The Extremely Embarrassing Life of Lottie Brooks and The Amazing Edie Eckhart. Secondary school is ninety-eight days away, which means I&’m running out of time to break free from my totally embarrassing nickname Breaking News Nelly . . . Why did it have to be me who tripped playing netball and smashed a TV camera during the live report on our new sports hall opening?! I desperately need a relaunch, but it's hard when you have the worst luck in the world! At least I have my best friends Clara and Jas. Even though nothing ever seems to go right for us, we&’ve always been in it together. Like the time we wrote down our ultimate wishes but knew they wouldn&’t come true . . . until they did! Now more and more of our wishes are being granted, and we&’re having the best time ever! Maybe my fortunes have changed and I have the chance to ditch my old identity and become Totally Cool Nelly. Surely absolutely nothing is about to go wrong . . .?Praise for Sister Switch: 'Hilarious!' Jenny Valentine, author of A Girl Called Joy 'Blistering funny, this book is a joyous, sunny, heart-warming treat!' Simon James Green, author of Life of Riley &‘World-class and whip-smart comedy.&’ Sibéal Pounder, author of the Bad Mermaid series 'Beth Garrod is the queen of capturing those funny-awful-awkward teen moments and she creates such warm, loveable and relatable characters!' Perdita Cargill, author of Diary of an Accidental Witch
The Unfortunate Wishes of Nelly Young
by Beth GarrodA girl and her friends find their wishes coming true and their world turned upside down in this absurdly funny middle grade romp that&’s Dork Diaries meets The Wish by Gail Carson Levine.It&’s spring break, and twelve-year-old Nelly Young is determined to ditch the embarrassing nickname Breaking News Nelly and become Totally Cool Nelly. She&’s not quite sure how, but she&’s sure she&’ll figure it out…especially when she has her two best friends, Clara and Jas, by her side. Though nothing seems to go right for any of them, at least the three girls have each other. With nothing to lose, they&’re determined to make their own luck and write down their ultimate wishes. But to their surprise, the next morning they find their wishes starting to come true. But how?! They haven&’t got a clue, but soon the tides are turning for Nelly, Clara, and Jas, and all it takes is one wish…and then another…and another. Because when you have the power of unlimited wishes on your side, what could possibly go wrong?
Unfortunately Yours: A Novel (Vine Mess #2)
by Tessa Bailey#1 New York Times bestselling author Tessa Bailey is back in Napa Valley with this hilarious rom-com about a down-on-her-luck heiress who suggests a mutually beneficial marriage of convenience to a man she can’t stand... only to discover there’s a fine line between love and hate.After losing her job and her fiancé in one fell swoop, Natalie Vos returned home to lick her wounds. A few months later, she’s sufficiently drowned her sorrows in cabernet and she’s ready to get back on her feet. She just needs her trust fund to finance her new business venture. Unfortunately, the terms require she marry before she can have the money. And well, dumped, remember?But Natalie is desperate enough to propose to a man who makes her want to kill him—and kiss him, in equal measure. August Cates may own a vineyard, but he doesn’t know jack about making wine. He’s determined to do his late best friend proud, no matter what it takes. Except his tasting room is empty, his wine is disgusting (seriously, he once saw someone gag), and his buddy’s legacy is circling the drain. No bank will give him the loan he needs to turn the business around... and then the gorgeous, feisty heiress knocks on his door.Natalie has haunted August's dreams since the moment they met, but their sizzling chemistry immediately morphed into simmering insults. Now, a quickie marriage could help them both. A sham wedding, a few weeks living under the same roof, and then they can go their separate ways—assuming they make it out alive. How hard could it be?There’s just one thing they didn’t account for: their unfortunate, unbearable, undeniable attraction.
The Unfortunates: A Novel
by J K ChukwuAn edgy, bitingly funny debut about a queer, half-Nigerian college sophomore who, enraged and exhausted by the racism at her elite college, sets out to find truth about The Unfortunates—the unlucky subset of Black undergrads who have been mysteriously dyingSahara is Not Okay. Entering her sophomore year at Elite University, she feels like a failure: her body is too curvy, her love life is nonexistent, her family is disappointed in her, her grades are terrible, and, well, the few Black classmates she has just keep dying. Sahara is close to giving up, herself: her depression is, as she says, her only &“Life Partner.&” And this narrative—taking the form of an irreverent, piercing &“thesis&” to the university committee that will judge her—is meant to be a final unfurling of her singular, unforgettable voice before her own inevitable disappearance and death. But over the course of this wild sophomore year, and supported by her eccentric community of BIPOC women, Sahara will eventually find hope, answers, and an unexpected redemption.
Unfriending My Ex
by Kim StolzAn incisive, hilarious, and brutally honest memoir about life online and about how our obsessive connectivity is making us more disconnected--from former reality show contestant, MTV VJ, restauranteur, and go-to voice for millenials.Social media and technology have fundamentally altered the way we do business, couple and break up, develop friendships, and construct our identities and our notions of aspiration and fame. We make decisions about where we'll go based on whether it's Instagrammable. We don't have friends, we have followers. For an entire generation, an experience not captured on social media might as well not have happened at all. As someone whose identity has been forged by reality TV (as a contestant on America's Next Top Model) and social media and mobile technology, Kim Stolz is deeply obsessed with the subject. She has a hard time putting her phone down. And yet she remembers what life was like before technology-induced ADD, before life had become a string of late-night texts, Snapchats, endless selfies, that sinking feeling you get when you realize you've hit reply all by mistake. It's hard to imagine now, but there was once a time before we wasted a full hour emptily clicking through a semi-stranger's vacation pictures on Facebook, a time before every ex, every meaningless fling was a mere click away. Unfriending My Ex (And Other Things I'll Never Do) is the first book to document the hilarity of the social media revolution from the inside; it chronicles a life filtered through our obsessive relationship with technology. The book is as eye-opening as it is entertaining as it proceeds through the various ways in which social media and mobile technology have generated empathy deficits and left us all with the attention spans of fruit flies...and the sad fact that in spite all of this, we find it impossible to switch our devices off. Smart, hilarious, and completely relatable, Unfriending My Ex (And Other Things I'll Never Do) captures our crazy moment, shining a bright light on the trials and tribulations of life online.
Ungifted
by Gordon Korman<P>Donovan, whose real gift is getting into trouble, finds himself at an academy for gifted students! Donovan is definitely skilled... at getting into trouble. And when one of his thoughtless pranks accidentally destroys the school gym during the Big Game, with the superintendent watching, he knows he's in for it. Suspension at best, maybe expulsion. Either way, a lawsuit and paying for damages. <P>But through a strange chain of events, his name gets put on the list for the local school for gifted students: the Academy for Scholastic Distinction. Donovan knows he's not a genius, but he can't miss this chance to escape. Now, he has to figure out a way to stay at ASD -- and fit in with the kids there. And who knows, maybe his real gift will come to light. . . <P>A new story from the master of middle-grade and YA humour Gordon Korman, Ungifted is a funny exploration of the special (and often surprising) talents that make each of us gifted in our own way.
The Unhandsome Prince
by John MooreAnd they lived happily ever after…Caroline’s plan to live happily ever after has hit a snag. She’s spent months mapping the swamp, building tadpole nets, and kissing every wriggling frog she could get her hands on, and one has finally turned into a prince. Unfortunately, Prince Hal is not, as promised in the fairy tales, particularly handsome. In fact, he’s kind of dorky-looking.Hal himself isn’t very eager to marry a girl so obsessed with appearances, but he finds that a lot of people have a stake in his impending nuptials—including a sorceress in training, an irritating dwarf, and Hal’s own royal family, who seem to have misplaced large portions of the treasury. But the biggest reason for him to marry Caroline, true love be darned, is that if he doesn’t, it’s back to the lily pads for him—permanently…
Unhappy Birthday, Grumpy Cat! (Step into Reading)
by Frank BerriosA birthday-themed Step 2 Step into Reading leveled reader starring the world-famous feline Grumpy Cat.Grumpy Cat is about to have the most unhappy birthday ever--and that's just the way she likes it! The world-famous feline stars in this hilarious leveled reader, with all-new full-color illustrations. It is sure to delight boys and girls ages 4 to 6, as well as Grumpy Cat fans of all ages!Step 2 Readers use basic vocabulary and short sentences to tell simple stories, for children who recognize familiar words and can sound out new words with help. Rhyme and rhythmic text paired with picture clues help children decode the story.
Unhinged (Chrissy Mcmullen Ser. #9)
by Lois GreimanChrissy McMullen #9 "Dangerously funny stuff." –Janet Evanovich Chrissy McMullen, L.A.’s most death defying psychologist, is madly juggling a couple of too-hot-to-handle beaus, several weirder-than-hell family members, and a plethora of disturbed clients when longtime friend, Micky Goldenstone, is found shot and unresponsive beside a dead adversary. Is Micky a murderer? Or can Chrissy find the culprit before her juggling act crashes to a deadly conclusion? "Lois Greiman is a modern day Dorothy Sayers. Witty as hell, yet talented enough to write like an angel with a broken wing." –Kinky Friedman, author of Ten Little New Yorkers “Sexy…sassy…An entertaining series.” —Mystery Scene “For the Janet Evanovich fans who are craving a protagonist similar to Stephanie Plum.” —Mystery Scene A delightful romp, a laugh on every page." –MaryJanice Davidson "Just what the doctor ordered."--Publishers Weekly
The Unhoneymooners: The Unhoneymooners, Twice In A Blue Moon, The Honey-don't List (The\books Of Babel Ser.)
by Christina LaurenTHE INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER! Starred reviews from Kirkus Reviews * Publishers Weekly * Library Journal Named a &“Must-Read&” by TODAY, Us Weekly, Bustle, BuzzFeed, Goodreads, Entertainment Weekly, Publishers Weekly, Southern Living, Book Riot, Woman&’s Day, The Toronto Star, and more! For two sworn enemies, anything can happen during the Hawaiian trip of a lifetime—maybe even love—in this romantic comedy from the New York Times bestselling authors of Roomies.Olive Torres is used to being the unlucky twin: from inexplicable mishaps to a recent layoff, her life seems to be almost comically jinxed. By contrast, her sister Ami is an eternal champion...she even managed to finance her entire wedding by winning a slew of contests. Unfortunately for Olive, the only thing worse than constant bad luck is having to spend the wedding day with the best man (and her nemesis), Ethan Thomas. Olive braces herself for wedding hell, determined to put on a brave face, but when the entire wedding party gets food poisoning, the only people who aren&’t affected are Olive and Ethan. Suddenly there&’s a free honeymoon up for grabs, and Olive will be damned if Ethan gets to enjoy paradise solo. Agreeing to a temporary truce, the pair head for Maui. After all, ten days of bliss is worth having to assume the role of loving newlyweds, right? But the weird thing is...Olive doesn&’t mind playing pretend. In fact, the more she pretends to be the luckiest woman alive, the more it feels like she might be. With Christina Lauren&’s &“uniquely hilarious and touching voice&” (Entertainment Weekly), The Unhoneymooners is a romance for anyone who has ever felt unlucky in love.
Unicorn and Coffee
by Anna PeichevaThe Hounds of the Russian Empire are investigating the mysterious disappearance of a unicorn. A team of geneticists managed to bring out a wonderful animal during a daring scientific experiment.
Unicorn Being a Jerk
by C. W. MossMystical, gentle, magical . . . as if. You've obviously never seen a unicorn in his natural habitat-those guys are jerks. Cartoonist C. W. Moss reveals the less-than-wonderful side of the world's most wondrous creature in his hilarious series of single panel comics, Unicorn Being A Jerk. Take a gander at what these fantastical creatures are really like, in comics like "Unicorn Being a Stalker," "Unicorn Trying to Peek at Breast-feeding Woman's Nipple," "Unicorn Denying the Holocaust," and more. Readers of Moss's online strip will love the significantly expanded book, which features what Moss describes as "a whole bunch of new illustrations," in a collection perfect for fans of The Book of Bunny Suicides, Cyanide & Happiness, Penny Arcade and The Truth about Chuck Norris.
Unicorn Boy (Unicorn Boy #1)
by Dave RomanGo on a magical journey with this quirky, young reader's graphic novel about a boy who sprouts a unicorn horn and uses his newfound powers to help those in need!The first few years of Brian Reyes’ life were unremarkable—nothing weird about this kid, no sir. Then, one day, a bump appeared on his head, and it grew…and grew…and grew until it was a full-blown, sparkling, SINGING unicorn horn. That’s absolutely the last thing a shy kid like Brian wants, but destiny waits for no unicorn boy.Luckily, Brian has his reassuring pal Avery to keep him grounded as weird occurrences start stacking up, like Brian’s breakfast muffin talking to him, or a bizarre black cat offering him a business card. But when shadowy creatures from another realm kidnap Avery, Brian has to embrace his fate to rescue his best friend.In the pages of Unicorn Boy, Dave Roman has created a cast of charming oddballs reckoning with normal, every day problems—like heroic destinies and the fate of all magic in the universe. Readers of Narwal and Jelly, Grumpy Unicorn, and InvestiGators will endear themselves to these lovable characters.
The Unicorn Emergency #8 (Beasts Of Olympus Ser. #8)
by Lucy Coats Brett BeanHow will Demon, official Beast Keeper of Mount Olympus, heal a herd of sick unicorns before it's too late?Demon has just returned from a trip to Asgard when a brand-new set of disasters fall into his lap. Not only does he have a groggy volcano monster to deal with, but something seems to be wrong with the unicorns, too. Demon's only clue is a mysterious note saying "Unicorn Emergency!" left on his bed. What does it mean? And how will Demon figure out the problem and fix it before time runs out?
Unicorn Executions and Other Crazy Stuff My Kids Make Me Draw
by Steve Breen Kim Jong UnIn this quirky collection of drawings, Steve Breen explores the random (and sometimes horrifying) pleas of his children to draw everything from Jedi-corns to mutant presidents.Featuring one hundred original color and black-and-white illustrations by the Pulitzer Prize-winning illustrator, Unicorn Executions and Other Crap My Kids Make Me Draw will have kids and parents laughing at the silly and bizarre illustrations Breen's kids asked him to draw, like: Betty White punching out a silverback gorilla Ninjapus Disney princesses in forty years If humans had T-Rex proportions Vikings riding gorillas while blasting Metallica Secret mutant powers of US presidents And many more unusual requestsUnicorn Executions and Other Crap My Kids Make Me Draw is humorous, fun, witty, and a great gift for anyone looking for a laugh.
The Unicorn Girl: The Greenwich Village Trilogy Book Two
by Michael Kurland"Settle in for a trip to a wonderful half-real, half-imaginary era." — Richard A. Lupoff Mike and Chester, the alien-fighting hippies of The Butterfly Kid, have found their way from New York City to San Francisco — but that's just the first step of their odyssey. When Mike meets the girl of his dreams, he and Chester join her and her circus friends on a quest in search of a lost unicorn. Psychedelic hilarity ensues as they travel through time to encounter Victorian nudists, fire-breathing dragonettes, and live dinosaurs.Touted as a "brain-blowing science-fiction freak out" upon its 1969 publication, The Unicorn Girl is the second book in the Greenwich Village Trilogy, a shared-world scenario written by three different authors, all of whom appear in the books as characters. Dover Publications returns this cosmic adventure to print for the first time in nearly 40 years, along with its predecessor, The Butterfly Kid, and its sequel, The Probability Pad. This edition features an appreciative new Foreword by science-fiction author Richard A. Lupoff.
Unicorns: Believe in Magic
by Summersdale PublishersLife’s never dull when you have a unicorn by your side. These sparkly friends bring magic into our lives, from the tips of their magical horns to the swishy ends of their rainbow tails. Join us on an adventure into the awesomely cute world of unicorns, and whatever anyone says – don’t stop believing!
Unicorns: Believe in Magic
by Summersdale PublishersLife’s never dull when you have a unicorn by your side. These sparkly friends bring magic into our lives, from the tips of their magical horns to the swishy ends of their rainbow tails. Join us on an adventure into the awesomely cute world of unicorns, and whatever anyone says – don’t stop believing!
Unicorns 101
by Cale AtkinsonContained within this picture book is everything you ever wanted to know about the science behind unicorns: biology, history, diet, habitat and more. Join renowned unicorn scientists to learn the facts about this elusive species.The unicorn is the most noble and beautiful of all the beasts. Colorful and shiny coats, luscious manes that smell of cinnamon, sparkly hooves. But not much was known about this fascinating species . . . until now. Top professors working in the field of Unicorn Science have come together for the first time to create this comprehensive guide to the unicorn: Dr. Glitter Pants, Grand Unistorian; Dr. Sprinkle Steed, Doctor of Magic; Dr. Star Hoof, Rainbowmetrics Specialist; and Dr. Sugar Beard, Certified Hornologist. These highly trained scientists will reveal all of the secrets you've been dying to find out: What is a unicorn's horn made of? Why do I never see unicorns? What do unicorns like to eat? And what do unicorn homes look like? (Hint: there are guard'n gnomes, a ball pit and gummi bears growing on trees.)This book will tell you everything you ever wanted to know about unicorns--and more. But please, handle with care, or you may be seeing sparkles for weeks.