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Zeus Is A Dick
by Susie DonkinIn the beginning, everything was fine.* And then along came Zeus. *more or lessAhh Greek myths. Those glorious tales of heroism, honour and... petty squabbles, soap-opera drama and more weird sex than Fifty Shades of Grey could shake a stick at! It's about time we stopped respecting myths and started laughing at them. Did you know Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, was born of some discarded genitals? Or that Hera threw her own son off a mountain because he was ugly? Or that Apollo once kidnapped a boat full of people while pretending to be a dolphin? And let's not even get started on Zeus - king of the gods, ruler of the skies and a man who's never heard of self-control. In fact, if there's one thing most Greek myths have in common, it's that all the drama could have been avoided if SOMEONE could keep it in their toga...Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin takes us on a hilarious romp through mythology and the many times the gods (literally) screwed everything up! Stephen Fry's Mythos by way of Drunk History, Zeus is a Dick is perfect for those who like their myths with a heavy dollop of satire.'Who knew mythology was so bonkers? I am grateful - it had me laughing from the first page to the last.' - Miranda Hart'It's about time someone called him out on all this' - Hera, goddess of marriage, wife of Zeus'Worst. Father. Ever.' - Artemis, goddess of the hunt, daughter of Zeus'Oh yeah, focus on him. I never did anything wrong. Nothing to see here' - Poseidon, god of the seas, brother of Zeus'Just a real dick, honestly' - Many, many people
Zeus Is A Dick
by Susie DonkinIn the beginning, everything was fine.* And then along came Zeus. *more or lessAhh Greek myths. Those glorious tales of heroism, honour and... petty squabbles, soap-opera drama and more weird sex than Fifty Shades of Grey could shake a stick at! It's about time we stopped respecting myths and started laughing at them. Did you know Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, was born of some discarded genitals? Or that Hera threw her own son off a mountain because he was ugly? Or that Apollo once kidnapped a boat full of people while pretending to be a dolphin? And let's not even get started on Zeus - king of the gods, ruler of the skies and a man who's never heard of self-control. In fact, if there's one thing most Greek myths have in common, it's that all the drama could have been avoided if SOMEONE could keep it in their toga...Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin takes us on a hilarious romp through mythology and the many times the gods (literally) screwed everything up! Stephen Fry's Mythos by way of Drunk History, Zeus is a Dick is perfect for those who like their myths with a heavy dollop of satire.'Who knew mythology was so bonkers? I am grateful - it had me laughing from the first page to the last.' - Miranda Hart'It's about time someone called him out on all this' - Hera, goddess of marriage, wife of Zeus'Worst. Father. Ever.' - Artemis, goddess of the hunt, daughter of Zeus'Oh yeah, focus on him. I never did anything wrong. Nothing to see here' - Poseidon, god of the seas, brother of Zeus'Just a real dick, honestly' - Many, many people
Zeus Is A Dick
by Susie DonkinIn the beginning, everything was fine.* And then along came Zeus. *more or lessAhh Greek myths. Those glorious tales of heroism, honour and... petty squabbles, soap-opera drama and more weird sex than Fifty Shades of Grey could shake a stick at! It's about time we stopped respecting myths and started laughing at them - because they're really very weird. Did you know Aphrodite, goddess of love and beauty, was born of some discarded genitals? Or that Hera threw her own son off a mountain because he was ugly? Or that Apollo once kidnapped a boat full of people while pretending to be a dolphin? And let's not even get started on Zeus - king of the gods, ruler of the skies and a man who's never heard of self-control. In fact, if there's one thing most Greek myths have in common, it's that all the drama could have been avoided if SOMEONE could keep it in their toga...Horrible Histories writer Susie Donkin takes us on a hilarious romp through mythology and the many times the gods (literally) screwed everything up! Stephen Fry's Mythos by way of Drunk History, Zeus is a Dick is perfect for those who like their myths with a heavy dollop of satire."It's about time someone called him out on all this." - Hera, Goddess of Marriage, wife of Zeus"Worst. Father. Ever." - Artemis, Goddess of the Hunt, daughter of Zeus"Oh yeah, focus on him. I never did anything wrong. Nothing to see here." - Poseidon, God of the Seas, brother of Zeus"Just a real dick, honestly." - Many, many people(P) 2020 Hodder & Stoughton Ltd
Zeus On The Loose (Zeus #1)
by John DoughertyI am the great and mighty Zeus, mortal- give me one good reason why I shouldn't smite you here and now!'Alex's class are learning about the Ancient Greeks. That's why Alex makes a temple (out of loo rolls and a cornflakes box) for the Greek god Zeus. He doesn't expect the god himself to turn up, borrow his mum's nightie and demand a sacrifice at half-past five in the morning. Even worse, Zeus reckons it's time for another Trojan War - in the school playground! Zeus is on the loose-
Zigzag
by Loris LesynskiAfter hundreds of school visits, Loris knows that kindergarten kids have their own kind of wit. Too old for nursery rhymes and too young for irony, kindergarteners crave a playfulness that Zigzag zupplies by the zillions! Bursting with zaniness, these poems focus on the pleasure of sound and the rhythm of language, and each contains an inherent invitation to join in.
Zilot and Other Important Rhymes
by Bob Odenkirk Erin Odenkirk Nate Odenkirk Naomi OdenkirkEmmy Award-winning and New York Times bestselling writer, comedian, and actor Bob Odenkirk and his daughter, illustrator Erin Odenkirk, present poetic nonsense for all ages perfect for fans of Shel Silverstein and Jack Prelutsky! <p><p>Bob Odenkirk began writing these poems with his children when they were little, compiling the poetry into a homemade book entitled Olde Time Rhymes. He wanted Nate and Erin to understand that actual people had written the books the family loved to read and to instill in them the feeling that they could be writers and illustrators themselves. Almost twenty years later, when the Odenkirks found themselves quarantined under the same roof, they revisited these mostly silly, sometimes poignant works. It wasn't until Erin began to create illustrations to accompany the words, though, that the book grew to be something much bigger than an Odenkirk family treasure. <p><p>From the titular made-up word for a blanket fort, an adorable dog with a penchant for the zoomies, and a father teaching his kids how umbrellas work, the subjects of these works, complemented by Erin’s whimsical and detailed linework, come alive on these pages. Featuring over seventy poems, Zilot & Other Important Rhymes will delight readers young and old.
Zilot & Other Important Rhymes
by Bob OdenkirkEmmy Award-winning and New York Times bestselling writer, comedian, and actor Bob Odenkirk and his daughter, illustrator Erin Odenkirk, present poetic nonsense for all ages perfect for fans of Shel Silverstein and Jack Prelutsky! Bob Odenkirk began writing these poems with his children when they were little, compiling the poetry into a homemade book entitled Olde Time Rhymes. He wanted Nate and Erin to understand that actual people had written the books the family loved to read and to instill in them the feeling that they could be writers and illustrators themselves. Almost twenty years later, when the Odenkirks found themselves quarantined under the same roof, they revisited these mostly silly, sometimes poignant works. It wasn't until Erin began to create illustrations to accompany the words, though, that the book grew to be something much bigger than an Odenkirk family treasure. From the titular made-up word for a blanket fort, an adorable dog with a penchant for the zoomies, and a father teaching his kids how umbrellas work, the subjects of these works, complemented by Erin&’s whimsical and detailed linework, come alive on these pages. Featuring over seventy poems, Zilot & Other Important Rhymes will delight readers young and old.
Zimmer Men: The Trials and Tribulations of the Ageing Cricketer
by Marcus BerkmannTen years after his classic Rain Men - 'cricket's answer to Fever Pitch,' said the Daily Telegraph - Marcus Berkmann returns to the strange and wondrous world of village cricket, where players sledge their team-mates, umpires struggle to count up to six, the bails aren't on straight and the team that fields after a hefty tea invariably loses. This time he's on the trail of the Ageing Cricketer, having suddenly realised that he is one himself and playing in a team with ten others every weekend. In their minds they run around the field as fast as ever; it's only their legs that let them down. ZIMMER MEN asks all the important questions of middle-aged cricketers. Why is that boundary rope suddenly so far away? Are you doomed to getting worse as a cricketer, or could you get better? How many pairs of trousers will your girth destroy in one summer? Chronicling the 2004 season, with its many humiliating defeats and random injuries, this coruscatingly funny new book laughs in the face of middle age, and starts thinking seriously about buying a convertible.
Zimmer Men: The Trials and Tribulations of the Ageing Cricketer
by Marcus BerkmannTen years after his classic Rain Men - 'cricket's answer to Fever Pitch,' said the Daily Telegraph - Marcus Berkmann returns to the strange and wondrous world of village cricket, where players sledge their team-mates, umpires struggle to count up to six, the bails aren't on straight and the team that fields after a hefty tea invariably loses. This time he's on the trail of the Ageing Cricketer, having suddenly realised that he is one himself and playing in a team with ten others every weekend. In their minds they run around the field as fast as ever; it's only their legs that let them down. ZIMMER MEN asks all the important questions of middle-aged cricketers. Why is that boundary rope suddenly so far away? Are you doomed to getting worse as a cricketer, or could you get better? How many pairs of trousers will your girth destroy in one summer? Chronicling the 2004 season, with its many humiliating defeats and random injuries, this coruscatingly funny new book laughs in the face of middle age, and starts thinking seriously about buying a convertible.
Zinc Alloy: The Complete Comics Collection (Stone Arch Graphic Novels)
by Donald LemkeZack Allen loved comic book superheroes so much that he decided to become one of his own. Now he blasts around Metro City as Zinc Alloy, saving the citizens from disasters and evildoers. In this complete collection of Zinc Alloy adventures, Zack discovers his own origin story, goes head-to-head with the evil Coldfiner, faces off against a robo Frankenstein, and finds out what happens when his robot suit comes off. Zack might just be the greatest hero ever known . . . if he can figure out his pesky new robo-suit, that is.
Zipper Mouth
by Laurie WeeksSelected by Dave Eggers for Best American Non-required Reading, Laurie Weeks' Zipper Mouth is a short tome of infinitesimal reach, a tiny star to light the land."--Eileen Myles, author of Inferno. Zipper Mouth is a brilliant rabbit hole of pitch-black hilarity, undead obsession, the horror of the everyday, and drugs drugs drugs."--Michelle Tea, co-founder of Sister Spit. In this extraordinary debut novel, Laurie Weeks captures the freedom and longing of life on the edge in New York City. Ranting letters to Judy Davis and Sylvia Plath, an unrequited fixation on a straight best friend, exalted nightclub epiphanies, devastating morning-after hangovers--Zipper Mouth chronicles the exuberance and mortification of a junkie, and transcends the chaos of everyday life. Laurie Weeks has been a superstar in the New York downtown writing world since the 1980s. Her fiction and other writings have been published in The Baffler, Vice, Nest, Index Magazine, LA Weekly, and Semiotext(e)'s The New Fuck You. A portion of this novel appeared recently in Dave Eggers' The Best American Nonrequired Reading. Weeks has taught in writing programs at University of California San Diego and the New School, and has toured the United States with the girl-punk group Sister Spit.
Zipper Mouth: A Novel
by Laurie WeeksThis novel of a young lesbian addict in &’90s NYC &“recalls Naked Lunch&” with &“dreamy, impressionistic, and rapturous&” prose—&“an ecstatic love story&” (Publishers Weekly). Written in the brash, fervent voice of the young and addicted, this debut novel from underground superstar Laurie Weeks &“is a short tome of infinitesimal reach, a tiny star to light the land&” (Eileen Myles). Strung out on dope and unrequited love for her straight best friend, Jane, the novel&’s unnamed narrator zig-zags between glimpses of her childhood and early teens to the raw, super-caffeinated world of her present on the streets of New York. Chosen by Dave Eggers as Best American Nonrequired Reading and a winner of the 2012 Lambda Literary Awards, this novel encapsulates the soaring highs and gritty lows of the junkie and the reckless intensity of love. &“The book&’s pulse is evident on every page.&” (Lambda Literary) &“Zipper Mouth is a brilliant rabbit hole of pitch-black hilarity, undead obsession, the horror of the everyday, and drug, drugs, drugs.&” —Michelle Tea, co-founder of SisterSpit
Zits Apocalypse: Are You Ready? (Zits Ser. #32)
by Jerry Scott Jim BorgmanTeenagers are a lot like zombies--slow-moving, difficult to communicate with, and always, always hungry. Luckily, Zits Apocalypse is here to shed some light on the ups, downs, and in-betweens of parenting teens. Join the Duncan family--Connie, Walt, and Jeremy--as they grapple with modern technology, confront an endless sea of dirty laundry, and learn to bridge the cultural divide between parents and teenagers.Zits Apocalypse offers a light-hearted yet insightful look at the multifaceted lives of modern teens and their families, complemented with annotations from the creators. From financial trouble to the perils of young love, this collection broaches relevant and familiar topics with with, wit, humor, and affection.
Zits from Python Pit #6
by Keith Zoo M. D. PayneAfter defeating an evil mummy in Egypt, Chris and the others are mystically summoned to the heart of the Congo by a new evil. There they find a legendary serpent beast that has infected all the kids with nasty, blistery, snake-filled zits. Together with their monster friends, the kids have to uncover the secret of the Python Pit and defeat this new slithering threat before it's too late.
Zits: Shredded (Zits #2)
by Jerry ScottZits jumps from the comics page to the bookshelf, and Zits: Shredded is perfect for fans of James Patterson's Homeroom Diaries as well as the Zits comic strip!Jeremy Duncan and his friends Hector and Pierce are hitting the road! That is, if they can squeeze enough french fries to get their newly veggie oil–powered van to Dog Tired Records in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. It's road trip time!Comics genius Stan Lee calls Zits "a comedic masterpiece."Featuring black-and-white illustrations on every page, Zits: Shredded is based on the hit syndicated comic strip.
Zix Zexy Ztories
by Curt LeviantA humorous collection of love stories from an award-winning author who has been called &“a compassionate and witty satirist&” (Kirkus Reviews). From Holocaust survivors to Yiddish artists, a petty thief and a Polish shiksa with a passion for Jewish history, what unites the delectable characters in Curt Leviant&’s witty collection of romantic tales is the universal desire for love and admiration. With settings as various as the Deep South, Boston, New York, Italy, Israel, each story is a wry look at romantic pursuit, each relationship as unique as the lovers themselves. Whether or not love succeeds for Leviant&’s all-too-human characters, the journey is always filled with humor and heart.
Zoe and the Tormented Tycoon (The Balfour Brides)
by Kate HewittEveryone's talking about Zoe Balfour-the illegitimate heiress! She flies to New York to discover more about her biological family and goes a little wild, shocking even herself by spending one night with a gorgeous stranger....The gradual loss of his sight has caused Manhattan mogul Max Monroe to close himself off from the world-a wife and child are most certainly not on his agenda! How will Zoe, once just a spoiled socialite and now unexpectedly pregnant, unlock the dark heart of a man who may never see his own child?
Zoey Is Too Drunk for This Dystopia (Zoey Ashe #3)
by Jason ParginZoey is Too Drunk for This Dystopia is the latest installment in New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin's thrilling Zoey Ashe sci-fi series.Zoey Ashe wakes up every day feeling like she’s trying to steer a battleship while tied to the propeller. The twenty-three-year-old heiress to a criminal empire is navigating a futuristic world of high-tech liars and cutthroats, forced to learn the rules of a devious game she never asked to play. Now she’s facing a crisis that is both bigger and stranger than all that came before:The gleaming new city of Tabula Ra$a is hosting its massive annual music festival, which every year precedes the equally massive annual drunken riot. This is all organized by Zoey's people, including the riot. As her advisors explain, the citizens need a little controlled chaos now and then. Zoey, however, fears the chaos will not stay controlled for long.When a horrific crime is broadcast live on an all-seeing social network, Zoey and her team suspect a carefully-stage hoax arranged by one of the Tabula Ra$a’s shadowy power players. But in a city in which lies are always served in layers, even that explanation will prove far too simple.
Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick: A Novel (Zoey Ashe #2)
by Jason Pargin David WongTHE NATIONAL BESTSELLERNew York Times bestselling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest—and arguably greatest—sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe Series.In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the twenty-three year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job.The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos.“Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe Series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland.” (Kirkus Reviews)
Zombie Apocalypse (Tales from the Scaremaster #4)
by B. A. FradeA new entry in the frightfully fun series perfect for fans of Goosebumps.Ryan and Tyler are obsessed with zombies-each year, they tie for first place at their school's annual costume contest with their grosser than gross zombie costumes. When some seriously spooky looking zombies show up at the dance this year, the boys think someone has called in a Hollywood makeup artist to finally snag the trophy. Little do they know, this isn't a case of special effects...it's a Zombie Apocalypse, courtesy of the Scaremaster! Can they outwit the Scaremaster and save their classmates, or will their brains be on the menu?
A Zombie Ate My Homework (Project Z #1)
by Tommy GreenwaldFrom the hilarious mind behind the Crimebiters series comes a new trilogy that fans of The Last Kids on Earth will love to pieces (literally). Arnold Z. Ombee has escaped a secret government lab that's developing zombies. Young, scared, and alone, he is found by the Kinders, a warmhearted couple who take him in. The Kinders decide Arnold will become part of their family. They help him disguise his undead appearance and teach him how to act like a human boy. After a lot of practice, he's ready for the ultimate test: Fifth grade!
Zombie Butts from Uranus! (Butts #2)
by Andy GriffithsThis thrilling sequel to the bestselling "The Day My Butt Went Psycho" boldly goes where no butt has gone before. Can young Zack stop an invasion of Zombie Butts from taking over the planet? Or is Earth doomed to suffer the tyranny of the stinkiest space invaders this side of Uranus?
Zombie Butts from Uranus! (Andy Griffiths' Butt Series)
by Andy GriffithsIn this exciting sequel to The Day My Butt Went Psycho, a boy and his butt must protect the planet from ruthless rumps from outer space.Zack Freeman is on his way to becoming a first-rate butt-fighter. He has gone butt-to-butt with all kinds of stinky scoundrels and butts-gone-bad. But even our doody-full hero is a-gassed by these latest stench invaders.Their odor is unstoppable.Their mission is downright foul.And they won’t rest until Earth is wiped away by their nasty fumes! They’re Zombie Butts from Uranus! And the galaxy is but one boy (and his butt) away from total reek-dom . . . Praise for Zombie Butts from Uranus“Delivers innumerable gag-worthy gags.” —Publishers Weekly
Zombie Cat: The Tale of a Decomposing Kitty
by Bethany Straker Isabel AthertonTiddles is a suave, carefree kitty cat whose only pleasures in life are eating mice, wooing the ladies, and being generally apathetic toward his owner, Jake. But when a toxic spill occurs outside of town, Tiddles finds himself savagely attacked by a nasty-looking radioactive field mouse, and he wakes up as one of the undead. However, he still retains a bit of compassion and refrains--for now--from zombie Bacchanalian delights, such as eating living beings' brains! Umm . . . any brains at all!However, Tiddles, a.k.a. Zombie Cat, is decomposing rapidly and would prefer to live a normal life in the zombie apocalypse with his owner, Jake. But will Jake take in his former cuddly pet or will ZC be doomed to roam the streets trying to avoid the inevitable pull of his undead yearnings? Zombie Cat is a humorous adult picture book in the vein of Pat the Zombie and Ten Little Zombies: A Love Story. Isabel Atherton's quirky storytelling combined with Bethany Straker's captivating (and slightly grotesque!) illustrations make this the perfect addition to any Halloween collection. It's the ideal gift for any crazed zombie fanatic--or equally crazed cat lover.
The Zombie Chasers
by Steve Wolfhard John KloepferZombie Attack! When brain-gobbling zombies invade, a sleepover at Zack Clarke's house quickly turns into a Level-3 creep-over. The undead have infested the streets, filling the air with deathly moans and the stench of rotting flesh. Meet the Zombie Chasers: Zack: His house is a wreck, his sister's a zombie, and he's stolen his mom's Volvo. He's totally going to be grounded if he survives the night. . . . Rice: He's studied The Zombie Survival Guide, but is he prepared to fight the living dead? Madison: She seriously cannot believe her best friend has become a zombie and left her alone with these dweebs! They're on a mission to save the world, but first they have to survive their flesh-eating, half-dead neighbors-and one another. Can the Zombie Chasers make it out alive?