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You are the Coolest: Positive Puns for Kids (Illustrated Jokes)
by Calee M. LeeA puntastic book to help boost a child&’s self-esteem, because every kid needs to hear, &“I&’m not kitten, I think you&’re the best!&” This collection of positive puns is sure to make any kid chuckle. From &“Taco &’bout an awesome kid!&” to &“I be-leaf in you!&” this book is filled will illustrated affirmations that provide a daily reminder that they are loved. You Are the Coolest makes a great gift for graduations, the first day of School, Valentine&’s Day, birthdays and more. Brenda Ponnay&’s fun illustrations bring the puns to life and are appropriate for pinning on a refrigerator, bulletin board, or flipping through on a regular basis.
You Bantering Me?: The life story of Love Islands biggest star
by Chris HughesChris Hughes walked away from the sizzling hot, smash hit show Love Island as its biggest star. Viewers fell in love with this cheeky, happy-go-lucky guy who surprised people by being unafraid to show his vulnerable side just as readily as having a laugh with his mates in the sun. They were captivated by the rollercoaster relationship between Chris and girlfriend Olivia and entertained by the bromance that developed between Chris and best pal Kem.But what really makes Chris tick? What made this down-to-earth country lad swap life on the farm with his family for red carpets and newspaper front pages? Chris reveals all about his life before the hit reality TV show and how the crippling anxiety he has suffered from before still haunts him to this day. He shares how he has found fame and adjusted to his new life as well as the things he is learning about himself as his life is put under the spotlight for all to see.With his trademark sense of humour and way with words, this is Chris's take on the world, his life laid bare.
You Bantering Me?: The life story of Love Island’s biggest star
by Chris HughesChris Hughes walked away from the sizzling hot, smash hit show Love Island as its biggest star. Viewers fell in love with this cheeky, happy-go-lucky guy who surprised people by being unafraid to show his vulnerable side just as readily as having a laugh with his mates in the sun. They were captivated by the rollercoaster relationship between Chris and girlfriend Olivia and entertained by the bromance that developed between Chris and best pal Kem.But what really makes Chris tick? What made this down-to-earth country lad swap life on the farm with his family for red carpets and newspaper front pages? Chris reveals all about his life before the hit reality TV show and how the crippling anxiety he has suffered from before still haunts him to this day. He shares how he has found fame and adjusted to his new life as well as the things he is learning about himself as his life is put under the spotlight for all to see.With his trademark sense of humour and way with words, this is Chris's take on the world, his life laid bare.
You Bantering Me?: The life story of Love Island's biggest star
by Chris HughesWith the nation gripped by Love Island fever, the show's most popular contestant ever shares his unique take on the world in a book that will be hilarious, endearing, heartfelt and as lovable as its author.Chris Hughes walked away from the sizzling hot, smash hit show Love Island as its biggest star. Viewers fell in love with this cheeky, happy-go-lucky guy who surprised people by being unafraid to show his vulnerable side just as readily as having a laugh with his mates in the sun. They were captivated by the rollercoaster relationship between Chris and girlfriend Olivia and entertained by the bromance that developed between Chris and best pal Kem.But what really makes Chris tick? What made this down-to-earth country lad swap life on the farm with his family for red carpets and newspaper front pages? Chris reveals all about his life before the hit reality TV show and how the crippling anxiety he has suffered from before still haunts him to this day. He shares how he has found fame and adjusted to his new life as well as the things he is learning about himself as his life is put under the spotlight for all to see.With his trademark sense of humour and way with words, this is Chris's take on the world, his life laid bare.(P)2018 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
You Be Daddy (You Be)
by Karla ClarkA tired daddy lets his son have a turn being the parent at bedtime in Karla Clark'sYou Be Daddy, a humorously charming companion picture book to You Be Mommy, featuring illustrations by Steph Lew.Daddy’s too tired to be Daddy tonight. Can you be Daddy and hug me tight? In this clever, rhyming picture book, a father tells his child that he's simply too tired to be Daddy tonight and asks his son to take over for him. An utterly relatable theme told with humor and heart provides a story parents and children will delight in reading together at bedtime.
You Be Mother: The debut novel from the author of Sorrow and Bliss
by Meg MasonEVENING STANDARD'S 'BEST FICTION BOOKS TO LOOK FORWARD TO IN 2022'What do you do, when you find the perfect family......and it's not yours?'Rare and delightful . . . A beautifully crafted novel about female relationships. I couldn't put this book down'Marie ClaireThe only thing Abi ever wanted was a proper family. So when she falls pregnant by an Australian exchange student in London, she cannot pack up her old life in Croydon fast enough, to start all over in Sydney and make her own family.It is not until she arrives, with three-week-old Jude in tow, that Abi realises Stu is not quite ready to be a father after all. And he is the only person she knows in this hot, dazzling, confusing city, where the job of making friends is turning out to be harder than she thought.That is, until she meets Phyllida, her wealthy, charming, imperious older neighbour, and they become almost like mother and daughter.If only Abi had not told Phil that teeny tiny small lie, the very first day they met...
You Belong To Me
by Patricia SargeantSometimes Your Biggest Fan. . . Writer Nicole Collins is delighted when she learns her first book will be made into a movie by Celestial Productions until she finds out who owns the company: Malcolm Bryant, her ex-husband. Nicole still loves him, but she knows Malcolm is still the same man who crumbles in the face of adversity. And then there are those threatening letters. . . Can Be Your Worst Nightmare. . . Somewhere out there is a deranged fan, one who has adopted Nicole's characters as his own family. . . and he's not about to see his loved ones distorted by the camera lens. Once Macolm's business partner is mysteriously killed, Nicole realizes this is no movie script: Her life is now in danger. With a demented-fan-turned-killer closing in, the only person who may be able to save Nicole is Malcolm the man she so desperately hopes will finally make a stand. . .
You Belong with Me: A Novel
by Mhairi McFarlane"The whole time I'm reading a Mhairi McFarlane novel, I feel like a fist is squeezing my heart… she is so ridiculously talented." – Emily HenryInternational bestseller Mhairi McFarlane delivers a charming, hilarious, and heartfelt new novel about a woman adjusting to life in the spotlight when she begins a relationship with a famous actor, in this highly anticipated follow-up to Who's That Girl. She found The One. But when everyone wants him, can she keep him?Edie found true love. And on Christmas day, he’s knocking at her door.Elliot Owen is handsome, charming and basically Hollywood royalty. And, he insists, madly in love with Edie Thompson: an ordinary citizen with tomato soup stains on her coat. It’s going to be complicated. Edie will have to learn how to live in the limelight, but they’re just too good together not to try.Edie discovers it’s not easy when the press is the third person in your relationship, or when stories start leaking that force you to mistrust the motives of those around you. It’s tricky when you’re separated by an ocean and gorgeous co-stars and charismatic new colleagues are closer by. It’s harder still when your past is raked up by envious people determined to destroy your present.Edie already knows how it feels to be infamous, now she’s going to find out what it’s like to be famous.Are she and Elliot a fairytale, or a cautionary fable about getting what you wish for?
You Bet Your Heart
by Danielle ParkerA riveting, swoon-worthy teen romance centered on two high achievers fighting for the title of high school valedictorian and falling in love along the way, from debut author Danielle Parker.Sasha Johnson-Sun might not know everything—like how to fully heal after her dad&’s passing or how many more Saturdays her mom can spend cleaning houses. But the one thing Sasha is certain of? She will graduate this year as Skyline High&’s class valedictorian.At least, she was sure before the principal calls Sasha and her cute, effortlessly gifted ex–best friend, Ezra Davis-Goldberg, into his office to deliver earth-shattering news: they&’re tied for valedictorian and the scholarship attached…This outcome can&’t be left to chance. So, Sasha and Ezra agree on a best-of-three, winner-take-all academic bet. As they go head-to-head, they are forced not only to reexamine why they drifted apart but also to figure out who they&’ve become since. With her future hanging in the balance, Sasha must choose: honor her family&’s sacrifices by winning (at all costs) or give her heart a shot at finding happiness?
You Bring the Distant Near
by Mitali Perkins<p>This elegant young adult novel captures the immigrant experience for one Indian-American family with humor and heart. Told in alternating teen voices across three generations, <i>You Bring the Distant Near</i> explores sisterhood, first loves, friendship, and the inheritance of culture--for better or worse. <p>From a grandmother worried that her children are losing their Indian identity to a daughter wrapped up in a forbidden biracial love affair to a granddaughter social-activist fighting to preserve Bengali tigers, award-winning author Mitali Perkins weaves together the threads of a family growing into an American identity. <p>Here is a sweeping story of five women at once intimately relatable and yet entirely new. <P><b>2018 Walter Honors Book (Teen Category)</b>
You Can Bet on That (Dear Dumb Diary Year Two #5)
by Jim BentonThe hilarious and bestselling series from Jim Benton continues!Jamie, Isabella, and Angeline have known each other for a long time. They've even become friends -- whether Jamie likes it or not. But when the trio starts a friendly competition, all bets are off. The loser will be treated to a game of Dare or Worse Dare... with Isabella. (And Jamie's pretty sure that's like having a banana-peeling contest with a starving monkey. The monkey always wins.) What could go wrong? Probably everything. And it's probably all that blondwad Angeline's fault. Probably. Jamie still has no idea that anyone is reading her diary, so please, please, please don't tell her. And definitely don't tell her that she's the star of her very own Dear Dumb Diary movie, available on DVD. (Her glamorous ego might not be able to handle it.)
You Can Date Boys When You're Forty: Dave Barry on Parenting and Other Topics He Knows Very Little About
by Dave BarryA brilliantly funny exploration of the twin mysteries of parenthood and families from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times-bestselling author of Insane City. In his New York Times-bestselling I'll Mature When I'm Dead, Dave Barry embarked on the treacherous seas of adulthood, to hilarious results. What comes next? Parenthood, of course, and families.In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (he's serious about that title: "When my daughter can legally commence dating--February 24, 2040--I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased") to funeral instructions ("I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner"), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a father's ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert ("It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers").Let's face it: families not only enrich our lives every day, they drive us completely around the bend. Thank goodness we have Dave Barry as our guide!
You Can Date Boys When You're Forty
by Dave BarryA brilliantly funny exploration of the twin mysteries of parenthood and families from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times-bestselling author of Insane City. In his New York Times-bestselling I'll Mature When I'm Dead, Dave Barry embarked on the treacherous seas of adulthood, to hilarious results. What comes next? Parenthood, of course, and families. In uproarious, brand-new pieces, Barry tackles everything from family trips, bat mitzvah parties and dating (he's serious about that title: "When my daughter can legally commence dating-February 24, 2040-I intend to monitor her closely, even if I am deceased") to funeral instructions ("I would like my eulogy to be given by William Shatner"), the differences between male and female friendships, the deeper meaning of Fifty Shades of Grey, and a father's ultimate sacrifice: accompanying his daughter to a Justin Bieber concert ("It turns out that the noise teenaged girls make to express happiness is the same noise they would make if their feet were being gnawed off by badgers"). Let's face it: families not only enrich our lives every day, they drive us completely around the bend. Thank goodness we have Dave Barry as our guide!
You Can Do It!: Speak Your Mind, America
by Rob SchneiderAn unfiltered and outrageously funny commentary on the threats to free speech in America from the legendary comedian, actor, and Emmy-nominated SNL writer. Rob Schneider&’s childhood in the San Francisco Bay area with parents of mixed-race backgrounds shaped his view of the world: that America affords the greatest opportunity for peoples from all nations and all faiths. But today, in this world gone mad, free speech is under attack. And Schneider keeps finding himself in controversy for questioning what woke ideology is doing to our great nation. Still, he refuses to be censored. In his debut book, Schneider will make you laugh out loud as he tells his unique story of a Hollywood-comedian-turned-vocal-advocate for open dialogue. He takes readers along for a ride through his life in show business (where he&’s starred in 27 movies with his friend Adam Sandler), shares stories from the glory days of Saturday Night Live, and makes a persuasive case for fearlessness in speech and pushing the boundaries in comedy. Comedians matter because they have a unique position in society to stand up against tyranny. In this book, Schneider shares never-before-told personal stories about Chris Farley, Norm Macdonald, Christopher Walken, Dana Carvey, and Martin Landau, and other comedy legends. You Can Do It! is part celeb memoir, part warning, and part siren call to action. It was said during the days of Covid the difference between a conspiracy theory and the truth was about six months. Influenced by his own experiences in Hollywood, Schneider illustrates his points about free expression with provocative commentary on things you aren't suppose to question, like identity politics, Covid tyranny, "global boiling," medical freedoms and more. Schneider refuses to believe he&’s dangerous for saying what he thinks. In fact, the opposite is true—it&’s dangerous to not question the narrative. It&’s dangerous to not exercise your free speech. That&’s what Rob Schneider&’s doing. And as this humorous, shocking, irreverent but insightful book shows readers, you can do it too.
You Can Fool All of the People All the Time
by Art BuchwaldA collection of humorous columns many of which deal with Ronald Reagan and his presidency, by the famous wit.
You Can Get Arrested for That: 2 Guys, 25 Dumb Laws, 1 Absurd American Crime Spree
by Rich SmithWhat started out as an innocent board game inspired Rich Smith to undertake a daring crime spree across the United States Â- a journey to break the dumbest American laws on the statute books. In the Land of the Free, it is illegal to:- Lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory (South Dakota)- Play a trumpet with the intention of luring someone to a store (California)- Catch a fish with a lasso (Tennessee) Rich's first problem was narrowing down the huge choice of laws to just twenty-five. The second was persuading his mate Bateman to come along, to do some of the driving Â- and possibly provide bail money. The third was finding someone who was willing to help him break his first law: one of San Francisco's oldest statutes, which related to oral sex. No, Bateman couldn't help with that one. Join Rich as he attempts his one-man crime wave Â- almost as difficult as a one-man Mexican wave.
You Can Go Your Own Way
by Eric Smith"A sweetly charming love story that leaves the reader with a lasting sense of hope.&” —Nicola Yoon, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Everything, Everything and The Sun Is Also a Star"The perfect novel to snuggle up with.&” —Emily Henry, New York Times bestselling author of Beach Read No one ever said love would be easy…but did they mention it would be freezing?Adam Stillwater is in over his head. At least, that&’s what his best friend would say. And his mom. And the guy who runs the hardware store down the street. But this pinball arcade is the only piece of his dad that Adam has left, and he&’s determined to protect it from Philadelphia&’s newest tech mogul, who wants to turn it into another one of his cold, lifeless gaming cafés.Whitney Mitchell doesn&’t know how she got here. Her parents split up. Her boyfriend dumped her. Her friends seem to have changed overnight. And now she&’s spending her senior year running social media for her dad&’s chain of super successful gaming cafés—which mostly consists of trading insults with that decrepit old pinball arcade across town.But when a huge snowstorm hits, Adam and Whitney suddenly find themselves trapped inside the arcade. Cut off from their families, their worlds, and their responsibilities, the tension between them seems to melt away, leaving something else in its place. But what happens when the storm stops?
You Can Have a Dog When I'm Dead: Essays on Life at an Angle
by Paul BenedettiHamilton Spectator columnist Paul Benedetti’s essays paint a wonderfully funny portrait of family life today. Paul Benedetti has a good job, a great family, and successful neighbours — but that doesn’t stop him from using it all as grist for a series of funny, real, and touching essays about a world he can’t quite navigate. Benedetti misses his son, who is travelling in Europe, misplaces his groceries, and forgets to pick up his daughter at school. He endures a colonoscopy and vainly attempts to lower his Body Mass Index — all with mixed results. He loves his long-suffering wife, worries about his aging parents and his three children, who seem to spend a lot of time battling online trolls, having crushes on vampires, and littering their rooms with enough junk to start a landfill.
You Can Keep That to Yourself: A Comprehensive List of What Not to Say to Black People, for Well-Intentioned People of Pallor
by Adam Smyer“An alphabetized short list of things not to say to African-Americans . . . Smyer’s hilarious sampler offers astute observations on race and culture.” —Publishers WeeklyGreetings, well-intentioned person of pallor!Your good intentions used to be enough. But in these diverse and divisive times, some people would hold you accountable for your actions. You were not raised for such unfairness. You need help. Now, Daquan—that black coworker you are referring to when you claim to have black friends—is here to give you that help, as you navigate perilous small talk with African Americans.How to use: Whenever you are confronted with an African American and you feel compelled to blurt out an observation about her hair or to liken your Tesla lease to slavery, take a moment to consult this reference. If the keen insight you want to share is listed herein . . . you can keep that to yourself.“By turns funny, sarcastic, and possibly true for many Black (and non-Black) Americans . . . While there is humor throughout, there is also a strong sense of anger, annoyance, and weariness when it comes to the Black experience in America. And though Smyer is addressing white people specifically, his humor can be appreciated by anyone who needs a good chuckle (and an education).” —Library Journal“A balm for tongues bitten and comments swallowed . . . A bitingly humorous compendium of the absurd subtle racism of the American workplace.” —Kirkus Reviews
You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can't Make It Scuba Dive): A Novel
by Robert Bruce CormackDown the street, a dog is running around a lamp post on a leash. I feel like I'm on a similar trajectory.Sam Bennett is the last of a dying breed, a former Mad Man, now made redundant after 30 years at the same advertising agency. Left with his awards and a case of Bulgarian whiskey (which he still can't remember buying), Sam retreats to his home, awaits the summer arrival of his daughter and crazy son-in-law, Muller, is plagued by panic attacks and has an incident involving a pressed ham on a liquor store window with a young security guard named Max.With the ground feeling like a trampoline, Sam sets out to do the one thing Mary, his wife, wants more than anything else--a grandchild. It won't be easy with Muller, his suicidal son-in-law, jumping off roofs and drinking green paint, but life is full of surprises. Meanwhile, Muller wants Max's mom, and Max's dad, Otis, has the craziest online show in Chicago called, "Otis Cries For You." As Sam's doctor Krupsky tells him, "Life's a crapshoot. At least you filled the cheap seats."Sam is about to learn the greatest lessons in life, even if it means stealing his neighbor's pot, and getting more people stoned than he ever imagined possible.
You Can Only Yell at Me for One Thing at a Time: Rules for Couples
by Patricia Marx Roz ChastThe perfect Valentine’s Day or anniversary gift: An illustrated collection of love and relationship advice from New Yorker writer Patricia Marx, with illustrations from New Yorker cartoonist Roz Chast.Everyone’s heard the old advice for a healthy relationship: Never go to bed angry. Play hard to get. Sexual favors in exchange for cleaning up the cat vomit is a good and fair trade. Okay, not that last one. It’s one of the tips in You Can Only Yell at Me for One Thing at a Time: Rules for Couples by the authors of Why Don’t You Write My Eulogy Now So I Can Correct It: A Mother’s Suggestions. This guide will make you laugh, remind you why your relationship is better than everyone else’s, and solve all your problems. Nuggets of advice include:If you must breathe, don’t breathe so loudly.It is easier to stay inside and wait for the snow to melt than to fight about who should shovel.Queen-sized beds, king-sized blankets. Why not give this book to your significant or insignificant other, your anti-Valentine’s Day crusader pal, or anyone who can’t live with or without love?
You Can Pick Me Up at Peggy's Cove
by Brian DoyleWhen Ryan's dad runs away from home because of the change of life, Ryan is sent to spend the summer with his aunt in Peggy's Cove. He goes fishing, almost gets into big trouble and learns a lot about tourist behavior, but most of all he misses his dad and hopes he'll come back soon.
You Can Take the Cat out of Slough . . .
by Chris PascoeYou can take a cat to water but you can't make it think. Last summer, Chris Pascoe decided to do something monumentally stupid. He decided to stay at home with his two-and-a-half-year-old daughter Maya and disaster-prone tabby Birmingham, Brum for short. And also with Brum's rather vicious live-in-partner-girl-cat Sammy, who he intended mainly not to wake. Let biting cats lie. Why he believed time with Brum would, with all the years of contrary evidence, be quality he's not at all sure . . .The result is a series of tales of death-defying feats. Paddling pools, gazebos, small birds and kitchens - all aspects of normal life can take a dangerous turn with the presence of Brum. Pascoe tries to train the tabby, restrain the tabby and even researches the stories of other danger cats in a bid to keep Brum alive a bit longer. And amazingly, despite the efforts of his exuberant two-year-old with a plastic mallet, he still is.
You Can Take the Cat out of Slough . . .
by Chris PascoeYou can take a cat to water but you can't make it think. Last summer, Chris Pascoe decided to do something monumentally stupid. He decided to stay at home with his two-and-a-half-year-old daughter Maya and disaster-prone tabby Birmingham, Brum for short. And also with Brum's rather vicious live-in-partner-girl-cat Sammy, who he intended mainly not to wake. Let biting cats lie. Why he believed time with Brum would, with all the years of contrary evidence, be quality he's not at all sure . . .The result is a series of tales of death-defying feats. Paddling pools, gazebos, small birds and kitchens - all aspects of normal life can take a dangerous turn with the presence of Brum. Pascoe tries to train the tabby, restrain the tabby and even researches the stories of other danger cats in a bid to keep Brum alive a bit longer. And amazingly, despite the efforts of his exuberant two-year-old with a plastic mallet, he still is.
You Cannot Mess This Up: A True Story That Never Happened
by Amy Weinland DaughtersIt's 2014 and Amy Daughters is a forty-six-year old stay-at-home mom living in Dayton, Ohio. She returns to her hometown of Houston over the Thanksgiving holiday to discuss her parents’ estate—and finds herself hurled back in time. Suddenly, it’s 1978, and she is forced to spend thirty-six hours in her childhood home with her nuclear family, including her ten-year old self. Over the next day and a half she reconsiders every feeling she’s ever had, discusses current events with dead people, gets overserved at a party with her parents’ friends, and is treated to lunch at the Bonanza Sirloin Pit. Besides noticing that everyone is smoking cigarettes, she’s still jealous of her sister, and there is a serious lack of tampons in the house, Amy also begins to appreciate that memories are malleable, wholly dependent on who is doing the remembering. In viewing her parents as peers and her siblings as detached children, she redefines her difficult relationships with her family members and, ultimately, realizes that her life story matters and is profoundly significant—not so much to everyone else, perhaps, but certainly to her. Amy’s guide said her trip back in time wouldn’t change anything in the future, but by the time her thirty-six hours are up, she’s convinced that she’ll never be the same again.