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The Wackiest Joke Book Ever!: Over 476 Jokes to Crack Up Your Friends
by Editors of Portable PressKids will find giggles, groans, and belly laughs on every page!Kids can't resist sharing jokes (even when you try to stop them), so they always need a fresh supply. We've stuffed the pages of this little book with the silliest jokes we could find. Old favorites, new favorites, and a few festering stinkers—all guaranteed to make kids laugh out loud.Here's a sampling:Q. Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road?A. He had no guts.Q. What did the lips say to the eyes?A. Between you and me, something smells.Q. Why did all of the students eat their homework?A. The teacher said the questions were a piece of cake.
The Wackiest Joke Book That'll Knock-Knock You Over!: Over 838 Jokes!
by Editors of Portable PressA collection of more than 800 wild and wacky jokes guaranteed to make kids giggle, guffaw, and groan!One-liners, riddles, puns, and loads of knock-knock jokes—this book has them all! Kids will be giggling, chuckling, chortling, and guffawing with this collection of over 800 jokes that covers kid-friendly topics, including dinosaurs, monsters, history, and wacky jokes that will make them (and you) laugh out loud. They’ll get a kick out of zingers such as: Q: Why did T. rex cross the road?A: To eat the chickens on the other side. Knock-knock! Who’s there? Beets. Beets who? Beets me, I can’t even remember my name. Q: Why did the elephant quit the circus?A: He was tired of working for peanuts. And many more!
Wacky Chicks
by Simon DoonanMost of us know a wacky chick. She's a true nonconformist, a woman who dares to be different. On any ordinary day she might be found performing a citizen's arrest, running a concession stand at a swingers' convention, or wearing a tiara on top of a cowboy hat. Even when conservatively dressed, wacky chicks give themselves away with their fire and exuberance: their outrageous personalities make them as easy to spot as a flamingo prancing among pigeons. Once considered a rarity, this wild and wonderful species seems to be increasing its numbers. In Wacky Chicks, irreverent social commentator and humor writer Simon Doonan celebrates this growing phenomenon by introducing readers to a bracing cross section of today's most provocative and unconventional women. He asks them to reveal what it takes to be a wacky chick and how wacky-chickery can help women everywhere find creative fulfillment. Readers will learn everything from wacky-chick spiritualism (woo-woo chicks) to wacky-chick business sense (chicks with shticks). We will witness their lives, habitats, mating rituals, careers, and childbearing practices. There's even priceless advice on fashion, beauty, interior decorating, finding the right partner, and unleashing your feminist wacky chick without losing your femininity. Some of Doonan's wacky chicks you may already know -- Amy Sedaris, cocktail waitress turned creator and star of Comedy Central's Strangers with Candy, and her alter ego Piglet; Warhol muse and Key lime pie aficionado Brigid Berlin; and Susanne Bartsch, the woman who showed Madonna how to vogue. But most are supervixens you've never met, because, naturally, a wacky chick does not aspire to traditional fame and fortune. Included here are the life lessons of fashion designer turned park ranger Spider Fawke, the proud mother of thirty-eight lizards and a four-inch tarantula; slashed-spandex-wearing Isabel Garrett; hip hypnotist Jessica Porter; and a new age pixie named Kazuko. They are about as diverse a flock as you can imagine, but they share a common theme: all of these women are Belligerent, Resilient, Uninhibited, Naughty, Creative, and Hilarious (B.R.U.N.C.H. for short). In a word, they are wacky. A book that pays tribute to the wild and unstoppable female in each of us, Wacky Chicks is the ultimate guide to embracing your inner rebel. Mixing intimate and outrageous interview material with philosophical interludes, Simon Doonan brings you on a soul-searching journey that may leave you creating hats out of tinfoil or opening your own hot dog stand, infinitely self-assured and infinitely wacky.
Wacky Knock-Knock Jokes
by Highlights For ChildrenThese collections of time-tested riddles and knock-knock jokes from Highlights will trigger a giggle attack every time kids open them. With a wealth of jokes and riddles, Wacky Knock-Knock Jokes is perfect for sharing laughs with friends and family. The hilarious illustrations add to the fun.
Wacky Laws, Weird Decisions, and Strange Statutes
by Sheryl Lindsell-Roberts K. R. Hobbie Ted Levalliant Marcel TherouxThere ought to be a law against making laws this wacky! But since there isn't, why not have fun with the silliest statutes, looniest lawsuits, and dumbest decisions on record? Who ever thought a law book would be funnier than a joke book? Well it is--just take a look at these: Children under the age of seven can't attend college in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. Anyone flying over Maine should remember: it's illegal there to step out of the plane while it's in the air. And why can't the chicken cross the road in Quitman, Georgia? Because it's "fowl" criminal behavior. That's just the beginning, because this collection also uncovers some of the most incredible, unbelievable lawsuits, government grants, and court verdicts. For example, the United States Navy spent $792 for a designer doormat. A psychic sued doctors because she lost her "aura" after a brain scan. Each fact is stranger than the one before!
Wacky Packages (Topps Ser.)
by The Topps CompanyTake a fun look back at Quacker Oats, Blisterine, and more classic packaging parodies—plus an interview with creator Art Spiegelman! Known affectionately among collectors as &“Wacky Packs,&” the Topps stickers that parodied well-known consumer brands were a phenomenon in the 1970s—even outselling the Topps Company&’s baseball cards for a while. But few know that the genius behind it all was none other than Art Spiegelman—the Pulitzer Prize–winning graphic novelist who created Maus. This treasury includes an interview with Spiegelman about his early career and his decades-long relationship with the memorabilia company—as well as a colorful compendium that will bring back memories of such products as Plastered Peanuts, Jail-O, Weakies cereal, and many more. Illustrated by notable comics artists Kim Deitch, Bill Griffith, Jay Lynch, Norm Saunders, and more, this collection is a visual treat, a load of laughs, and a tribute to a beloved product that&’s been delighting kids (and adults) for decades.
Wacky Word Play
by Highlights For Children Mike DammerBursting with kid-approved jokes, riddles, cartoons, and word puzzles from Highlights, these collections will trigger a giggle attack every time kids open them. Wacky Word Play and Witty Word Play are perfect for sharing laughs with friends and family. Hilarious illustrations add to the fun.
The Waffler
by Gail DonovanWhen one boy waffles back and forth, it's going to take a few little kids-and one pet rat-to get him to finally make a decision. Monty is a waffler-he can never make up his mind, which always gets him in trouble. But when each student in his fourth-grade class is assigned a kindergarten buddy, Monty takes some left-out kindergarteners under his wing, even though it's against the rules to have more than one buddy. When his blended family and his teachers find out, they give him an ultimatum: choose just one buddy, or have none at all. That stinks! On top of that, his beloved pet rat escapes, and his twin sister stops speaking to him! Monty doesn't want to cast away his new friends, but he needs to come to a decision before everything spins out of control. With laugh-out-loud humor reminiscent of Andrew Clements, Donovan gets the agony-and the tremendous fun-of elementary school perfectly.
Waffles and Pancake: Best Friends Fur-Ever (Waffles and Pancake #4)
by Drew BrockingtonGo back in time to when everyone's favorite Catstronaut, Waffles, was a kitten! Fans of Narwhal and Jelly will love this fun, cat-tastic early graphic novel series. Prepare for lift off! Waffles and his sister Pancake are about to spend three days at Space Cat Camp—a fun, science-packed training experience for future CatStronauts. Pancake can&’t wait to learn about satellites, space shuttles, and all things outer space, but Waffles is feeling a little homesick. How can he enjoy his time at camp when all he wants is his dad-cat? With some new friends and the power of teamwork, these kittens will be ready to pounce on any challenges ahead!Read more in the Waffles and Pancake series:Planetary Yum Flight or Fright Failure to Lunch
The Wage Slave's Glossary
by Pseud Seth Joshua Glenn Mark KingwellWhen The Idler's Glossary was released in October 2008 the world was on the cusp of experiencing its greatest economic collapse since the Great Depression. Depending on your sense of irony, this was either foolhardy or prescient. The Wage Slave's Glossary, a second volume of anti-economic etymology, comes as we climb out of recession, and continues to explore and challenge the interconnected world of work and leisure and labor and how the language we use continues to keep us in chains.
The Wager (The Bet #2)
by Rachel Van DykenFrom the author of the #1 New York Times bestseller, THE BETTHE WAGERLose a bet, lose your heart...What is it about a junior-high crush that can send an otherwise intelligent woman into a tailspin? TV reporter Char Lynn wishes she knew. Jake Titus is too rich, too handsome, too arrogant: a trifecta that once lured Char into the best night-and worst morning-after-of her life. Now they've been thrown together in a wedding party. It's awkward, but survivable . . . until Jake stops acting like a jerk, and starts acting like the man she'd always hoped he could be.If watching your brother marry your best friend is weird, being attracted to your best friend's other best friend is downright bizarre. Unfortunately for Jake, Char hasn't forgotten how he once tossed her aside. Worse still, Jake's already-nutty grandma is even crazier about Char. Cue meet-cute shenanigans and all manner of meddling, and somehow, Jake's falling. For Char. Now all he has to do is make her believe it . . .85,000 words
The Wagered Widow: A Novel of Georgian England
by Patricia VeryanA woman gambles on her heart in this captivating Georgian romance from the author of the Golden Chronicles, “the superstar of the period romance” (Library Journal).A lovely young widow finds herself torn between two men—a dashing rake and a stodgy, but reliable admirer—in an eighteenth-century England confronted with the choice between the Hanoverian and Bonnie Prince Charlie.“The writing is witty and spry and makes use of expressions and idioms that feel authentic, and there is plenty of detail about the fashions, décor and customs of the day, so those of us who like a bit of history in our historical romance certainly won’t be disappointed . . . a light-hearted, frothy read overall.” —All About Romance
Waggers
by Tamara Anegon Stacy NyikosWhen Waggers is adopted, he tries to be good; he really does! But it isn't Waggers's fault that his tail goes crazy when he gets excited. How much harm can a tail do, anyway? Well, his new family is about to find out. In the kitchen, the cookies smell so good that Waggers's tail makes the dough hit the ceiling. And when Waggers helps the kids defeat a monster in the living room, there may be a sofa casualty. After his tail accidentally scratches the paint off the car in the garage, Mom and Dad aren't so sure their home is the right fit for such an excitable pup. Could this be the last straw, or can Waggers and his family find a way to stay together?Author Stacy Nyikos spins a humorous tale of a well-meaning, but clumsy dog. With hilariously unexpected scenarios, this heartwarming story will keep you giggling and wondering what Waggers-and his tail-will do next. Adorable illustrations from Tamara Anegon bring the silly scenes to vibrant life and make Waggers a joy, especially for pet lovers.
Waggin' Tales: A Red And Rover Collection (Red and Rover Collection)
by Brian Basset"It's a sweetly funny strip, reminiscent of the relationship of Charlie Brown and Snoopy or Calvin and Hobbes. . . . Just the book to pick up when you need a booster shot of the warm fuzzies."—Syracuse Post-StandardWhy are readers so dedicated to this simple comic about a boy and his dog? That simplicity itself is one of the best-loved characteristics of the strip. Ten-year-old Red and his lab-mix mutt, Rover, are a metaphor for friendship, and their shared adventures hearken back to a simpler time that holds a strong nostalgic appeal for modern readers. The other feature of Red and Rover that draws fans to the strip is the realness of its character. Rover is not a talking dog; he and Red communicate through thought bubbles. Moreover, Rover's facial expressions and body language are drawn with an authenticity, recognized and lauded by dog lovers, that communicates volumes about what he's thinking and feeling.As proclaimed on the popular family-oriented Web site infodad.com, "Well focused, well thought out, and well drawn in something of a 'retro' style, Red and Rover is the most heartwarmingly funny new comic strip in years. Cynics, go elsewhere. Red and Rover is for the rest of us."
Waggish: Dogs Smiling For Dog Reasons
by Grace Chon Melanie MonteiroTo be "waggish" is to be playful and mischievous—the very definition of these adorable dogs and the things they (might) think about us There's no mistaking a happy dog. The wagging tail, the eager eyes, the smile that's impossible to fake. A happy dog radiates pure joy. Yet the mystery remains: What's really going on behind those waggish grins? Are our dogs laughing with us? At us? Are they operating at a higher stage of enlightenment . . . or just buttering us up before we discover the tiny, torn remnants of burrito wrapper suspiciously dotting the hallway? In Waggish, the infinite expressions of happy dogs are captured in an amazing series of photographs by renowned animal photographer Grace Chon, whose images have made her the go-to pet photographer of Hollywood’s top celebrities. As for what these dogs are really thinking, writer Melanie Monteiro expertly channels their innermost thoughts, pairing each photo with a caption such as, “If loving tennis balls is wrong, I don’t want to be right” and “You know, we’ll both get outside a lot quicker if you just forget the pants.” Waggish is the perfect gift for every dog lover.
Wagnificent: The Adventures of Thunder and Sage (Wagnificent #1)
by Bethanie MurguiaDiscover a new young graphic novel series full of humor and heart about a lovable dog, her favorite human, and their pawsome pack in this unforgettable friendship story perfect for fans of PAWCASSO and ANIMAL RESCUE FRIENDS.Thunder the dog likes to take naps by the sunny window, sniff around for hidden treats, play fetch, and get cuddles from her favorite human, Sage.Though Thunder wants to be good for Sage, she’s having a ruff time stopping herself from doing things she knows are wrong – like barking, digging, and chasing suspicious furballs around the yard. She’s shocked when her inner Wolf appears one day and reveals the truth behind these irresistible impulses. It’s all because dogs are really wolves! (That is, they’re descended from them.) The big question is: Will Thunder choose to be a loyal pet to Sage, or embrace the wild animal within?For fans of PAWS and KATIE THE CATSITTER, and anyone who has ever pondered the secret life of their cherished four-legged sidekick, meet Thunder and Sage —and get ready to feel ALL THE WAGS!*Includes nonfiction backmatter for young readers to learn more about their favorite furry friends*
The Wagons
by R. A. LaffertyYou think you know all about prairie dogs but I bet you don&’t even know this. You see, in the very middle of every prairie dog town and about four feet down there is a pile of gold. Lafferty was the winner of the Hugo and World Fantasy Award and a six time Nebula Award Nominee. His quirky style made his work hard to pigeonhole and market, but he still managed to influence a wide array of today&’s best writers. Simply on of the best writers the science fiction and fantasy field has ever produced.
Wait a Minotaur (I Like to Read Comics)
by Jeffrey EbbelerWhen his new school hallways start to feel like a labyrinth, how will Gus the minotaur and his human pal Nick stay calm and find their way to the correct classroom? Find out in this action-packed early reader from comics artist Jeffrey Ebbeler.It&’s Nick&’s first day at a new school! As he walks in, he meets an easily excitable and impatient minotaur named Gus. It&’s Gus&’ first day, too—so he grabs Nick&’s hand and charges straight into the building. There&’s so much to see and do! They dance along with band practice, bounce around the school gym, end up in the boiler room, and. . . okay. They&’re lost.They may not know where to go, but they know what to do: wait a minute, calm down, and retrace their steps so they can find their classroom. Young comics readers are sure to resonate with comics illustrator Jeffrey Ebbeler&’s hilarious, slapstick take on a common coming-of-age experience—and parents will love the subtle lessons of patience and critical thinking.Comics-lovers can now share the fun with their kids, students, siblings, and younger friends who are learning to read!I Like to Read® Comics are perfect for kids who are challenged by or unengaged in reading, kids who love art, and the growing number of young comics fans. Filled with eye-catching art, humor, and terrific stories, these comics provide unique reading experiences for growing minds.Like their award-winning I Like to Read® counterpart, I Like to Read® Comics are created by celebrated artists and support reading comprehension to transform children into lifelong readers.
Wait For It
by Jenn McKinlayA woman looking for a new lease on life moves to Arizona where she rents a guest house on a gorgeous property with a mysterious owner—a man who teaches her about resilience, courage, and ultimately true love, in this funny, bighearted novel about hope and healing from New York Times bestselling author Jenn McKinlay. Stuck in a dreary Boston winter, Annabelle Martin would like nothing more than to run away from her current life. She's not even thirty years old, twice-divorced, and has just dodged a marriage proposal… from her ex-husband. When she&’s offered her dream job as creative director at a cutting-edge graphic design studio in Phoenix, she jumps at the opportunity to start over. When she arrives in the Valley of the Sun, Annabelle is instantly intrigued by her anonymous landlord. Based on the cranky, handwritten notes Nick Daire leaves her, she assumes he is an old, rich curmudgeon. Annabelle is shocked when she finally meets Nick and discovers that he&’s her age and uses a wheelchair. Nick suffered from a stroke a year ago, and while there's no physical reason for him not to recover, he is struggling to overcome the paralyzing fear that has kept him a prisoner in his own home. Despite her promise to herself not to get involved, Annabelle finds herself irresistibly drawn to Nick. And soon she wonders if she and Nick might help each other find the courage to embrace life, happiness, and true love.
Wait for Me, Jack
by Addison Jones&“Spanning 60 years, Jones&’s deceptively casual, episodic novel is a warm-hearted dissection of a dysfunctional marriage. . . . Uplifting and astute.&” —The Sunday Times Married in 1952, Jack and Milly meant to live the American Dream—but over six decades, the dream has changed for their country and for them. Wait for Me, Jack takes us from the aches and indignities of old age back to the exhilarating early days of a new relationship. An insightful, funny and, at times, devastating dissection of marriage, exploring what makes people stay together—despite everything. &“A frank, earthy and drily amusing portrait of a marriage.&” —The Herald &“Brilliantly observed and often very funny.&” —Morag Joss, award-winning author of Half Broken Things &“Uplifting and astute, this book should save marriages.&” —Tim Pears, The Sunday Times (A Top Summer Read) &“Most moving novel of the year.&” —Andrew Greig, author of John Macnab
Wait for the Wagon (Suds In Your Eye Ser. #4)
by Mary LasswellKindhearted and loudmouthed Mrs. Feeley, Mrs. Rasmussen, and Miss Tinkham have only just set out on their long-awaited cross-country drive to the West Coast when the trouble begins. It's bad enough that they wind up in a seedy, truck stop nightclub, but then it's raided by the police! Thankfully, Chief Connolly can tell they're decent folks and lets them off easy, but he needs a favor in return. He wants them to take a passenger on their trip; a dangerous passenger they'll need to outwit before making it home. Mary Lasswell is firing on all cylinders again in this madcap, slapstick, high-spirited adventure--the fourth to star Mrs. Feeley and friends.
The Waiter
by Matias FaldbakkenIn the tradition of modern classics The Dinner and A Gentleman in Moscow comes The Waiter, in which the finely tuned balance of a grand European restaurant (that has seen better days) is irrevocably upset by an unexpected guest. <P><P>In a centuries-old European restaurant called The Hills, a middle-aged waiter takes pride in the unchangeable aspects of his job: the well-worn uniform, the ragged but solid tablecloths, and the regular diners. <P><P>Some are there daily, like Graham “Le Gris”—also known as The Pig—and his dignified group of aesthetes; the slightly more free-spirited drinking company around Tom Sellers; and the closest one can get to personal friends of the waiter, Edgar and his young daughter, Anna. <P><P>In this universe unto itself, there is scarcely any contact between the tables...until a beautiful and well-groomed young woman walks through the door and upsets the delicate balance of the restaurant and all it has come to represent. Like living in a snow globe, The Waiter is a captivating study in miniature. <P><P>Everything is just so, and that’s exactly how the waiter needs it to be. One can understand why he becomes anxious when things begin to change. In fact, given the circumstances, anxiety just might be the most sensible response... <P><P>With the sophistication of The Remains of the Day and the eccentricity of The Elegance of the Hedgehog, The Waiter marks the North American debut of an exciting new voice in literary fiction.
Waiting for Bojangles
by Olivier BourdeautThe runaway international bestseller—shortlisted for one of France’s highest literary prizes—a dark, funny, and wholly charming novel about a young boy and his eccentric family who grapple with the realities of mental illness in unique and whimsical ways.A young boy lives with his madcap parents, Louise and George, and an exotic bird in a Parisian apartment, where the unopened mail rises in a tower by the door, the bird acts like a member of the family, and his parents dance to Nina Simone’s mellifluous classic “Mister Bojangles.” As his mother, mesmerizing and unpredictable, descends deeper into mental illness, it is up to the boy and his father to keep her safe and, when that fails, happy. Fleeing Paris for a country home in Spain, they come to understand that some of the most radiant people bear the heaviest burdens. Told from the perspective of a young boy who idolizes his parents and from George’s journals, detailing the epic love story with his wife, this charming, heartbreaking gem of a novel will stay with you long after the final page. As we read, their love story becomes ours.
Waiting For Doggo: The feel-good romantic comedy for dog lovers and friends
by Mark MillsIt takes one scruffy dog to show a man how to fall in love...No-one ever called Dan a pushover. But then no-one ever called him fast-track either. He likes driving slowly, playing Sudoku on his iPhone, swapping one scruffy jumper for another. He's been with Clara for four years and he's been perfectly happy; but now she's left him, leaving nothing but a long letter filled with incriminations and a small, white, almost hairless dog, named Doggo. So now Dan is single, a man without any kind of partner whether working or in love. He's just one reluctant dog owner. Find a new home for him, that's the plan. Come on...everyone knows the old adage about the best laid plans and besides, Doggo is one special kind of a four legged friend...and an inspiration.
Waiting For Froggo
by Alice CourtleyA hilarious, minimalist story about patience the ups and downs of waiting from author-illustrator, Alice Courtley.Rabbit is waiting for Froggo, quietly and patiently. Mouse is also waiting for Froggo, but not so quietly or patiently ... "What's a Froggo?" Mouse asks. "When will they get here? What do they look like?" Rabbit urges Mouse to wait but as more animals show up to join them, things start to get more busy and chaotic. Just as Rabbit is about to lose his temper, Mouse asks the biggest question: what if Froggo doesn't come? Inspired by Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot, Alice Courtley's Waiting for Froggo is a minimalist story of the ups and downs of waiting with brilliantly expressive characters and charming deadpan humour. Froggo is definitely worth waiting for!