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Wake Up and Smell the Shit
by Kristen KozaStand back! The tales in this raunchy round-the-world romp might get you dirty. We've all had unspeakable experiences while traveling that we're ashamed to admit, but these often become our best stories in the retelling. The writers in this collection cast inhibition aside and reveal their weirdest and worst moments and how they made the best of them. And memorable moments in exotic destinations come in all shapes and sizes: insects as big as Pam Anderson’s left tit, regrettable sex, stink-eyed officials, horrible healers, Lady Gaga’s shoes and Madonna’s special meal, trigger-happy militants, and peeping Tom rock stars. Adventure vicariously as: Spud Hilton (not Monty Python) finds the Holy Grail by accident. Meghan Ward squats, and then the toilet grunts back, in Goa. Kasha Rigby proved how tough she is on National Geographic’s Ultimate Survival Alaska, but is she a match for a 90-year-old bone breaker in Guatemala? Namibians stereotype Chinese men as Bruce Lee--Gerald Yeung wonders if attacking baboons will do the same. Keph Senett (hoping not to follow in the footsteps of Pussy Riot) braves bombs, police and a Soviet-era sofa bed to play soccer at the LGBT games in Putin’s Russia. Jabba-the-Turd versus Shannon Bradford in an epic showdown in Argentina. And many more. . . .
Wake Up, Nat & Darcy (Puck Struck #1)
by Kate CochraneEx-lovers. Ex-rivals. New cohosts. Oh, puck.Cut from the U.S. women&’s hockey team right before her third chance at gold, Natalie Carpenter is scrambling for a plan that&’ll help her avoid moving back home. The answer: a guest hosting gig on Wake Up, USA&’s winter games coverage. Her co-host: Darcy LaCroix, Nat&’s ex-girlfriend, one-time college teammate turned adversary.Since leaving Team Canada, Darcy has worked hard to make a name in broadcasting. If her big break requires sharing screen time with the former cocky freshman who turned her world upside down, so be it. At this point, there&’s nothing between them except history.But audiences disagree. #PuckingHotties is trending hard, and Nat and Darcy agree to lean into it...for ratings, obviously. It&’s not like Nat can forget the way Darcy broke her heart or their bitter team rivalry.Between working, traveling together, and that irresistible spark, it&’s getting hard to separate what&’s real and what&’s for the camera. Because somewhere underneath everything that went wrong is the sneaking suspicion that nothing will ever feel quite this right again.
Wake Up, Sir!
by Jonathan AmesAlan Blair, the hero of Wake Up, Sir!, is a young, loony writer with numerous problems of the mental, emotional, sexual, spiritual, and physical variety. He's very good at problems. But luckily for Alan, he has a personal valet named Jeeves, who does his best to sort things out for his troubled master. And Alan does find trouble wherever he goes. He embarks on a perilous and bizarre road journey, his destination being an artists colony in Saratoga Springs. There Alan encounters a gorgeous femme fatale who is in possession of the most spectacular nose in the history of noses. Such a nose can only lead to a wild disaster for someone like Alan, and Jeeves tries to help him, but... Well, read the book and find out!
Wake Up, Stupid
by Mark HarrisOriginally written in 1959, this is the hilariously explosive account of Youngdahl, a novelist, playwright, ex-Mormon, and father of seven. He is a frenzied man who is beginning a letter-writing campaign to escape his curiously ironic situation, and, of course, his profession. Along with Abner Klang, his not-so-literary agent who seems to have misplaced the F key on his typewriter, Youngdahl joins forces with a Mormon bishop, a TV adapter, and a prizefighter, among others, to spearhead a comic revolution.
Wakefield: A Novel
by Andrei CodrescuA modern-day Faust embarks on a wild romp through the peculiar and preposterous American landscape When the Devil shows up in Wakefield's living room to announce that his time is up, the bookish "de-motivational" speaker tries to strike a deal. The Devil agrees to prolong Wakefield's life--for now--on the condition that within the next year he finds a more authentic existence. For Wakefield, who is estranged from his family, nearly friendless, and excellent at his job of lowering expectations in a positivity-crazed world, living "authentically" is a tall order. But he will try: an extra 12 months might be worth it. Wakefield's bargain sets in motion a cross-country quest to find his life's purpose. Along the way, he encounters an array of all-American weirdness from plastic surgeons and sadomasochistic strippers to phony New Age yoga gurus and billion-dollar tech start-ups. Codrescu's astute observations and quick wit illuminate the comedy found in our national culture of narcissism and self-improvement.
Waking Beauty
by Leah WilcoxEveryone knows Sleeping Beauty has to be woken with a kiss, except Prince Charming. Every time the fairies watching over her try to tell him, he interrupts with his ideas of how to wake her.
Waking Beauty
by Leah WilcoxLaugh along with Prince Charming's misguided ideas for waking Sleeping Beauty, and delight at her reaction when he finally gets it right.When Prince Charming finds Sleeping Beauty and her fairies, he doesn't know what to do. The fairies try to tell him how to wake her up, but he keeps interrupting with crazy ideas of his own such as shouting, jumping on her bed, and pouring water on her. Of course none of those work, and he is mortified when he finally hears what it will take! A hilarious twist on the fairy tale Sleeping Beauty, this is a companion to the hit Falling for Rapunzel.
Waking Beauty: A Novel
by Elyse FriedmanWhen Allison Penny miraculously wakes up thin and beautiful--a stark contrast to her last 22 years on earth--she experiences the blessing and curses of such an existence. This modern-day fairy tale proves that no matter how much we don't want to admit it, it's what's on the outside that counts.
Waking Up Dead: A Mystery
by Nigel WilliamsRetired bank manager George Pearmain is, apparently, dead. According to the behavior of everyone around him, it would seem that he is no more. Not only that, but his mother has also passed away too - and on the eve of her 99th year, poor dear. Not only that, it could be that they were both murdered. He feels fine otherwise. As George's family gather for the birthday-celebration-that-never-was, he hovers around the house, watching and listening, entirely unseen. As a result, he makes all sorts of discoveries about himself, his wife Esmeralda, and his supposedly happy family . . . One of internationally bestselling author Nigel Williams' best books to date, Waking Up Dead is both a screamingly funny cozy mystery and startlingly strange ghost story asking the question: What would you do if you could bear witness to your own demise?
Waking the Dead and Other Fun Activities
by Casey LyallSometimes it’s hard to rest in peace. A young trainee witch, a family power gone haywire, a dearly departed grandma, an undead boy, and an evil witch—that’s a recipe for the perfect summer vacation. Both hilarious and heartfelt, this fast-paced mystery about life and death (and afterlife) is for fans of Spirit Hunters and The Miscalculations of Lightning Girl.Twelve-year-old Kimmy Jones wants to excel at the unique (and secret) aspect of her family’s funeral home business. Under the watchful eye of Grandma Bev, Kimmy learns how to raise the recently deceased, request their last wish, and break the connection to send them on. But when Grandma unexpectedly dies herself, Kimmy can’t reach her spirit, and nothing seems like it’s ever going to be right again.Then a boy dies under mysterious circumstances on the night of a meteor shower. With no witnesses, Kimmy’s the only one who can get answers about what happened. So she breaks into the hospital morgue, and for the first time in months, her power works. She Wakes the boy up. Except then Kimmy can’t break the connection and so he stays Awake. Even worse, the boy has no memory of what happened to him. As Kimmy works to unravel the mystery, she discovers secrets about her heritage and learns about a witch who has been wreaking havoc for centuries.Casey Lyall’s supernatural mystery is heartfelt, thrilling, and hilarious. Waking the Dead and Other Fun Activities is perfect for fans of Avi’s School of the Dead and Suzanne Young’s What Stays Buried.
Waking the Dead: Book 18 (Horrid Henry #18)
by Francesca SimonNumber One for Fiendish Fun!This book contains a TV, a school election, a RUBBISH present and a death-defying magician! Four utterly hilarious and totally brilliant Horrid Henry stories by Francesca Simon, with illustrations by Tony Ross. An irresistible introduction to reading for pleasure.
Walk of Shame (Love Unexpectedly)
by Lauren LayneSparks fly between a misunderstood New York socialite and a cynical divorce lawyer in this lively standalone rom-com from the USA Today bestselling author of Blurred Lines and Love Story. Pampered heiress Georgianna Watkins has a party-girl image to maintain, but all the shopping and clubbing is starting to feel a little bit hollow—and a whole lot lonely. Though Georgie would never admit it, the highlights of her week are the mornings when she comes home at the same time as her uptight, workaholic neighbor is leaving to hit the gym and put in a long day at the office. Teasing him is the most fun Georgie’s had in years—and the fuel for all her naughtiest daydreams. Celebrity divorce attorney Andrew Mulroney doesn’t have much time for women, especially spoiled tabloid princesses who spend more time on Page Six than at an actual job. Although Georgie’s drop-dead gorgeous, she’s also everything Andrew resents: the type of girl who inherited her penthouse instead of earning it. But after Andrew caps one of their predawn sparring sessions with a surprise kiss—a kiss that’s caught on camera—all of Manhattan is gossiping about whether they’re a real couple. And nobody’s more surprised than Andrew to find that the answer just might be yes.Lauren Layne’s USA Today bestselling Love Unexpectedly series can be read in any order:BLURRED LINESGOOD GIRLLOVE STORY WALK OF SHAMEAN EX FOR CHRISTMASDon’t miss any of Lauren Layne’s hot reads:The Sex, Love & Stiletto series: AFTER THE KISS | LOVE THE ONE YOU’RE WITH | JUST ONE NIGHT | THE TROUBLE WITH LOVEThe Oxford series: IRRESISTIBLY YOURS| I WISH YOU WERE MINE | SOMEONE LIKE YOU The Redemption Series: ISN’T SHE LOVELY | BROKEN | CRUSHEDPraise for Walk of Shame“I have three words to describe Walk of Shame: fun, fun, fun! . . . There’s nothing sexier than seeing Andrew lose control.”—Harlequin Junkie (top pick) “Walk of Shame by Lauren Layne was such an ‘enchanting’ story that I read it in one sitting. You couldn’t have pried it from my hands.”—Happily Ever After “Ok, I’m just going to say it: this is Lauren Layne’s best book! This was absolutely adorable. I loved everything about this book. I was feeling like a giddy little school girl reading it.”—AC Book Blog “This is a book I have been so looking forward to and literally from page one, it had sucked me right in. I practically inhaled it within a few hours.”—Melissa Kate “What’s this? Another rave review for a Lauren Layne book? Yes! I was hooked to the premise of Walk of Shame even before I read the book.”—Nick & Nereyda’s Infinite Booklist“Fabulous.”—I am, Indeed“Could not turn the pages fast enough on this one! Adorable banter, electric chemistry, and smoking sex scenes. So much fun!”—Christi Barth, author of the Naked Men series“A wonderful, enchanting, toe-curling love story of two opposites attracting and falling hard! I adored this couple and their slow-burn romance.”—#1 New York Times bestselling author Lauren Blakely“Walk of Shame is my favorite read of 2017 so far! The sexy banter and sparks that flew between Andrew and Georgie made this so much fun, I couldn’t help fall in love with the two of them.”—New York Times bestselling author A. L. Jackson
Walk of Shame: A sparkling feel-good rom-com from the bestselling author of The Prenup! (Love Unexpectedly #4)
by Lauren LayneFrom the author of the feel-good romantic comedy hit The Prenup! If you love Sophie Kinsella, Lindsey Kelk and Sophie Ranald, you'll LOVE Lauren Layne!IT'S 5 A.M. HER NIGHT IS ENDING. HIS DAY IS BEGINNING. SPARKS FLY WHEN THEY MEET...Readers love Walk of Shame!'Read it around 6 times, I still smile so much. I love it' 5* reader review'I have no idea what the secret ingredient is that makes me love a Lauren Layne novel but I really can't get enough' 5* reader review'Reading it was like eating you favourite creamy, decadent dessert. Light, frothy and utterly delicious' 5* reader reviewPampered heiress Georgianna Watkins has a party-girl image to maintain, but all the shopping and clubbing is starting to feel a little bit hollow - and a whole lot lonely. Though Georgie would never admit it, the highlights of her week are the mornings when she comes home at the same time as her uptight, workaholic neighbour is leaving to hit the gym and put in a long day at the office. Teasing him is the most fun Georgie's had in years - and the fuel for all her naughtiest daydreams.Celebrity divorce attorney Andrew Mulroney doesn't have much time for women, especially spoiled tabloid princesses who spend more time on Page Six than at an actual job. Although Georgie's drop-dead gorgeous, she's also everything Andrew resents: the type of girl who inherited her penthouse instead of earning it. But after Andrew caps one of their predawn sparring sessions with a surprise kiss-a kiss that's caught on camera-all of Manhattan is gossiping about whether they're a real couple. And nobody's more surprised than Andrew to find that the answer just might be yes.'A wonderful, enchanting, toe-curling love story of two opposites attracting and falling hard! I adored this couple and their slow-burn romance' Lauren Blakely'The sexy banter and sparks that flew between Andrew and Georgie made this so much fun, I couldn't help fall in love with the two of them' A. L. JacksonWant more fun, fresh, flirty and very sexy rom-com? Check out all of Lauren's books! Don't miss:The Prenup The Central Park Pact seriesOxford series Wedding Belles series I Do, I Don't seriesLove, Unexpectedly series
Walker's Exercises for Ladies
by Donald WalkerFor ladies leading sedentary lives, Donald Walker has just the pep talk you need.If you haven't yet discovered the vast array of benefits that arise from physical exertion, then let Walker be your guide. As well as helping to prolong life and improve its happiness, active exercises can help you to achieve a beauty of form, elegant air and graceful manners.Through a combination of ladylike exercises such as dancing and dumb-bells, you can become the envy of all ladies.Tips include:- The posture and deportment that will enhance beauty- The correct manner of curtsy and what to do with one's hands when in company- Dangerous activities to avoid, from badminton to billiardsLavishly illustrated throughout, this guide has been brought back to life so that modern ladies can exercise the Victorian way.
Walker's Manly Exercises
by Donald WalkerFor gentlemen leading sedentary lives, Donald Walker has just the pep talk you need.If you haven't yet discovered the vast array of benefits that arise from physical exertion, then let Walker be your guide. As well as helping to prolong life and improve its happiness, active exercises can help you to achieve a beauty of form, elegant air and graceful manners.Through a combination of manly exercises such as leaping, skating and climbing trees, you can acquire the physique you desire and become the envy of all gentlemen.Tips include:· The correct way to walk at different paces - slow, moderate and quick· The best liquids to consume - primarily cold beer and cider · Permitted vegetable matter - including biscuits and stale bread Lavishly illustrated throughout, this Victorian guide has been brought back to life so that modern gents can exercise the manly way.
Walking in Circles Before Lying Down
by Merrill MarkoeDawn Tarnauer's life isn't exactly a success story. Already twice divorced, the young Californian is too busy job-hopping to start a career, her current boyfriend insists on living "off the grid," her Life Coach sister perpetually interferes with incomprehensible affirmations, her eccentric mother is busy promoting the culmination of her life's work: The Every Holiday Tree, and her father is ending his brief third marriage while scheduling two dates for the same night. Dawn's only source of security and comfort, it seems, is Chuck, a pit-bull mix from the pound. So, when her boyfriend announces that he's leaving her for another woman, a despairing Dawn turns to Chuck for solace. "I should have said something sooner," Chuck confides, as he tries to console her. "Couldn't you smell her on his pants'" Dawn is stunned. It's one thing to talk to your pets, but what do you do when they start talking back' It's not just Chuck, either; she can hear all dogs'and man's best friend has a lot to say. The ever-enthusiastic Chuck offers his tried-and-true advice on the merits of knocking over garbage and strewing it everywhere, auxiliary competitive peeing etiquette, and the curative powers of tossing a ball. Doubtful of her own sanity, Dawn considers that, in the ways of life and love, it might be better to trust Chuck's doggie instincts instead of her own. Filled with sharp wit, biting humor, and canine conversation that would make Doctor Dolittle's jaw drop, Merrill Markoe's engaging, cleverly written novel is about the confusing search for love and the divine acts of dog.
Walking on Sunshine
by Luann MclaneCricket Creek, Kentucky, is a sweet small town. But that doesn't stop a tomboy breakfast cook and a tabloid-magnet musician from getting into a little trouble together.... Mattie Mayfield is more interested in fishing, four-wheeling, and mudding than being a girlie girl. But acting like one of the boys means she often gets ignored when it comes to romance--especially by Colby, her brother's best friend. Maybe if she changes the game, she'll finally start getting some attention. Bad boy musician Garret Ruleman doesn't fit in with the crowd in Cricket Creek, but there's something about sweet, unassuming Mattie that catches his eye. Garret intends to ask her out, but all Mattie wants is for Garret to give her a makeover that will force Colby to see her as a real woman. Garret agrees to help in return for lessons on how to become a Southern stud. And as the local girls start falling for the newly countrified Garret, Mattie wonders if in the end, they'd actually be perfect together....
Walking on Sunshine: The heartwarming and uplifting Sunday Times bestseller
by Giovanna FletcherThe heart-warming and uplifting Sunday Times bestseller from Giovanna Fletcher that will sweep you away this summer'Beautifully written, heartbreaking and uplifting' 5***** READER REVIEW'Lovely, very moving. Giovanna's books are very very relatable' LORRAINE KELLY'Filled with love, sadness, friendship, family and truth! Giovanna brings her characters to life' 5***** READER REVIEW'This book is beautiful' ZOE BALLIt's always darkest before the dawn . . .________After Mike loses Pia, his partner of seventeen years, best friends Vicky and Zaza rally round.But the truth is, in Pia's absence, they all need more than a little help . . .Just-engaged Zaza fears the next step. Mum Vicky has lost sight of herself. And Mike can't figure out how to start again.Luckily, Pia left a list of loving instructions to help them cope.Which is why they find themselves trekking in Peru. Stumbling up mountains. Lost in sweltering rainforests. As friendships and hope fray, they cling to their faith in Pia.Soon they learn anything is possible when you're walking on sunshine.________'Such a warm and captivating read. I laughed out loud, I cried and also found myself nodding at times. Thank you Giovanna!' 5***** READER REVIEW'Heartfelt, uplifting. Her best yet' SUN'A heartening story of love, loss and friendship. Giovanna's books give you that warm fuzzy feeling' 5***** READER REVIEWPraise for Giovanna Fletcher:'Tons of charm and genuine warmth' Star'A heartbreakingly beautiful story about friendship and unrequited love. I was totally and utterly captivated' Paige Toon'A gorgeous, gloriously romantic read with buckets of charm - I absolutely loved it!' Jill Mansell'Warm and romantic, this charming read will certainly brighten up your day' Closer'A gorgeously tender, funny and big-hearted novel with wonderful characters you'll fall in love with' Miranda Dickinson'Wonderfully warm and cosy. The perfect comfort read to curl-up with and enjoy' Ali McNamara
Walking the Dog: A Novel
by Elizabeth SwadosA &“brilliant and layered&” novel about a prodigy turned convict turned dog walker in her 40s from the celebrated author of My Depression: A Picture Book (Oprah.com). A former child prodigy and rich-girl, eighteen-year-old Ester is incarcerated after her kleptomania gets way out of hand. There, she is given the very gentile name Carleen (for her own protection) and for two decades, time is the enemy. When finally let loose onto the streets of New York, Carleen finds a job as a dog walker in Manhattan&’s most elite neighborhoods. But despite her remarkable gift for canine communication, Carleen is determined to finally prove that she is a real person. To this end, she tries to reconnect with her estranged—and ferociously Orthodox—daughter. Amid the strained brunch dates, unsent letters, and the continuing trauma of prison, Carleen begins a slow and halting process of self-discovery. Strikingly funny and self-aware, this belated coming-of-age novel asks the question: How do you restart after crashing your first chance at life?
Walking with Ghosts: A Honey Driver Murder Mystery
by Jean G. GoodhindHotel owner and police liaison officer Honey Driver is about to find out that the living are more terrifying than the dead. Bath's answer to Miss Marple; though younger and fuller of figure - accompanies professor of the paranormal, Mary Jane, on a ghost walk. The ghosts fail to appear, but one of the walkers is later found hanging from the rafters of an old shop.The supernatural has nothing to do with the murder, but it is connected to the past and the international demand for old artefacts. Honey has two other big problems; the first is that she's being stalked by a man in wellies riding a motorbike. The second is that her mother is threatening to move closer to her hotel. No guesses as to which concerns her the most. But does Honey have a ghost of a chance of solving her latest case...?
Walking with Sausage Dogs
by Matt WhymanKeeping pets is a lovely idea. When building a family, they complement the kids. But what happens when things get out of hand? For writer and house husband, Matt Whyman, it's a case of catastrophe management in coping with four children and all the ill-advised animals amassed by his career wife, Emma. Just as Matt gets to grips with managing her two maxed out minipigs, she falls for a miniature Dachshund - the kind of dog he wouldn't be seen dead with. Hercules isn't big or clever, but Emma is determined. She'll do everything, she promises... From the author of Pig in the Middle
Walking with Sausage Dogs
by Matt WhymanKeeping pets is a lovely idea. When building a family, they complement the kids. But what happens when things get out of hand? For writer and house husband, Matt Whyman, it's a case of catastrophe management in coping with four children and all the ill-advised animals amassed by his career wife, Emma. Just as Matt gets to grips with managing her two maxed out minipigs, she falls for a miniature Dachshund - the kind of dog he wouldn't be seen dead with. Hercules isn't big or clever, but Emma is determined. She'll do everything, she promises... From the author of Pig in the Middle
Wall Ball
by Kevin MarkeySpringtime in Rambletown means one thing-another season of Rounders baseball! Old Man Winter has delivered more snow than the post office has delivered mail! The only way the Rounders are getting to first base is with a snow shovel. As the team tries to "warm up" for the upcoming season, they welcome a new center fielder: Orlando Ramirez. He's fast as a cheetah and catches everything. Only one problem: those great catches end with him smashing into the outfield wall like a crash-test dummy. With the season opener against the hated Haymakers approaching, Orlando and the Rounders will need a miracle-or a really big shovel-to put the brakes on Orlando's collision course with the wall and this never-ending cold spell.
Wallbanger: Wallbanger, Rusty Nailed, And Screwdrivered (The Cocktail Series #1)
by Alice Clayton*Soon to be a Passionflix original film!* &“An instant classic…highly recommended!&” —New York Times and USA TODAY bestselling author Jennifer Probst USA TODAY bestselling indie author Alice Clayton delights readers with the sexy, laugh-out-loud romance of Caroline and Simon in Wallbanger, the first book in the Cocktail series!The first night after Caroline moves into her fantastic new San Francisco apartment, she realizes she’s gaining an—um—intimate knowledge of her new neighbor’s nocturnal adventures. Thanks to paper-thin walls and the guy’s athletic prowess, she can hear not just his bed banging against the wall but the ecstatic response of what seems (as loud night after loud night goes by) like an endless parade of women. And since Caroline is currently on a self-imposed “dating hiatus,” and her neighbor is clearly lethally attractive to women, she finds her fantasies keep her awake even longer than the noise. So when the wallbanging threatens to literally bounce her out of bed, Caroline, clad in sexual frustration and a pink baby-doll nightie, confronts Simon Parker, her heard-but-never-seen neighbor. The tension between them is as thick as the walls are thin, and the results just as mixed. Suddenly, Caroline is finding she may have discovered a whole new definition of neighborly…In a delicious mix of silly and steamy, Alice Clayton dishes out a hot and hilarious tale of exasperation at first sight.
Wallflower at the Orgy
by Nora EphronFrom her Academy Award--nominated screenplays to her bestselling fiction and essays, Nora Ephron is one of America's most gifted, prolific, and versatile writers. In this classic collection of magazine articles, Ephron does what she does best: embrace American culture with love, cynicism, and unmatched wit. From tracking down the beginnings of the self-help movement to dressing down the fashion world's most powerful publication to capturing a glimpse of a legendary movie in the making, these timeless pieces tap into our enduring obsessions with celebrity, food, romance, clothes, entertainment, and sex. Whether casting her ingenious eye on renowned director Mike Nichols, Cosmopolitan magazine founder Helen Gurley Brown--or herself, as she chronicles her own beauty makeover--Ephron deftly weaves her journalistic skill with the intimate style of an essayist and the incomparable talent of a great storyteller.