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When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices (Judith Viorst's Decades)
by Judith ViorstJudith Viorst is known and loved by readers of all ages, for children's books such as Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day; nonfiction titles, including the bestseller Necessary Losses; and her collections of humorous poetry, which make perfect gifts for birthdays, Mother's Day, graduation, Christmas, Chanukah, or at any time of year.When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices brings together the best of Judith Viorst's witty, insightful poetry, including many favorites from out-of-print collections. Whether she's finding herself or finding a sitter, or contemplating her sex life as she rubs the hormone night cream on her face, Viorst explores the true and funny ironies all women encounter growing up in the modern world. Here is a young single girl from Irvington, NJ, leaving her parents' home for life in the big city ("No I do not believe in free love/And yes I will be home for Sunday dinners," she promises). Here is the aspiring bohemian with an expensive liberal arts education, getting coffee and taking dictation, "Hoping that someday someone will be impressed/With all I know." Here is that married woman, coping with motherhood ("The tricycles are cluttering my foyer/The Pop Tart crumbs are sprinkled on my soul") and fantasy affairs ("I could imagine cryptic conversations, clandestine martinis...and me explaining that long kisses clog my sinuses") and all-too-real family reunions ("Four aunts in pain taking pills/One cousin in analysis taking notes"). And here she is at mid-life, wondering whether a woman who used to wear a "Ban the Bomb" button can find happiness being a person with a set of fondue forks, a fish poacher, and a wok. Every step of the way, Viorst transforms the familiar events of daily life into poems that make you laugh with recognition. When Did I Stop Being Twenty and Other Injustices demonstrates once and for all that no one understands American women coming of age like Judith Viorst.
When Did Ignorance Become a Point of View: A Dilbert Book (Dilbert #17)
by Scott AdamsScott Adams still has the corporate world guffawing about the adventures of nerdy Dilbert and his power-hungry companion, Dogbert, plus Ratbert and the pointy-haired boss, as they make their way through the travails of modern work life. Only a cartoonist with been-there-endured-that experience could make us laugh so hard. When Did Ignorance Become a Point of View? captures it all, even those Sunday strips that make it into the office each Monday morning.
When Did White Trash Become the New Normal?: A Southern Lady Asks the Impertinent Question
by Charlotte HaysTattoos. Unwed pregnancy. Giving up on shaving...showering...and employment. These used to be signatures of a trashy individual. Now they're the new norm. What happened to etiquette, hygiene, and self restraint? Charlotte Hays, Southern gentlewoman extraordinaire, takes a humorous look at the spread of white trash culture to all levels of American society.
When Dimple Met Rishi: Coming Soon To Netflix As 'mismatched' (Dimple And Rishi Ser.)
by Sandhya Menon<P>When Dimple Met Rishi follows two Indian-American teens whose parents conspire to arrange their marriage.Dimple Shah has it all figured out. With graduation behind her, she’s more than ready for a break from her family, from Mamma’s inexplicable obsession with her finding the “Ideal Indian Husband.” Ugh. <P>Dimple knows they must respect her principles on some level, though. If they truly believed she needed a husband right now, they wouldn’t have paid for her to attend a summer program for aspiring web developers…right? <P>Rishi Patel is a hopeless romantic. So when his parents tell him that his future wife will be attending the same summer program as him—wherein he’ll have to woo her—he’s totally on board. Because as silly as it sounds to most people in his life, Rishi wants to be arranged, believes in the power of tradition, stability, and being a part of something much bigger than himself. <P>The Shahs and Patels didn’t mean to start turning the wheels on this “suggested arrangement” so early in their children’s lives, but when they noticed them both gravitate toward the same summer program, they figured, Why not? <P>Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works hard to prove itself in the most unexpected ways. <P><b>A New York Times Bestseller</b>
When Dimple Met Rishi: Now on Netflix as 'Mismatched' (Dimple And Rishi Ser.)
by Sandhya MenonA New York Times bestseller A Goodreads Choice YA finalist'Get ready to fall in love with Dimple Shah and Rishi Patel' HelloGigglesNow on Netflix as 'Mismatched' Meet Dimple.Her main aim in life is to escape her traditional parents, get to university and begin her plan for tech world domination.Meet Rishi.He's rich, good-looking and a hopeless romantic. His parents think Dimple is the perfect match for him, but she's got other plans...Dimple and Rishi may think they have each other figured out. But when opposites clash, love works even harder to prove itself in the most unexpected ways. As joyfully refreshing as Rainbow Rowell, Jenny Han and Nicola Yoon, When Dimple Met Rishi is a frothy, funny contemporary romance told from the dual perspectives of two Indian American protagonists. While Dimple is fighting her family traditions, Rishi couldn't be happier to follow in the footsteps of his parents - could sparks fly between this odd couple, or is this matchmaking attempt doomed to fail?'Menon wrote an utterly delightful novel and broke my heart by writing an ending because I want nothing more than to keep reading about Dimple and Rishi forever . . . I'm looking forward to it being a huge hit of 2017.' Book Riot'Funny, warm, and utterly charming . . . Sandhya Menon is a welcome and needed new voice in YA.'Katherine Webber
When Dinosaurs Came With Everything
by Elise BroachJust when a little boy thinks he's going to die of boredom, he discovers that stores everywhere are giving away a very special treat with any purchase. It's a dream come true, except - what exactly do you do with these Jurassic treats?
When Do They Serve the Wine?
by Roz Chast Liza DonnellyWhat do women want? Eternal happiness and eternal youth would be nice. Failing that, what about a good laugh? Like I Feel Bad About My Neck come to life on the page, When Do They Serve the Wine? explores the evolution of women through their lives and crises (physical, emotional, sartorial): the awkward teen years; the crisis of becoming a quarter-lifer; the unmistakable realization that if you're wearing a certain outfit in your forties, you might be a cougar. With her trademark wry, self-deprecating wit, and 140 eye-catching cartoons, the New Yorker's Liza Donnelly celebrates the fact that laugh lines do come with ageand so does wisdom.
When Elephant Met Giraffe (Giraffe and Elephant Are Friends)
by Paul GudeFrom the instant she sees him at the water hole, Elephant is curious about Giraffe. And while Giraffe doesn't have much to say, Elephant is more than happy to make the first move. From inviting herself to bake pretzels with Giraffe to ordering him around while playing pirates, Elephant's bold and brassy style takes some getting used to. But still waters run deep and silent Giraffe seems to have no problem making himself heard. The result is a friend for the ages.
When Elves Attack
by Tim DorseyI'm dreaming of a Serge Christmas . . . Palm trees with twinkle lights . . . Santa's big belly protruding over a neon Speedo . . . It's ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who's been naughty and who's been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents. But before that, it's all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there's that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves-they bite). While you're there, skip the lame photo on Santa's lap-Serge will give you a lap ride you'll never forget. As for that addled elf Coleman, there's nothing like a white Christmas. Let it snow! So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!
When Endermen Attack (Redstone Junior High #4)
by Cara J. StevensWinter has come to Redstone Junior High once again, and with it comes holiday celebrations, snowball combat practice, and loads of outdoor fun. But even though the threat of Smite and his henchmen has passed, a new, sinister force lurks in the dark hallways of the school. Strange blocks begin to appear in random places throughout the school, and students have been hearing eerie sounds coming from its abandoned corridors. Pixel, Sky, and Umal team up to figure out what’s tormenting their school and why. <p><p> To make matters worse, Tina and her followers are determined to work against Pixel. What follows is a griefing war that spares no one—not even the teachers or Principal Redstone. As the kids discover more about the lanky creatures who are terrorizing their school, it becomes painfully clear that they must put aside their differences to unite against a common enemy. Will a mob invasion actually bring the students together, or will Redstone Junior High remain haunted forever?
When Enemies Marry . . .
by Lindsay ArmstrongIn bed with her enemy!Justin Waite made it plain that Lucy could lose everything if she didn't marry him-so she agreed to tie the knot. Justin had claimed he only wanted a marriage of convenience, but soon it became clear he actually wanted a wife-in the fullest sense of the word! Justin was supposed to be Lucy's enemy, so why was she tantalized by the thought of sleeping with her own husband?
When Franny Stands Up: A Novel
by Eden RobinsNamed a Best Book of the Month by Bustle and Buzzfeed!Named one of the best books of 2022 by Chicago Reader and All About Romance!As praised by Book Riot, Autostraddle, Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, Booklist, and more!The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel meets A League of Their Own in this inspiring story Buzzfeed calls "a warm hug of a novel." Franny Steinberg knows there's powerful magic in laughter. She's witnessed it. With the men of Chicago off fighting WWII on distant shores, Franny has watched the women of the city taking charge of the war effort. But amidst the war bond sales and factory shifts, something surprising has emerged, something Franny could never have expected. A new marvel that has women flocking to comedy clubs across the nation: the Showstopper.When Franny steps into Chicago's Blue Moon comedy club, she realizes the power of a Showstopper—that specific magic sparked when an audience laughs so hard, they are momentarily transformed. And while each comedian's Showstopper is different, they all have one thing in common: they only work on women.After a traumatic flashback propels her onstage in a torn bridesmaid dress, Franny discovers her own Showstopper is something new. And suddenly she has the power to change everything…for herself, for her audience, and for the people who may need it most.
When Glitter Met Glue (When Pencil Met Eraser)
by Karen KilpatrickThe third hilarious picture book in the award-winning When Pencil Met Eraser series in which underappreciated Glue longs to stand out, and soon meets a new friend, Glitter, who helps bring out her inner sparkle, confidence, and creativity. Glue loves making art with her friends—especially pasting on googly eyes!—but sometimes she feels invisible. Instead of always being stuck in the background, Glue wants to be noticed like Pencil and colorful like the Markers! How can she find a way to stand out?When a new friend named Glitter arrives in a swirl of sparkles, Glue and Glitter team up to make something completely original and help Glue shine like the star she truly is.Karen Kilpatrick & Germán Blanco's When Glitter Met Glue spotlights art’s unsung hero—a glue bottle—in a hilarious and clever story that encourages creativity, self-acceptance, and spurs us all to recognize our inner shimmer.
When God Created Mothers
by Erma BombeckThe New York Times–bestselling humorist’s classic Mother’s Day column on motherhood, featuring the original art.Erma Bombeck remains one of America’s favorite humorists. When God Created Mothers republishes one of her most popular Mother’s Day columns as an illustrated keepsake book that offers a touching description of all the characteristics a mother must possess.When it first appeared in Erma Bombeck's Mother’s Day column in 1974, When God Created Mothers was an instant success, clipped from newspapers, tucked into purses, and tacked onto refrigerators all over America. Now in this beautiful keepsake edition, Bombeck’s moving words are paired with original art that bring to life the warm portrait of motherhood contained within.An angel marvels at the detail and overtime that the good Lord is putting into his creation of mothers. Despite the six pairs of hands and the three pairs of eyes that every mother needs, the angel thinks she has discovered a flaw:“There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.”“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”“What’s it for?”“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride.”“You are a genius,” said the angel.The Lord looked somber, “I didn’t put it there.”Every mother will treasure this moving tribute, penned by America’s most beloved expert on motherhood.
When God Created Mothers
by Erma BombeckThe New York Times–bestselling humorist’s classic Mother’s Day column on motherhood, featuring the original art.Erma Bombeck remains one of America’s favorite humorists. When God Created Mothers republishes one of her most popular Mother’s Day columns as an illustrated keepsake book that offers a touching description of all the characteristics a mother must possess.When it first appeared in Erma Bombeck's Mother’s Day column in 1974, When God Created Mothers was an instant success, clipped from newspapers, tucked into purses, and tacked onto refrigerators all over America. Now in this beautiful keepsake edition, Bombeck’s moving words are paired with original art that bring to life the warm portrait of motherhood contained within.An angel marvels at the detail and overtime that the good Lord is putting into his creation of mothers. Despite the six pairs of hands and the three pairs of eyes that every mother needs, the angel thinks she has discovered a flaw:“There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.”“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord. “It’s a tear.”“What’s it for?”“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness and pride.”“You are a genius,” said the angel.The Lord looked somber, “I didn’t put it there.”Every mother will treasure this moving tribute, penned by America’s most beloved expert on motherhood.
When Grandpa Delivered Babies and Other Ozarks Vignettes
by Benjamin G. RaderPeople in the Ozarks have long told humorous vignettes that make sense of triumph and tragedy, relay family and local history, and of course entertain. Benjamin G. Rader’s memoir offers a loving portrait of the Ozarks of his youth, where his grandfather midwifed babies and his great uncle Jerry Rader laughed so hard at one of his own stories that he choked to death on a pork chop. As he reveals the Ozarks of the 1930s through 1950s, Rader dispels the myths of the region’s people as isolated and sharing a single set of values and behaviors. He also takes readers inside the life of the extended Rader family and its neighborhoods, each of which drew on storytelling to strengthen resolve in lives roiled by change, economic depression, and the shift of daily life from the country to the city. An alluring blend of remembering and reflection, When Grandpa Delivered Babies and Other Ozarks Vignettes provides a vivid portrait of a fading time.
When Grumpy Met Sunshine: A Novel
by Charlotte SteinA steamy, opposites-attract romance with undeniable chemistry between a grumpy retired footballer and his fabulous and very sunshine-y ghostwriter. When grumpy ex-footballer Alfie Harding gets badgered into selling his memoirs, he knows he’s never going to be able to write them. He hates revealing a single thing about himself, is allergic to most emotions, and can’t imagine doing a good job of putting pen to paper.And so in walks curvy, cheery, cute as heck ghostwriter Mabel Willicker, who knows just how to sunshine and sass her way into getting every little detail out of Alfie. They banter and bicker their way to writing his life story, both of them sure they’ll never be anything other than at odds.But after their business arrangement is mistaken for a budding romance, the pair have to pretend to be an item for a public who’s ravenous for more of this Cinderella story. Or at least, it feels like it’s pretend—until each slow burn step in their fake relationship sparks a heat neither can control. Now they just have to decide: is this sizzling chemistry just for show? Or something so real it might just give them their fairytale ending?
When Happily Ever After Fails: A Novel
by Courtney Deane"A witty, well-paced, and original story—gimme all the Courtney Deane books with a big glass of rosé, please!” —Lizzy Dent, author of The Summer Job and The Sweetest RevengeTwentysomething Abigail Gardner’s life is circling the drain. Her parents are dead, her “like a brother” is in love with her, and her nascent career as an art teacher was fully squashed by an unfortunate viral incident involving sophomores and Spanx.But just as that whirlpool feels poised to suck her down completely, she’s granted a second chance: she lands a teaching job at Excelsior Primm, one of Philadelphia’s oldest and most prestigious preparatory academies. Only problem is, instead of teaching art she’ll be stuck teaching her least favorite subject—literature—and her least favorite theme: tragedy.Tired of being stuck in her own tragic tale, Abigail starts rewriting every sad ending she can get her hands on, in and out of the classroom. To her surprise, her life soon starts to resemble the fairy tales she adores—great job, hot guy, a career gaining recognition. But when an unexpected plot twist threatens to derail her happy ending, Abigail begins to realize why these conclusions are so hard to come by.
When Harry Hit the Hamptons
by Mara Goodman-Davies Cathy BouchardHarry, toast of the L.A. party scene, has just landed in the Hamptons facing an ultimatum: clean up his act or be cut off from the family fortune. But the "sleepy resort" that his father remembers is now the hottest party scene on the East Coast. And everyone has plans for Harry...Soon, millions are riding on who can win his heart and his hand-in marriage, that is. Two women-an overweight heiress and a self-made, but heartbroken, businesswoman-vie for the prize. But can anyone really tame Harry?Author Mara Goodman-Davies grew up among the Hamptons elite before turning to comedy and writing. When Harry Hit the Hamptons is filled with the kind of delicious gossip only an insider could know.Goodman-Davies dishes on the flings and schemes of the rich and famous in this hilarious and heartwarming debut novel-a lively ride through a summer of love and trickery, all set against the celebrity-filled Hamptons scene.
When He Was Wicked: Bridgerton (Bridgertons #6)
by Julia QuinnA New York Times BestsellerFrom #1 New York Times bestselling author Julia Quinn comes the story of Francesca Bridgerton, in the sixth of her beloved Regency-set novels featuring the charming, powerful Bridgerton family, now a series created by Shondaland for Netflix.FRANCESCA’S STORYIn every life there is a turning point. A moment so tremendous, so sharp and breathtaking, that one knows one’s life will never be the same. For Michael Stirling, London’s most infamous rake, that moment came the first time he laid eyes on Francesca Bridgerton.After a lifetime of chasing women, of smiling slyly as they chased him, of allowing himself to be caught but never permitting his heart to become engaged, he took one look at Francesca Bridgerton and fell so fast and hard into love it was a wonder he managed to remain standing. Unfortunately for Michael, however, Francesca’s surname was to remain Bridgerton for only a mere thirty-six hours longer—the occasion of their meeting was, lamentably, a supper celebrating her imminent wedding to his cousin.But that was then . . . Now Michael is the earl and Francesca is free, but still she thinks of him as nothing other than her dear friend and confidant. Michael dares not speak to her of his love . . . until one dangerous night, when she steps innocently into his arms, and passion proves stronger than even the most wicked of secrets . . .
When Hitler Took Cocaine and Lenin Lost His Brain: History's Unknown Chapters
by Giles MiltonObscure and addictive true tales from history told by one of our most entertaining historians, Giles MiltonThe first installment in Giles Milton's outrageously entertaining series, History's Unknown Chapters: colorful and accessible, intelligent and illuminating, Milton shows his customary historical flair as he delves into the little-known stories from the past.There's the cook aboard the Titanic, who pickled himself with whiskey and survived in the icy seas where most everyone else died. There's the man who survived the atomic bomb in both Hiroshima and Nagasaki. And there's many, many more. Covering everything from adventure, war, murder and slavery to espionage, including the stories of the female Robinson Crusoe, Hitler's final hours, Japan's deadly balloon bomb and the emperor of the United States, these tales deserve to be told.
When I Grow Up
by Wes Hargis Al Yankovic'Cause maybe I'll be a gorilla masseuse Or an artist who sculpts out of chocolate mousse Or a rodeo clown or a movie director Or maybe professional pickle inspector... Billy's classmates may have never considered careers in snail training or sumo wrestling before, but by the time the exuberant eight-year-old is done cataloging his dream jobs, they just might share his belief in unlimited potential! Virtuoso wordplay, irresistible rhythm, and laugh-out-loud humor abound in the first picture book by the one and only "Weird Al" Yankovic. This unbridled celebration of creativity and possibility invites readers of all ages to consider afresh what they want to be when they grow up.
When I Grow Up
by Tim MinchinGREAT GRADUATION GIFT!Tim Minchin's Tony Award-winning lyrics from Matilda the Musical are paired with new artwork from bestselling illustrator Steve Antony.When I grow up,I will be tall enoughto reach the branches that I need to reachto climb the treesyou get to climb when you're grown up. A group of children imagines all of the things that they will be able to do once they grow up, and they plan to do anything and everything. They hope to solve problems, play in the sun all day long, be brave, and even eat ice cream all day. The combination of Tim Minchin's Tony Award-winning Matilda the Musical lyrics and Steve Antony's joyful artwork is sure to inspire readers of all ages to explore the endless possibilities that the future could have in store.
When I Grow Up I Want to Be 60
by Crisp Wendy ReidThe author of "100 Things I'm Not Going to Do Now That I'm Over 50" turns hergimlet eye to the next watershed age for boomers: turning 60.
When I Think of You: the perfect second chance Hollywood romance
by Myah Ariel'[A] stunning debut with explosive chemistry' KENNEDY RYANIn this sweeping second chance romance from debut author Myah Ariel, the unexpected spark of two former flames may force them to choose between their dreams and each other.A second chance at first love . . .Kaliya Wilson has paid her dues. But all the years behind the reception desk at a flashy film studio have only pushed her movie-making dreams further out of reach. That is, until a surprise reunion presents an opportunity that could make her career, or break her heart . . . a second time. It's been seven years since Kaliya's whirlwind college romance with Danny Prescott went up in flames. While her passions have stalled, his career is taking off. So when the hot shot director reappears to offer her a job on his next production, it's a shock to the system. Working with Danny may recapture the intensity of their film school days, but trusting him again won't come as easily. As the pair allows themselves the openness and vulnerability to entrust their deepest truths to each other, the possibility of a true connection draws ever closer. But when Hollywood politics and scandal threaten to sink the production and her career, Kaliya may have to risk everything to do what's right - even if it means letting go of the second chance love of a lifetime.'A funny, engaging, poignant love story' FARRAH ROCHON'A sparkling debut that had me turning pages into the night' KATE CLAYBORN'A swoon-inducing second-chance romance' Library Journal (starred review)