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Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?: Big Questions From Tiny Mortals
by Caitlin DoughtyNew York Times Bestseller Winner of a Goodreads Choice Award “Funny, dark, and at times stunningly existential.” —Marianne Eloise, Guardian Everyone has questions about death. In Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs?, best-selling author and mortician Caitlin Doughty answers the most intriguing questions she’s ever received about what happens to our bodies when we die. In a brisk, informative, and morbidly funny style, Doughty explores everything from ancient Egyptian death rituals and the science of skeletons to flesh-eating insects and the proper depth at which to bury your pet if you want Fluffy to become a mummy. Now featuring an interview with a clinical expert on discussing these issues with young people—the source of some of our most revealing questions about death—Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? confronts our common fear of dying with candid, honest, and hilarious facts about what awaits the body we leave behind.
Will Not Attend: Lively Stories of Detachment and Isolation
by Adam ResnickAdam Resnick, an Emmy Award-winning writer for NBC's Late Night with David Letterman, has spent his entire life trying to avoid interaction with people. While courageously admitting to being "euphorically antisocial" and "sick in the head," he allows us to plunge even deeper into his troubled psyche in this unabashedly uproarious memoir-in-essays where we observe Resnick's committed indifference to family, friends, strangers, and the world at large. His mind shaped by such touchstone events as a traumatic Easter egg hunt when he was six (which solidified his hatred of parties) and overwrought by obsessions, including one with a plastic shopping bag (which solidified his hatred for change), he refuses to be burdened by chores like basic social obligation and personal growth, living instead by his own steadfast rule: "I refuse to do anything I don't want to do." Cut from a similar (if somewhat stranger) cloth as Albert Brooks or Louis C.K., Resnick is the crazy, miserable bastard you can't help rooting for, and the brilliant Will Not Attend showcases this seasoned comedy writer at his brazenly hilarious best.
Will Rogers: Wise and Witty Sayings of a Great American Humorist
by Will RogersA delightful collection of Rogers' newspaper columns. He had a sharp wit, but he used it kindly. In his daily column, which appeared on the morning front page of nearly 400 newspapers, he took cracks at capital and labor, bankers and farmers, but through it all there was the thread of forgiveness and national unity. The insulting, personal humor of today was quite foreign to Will Rogers. He lived in a time that is now long past, when more people lived in the country than the city. I think his point of view is best summed up in a remark he once made to an audience in New York, "They may call me a 'rube' and a 'hick,' but I'd a lot rather be the man who bought the Brooklyn Bridge than the man who sold it." That was Will Rogers.
Will Save the Galaxy for Food
by Yahtzee CroshawA not-quite epic science fiction adventure about a down-on-his luck galactic pilot caught in a cross-galaxy struggle for survival! Space travel just isn't what it used to be. With the invention of Quantum Teleportation, space heroes aren't needed anymore. When one particularly unlucky ex-adventurer masquerades as famous pilot and hate figure Jacques McKeown, he's sucked into an ever-deepening corporate and political intrigue. Between space pirates, adorable deadly creatures, and a missing fortune in royalties, saving the universe was never this difficult!From the creator of Mogworld and Jam!Benjamin Richard "Yahtzee" Croshaw is a British-Australian comedic writer, video game journalist, author, and video game developer. He is perhaps best known for his acerbic video game review series, Zero Punctuation, for The Escapist.
Will They or Won't They: A Novel
by Ava WilderOnscreen, they&’re in love. Offscreen, they can&’t stand each other. From the author of How to Fake It in Hollywood comes &“a sexy lovers-to-enemies-to-lovers romance that smolders then bursts into flames&” (Abby Jimenez, New York Times bestselling author of Part of Your World).&“Wilder takes readers behind the scenes of a television shoot in this fun contemporary romance. . . . Fans of Emily Henry and Christina Lauren should check this out.&”—Publishers WeeklyLilah Hunter and Shane McCarthy are madly in love—at least, their characters are. As the stars of the hit paranormal TV show Intangible, Lilah and Shane spent years pining for each other onscreen . . . until Lilah ditched the show at the end of season five in hopes of becoming a movie star. With no such luck, she&’s back to film the much-hyped ninth and final season, in which Lilah and Shane&’s characters will get together at last.But coming back means facing one of the biggest reasons she left: Shane. Ever since their secret behind-the-scenes fling imploded at the end of season one, the two of them have despised each other.Now reunited on set for the first time in years—with the world&’s eyes on them and their post-show careers on the line—they&’ll have to grit their teeth and play nice. But under pressure to give Intangible&’s fans the happy ending they&’ve been waiting for, Lilah and Shane are forced to get closer than ever. And if they&’re not careful, they might just get blindsided by one final twist: a real-life happy ending of their own.
Will You Help Me Fall Asleep?
by Anna KangHelp your child learn how to drift off happily on their own with this calming bedtime story. Monty the frog just can't get to sleep. He's tried everything. Counting sheep doesn't work, his book is far too scary... and the more he thinks about sleep, the more worried he becomes! But, as Monty discovers, sometimes the best thing to do is to simply take a deep breath and think happy thoughts.Children can often struggle to fall asleep independently. This warm and funny picture book is perfect for dealing with bedtime anxiety, giving children the tools they need to fall asleep all on their own!If you love The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep, you'll love this!
Will, Middle Name Trouble
by Buffy AndrewsSometimes we find more than we're looking for... Will Moran is always getting into trouble. But this time, Will, who cleans and cooks and takes care of his younger twin sisters while his mom works, didn't do it. Will's class is collecting donations to benefit the local soup kitchen. Every time his teacher catches Will earning a buck from a bet, it ends up in the donation can. When the money goes missing, Will's the prime suspect. After all, most of the money came from him. Will and his eclectic group of friends set out to find the thief and prove his innocence, but they end up finding so much more.
Willbee the Bumblebee
by Craig Smith Maureen ThomsonA catchy rhyme with endearing illustrations that will leave you buzzing!From the #1 New York Times-bestselling author and illustrator behind The Wonky Donkey comes Willbee the Bumblebee, a catchy rhyme with endearing illustrations that will leave you buzzing!Willbee the bumblebee is so embarrassed when he realizes that his black-and-yellow jacket has caught on a rose thorn and completely unraveled, showing his bare bum! With help from Monica the butterfly and Steve the spider, Willbee recovers his jacket and is back to buzzing around the garden in no time.
William Shakespeare Rewritten by You
by Joelle HerrREWRITE THE BARD'S WORDS FOR IRREVERENT FUN AND LITERARY LAUGHSDo you want to have some fun with Shakespeare?Rip the quill from the Bard's immortal hands and pen hilarious versions of the most-beloved scenes from:HamletTo be STRIP, or not to be STRIP, that is the question. Romeo and JulietWhat light FART through yonder window breaks?MacbethIs this a dagger JOINT which I see before me?Much Ado About NothingIf thou dost love BOFF, my kindness VIBRATOR shall incite theeA Midsummer Night's Dream So, good night unto you all.Give FEED me your hands BRAINS ,if we be friends,And Robin YOUR MOMMA shall restore amends. AND MORE!
William Shakespeare's Get Thee Back to the Future!
by Ian DoescherIn the iconic film by Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale, teenaged Marty McFly travels back in time from the 1980s to the 1950s, changing the path of his parents’ destiny . . . as well as his own. Now fans of the movie can journey back even further—to the 16th century, when the Bard of Avon unveils his latest masterpiece: William Shakespeare’s Get Thee Back to the Future! Every scene and line of dialogue from the hit movie is re-created with authentic Shakespearean rhyme, meter, and stage directions. This reimagining also includes jokes and Easter eggs for movie fans, from Huey Lewis call-outs to the inner thoughts of Einstein (the dog). By the time you’ve finished reading, you’ll be convinced that Shakespeare had a time-traveling DeLorean of his own, speeding to our era so he could pen this time-tossed tale.
William Shakespeare's Jedi the Last: Star Wars Part the Eighth (William Shakespeare's Star Wars #8)
by Ian DoescherExperience the Star Wars saga reimagined as an Elizabethan drama penned by William Shakespeare himself, complete with authentic meter and verse, and theatrical monologues and dialog by everyone from Luke Skywalker to Rose Tico.The Star Wars saga continues, with Bard of Avon providing some of the biggest shocks yet! Alack, the valiant Resistance must flee from the scoundrels of the First Order, and it falls to Rey, Finn, Poe, Rose, and BB-8 to take up arms against sea of troubles. Can they bring Snoke’s schemes to woe, destruction, ruin, and decay? Will Luke Skywalker take the stage once more, and aid General Leia in the winter of her discontent?Authentic meter, stage directions, reimagined movie scenes and dialogue, and hidden Easter eggs throughout will entertain and impress fans of Star Wars and Shakespeare alike. Every scene and character from the film appears in the play, along with twenty woodcut-style illustrations that depict an Elizabethan version of the Star Wars galaxy.
William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Mean Girls (Pop Shakespeare #1)
by Ian DoescherPower struggles. Bitter rivalries. Jealousy. Betrayals. Star-crossed lovers. When you consider all these plot points, it’s pretty surprising William Shakespeare didn’t write Mean Girls. But now fans can treat themselves to the epic drama—and heroic hilarity—of the classic teen comedy rendered with the wit, flair, and iambic pentameter of the Bard. Our heroine Cady disguises herself to infiltrate the conniving Plastics, falls for off-limits Aaron, struggles with her allegiance to newfound friends Damian and Janis, and stirs up age-old vendettas among the factions of her high school. Best-selling author Ian Doescher brings his signature Shakespearean wordsmithing to this cult classic beloved by generations of teen girls and other fans. Now, on the 15th anniversary of its release, Mean Girls is a recognized cultural phenomenon, and it’s more than ready for an Elizabethan makeover.
William Shakespeare's Star Wars
by Ian DoescherReturn once more to a galaxy far, far away with this sublime retelling of George Lucas's epic Star Wars in the style of the immortal Bard of Avon. The saga of a wise (Jedi) knight and an evil (Sith) lord, of a beautiful princess held captive and a young hero coming of age, Star Wars abounds with all the valor and villainy of Shakespeare's greatest plays. 'Tis a tale told by fretful droids, full of faithful Wookiees and fearstome Stormtroopers, signifying...pretty much everything.Reimagined in glorious iambic pentameter--and complete with twenty gorgeous Elizabethan illustrations--William Shakespeare's Star Wars will astound and edify Rebels and Imperials alike. Zounds! This is the book you're looking for.
William Shakespeare's Star Wars
by Ian DoescherReturn once more to a galaxy far, far away with this sublime retelling of George Lucas's epic Star Wars in the style of the immortal Bard of Avon. The saga of a wise (Jedi) knight and an evil (Sith) lord, of a beautiful princess held captive and a young hero coming of age, Star Wars abounds with all the valor and villainy of Shakespeare's greatest plays. 'Tis a tale told by fretful droids, full of faithful Wookiees and fearstome Stormtroopers, signifying...pretty much everything.Reimagined in glorious iambic pentameter--and complete with twenty gorgeous Elizabethan illustrations--William Shakespeare's Star Wars will astound and edify Rebels and Imperials alike. Zounds! This is the book you're looking for.
William Shakespeare's Star Wars Trilogy: The Royal Imperial Boxed Set
by Ian DoescherMay the verse be with you! Return once more to a galaxy far, far away with this retelling of George Lucas's Star Wars® Trilogy in the style of the immortal William Shakespeare. This Royal Imperial Boxed Set includes all three volumes in the original trilogy: Verily, A New Hope; The Empire Striketh Back; and The Jedi Doth Return.
William Shakespeare's The Clone Army Attacketh
by Ian Doescher<p>To Shmi or not to Shmi? <p>The curtain rises on yeoman Jedi Anakin Skywalker, a man torn between duty to his Masters, attraction to Padmé, and concern for his beloved mother, Shmi. His choices will determine not just his own destiny, but that of the entire Republic. An thereby hangs a tale. <p>A noble lady in danger. A knight and squire in battle. And a forbidden love written in the stars. The quill of William Shakespeare meets the galaxy of George Lucas... complete with period illustrations, insightful soliloquies, and masterful meter that will convince you the Bard himself penned this epic adventure.</p>
William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back
by Ian DoescherThe saga that began with the interstellar best seller William Shakespeare's Star Wars continues with this merry reimagining of George Lucas's enduring classic The Empire Strikes Back.Many a fortnight have passed since the destruction of the Death Star. Young Luke Skywalker and his friends have taken refuge on the ice planet of Hoth, where the evil Darth Vader has hatched a cold-blooded plan to capture them. Only with the help of a little green Jedi Master--and a swaggering rascal named Lando Calrissian--can our heroes escape the Empire's wrath. And only then will Lord Vader learn how sharper than a tauntaun's tooth it is to have a Jedi child.What light through Yoda's window breaks? Methinks you'll find out in the pages of The Empire Striketh Back!
William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back
by Ian DoescherThe saga that began with the interstellar best seller William Shakespeare's Star Wars continues with this merry reimagining of George Lucas's enduring classic The Empire Strikes Back.Many a fortnight have passed since the destruction of the Death Star. Young Luke Skywalker and his friends have taken refuge on the ice planet of Hoth, where the evil Darth Vader has hatched a cold-blooded plan to capture them. Only with the help of a little green Jedi Master--and a swaggering rascal named Lando Calrissian--can our heroes escape the Empire's wrath. And only then will Lord Vader learn how sharper than a tauntaun's tooth it is to have a Jedi child.What light through Yoda's window breaks? Methinks you'll find out in the pages of The Empire Striketh Back!
William Shakespeare's The Force Doth Awaken: Star Wars Part the Seventh
by Ian DoescherExperience The Force Awakens as a Shakespeare play, complete with Elizabethan verse, Shakespearian monologues, and theatrical stage directions! As the noble Resistance clashes with the vile First Order, Rey, Finn, Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren, and BB-8 are pulled into a galaxy-wide drama—in iambic pentameter! Star Wars fans and Shakespeare enthusiasts alike will enjoy the authentic meter, reimagined movie scenes and dialogue, and hidden Easter eggs throughout. Chewbacca speaks! Leader Snoke gives a soliloquy! And the romance of Han Solo and Leia Organa takes a tragic turn that Shakespeare would approve of. All with woodcut-style illustrations that place Star Wars characters into an Elizabethan galaxy. The story may take place in a galaxy far, far away, but you’ll be convinced it was written by the Bard.
William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return
by Ian DoescherHot on the heels of the New York Times best seller William Shakespeare's Star Wars comes the next two installments of the original trilogy: William Shakespeare's The Empire Striketh Back and William Shakespeare's The Jed Doth Return. Return to the star-crossed galaxy far, far away as the brooding young hero, a power-mad emperor, and their jesting droids match wits, struggle for power, and soliloquize in elegant and impeccable iambic pentameter. Illustrated with beautiful black-and-white Elizabethan-style artwork, these two plays offer essential reading for all ages. Something Wookiee this way comes!
William Shakespeare's The Merry Rise of Skywalker: Star Wars Part the Ninth (William Shakespeare's Star Wars #9)
by Ian DoescherComplete your collection of the William Shakespeare&’s Star Wars® series and experience the blockbuster finale to the Star Wars® saga in a brand-new way, here reimagined as though it had been penned by the Bard of Avon.As our story opens, a sea of troubles threatens the valiant Resistance, who are pursued by the sound and fury of the vile First Order. Can Rey, Poe, Finn, Rose, BB-8, Chewbacca, and their allies overcome such toil and trouble? Shall Kylo Ren be proven fortune&’s fool or master of his fate? What will become of the House of Skywalker? And is all well that ends well? Authentic meter, stage directions, reimagined movie scenes and dialogue, and hidden Easter eggs will entertain and impress fans of Star Wars® and Shakespeare alike. Every scene and character from the film appears in the book, along with twenty woodcut-style illustrations that depict an Elizabethan version of the Star Wars® galaxy.
William Shakespeare's The Phantom of Menace
by Ian DoescherJoin us, good gentles, for a merry reimagining of Star Wars: Episode 1 as only Shakespeare could have written it. The entire saga starts here, with a thrilling tale featuring a disguised queen, a young hero, and two fearless knights facing a hidden, vengeful enemy. 'Tis a true Shakespearean drama, filled with sword fights, soliloquies, and doomed romance . . . all in glorious iambic pentameter and coupled with twenty gorgeous Elizabethan illustrations. Hold on to your midi-chlorians: The play's the thing, wherein you'll catch the rise of Anakin!
William Shakespeare's The Taming of the Clueless (Pop Shakespeare #3)
by Ian DoescherJust in time for the movie&’s 25th anniversary, best-selling author Ian Doescher rolleth with the homies as he brings his signature Shakespearean wordsmithing to this beloved tale.Clueless gets a makeover that Cher Horowitz and the Bard would approve of in this charming and witty retelling of the beloved &’90s movie, presented as an authentic Shakespearean play written in iambic pentameter. Cher, the fairest maiden of Beverly Hills, takes center stage in this comedy of errors in which matchmaking, makeovers, and mall-hopping lead to plenty of merry-making—until Cher realizes her good intentions are creating mischief for her friends and family, including her new best friend Tai and her cute stepbrother Josh. The only solution? Admit that she knoweth nothing and beginneth anew.
William Shakespeare's Tragedy of the Sith's Revenge
by Ian DoescherThe curtain rises once again on that star-crossed galaxy far, faraway--this time, to chronicle a once-heroic knight's transformation into the darkest of villains. William Shakespeare's Tragedy of the Sith's Revenge is the climactic conclusion to the fall of the house of Skywalker, a collaboration between William Shakespeare and George Lucas that's filled with masterful meter, stirring soliloquies, inside jokes, and intricate Elizabethan illustrations. You'll fall in love with Star Wars--and Shakespeare--all over again. At the same time!
William Tell Told Again
by P. G. WodehouseWilliam Tell Told Again' is a retelling of the William Tell legend in prose and verse. The main, prose element was written by P. G. Wodehouse, while the verses were written by John W. Houghton. A fun read for children of all ages, from 5 to 105.