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Zits Apocalypse: Are You Ready? (Zits Ser. #32)
by Jerry Scott Jim BorgmanTeenagers are a lot like zombies--slow-moving, difficult to communicate with, and always, always hungry. Luckily, Zits Apocalypse is here to shed some light on the ups, downs, and in-betweens of parenting teens. Join the Duncan family--Connie, Walt, and Jeremy--as they grapple with modern technology, confront an endless sea of dirty laundry, and learn to bridge the cultural divide between parents and teenagers.Zits Apocalypse offers a light-hearted yet insightful look at the multifaceted lives of modern teens and their families, complemented with annotations from the creators. From financial trouble to the perils of young love, this collection broaches relevant and familiar topics with with, wit, humor, and affection.
Zits from Python Pit #6
by Keith Zoo M. D. PayneAfter defeating an evil mummy in Egypt, Chris and the others are mystically summoned to the heart of the Congo by a new evil. There they find a legendary serpent beast that has infected all the kids with nasty, blistery, snake-filled zits. Together with their monster friends, the kids have to uncover the secret of the Python Pit and defeat this new slithering threat before it's too late.
Zits: Shredded (Zits #2)
by Jerry ScottZits jumps from the comics page to the bookshelf, and Zits: Shredded is perfect for fans of James Patterson's Homeroom Diaries as well as the Zits comic strip!Jeremy Duncan and his friends Hector and Pierce are hitting the road! That is, if they can squeeze enough french fries to get their newly veggie oil–powered van to Dog Tired Records in Sheboygan, Wisconsin. It's road trip time!Comics genius Stan Lee calls Zits "a comedic masterpiece."Featuring black-and-white illustrations on every page, Zits: Shredded is based on the hit syndicated comic strip.
Zix Zexy Ztories
by Curt LeviantA humorous collection of love stories from an award-winning author who has been called &“a compassionate and witty satirist&” (Kirkus Reviews). From Holocaust survivors to Yiddish artists, a petty thief and a Polish shiksa with a passion for Jewish history, what unites the delectable characters in Curt Leviant&’s witty collection of romantic tales is the universal desire for love and admiration. With settings as various as the Deep South, Boston, New York, Italy, Israel, each story is a wry look at romantic pursuit, each relationship as unique as the lovers themselves. Whether or not love succeeds for Leviant&’s all-too-human characters, the journey is always filled with humor and heart.
Zoe and the Tormented Tycoon (The Balfour Brides)
by Kate HewittA spoiled socialite and a troubled mogul share a hot night that will transform their lives forever in this contemporary romance.Everyone’s talking about Zoe Balfour—the illegitimate heiress! She flies to New York to discover more about her biological family and goes a little wild, shocking even herself by spending one night with a gorgeous stranger. . . . The gradual loss of his sight has caused Manhattan mogul Max Monroe to close himself off from the world—a wife and child are most certainly not on his agenda! How will Zoe, once just a spoiled socialite and now unexpectedly pregnant, unlock the dark heart of a man who may never see his own child?
Zoe Brennan, First Crush: A Spicy Sapphic Rom-Com
by Laura Piper LeeA struggling vineyard owner gets a second taste of her first crush in this romantic comedy that sparkles with humor and heat. Zoe Brennan may be the loneliest lesbian in Blue Ridge, but at least she has her family vineyard to keep her busy. When a prestigious wine festival announces it&’s coming to town, it kicks off a battle royale among local vineyards vying for the opportunity to host it. Zoe&’s in it to win it—being chosen would put Bluebell Vineyards on the map, and she could stick it to the vineyard next door, run by her ex–best friend (now enemy), Rachel. But when Zoe&’s father is called home to Italy to care for his sick mother, Bluebell is left without a vintner. Dejected, Zoe impulsively agrees to a blindfolded threesome with a friend, and excitingly, a stranger. But once the blindfolds come off, Zoe realizes the hot butch that rocked her world isn&’t a stranger at all. It&’s Laine Woods—Zoe&’s first crush, Rachel&’s big sister, and, Zoe is horrified to discover, the Napa-trained vintner Zoe&’s dad just hired as his replacement. While they try to ignore their sizzling chemistry, Laine&’s snobbery and Zoe&’s pride collide at every step, creating a generous pour of professional—and sexual—tension. Collaborating is the only way to win the festival, but when that means late nights under the stars and letting go of the past, Zoe must be careful—or Laine might crush her heart for good.Perfect for fans of romance novels who enjoy their smut wrapped in wit and wine, Zoe Brennan, First Crush delivers everything lesbian romance readers crave - from deliciously crafted enemies to lovers tension to the cozy comfort of small town romance charm. Readers who enjoy some depth to their spicy books will love this intoxicating tale of a vineyard owner getting a second chance with her first crush.
Zoey Is Too Drunk for This Dystopia (Zoey Ashe #3)
by Jason ParginZoey is Too Drunk for This Dystopia is the latest installment in New York Times bestselling author Jason Pargin's thrilling Zoey Ashe sci-fi series.Zoey Ashe wakes up every day feeling like she’s trying to steer a battleship while tied to the propeller. The twenty-three-year-old heiress to a criminal empire is navigating a futuristic world of high-tech liars and cutthroats, forced to learn the rules of a devious game she never asked to play. Now she’s facing a crisis that is both bigger and stranger than all that came before:The gleaming new city of Tabula Ra$a is hosting its massive annual music festival, which every year precedes the equally massive annual drunken riot. This is all organized by Zoey's people, including the riot. As her advisors explain, the citizens need a little controlled chaos now and then. Zoey, however, fears the chaos will not stay controlled for long.When a horrific crime is broadcast live on an all-seeing social network, Zoey and her team suspect a carefully-stage hoax arranged by one of the Tabula Ra$a’s shadowy power players. But in a city in which lies are always served in layers, even that explanation will prove far too simple.
Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick: A Novel (Zoey Ashe #2)
by Jason Pargin David WongTHE NATIONAL BESTSELLERNew York Times bestselling author David Wong's Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick is the latest—and arguably greatest—sci-fi thriller in the Zoey Ashe Series.In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the twenty-three year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most lavish and ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She is even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house. Speaking in an electronic voice, it publicly accuses Zoey of being its murderer. This is the kind of thing that almost never happened at her old job.The city was already a ticking time bomb of publicity-hungry vigilantes with superhuman enhancements and Zoey knows this turn of events is unlikely to improve the situation. Now, she and her team of high-tech tricksters have to solve this bizarre murder while simultaneously keeping Tabula Ra$a from descending into chaos.“Biting humor and blatant digs at modern society overlay a subtly brilliant and thoughtful plot” (Publishers Weekly) in John Dies at the End author David Wong’s first installment of the Zoey Ashe Series, Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits. Now, “one of today’s great satirists” (Nerdist) is back with Zoey Punches the Future in the Dick, the second installment in a “Technicolor tomorrowland.” (Kirkus Reviews)
Zombie Apocalypse (Tales from the Scaremaster #4)
by B. A. FradeA new entry in the frightfully fun series perfect for fans of Goosebumps.Ryan and Tyler are obsessed with zombies-each year, they tie for first place at their school's annual costume contest with their grosser than gross zombie costumes. When some seriously spooky looking zombies show up at the dance this year, the boys think someone has called in a Hollywood makeup artist to finally snag the trophy. Little do they know, this isn't a case of special effects...it's a Zombie Apocalypse, courtesy of the Scaremaster! Can they outwit the Scaremaster and save their classmates, or will their brains be on the menu?
The Zombie at the Finish Line: The Zombie at the Finish Line (Scream Team #4)
by Bill DoyleDon't fall apart. Try to hold yourself together. This is no time to go to pieces. There's a zombie at the finish line!It's time for the Junior Monster League's track-and-field competition. Unfortunately, Patsy the Zombie just can't seem to hold herself together for any of the events. She's trained for the Die-athalon but keeps losing her head before she can finish. But then the team pulls together and realizes that they all have a special talent for their own event...even Patsy.
A Zombie Ate My Homework (Project Z #1)
by Tommy GreenwaldArnold Z. Ombee has escaped a secret government zombie project -- but now can he survive human elementary school?From the hilarious mind behind the Crimebiters series comes a new trilogy that fans of The Last Kids on Earth will love to pieces (literally). Arnold Z. Ombee has escaped a secret government lab that's developing zombies. Young, scared, and alone, he is found by the Kinders, a warmhearted couple who take him in. The Kinders decide Arnold will become part of their family. They help him disguise his undead appearance and teach him how to act like a human boy. After a lot of practice, he's ready for the ultimate test: Fifth grade!
Zombie Bake-Off
by Stephen Graham Jones&“[The] tale of a zombie horde reigning terror on the few humans left inside a building . . . a refreshing nod to the George Romero movies of old.&” —Mourning Goats There&’s not much rumbling during the Recipe Days show at the Lubbock Municipal Coliseum—except for stomachs, that is—until the professional wrestlers arrive early for their Saturday night matches. Chaos ensues when the home cooks are overrun by Xombie, the Hellbillies, and Jersey Devil Jill. They&’re not everyone&’s idea of family fun . . . especially when the rowdy wrestlers descend on the free donuts brought for the security team—and are turned into brain-eating zombies. The night&’s main event starts early with undead wrestlers squaring off against kitchen divas and soccer moms. And as the contagion spreads, the few survivors, armed with mixers, booth poles, and a Zamboni, must fight to keep their heads on straight—and off the menu. &“Zombie specialist Stephen Graham Jones shows how to put a fresh spin on a classic dish.&” —The Denver Post &“Zombie Bake-Off is fast, witty, original and ridiculously entertaining. Stephen Graham Jones has created an action-packed literary pastry that packs a sugar rush you just have to experience.&” —HorrorTalk
Zombie Butts from Uranus! (Butts #2)
by Andy GriffithsThis thrilling sequel to the bestselling "The Day My Butt Went Psycho" boldly goes where no butt has gone before. Can young Zack stop an invasion of Zombie Butts from taking over the planet? Or is Earth doomed to suffer the tyranny of the stinkiest space invaders this side of Uranus?
Zombie Butts from Uranus! (Andy Griffiths' Butt Series)
by Andy GriffithsIn this exciting sequel to The Day My Butt Went Psycho, a boy and his butt must protect the planet from ruthless rumps from outer space.Zack Freeman is on his way to becoming a first-rate butt-fighter. He has gone butt-to-butt with all kinds of stinky scoundrels and butts-gone-bad. But even our doody-full hero is a-gassed by these latest stench invaders.Their odor is unstoppable.Their mission is downright foul.And they won’t rest until Earth is wiped away by their nasty fumes! They’re Zombie Butts from Uranus! And the galaxy is but one boy (and his butt) away from total reek-dom . . . Praise for Zombie Butts from Uranus“Delivers innumerable gag-worthy gags.” —Publishers Weekly
Zombie Cat: The Tale of a Decomposing Kitty
by Bethany Straker Isabel AthertonTiddles is a suave, carefree kitty cat whose only pleasures in life are eating mice, wooing the ladies, and being generally apathetic toward his owner, Jake. But when a toxic spill occurs outside of town, Tiddles finds himself savagely attacked by a nasty-looking radioactive field mouse, and he wakes up as one of the undead. However, he still retains a bit of compassion and refrains--for now--from zombie Bacchanalian delights, such as eating living beings' brains! Umm . . . any brains at all!However, Tiddles, a.k.a. Zombie Cat, is decomposing rapidly and would prefer to live a normal life in the zombie apocalypse with his owner, Jake. But will Jake take in his former cuddly pet or will ZC be doomed to roam the streets trying to avoid the inevitable pull of his undead yearnings? Zombie Cat is a humorous adult picture book in the vein of Pat the Zombie and Ten Little Zombies: A Love Story. Isabel Atherton's quirky storytelling combined with Bethany Straker's captivating (and slightly grotesque!) illustrations make this the perfect addition to any Halloween collection. It's the ideal gift for any crazed zombie fanatic--or equally crazed cat lover.
The Zombie Chasers
by Steve Wolfhard John KloepferZombie Attack! When brain-gobbling zombies invade, a sleepover at Zack Clarke's house quickly turns into a Level-3 creep-over. The undead have infested the streets, filling the air with deathly moans and the stench of rotting flesh. Meet the Zombie Chasers: Zack: His house is a wreck, his sister's a zombie, and he's stolen his mom's Volvo. He's totally going to be grounded if he survives the night. . . . Rice: He's studied The Zombie Survival Guide, but is he prepared to fight the living dead? Madison: She seriously cannot believe her best friend has become a zombie and left her alone with these dweebs! They're on a mission to save the world, but first they have to survive their flesh-eating, half-dead neighbors-and one another. Can the Zombie Chasers make it out alive?
The Zombie Chasers #2: Undead Ahead
by John Kloepfer Steve WolfhardBRAAAAAINS!!! Zack Clarke, his best pal, Rice, and middle-school queen bee Madison Miller survived the night of the living dead-but the nightmare's not over yet! Zack's sister is a zombie and his parents might be goners. Rice has uncovered the source of the zombie outbreak, and Madison's health-drink habit may be the key to a cure. Ozzie, the newest zombie chaser, is a nunchaku-wielding, monster-fighting machine who's ready to kick some undead butt. The whole country-from their parents to the president-is counting on them. Can the Zombie Chasers save the nation from brain-gobbling ghouls? Or will the US of A become the US of Z?
The Zombie Chasers #3: Sludgment Day
by Steve Wolfhard John KloepferThe maul of America! It's been two days since a zombie virus turned Zack Clarke's parents, neighbors, and most of the country into brain-munching fiends. Zack and his crew of Zombie Chasers-Rice, Madison, Ozzie, and Zoe-are ready to end this nightmare once and for all! With the antidote in hand, the gang sets off on a wild cross-country road trip to defeat the evil genius behind the zombie apocalypse. After battling undead Elvis in Memphis, ghoulish tourists at a rest stop, and a crew of zweenyboppers at the Mall of America, the Zombie Chasers are still only halfway there! Will Sludgment Day be the dawn of the dead?
The Zombie Chasers #4: Empire State of Slime
by John KloepferZombies Take Manhattan! The Zombie Chasers are national heroes! Six months after Zack Clarke, his sister, Zoe, and pals Rice, Madison, and Ozzie saved the country from brain-gobbling ghouls, things are finally getting back to normal. The Romero Middle School kids are visiting New York City on their class trip and Zack and the crew even get to sneak in a TV interview between seeing all the Big Apple sites. But their trip goes from sublime to slime when millions of people mysteriously rezombify! The Zombie Chasers are back on undead duty, but can they escape the crowded city streets and find a new cure? Or is Z-Day here to stay?
Zombie Chasers 4-Book Collection
by John Kloepfer Steve WolfhardPerfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and The Strange Case of Origami Yoda, John Kloepfer's hilarious and stomach-churning Zombie Chasers tween series is overflowing with uproarious middle school humor, dead-on illustrations, and high-action adventure that will leave readers moaning for more. This collection contains the first four books in the series.The Zombie Chasers: Zombie Attack! When brain-gobbling zombies invade, a sleep¬over at Zack Clarke's house quickly turns into a Level-3 creep-over. The undead have infested the streets, filling the air with deathly moans and the stench of rotting flesh. The Zombie Chasers are on a mission to save the world, but first they have to survive their flesh-eating, half-dead neighbors--and one another.The Zombie Chasers #2: Undead Ahead: Zack's sister is a zombie and his parents might be goners. Rice has uncovered the source of the zombie outbreak, and Madison's health-drink habit may be the key to a cure. Ozzie, the newest zombie chaser, is a nunchaku-wielding, monster-fighting machine who's ready to kick some undead butt. The whole country--from their parents to the president--is counting on them. Can the Zombie Chasers save the nation from brain-gobbling ghouls? Or will the US of A become the US of Z?The Zombie Chasers #3: Sludgment Day: Zack and his crew of Zombie Chasers--Rice, Madison, Ozzie, and Zoe--are ready to end this nightmare once and for all! With the antidote in hand, the gang sets off on a wild cross-country road trip to defeat the evil genius behind the zombie apocalypse.The Zombie Chasers #4: Empire State of Slime: Six months after Zack Clarke, his sister, Zoe, and pals Rice, Ozzie, and Madison saved the country from brain-gobbling ghouls, life is finally heading back to normal. But while the kids are busy exploring the Big Apple's sites on a class trip to New York City, things go from sublime to slime when millions of people suddenly rezombify! The Zombie Chasers are back on undead duty, but can they escape the crowded city streets and find a new cure, or is Z-Day here to stay?
The Zombie Chasers #5: Nothing Left to Ooze
by John Kloepfer David DegrandThe living dead are back and they mean business in Nothing Left to Ooze, book five of John Kloepfer's sidesplitting Zombie Chasers tween series, with illustrations by David DeGrand. Loaded with middle school shenanigans, fast-paced adventure, hilarious black-and-white drawings throughout, and--of course--a slew of brain-gobbling ghouls, The Zombie Chasers #5: Nothing Left to Ooze is the perfect pick for fans of the series and zombie aficionados everywhere!After the original antidote wears off and millions of Americans suddenly rezombify, Zack Clarke and his crew of Zombie Chasers are on a mission to find a lasting cure. But to stop the undead for good, they'll have to track down a brand-new Zombie Chaser first!Hitting the road again, the Zombie Chasers set out on a zany international expedition where they'll have to plow through abominable snow zombies on the Niagara River and outrun slime-drooling thrill-seekers at the biggest and best amusement park in the country! With rotting fairy-tale princesses and half-dead vacationers, it's not just the Tilt-a-Whirl that will make them woozy. Can the Zombie Chasers end this carnival of frights before it's too late?
The Zombie Chasers #6: Zombies of the Caribbean
by John Kloepfer David DegrandThe Zombie Chasers take to the high seas in the sixth installment of John Kloepfer's hysterical Zombie Chasers tween series, illustrated by David DeGrand. Zack Clarke and his team--Zoe, Rice, Ozzie, Madison, and Olivia--have fled the infested coasts of Florida, chased by a ravenous mob of super zombies. With no antidote in sight, there's only one person who can help them now: an eccentric explorer and renowned zombie expert . . . but he's lying low in a zombie-proof bunker somewhere in the Caribbean. As the pals fend off decomposing pirates, crusty crewmates, and putrid sea creatures, they race to uncover the cure for zombies everywhere. But will they be able to defeat the zombies of the Caribbean before the cure and their plan go overboard? With all the middle school shenanigans, fast-paced adventure, and hilarious black-and-white drawings that have made this series so beloved by reluctant readers everywhere, The Zombie Chasers #6: Zombies of the Caribbean is a gore-larious romp not to be missed!
The Zombie Chasers #7: World Zombination
by John Kloepfer David DegrandIn the final book in the beloved Zombie Chasers series, Zack Clarke and his zombie-fighting team travel across the world in search of an antidote that will stop the brain-gobbling outbreak once and for all. <P><P>With all the middle school shenanigans, fast-paced adventure, and hilarious black-and-white drawings that have made this series a favorite of reluctant readers everywhere, The Zombie Chasers #7: World Zombination is an uproarious, gore-streaked finale that readers will love!From taming zombie jungle animals in Madagascar to unearthing zombie mummies--zummies--in Egypt to battling black-belt super zombies in China, it's the zombie chasers' slimiest adventure yet. Will the kids be able to get the antidote and unzombify the undead masses once and for all? Or will the putrid planet fall to the zombie scourge?
The Zombie Combat Manual
by Roger MaDuring a zombie outbreak, 98% of individuals will have to destroy their undead opponent without the aid of a firearm. Will you be ready? The Zombie Combat Manual is a comprehensive guide that demonstrates how anyone, from seasoned fighter to average citizen, can become an effective warrior in the inevitable battle against the undead. With detailed illustrations and firsthand accounts from zombie combat veterans, this manual provides readers with the information they need to emerge victoriously from a close combat encounter with a walking corpse. Now is the time to learn how to survive a hand-to-hand battle against the advancing army of the undead-before humans fall prey to their growing ranks.
Zombie Elementary
by Howard WhitehouseLarry Mullet is your typical fourth grader. He's not the biggest kid or the smartest kid or the best looking kid. He rides his bike, plays baseball, takes the school bus, avoids cafeteria food, and--oh yeah, he's a zombie hunting expert. Larry was just doing his usual thing when Alex Bates from Ms Hoag's class tried to eat him. Sadly, that was only the beginning. Something odd was going on at Brooks Elementary... and it was up to Larry and his friends to take charge (for some reason). Hilariously told interview-style as a record of the REAL story, and peppered with zombie tips and facts, zombie cheerleaders and plenty of gore, this book will be a surefire hit for anyone interested in a ghoulishly good life-or-death comedy.