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Born A Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
by Trevor NoahThe compelling, inspiring, (often comic) coming-of-age story of Trevor Noah, set during the twilight of apartheid and the tumultuous days of freedom that followed.One of the comedy world's brightest new voices, Trevor Noah is a light-footed but sharp-minded observer of the absurdities of politics, race and identity, sharing jokes and insights drawn from the wealth of experience acquired in his relatively young life. As host of the US hit show The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, he provides viewers around the globe with their nightly dose of biting satire, but here Noah turns his focus inward, giving readers a deeply personal, heartfelt and humorous look at the world that shaped him. Noah was born a crime, son of a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother, at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents' indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the first years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, take him away.A collection of eighteen personal stories, Born a Crime tells the story of a mischievous young boy growing into a restless young man as he struggles to find his place in a world where he was never supposed to exist. Born a Crime is equally the story of that young man's fearless, rebellious and fervently religious mother - a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence and abuse that ultimately threatens her own life.Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Noah illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and an unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a personal portrait of an unlikely childhood in a dangerous time, as moving and unforgettable as the very best memoirs and as funny as Noah's own hilarious stand-up. Born a Crime is a must listen.(P)2016 Audible, Inc.
Born A Crime: Stories from a South African Childhood
by Trevor NoahWINNER OF THE THURBER PRIZEThe compelling, inspiring, (often comic) coming-of-age story of Trevor Noah, set during the twilight of apartheid and the tumultuous days of freedom that followed.One of the comedy world's brightest new voices, Trevor Noah is a light-footed but sharp-minded observer of the absurdities of politics, race and identity, sharing jokes and insights drawn from the wealth of experience acquired in his relatively young life. As host of the US hit show The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, he provides viewers around the globe with their nightly dose of biting satire, but here Noah turns his focus inward, giving readers a deeply personal, heartfelt and humorous look at the world that shaped him. Noah was born a crime, son of a white Swiss father and a black Xhosa mother, at a time when such a union was punishable by five years in prison. Living proof of his parents' indiscretion, Trevor was kept mostly indoors for the first years of his life, bound by the extreme and often absurd measures his mother took to hide him from a government that could, at any moment, take him away.A collection of eighteen personal stories, Born a Crime tells the story of a mischievous young boy growing into a restless young man as he struggles to find his place in a world where he was never supposed to exist. Born a Crime is equally the story of that young man's fearless, rebellious and fervently religious mother - a woman determined to save her son from the cycle of poverty, violence and abuse that ultimately threatens her own life.Whether subsisting on caterpillars for dinner during hard times, being thrown from a moving car during an attempted kidnapping, or just trying to survive the life-and-death pitfalls of dating in high school, Noah illuminates his curious world with an incisive wit and an unflinching honesty. His stories weave together to form a personal portrait of an unlikely childhood in a dangerous time, as moving and unforgettable as the very best memoirs and as funny as Noah's own hilarious stand-up. Born a Crime is a must read.
Born Funny: A Comic's Chronicle Through The Rise Of Alt Comedy
by Tom McCaffreyStand-Up Comedy is a battlefield not for the faint of heart. You either die on that stage or you kill. In 2002, Steve Collin was a brand spanking new comic who accidentally stumbled onto a burgeoning irreverent New York comedy movement in its infancy. Alternative Comedy quickly gained a following as a backlash to the stale ‘club style’ of the 80’s. It was new and exciting, and Steve’s loose style of comedy was a perfect fit for the ‘Alt’ scene. But in comedy, timing is everything…just one misstep and you become a cautionary tale or a punchline. A former class clown and comedic natural, Steve enters the stand-up world wholly unprepared for the rejection, heavy drinking and cut-throat competition accompanying it. Recognized early on by comedy tastemakers as a talent to watch, and swiftly securing a litany of TV credits, Steve soon gets caught up in a whirlwind of endless shows, free drinks and the unrelenting New York City nightlife. “Born Funny: A Comic’s Chronicle Through the Rise of Alt Comedy”, is a novel based on the author's stand-up comedy experience during the significant era that launched a generation of comedy talent. Featuring cameos from many well-known future comedy stars before they made it big, some names have been changed, including the author's.
Born in Secret (Firstborn Sons #4)
by Kylie Brant"I've courted danger all my life." --Walker James, international spyWalker James felt a rush of adrenaline when he was assigned to infiltrate a terrorist compound and discover the location of a deadly virus. However, the brazenly sexy spy was incensed to learn he would be partnered with Jasmine LeBarr on this perilous mission. Walker had had the misfortune of tangling with the bewitching Moroccan beauty once before, and her savvy one-upmanship had dented his fierce macho pride. Still, as they raced against time to safeguard the royal Kamal sheikdom from a diabolical scheme, he couldn't deny the aching, elemental needs Jasmine stirred in him. Now their electrifying attraction promised to either rekindle a once-in-a-lifetime love--or totally consume them both!
Born on a Rotten Day: Illuminating and Coping with the Dark Side of the Zodiac
by Hazel Dixon-CooperIn this wickedly funny guide, professional astrologer Hazel Dixon-Cooper casts off sugar-coated astrology in favor of exploring the maladjusted side of the universe. If you want the inside scoop, the real deal, the lowdown on each sun sign, then look no further.It's time to forget those traditional astrology books where Sagittarians are gregarious, Capricorns are ambitious, and Pisceans are dreamers. Instead, enter a world where Archers are loud-mouthed bores, Goats are pompous social climbers, and Fish are chronically helpless. Dixon-Cooper debunks the myths, reveals the flaws, and examines the dubious virtues of each sun sign. Discover how to use your own inner brat to outwit bullies, outmaneuver manipulators, and win those endless games that lovers play. Learn how to deal with those dysfunctional people you encounter every day, including how to: contain a Ram's oversized ego calm a raging Bull keep a fickle Twin faithfulIrreverent, biting, and laugh-out-loud funny, Born on a Rotten Day exaggerates the bad, exorcises the good, and puts a new spin on the age-old question -- what's your sign?
Born Standing Up: A Comic's Life (Thorndike Core Ser.)
by Steve MartinThe riveting, mega-bestselling, beloved and highly acclaimed memoir of a man, a vocation, and an era named one of the ten best nonfiction titles of the year by Time and Entertainment Weekly.In the mid-seventies, Steve Martin exploded onto the comedy scene. By 1978 he was the biggest concert draw in the history of stand-up. In 1981 he quit forever. This book is, in his own words, the story of “why I did stand-up and why I walked away.” Emmy and Grammy Award–winner, author of the acclaimed New York Times bestsellers Shopgirl and The Pleasure of My Company, and a regular contributor to The New Yorker, Martin has always been a writer. His memoir of his years in stand-up is candid, spectacularly amusing, and beautifully written. At age ten Martin started his career at Disneyland, selling guidebooks in the newly opened theme park. In the decade that followed, he worked in the Disney magic shop and the Bird Cage Theatre at Knott’s Berry Farm, performing his first magic/comedy act a dozen times a week. The story of these years, during which he practiced and honed his craft, is moving and revelatory. The dedication to excellence and innovation is formed at an astonishingly early age and never wavers or wanes. Martin illuminates the sacrifice, discipline, and originality that made him an icon and informs his work to this day. To be this good, to perform so frequently, was isolating and lonely. It took Martin decades to reconnect with his parents and sister, and he tells that story with great tenderness. Martin also paints a portrait of his times—the era of free love and protests against the war in Vietnam, the heady irreverence of The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour in the late sixties, and the transformative new voice of Saturday Night Live in the seventies. Throughout the text, Martin has placed photographs, many never seen before. Born Standing Up is a superb testament to the sheer tenacity, focus, and daring of one of the greatest and most iconoclastic comedians of all time.
Born to Be Awkward: Celebrating Those Imperfect Moments of Babyhood
by Mike Bender Doug ChernackFrom the folks who brought us the bestselling Awkward Family Photos series comes a tribute to those awkward early years of life. Our first few years are the most photographed time of our lives. Our parents document every milestone and then feel compelled to share these photos with the world. The only problem is, we haven't developed our motor skills and can't control our faces, or any other parts of our body for that matter. This, of course, leads to some of the most hilarious and unexpected family pictures. From our first post-delivery scowl, to our first throw-up, and yes, even to our first bikini--Born to Be Awkward is a celebration of what is literally the most uncomfortable stage of life.
Born to be Mild: Adventures for the Anxious
by Rob Temple'If you're looking to ease yourself back into normality after lockdown, Born to be Mild should be top of your reading list' Mail OnlineA funny, life-affirming memoir from the creator of social media empire Very British Problems, about how to start again when everything's gone wrong.By the time Rob Temple hit his thirties, he had become so afraid of the world that he couldn't leave the house. Depressed and anxious, he found himself drifting deeper into solitude.So Rob decided to make a plan - to embark on fifty 'mild' adventures, to be a little less Pooh Bear and a little more Bear Grylls. On a gentle journey that takes him beekeeping, bowling, and to a service station just off the M25, Rob starts to settle on a better balance - and soon discovers the joys of a life well lived.In this raw and honest memoir, Rob shares his year of gentle adventure and the lessons learnt along the way. Quiet and comforting, with a generous helping of British humour, Born to be Mild is a guide to living life unencumbered by mental illness, and a reminder to slow down and embrace your mild side.
Born to be Mild: Adventures for the Anxious
by Rob Temple'Temple is a humourist in the classic British mode ... he has a genuine comic gift' Daily Mail'A refreshingly unpolished memoir' - S Magazine'If you're looking to ease yourself back into normality after lockdown, Born to be Mild should be top of your reading list' - Mail Online'A handful of years ago, I moved with my wife to a house on a quiet street in a quiet town and lay quietly in a room for a long time.I used to love an adventure, but when I hit my thirties I started to become afraid of the world, until I was too frightened to even go outside at all . . . it was just me, my phone and my social media feeds. Doesn't sound too healthy, does it? It wasn't.'Rob Temple runs the social-media empire Very British Problems from the comfort of his own sofa, but what happens when the four walls of your living room become your world?Everything goes wrong.In this hilarious and life-affirming memoir, Rob sets out to reinvent himself as an intrepid traveller, a bee-keeper and yogi, all to become a little less Bear (Pooh) and a little more Bear (Grylls). Along the way there are good days and bad days, but with each failed adventure and small triumph, Rob discovers how the mild-mannered and anxious can still enjoy their own share of (gentle) adventure from time to time.
Born to be Riled
by Jeremy ClarksonBorn to be Riled is a collection of hilarious vintage journalism from Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy Clarkson, it has to said, sometimes finds the world a maddening place. And nowhere more so than from behind the wheel of a car, where you can see any number of people acting like lunatics while in control (or not) of a ton of metal.In this collection of classic columns, first published in 1999, Jeremy takes a look at the world through his windscreen, shakes his head at what he sees - and then puts the boot in. Among other things, he explains:• Why Surrey is worse than Wales• How crossing your legs in America can lead to arrest• The reason cable TV salesmen must be punched • That divorce can be blamed on the birth of JesusRaving politicians, pointless celebrities, ridiculous 'personalities' and the Germans all get it in the neck, together with the stupid, the daft and the ludicrous, in a tour de force of comic writing guaranteed to have Jeremy's postman wheezing under sackfuls of letters from the easily offended. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time OutNumber-one bestseller Jeremy Clarkson writes on cars, current affairs and anything else that annoys him in his sharp and funny collections. Clarkson On Cars, Don't Stop Me Now, Driven To Distraction, Round the Bend, Motorworld and I Know You Got Soul are also available as Penguin paperbacks; the Penguin App iClarkson: The Book of Cars can be downloaded on the App Store.Jeremy Clarkson because his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun and the Sunday Times. Today he is the tallest person working in British television, and is the presenter of the hugely popular Top Gear.
Born to Pun: 1,400 Boss Jokes, Funny Quips and Groan-Worthy Punchlines
by Gordon Hideaki NagaiA gloriously cringey collection of punny wordplay from the author of The Ultimate Book of Dad Jokes!• The pliers said to the wrench, “Get a grip. You're losing it!”• The marionette’s cardiologist warned him to change his lifestyle because he was too high-strung.• When the President’s family picnic was hit by a cold hard rain, the band struck up “Hail to The Chief.”• Q: How do vampires like their stakes? A: Rare.• Do dealers in Las Vegas casinos walk with a shuffle?• The young ear of corn was considered a rising star in the Marine Corps; he quickly rose to the rank of kernel.Make every day funny punny with this massive book of over 1,400 puns, arranged by category. Word nerds, class clowns, and dads everywhere never have to miss an opportunity to deliver a groan-inducing yet hilarious one-liner.
Born to Rock
by Gordon KormanLeo Caraway-high school senior, president of the Young Republicans club, 4.0 GPA, future Harvard student-had his entire future perfectly planned out. That was, until the X factor. As in Marion X. McMurphy, aka King Maggot, the lead singer of Purge, the most popular, most destructive band punk rock has ever seen. He's also Leo's biological father. When Leo discovers that his real father is a punk rock legend, he is disgusted. Not only is Leo not a punk rock fan, but he believes the X factor (the Maggot blood that is running through his veins) is a dangerous time bomb just waiting to explode. And sure enough it does-Leo stubbornly defends the unlikeliest of people, thereby getting himself falsely accused of cheating on a test. Because of the blemish on his record, the once star pupil finds his scholarship to Harvard taken away. So he hatches the crazy plan of going on tour with King Maggot for Purge's summer revival tour, all the while secretly hoping to convince Maggot to pay for his tuition. But life on the road is even crazier than Leo ever bargained for, and before the summer is out, he will finally discover the surprising truth about his dad, his friends, and most important, himself.
The Borowitz Report
by Andy BorowitzPrepare to be shocked. From the man The Wall Street Journal hailed as a "Swiftean satirist" comes the most shocking book ever written! The Borowitz Report: The Big Book of Shockers, by award-winning fake journalist Andy Borowitz, contains page after page of "news stories" too hot, too controversial, too -- yes, shocking -- for the mainstream press to handle. Sample the groundbreaking reporting from the news organization whose motto is "Give us thirty minutes -- we'll waste it."
Borre and the Monster under the Bed
by Saskia Bultman Jeroen Aalbers Stefan TijsThe big children at school have told Borre that there's a monster under his bed. Mum says this is nonsense. The big children are only trying to frighten him. But when Borre is in bed, he takes a look just in case. "Hello," whispers Borre, "is there a monster down there?" "No, there isn't," squeaks a frightened little voice. "I'm not here, leave me alone!" Could there be a monster down there after all?
Borre and the Penguin
by Saskia Bultman Jeroen Aalbers Stefan TijsBorre is in the living room drawing a picture. When he looks outside, he sees something waddling through the garden. A funny-looking bird in a long, black coat. That's got to be a penguin! "What are you doing here?" Borre asks the bird. "Ah, young man," the penguin says. "Perhaps you could help me. You see, I'm going to a party tonight, but I have a nasty stain on my coat." Borre knows what to do: he'll put the coat in mum's washing machine!
Borre and the Submarine
by Saskia Bultman Jeroen Aalbers Stefan TijsBorre has been playing in the muddy puddles all day and is covered in mud from head to toe. When he gets home, mum sends him upstairs to take a bath. He doesn't want to, but he has to do as he's told. When Borre is finally in the bath, Captain Jacques Crouton and his submarine suddenly come up out of the water. The Captain asks Borre if he would like to come for a ride with him. Borre would love to!
Borre Flies a Kite
by Saskia Bultman Jeroen Aalbers Stefan TijsBorre is about to try out his home-made kite with Fuzz Fuzz. He throws the kite up into the air and Fuzz Fuzz runs along as fast as he can with the string in his mouth. The kite soars higher and higher until it disappears in the clouds. Suddenly, Fuzz Fuzz shoots up into the air with the kite string in his mouth. Borre just manages to grab onto one of his back paws. But now they're both lifted off the ground and go zooming through the air into the clouds!
Borre is The Great Borrini
by Saskia Bultman Jeroen Aalbers Stefan TijsDad has given Borre an old top hat. It is one of those hats magicians use to pull rabbits out of.Borre can't wait to put on his own magic show where he can perform this trick himself. He disguises Fuzz Fuzz as a rabbit and has mum and dad sit down as his audience. But Fuzz Fuzz isn't the only thing that comes out of the hat...
Borre Learns to Swim
by Saskia Bultman Jeroen Aalbers Stefan TijsBorre goes to his first swimming lesson with dad. "It's very important that you learn to swim," dad says. At first, the swimming doesn't go very well. But after a while Borre starts to get the hang of it. "Good job, Borre!" dad cheers from the edge of the pool. But he is so enthusiastic that he slips and...
The Borrow a Boyfriend Club
by Page PowarsA heartwarming and hilarious YA rom-com about a trans boy who concocts the perfect plan to ensure his new school sees his true gender, by joining the secret 'Borrow a Boyfriend Club.' The first rule: don't fall in love. Perfect for fans of Only Mostly Devastated and Red White and Royal Blue.Need a prom date? Want to impress your friends? Or make your ex jealous? Just call ...THE BORROW A BOYFRIEND CLUBWhen sixteen-year-old Noah starts at a new school, he has a plan to ensure the students see him as his true gender: join the school's secretive Borrow a Boyfriend Club, where members rent themselves out to their classmates for dates. The endless "accidental slip-ups" that plagued him at his last school will be a thing of the past once he joins the club; after all, it has "boy" right in the title. But he fails the audition. Desperate, he strikes a deal with the club's prickly president, Asher: he'll help lead the nearly-bankrupt club to victory at the school's fundraising dance competition, and in exchange Asher will allow Noah to prove his skills as a boyfriend in a series of tests that include romancing Asher himself. As Noah passes test after test, his fake romance with Asher starts to feel surprisingly real, and Noah is faced with a dilemma. If he fails to win the dance fundraiser the club will go bankrupt, and he'll not only lose the new friends he's made - the whole school will know he isn't "boy enough". But if Noah succeeds in securing the club their victory, he'll have to follow the most important, unbreakable rule of the Borrow a Boyfriend Club: no real girlfriends (or boyfriends) allowed.Will Noah risk breaking the rules for a chance at love?
The Borrow a Boyfriend Club
by Page PowarsProve your skills as a boyfriend. Get them to see your true gender. Don't fall in love.When sixteen-year-old Noah starts fresh at a new school, he a plan to ensure the students see him as his true gender: join the school's secretive The Borrow a Boyfriend Club, where members rent themselves out to their classmates for dates. The endless "accidental slip-ups" that plagued him at his last school will be a thing of the past once he joins the club; after all, it has "boy" right in the title. But he fails the audition. Desperate, he strikes a deal with the club's prickly president, Asher: he'll help lead the nearly-bankrupt club to victory at the school's fundraising dance competition, and Asher will allow Noah to prove his skills as a boyfriend in a series of tests that include romancing Asher himself. As Noah passes test after test and his fake romance with Asher starts to feel surprisingly real, Noah is faced with a dilemma. If he fails to win the dance fundraiser the club will go bankrupt, and he'll not only lose the new friends he's made - the whole school will know he isn't "boy enough." But if Noah succeeds in securing the club their victory, he has to face the most important, unbreakable rule of the Borrow a Boyfriend Club: no real girlfriends (or boyfriends) allowed.Could Noah's relationship with Asher become something real? Noah must make a choice: keep the club afloat and his carefully guarded secret safe, or break the rules for a chance at love.© 2023 Page Powars (P)2023 Listening Library
The Borrowed Groom
by Judy ChristenberryIt was her smile that caused all the trouble. Yep, ranch foreman Rob Hansen was sure he never would have agreed to be Melissa Kennedy's counterfeit fiance if she hadn't given him one of her killer smiles. And now he found himself "engaged" to her, he was determined to keep as much distance as he possibly could from the lovely foster mom. He was no home-and-hearth kind of man. So Rob would resist her delicious meals, comforting arms...dimples...smiles...passionate embraces. Yeah. Right.
The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife: A Novel
by Anna JohnstonA zany case of mistaken identity allows a lonely old man one last chance to be part of a family in this warm, life-affirming debut novel.“A funny, heartfelt story about found family and seeing the silver lining in life. Fans of Fredrik Backman’s A Man Called Ove and Shelby Van Pelt’s Remarkably Bright Creatures will especially enjoy this new novel.”—Library Journal“Would you mind terribly, old boy, if I borrowed the rest of your life? I promise I’ll take excellent care of it.”Frederick Fife was born with an extra helping of kindness in his heart. If he borrowed your car, he’d return it washed with a full tank of gas. The problem is there’s nobody left in Fred’s life to borrow from. At eighty-two, he’s desperately lonely, broke, and on the brink of homelessness. But Fred’s luck changes when, in a bizarre case of mistaken identity, he takes the place of grumpy Bernard Greer at the local nursing home. Now he has warm meals in his belly and a roof over his head—as long as his poker face is in better shape than his prostate and that his look-alike never turns up. Denise Simms is stuck breathing the same disappointing air again and again. A middle-aged mom and caregiver at Bernard's facility, her crumbling marriage and daughter's health concerns are suffocating her joy for life. Wounded by her two-faced husband, she vows never to let a man deceive her again.As Fred walks in Bernard’s shoes, he leaves a trail of kindness behind him, fueling Denise's suspicions about his true identity. When unexpected truths are revealed, Fred and Denise rediscover their sense of purpose and learn how to return a broken life to mint condition. Bittersweet and remarkably perceptive, The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife is a hilarious, feel-good, clever novel about grief, forgiveness, redemption, and finding family.
The Boss Baby Family Business Junior Novelization (The Boss Baby Movie)
by Stacia DeutschEveryone&’s favorite baby executive returns to screens this summer in DreamWorks Boss Baby 2: Family Business! There&’s a new boss baby in the family in this hilarious novelization about grown-up Tim and Ted re-connecting with their inner children.Tim and his &“boss baby&” little brother, Ted, are now adults who have drifted apart. Tim is married and has two little girls, Tabitha and baby Tina. And, as it turns out, Tina is a &“boss baby!&” She&’s a top secret agent working for Baby Corp. and discovers an evil plot against parents at Tabitha&’s school. Stopping the nefarious plan will require reinforcements. Fortunately, she has a formula that turns adults back into children (and babies!). Can Tina convince her dad and Uncle Ted to help her save all the parents in the world? This sweet and hilarious movie reunites the Templeton brothers as they re-evaluate the meaning of family and discover what truly matters.
The Boss Baby Junior Novelization
by Tracey WestJoin everyone’s favorite boss for a hilarious adventure with this take-charge retelling of The Boss Baby! DreamWorks Animation’s highly anticipated movie The Boss Baby, based on the Simon & Schuster book by Marla Frazee, premieres in theaters on March 31, 2017!From the day the Boss Baby arrived in a taxi, life would never be the same for his older brother, Tim. Sure, the Boss Baby had Tim’s parents wrapped around his chubby, little finger, but Tim knew the truth…this was no ordinary baby. He held meetings! He could talk! And he was on a top-secret mission to stop Puppy Co. from coming out with the cutest puppy of all time and causing Baby Corp to go out of business! But the Boss Baby needs Tim’s help. And if the Boss Baby doesn’t succeed, he’ll be fired from Baby Corp and these two rival siblings will be forced to be brothers forever. Can Tim make a deal with the Boss Baby, stop Puppy Co., and get the Boss Baby out of his life for good? (And will the Boss Baby finally get the corner office with the private potty he deserves?) Find out in this retelling of the new movie! The Boss Baby © 2017 DreamWorks Animation LLC. All Rights Reserved.