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But Enough About You: Essays
by Christopher BuckleyChristopher Buckley at his best: an extraordinary, wide-ranging selection of essays both hilarious and poignant, irreverent and delightful.In his first book of essays since his 1997 bestseller, Wry Martinis, Buckley delivers a rare combination of big ideas and truly fun writing. Tackling subjects ranging from "How to Teach Your Four-Year-Old to Ski" to "A Short History of the Bug Zapper," and "The Art of Sacking" to literary friendships with Joseph Heller and Christopher Hitchens, he is at once a humorous storyteller, astute cultural critic, adventurous traveler, and irreverent historian. Reading these essays is the equivalent of being in the company of a tremendously witty and enlightening companion. Praised as "both deeply informed and deeply funny" by The Wall Street Journal, Buckley will have you laughing and reflecting in equal measure.
But I Wanted a Pony!: An Anne Taintor Motherhood Collection
by Anne TaintorThis collection of vintage-with-a-twist artwork offers a fresh serving of hilarious commentary on the joys, challenges, and cocktail hours of motherhood. From the fundamentals (WOW! I get to give birth AND change diapers!) to putting food on the table (you see them as pies . . . I see them as cries for help) to dealing with childhood questions (because I&’m the mother . . . that&’s why) and strategies for taking the edge off (now be a dear and fetch mommy her flask), Taintor expertly captures the funny, frantic, and honest thoughts that most moms have experienced, with an attitude mothers everywhere will welcome.
But I've Used All My Pocket Change (Charlie and Lola)
by Lauren ChildA sweet, funny lesson in economics as only Lola can teach it Lola has lots of pocket money and is very excited to buy a new toy in the gift shop on a trip to the zoo. But she spends a little here and there, and before she knows it, she doesn't have enough left for her toy. Big brother Charlie shares his money, but then isn't able to get the book he wanted. With her typical exuberance, when Lola finds this out, she begins saving everything: a tangerine from lunch, bread for the ducks at the pond, and most importantly, her pocket change. Finally, she is able to help out her big brother when he needs a few extra coins. With a focus on frugality, the latest in the award-winning series is a terrific helper for those just learning about money.
But Like Maybe Don't?: What Not to Do When Dating: An Illustrated Guide
by Arianna MargulisThe creator of the Instagram sensation But Like Maybe takes us on an illustrated journey through her worst dating mistakes—a hilarious, hopeful guide to what you need to get wrong in love before you get it right.Arianna Margulis&’s pen was set aflame when a boyfriend took her for a walk in Central Park. She was sneak-attack dumped because she &“interfered with his meditation schedule.&” After a few sobs, she found her way to a Sharpie, doodled the hilarity and the heartbreak, and But Like Maybe was born. As her cartoons became an Instagram cult hit, Arianna chronicled her misadventures through modern love via a crop-topped doppelganger, equal parts optimistic and anxious, who holds tight to the belief that bae is out there.Now, with 70 never-before-seen toons, her first book is a witty and winning primer on what not to do when dating. Inspired by all the ways Arianna&’s gone wrong in her search for love, from planning matching outfits with her high school boyfriend without his knowledge to deplaning an aircraft because her crush texted, this charming and off-kilter anti-guide gently leads you to what matters: realizing that you&’re already pretty awesome. With plenty of advice for recognizing and moving on when he&’s just not that into you, Arianna shows how to not let a read receipt ruin your night, what to do when the slow fade commences, and how to flip the busy script on a guy. Dating can make the best of us a bit crazy. Keep this guide by your side so that the next time tequila urges you to text your ex, you can instead tell yourself . . . but like maybe don&’t.
But You Like Really Dated?!: The Celebropedia of Hollywood Hookups
by Ryan CaseyEvery time a celebrity couple breaks up, an angel gets its wings...Admit it—but you're like really a pop-culture junkie, aren't you? And a junkie needs a fix. Am I right? Of course I am. Well, my friends, But You Like Really Dated?! is the perfect remedy. With more dirt than you can find under Lindsay Lohan's fingernails, and enough gossip to make even Joan Rivers blush, this exquisitely designed, epic tome is the ultimate guide to the stars who dated, dumped, hooked up, cheated on, married, divorced, married again, or made a sex tape in the wild world of Hollywood. If you have ever wondered just how many blonde models Leo has shown the town, or how many boy-toys have graced Britney's arm, But You Like Really Dated?! is the only book you'll ever need.Full of hilarious (and hilariously accurate) illustrations of the most notorious members of Hollywood's elite and brimming with sharp commentary about the strange mating habits of celebrities, But You Like Really Dated?! is the brainchild of Ryan Casey, creator of the award-winning webcomic ButYoureLikeReallyPretty.com.So put up your feet, pop open a bottle of your favorite spirits, and dive into the wild and wacky world of the celebrity dating game.
But You Seemed So Happy: A Marriage, in Pieces and Bits
by Kimberly HarringtonIn this tender, funny, and sharp memoir-in-essays, the author of Amateur Hour examines marriage, divorce, and the ways love, loss & longing shape a life.Six weeks after she and her husband announced their divorce, Kimberly Harrington began work on a book that she thought would be about divorce, full of dark humor and a not-small amount of annoyance. After all, on the heels of planning to dissolve a twenty-year marriage, they had chosen to still live together in the same house with their kids.Over the course of two years of what was supposed to be a temporary period of transition, she sifted through how she had formed her ideas about relationships, sex, marriage, and divorce. And she dug back into the history of her marriage—how she and her future ex-husband had met, what it felt like to be madly in love, how they changed, the impact that having children had on their relationship, and what they still owed each other.But You Seemed So Happy is an honest, intimate biography of a marriage, from its heady, idealistic, and easy beginnings to its slowly coming apart, and finally to its evolution into something completely unexpected. As she probes what it means when everyone assumes you’re happy as long as you’re still married, Harrington skewers the casual way we make life-altering decisions when we’re young. Ultimately, this moving and funny memoir-in-essays is an irreverent act of forgiveness—of ourselves, our partners, and the relationships that have run their course but will always hold a permanent place in our lives.“An honest, tender, and often hilarious book on the end of a modern marriage. No matter your relationship status, But You Seemed So Happy begs the question, What are we all doing here? I laughed, I cried, I found myself in the pages over and over again.” —Kate Baer, New York Times–bestselling author of What Kind of Woman: Poems“Intimate and raw yet meticulously scrubbed of the slightest tinge of self-pity, Harrington explores the pain and intricacies of a marriage and its dissolution with a ruthless, unflinching honest and gallows humor that makes you feel like you buried a body with her.” —Emily Flake, cartoonist for The New Yorker
Butcher and Blackbird
by Brynne WeaverThe viral friends to lovers dark romantic comedy full of murder, chaos and sizzling chemistry.Every serial killer needs a friend. Every game must have a winner. When a chance encounter sparks an unlikely bond between rival murderers Sloane and Rowan, the two find something elusive - the friendship of two like-minded, pitch-black souls who just happen to enjoy killing other serial killers. Stalking across the country, the two hunters collide in an annual game of blood and suffering, one that pits them against the most dangerous monsters in the country. But as their friendship develops into something deeper, the restless ghosts left in their wake are only a few steps behind, ready to claim more than just their new-found romance.Can Rowan and Sloane dig themselves out of a game of graves? Or have they finally met their match?
Butt Blast: Butt Blast (Yucky, Disgustingly Gross, Icky Short St #3)
by Susan BerranJust when you thought it was safe . . . out comes Book 3 in this super-gross, icky, and totally disgusting series! Here comes even more yucky, disgusting, and icky topics in Butt Blast! This book features hilarious stories that ponder those big questions in life. For example, how can your butt smell when it doesn’t have a nose? Is it possible to make candles from earwax? And what on earth are “Hair Fairies”?! Full of yucky, gross, and totally bootilicious encounters, this book will have kids rolling around with laughter and parents shaking with dread! The Yucky, Disgustingly Gross, Icky Short Stories series is designed for fast laughs to kick-start even the toughest non-readers. Targeted to ages 7 to 11, these gross, absolutely hilarious tales will leave kids grimacing for more. There's definitely more than enough snot & vomit in this sordid series.
Butt Wars!: The Final Conflict (Andy Griffiths' Butt Series)
by Andy GriffithsIn the thrilling conclusion to the epic Butt Trilogy, a boy and his butt fight stinky scoundrels determined to wipe away Earth.Zack Freeman (and his butt) have twice saved the world from total reek-dom. But now the young butt-fighter faces his nastiest challenge yet: Hundreds of thousands of Great White Butts attacking the earth with giant brown blobs are about to cause Buttageddon. In order to stop them, Zack will have to hitch a ride in a time-traveling buttmobile, back to the reign of the prehistoric buttosaurs. Can Zack battle the Tyrannnsore-arses, juggle a giant arseteroid, and put the butts-gone-bad back in their place? Or will the entire world be abutterated?
Buttercup the Bigfoot
by Douglas ReesA fiercely funny picture book from author Douglas Rees and illustrator Isabel Muñoz about the fantastic friendship between a little girl and a creature out of legend.When Willa Cathcart Wilmerding, the bravest girl in the world, is told she must stop her nightly tradition of howling at the moon, she decides to run away. High in the mountains, she meets Buttercup the Bigfoot, a friend unlike any other!Willa and Buttercup do everything together. They leap up and down the mountains, soar over mighty crevasses, and make each other crowns of flowers—but their favorite thing to do is climb a high peak and HOWL at the moon.This playful story of friendship, freedom, and ferocity will have picture book readers eager for a Bigfoot friend of their very own.
Butterflies Are Pretty ... Gross! (Nature's Top Secrets)
by Rosemary MoscoWarning -- this book contains top-secret information about butterflies! Prepare to be shocked and grossed out by this hilarious and totally true picture book introduction to a fascinating insect.Butterflies are beautiful and quiet and gentle and sparkly . . . but that's not the whole truth. Butterflies can be GROSS. And one butterfly in particular is here to let everyone know! Talking directly to the reader, a monarch butterfly reveals how its kind is so much more than what we think. Did you know some butterflies enjoy feasting on dead animals, rotten fruit, tears and even poop? Some butterflies are loud, like the Cracker butterfly. Some are stinky -- the smell scares predators away. Butterflies can be sneaky, like the ones who pretend to be ants to get free babysitting. This hilarious and refreshing book with silly and sweet illustrations explores the science of butterflies and shows that these insects are not the stereotypically cutesy critters we often think they are -- they are fascinating, disgusting, complicated and amazing creatures.
Butterfly Brain
by Barry CryerBarry Cryer is one of the great comedians of the last 50 years. This is a sparkling series of hilarious and true anecdotes, almost all of which have never been told before!Barry Cryer has collaborated with all the greats from Max Miller to Tony Hancock, Bob Hope, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, John Cleese, Frankie Howerd, Kenny Everett, Spike Milligan, Eric Sykes, Dave Allen, Richard Pryor, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Graham Chapman, the Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise - in fact almost all the great comedians and comic writers since the mid 1950s. Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller.In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.
Butterfly Brain
by Barry CryerBarry Cryer is one of the great comedians of the last 50 years. This is a sparkling series of hilarious and true anecdotes, almost all of which have never been told before!Barry Cryer has collaborated with all the greats from Max Miller to Tony Hancock, Bob Hope, Peter Cook and Dudley Moore, John Cleese, Frankie Howerd, Kenny Everett, Spike Milligan, Eric Sykes, Dave Allen, Richard Pryor, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Graham Chapman, the Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise - in fact almost all the great comedians and comic writers since the mid 1950s. Barry's set of experiences with these legends of humour is unique, and will delight all who made PIGS CAN FLY a runaway porcine bestseller.In this completely new, organically grown book, old Baz recalls, reminisces, recounts and other words beginning with 'R', on a trip down Memory Lane, pausing only for tea and macaroons at the Stannah Stairlift Cafe. What memories - if only he can remember them. Currently 74, a third of his life has already passed and he invites you to enjoy this wonderfully funny account of it, a decorous orgy of nostalgia.
Buttheads from Outer Space
by Jerry MahoneyThe buttheads have landed—and they're trying to wipe us out!My best friend Lloyd and I had the perfect plan. We started a blog to invite aliens to come to Earth and hang out—but only with us. That way, they wouldn't have to meet any boring world leaders or get cut open by scientists or anything like that. We'd just chill out, eat junk food, and play video games together. Sweet, right? And it worked! Two aliens showed up one night in the bathroom of my favorite restaurant, and we snuck them home to my room. The problem is, they're total buttheads! Literally. They have butts on their heads, and they talk in farts. They're rude, disgusting, and they love Earth so much, they just invited 70 billion of their friends to join them here. Oops. Now it's up to us—two sixth graders with B-pluses in science—to save the planet from the sickest extraterrestrials in the universe. (Preferably without my parents finding out.) Sorry, everyone. Better get used to talking out of your butts, because we're all probably doomed…
Button Up!
by Alice Schertle Petra MathersDid you actually think shoes, jackets, and hats didn't have personalitites? Think again! The outfits in this book are brought to vivid life by Alice Schertle's wry poetry and Petra Mathers's exuberant cast of young animal characters. From Joshua's cozy jammies to Emily's frilly undies, the duds on display in this perfectly stitched poetry collection are as unique as the critters who wear them.
Butts Are Everywhere
by Jonathan StutzmanA triumphant celebration of the tushee.Big ones, little ones, round ones and flat ones, furry ones and prickly ones--butts are everywhere, and each one is special! These powerful muscles make it possible for people and animals to jump, sit, and everything in between. The gluteus really is the maximus! This funny, sweet, and commercial picture book celebrates one of our most useful (and hilarious) body parts, and is sure to become a favorite read-aloud for children and parents alike.
Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, from Someone Who's Been There
by Tara SchusterBrutally honest, often hilarious, hard-won lessons in learning to love and care for yourself from a young vice president at Comedy Central who was called &“ahead of her time&” by Jordan Peele &“Compelling, persuasive, and useful no matter where you are in your life.&”—Chelsea Handler, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Life Will Be the Death of Me &“A bracingly honest, funny read . . . like Wild meets You Are a Badass.&”—Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take, Originals, and Option BBy the time she was in her late twenties, Tara Schuster was a rising TV executive who had worked for The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and helped launch Key & Peele to viral superstardom. By all appearances, she had mastered being a grown-up. But beneath that veneer of success, she was a chronically anxious, self-medicating mess. No one knew that her road to adulthood had been paved with depression, anxiety, and shame, owing in large part to her minimally parented upbringing. She realized she&’d hit rock bottom when she drunk-dialed her therapist pleading for help. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara&’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a &“ninja of self-love.&” Through simple, daily rituals, Tara transformed her mind, body, and relationships, and shows how to • fake gratitude until you actually feel gratitude • excavate your emotional wounds and heal them with kindness • identify your self-limiting beliefs, kick them to the curb, and start living a life you choose • silence your inner frenemy and shield yourself from self-criticism • carve out time each morning to start your day empowered, inspired, and ready to rule • create a life you truly, totally f*cking LOVE This is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it&’s-so-cheesy way.
Buying His Bride of Convenience: Claimed For The Leonelli Legacy Buying His Bride Of Convenience The Tycoon's Marriage Deal His Majesty's Temporary Bride (Bound to a Billionaire)
by Michelle SmartDaniele Pellegrini must wed or lose his family inheritance. Eva Bergen is the perfect candidate for three reasons:1. Her body is pure temptation.2. She can’t reject his outrageous charitable donation in exchange for their vows.3. Most important, she can’t stand him—this hard-hearted tycoon won’t risk his wife falling in love with him!When Eva’s first youthful marriage ended in tragedy, she buried any hope of loving again. She’s certain she’ll have no problem keeping her second marriage on purely convenient terms…until her husband changes the rules with his expertly ruthless seduction!
Buzz Aldrin, What Happened to You in All the Confusion?
by Johan Harstad Deborah DawkinBuzz Aldrin, What Happened to You in All the Confusion? opens with the line: "The person you love is 72.8% water, and it hasn't rained for weeks." From there, Brage Award-winning author and playwright Johan Harstad's debut--previously published to great success in eleven countries and now making its first English-language appearance--tells the story of Mattias, a thirty-something gardener living in Stavanger, Norway, whose idol is Buzz Aldrin, second man on the moon: the man who was willing to stand in Neil Armstrong's shadow in order to work, diligently and humbly, for the success of the Apollo 11 mission. Following a series of personal and professional disasters, Mattias finds himself lying on a rain-soaked road in the desolate, treeless Faroe Islands, population only a few thousand, a wad of bills in his pocket and no memory of how he had come to be there--that's when a truck approaches him, driven by a troubled, fantastic man with an offer that will shortly change Mattias's life. And so, surrounded by a vivid and memorable cast of characters--aspiring pop musicians, Caribbean-obsessed psychologists, death-haunted photographers, girls who dream of anonymous men falling in love with them on bus trips, and even Buzz Aldrin himself--launches Buzz Aldrin, What Happened To You In All The Confusion?, the epic story of Mattias's pop-saturated odyssey through the world of unconventional psychiatry, souvenir sheep-making, the Cardigans, and space: the space between himself and other people, a journey maybe as remote and personally dangerous as the trip to the moon itself.
Buzz Beamer's Radical Olympics
by Bill HindsBuzz Beamer, complete with dark shades and a flattop, offers his wacky suggestions for variations on the events at the summer Olympics.
Buzz Boy and Fly Guy (Fly Guy #9)
by Tedd ArnoldAn amazing superhero story featuring Buzz Boy and Fly Guy!The excitement is jam-packed in Fly Guy's newest episode, which features a comic book style within the story.Buzz and Fly Guy are superheroes! The dynamic duo must battle a fiery dragon and a band of pirates. Will Fly Guy and Buzz Boy defeat their enemies and save their home? Find out in this amazzzing new Fly Guy adventure!Using hyperbole, puns, slapstick, and silly drawings, Tedd Arnold delivers an easy reader that is full of fun in his NEW YORK TIMES bestselling Fly Guy series.
Buzz Club
by Xena KnoxA brilliantly bold, funny and spicy YA novel about female empowerment and finding your buzz. Perfect for fans of Sex Education and the Barbie film.The first rule of Buzz Club: do NOT talk about Buzz ClubWhen Tavi's boyfriend dumps her, days before her seventeenth birthday, friends Ella and Liss gift her the perfect post-breakup present: a vibrator.Tavi is mortified, but Ella is inspired. It's time for the girls to take matters into their own hands and start Buzz Club, an exclusive club for discussing everything from porn to the patriarchy. Soon the girls are finding their own buzz and figuring out their boundaries, but with Tavi still pining after her ex, Ella shutting out her boyfriend, and Liss's secret crush, one heavenly climax is coming - especially when one of the girls breaks the club's number one rule . . .
Buzz Club
by Xena KnoxA brilliantly bold, funny and spicy YA novel about female empowerment and finding your buzz. Perfect for fans of Sex Education and the Barbie film.The first rule of Buzz Club: do NOT talk about Buzz ClubWhen Tavi's boyfriend dumps her, days before her seventeenth birthday, friends Ella and Liss gift her the perfect post-breakup present: a vibrator.Tavi is mortified (especially when she opens it in front of her parents!), but Ella is inspired. It's time for the girls to take matters into their own hands and start Buzz Club; an exclusive club for discussing everything from porn to the patriarchy.Soon the girls are finding their own buzz and figuring out their boundaries, but with Tavi still pining after her ex, Ella shutting out her boyfriend and Liss secretly crushing on another club member, one hell of a climax is coming - especially when one of the girls breaks the club's number one rule ...
Buzz Club
by Xena KnoxA brilliantly bold, funny and spicy YA novel about female empowerment and finding your buzz. Perfect for fans of Sex Education and the Barbie film.The first rule of Buzz Club: do NOT talk about Buzz ClubWhen Tavi's boyfriend dumps her, days before her seventeenth birthday, friends Ella and Liss gift her the perfect post-breakup present: a vibrator.Tavi is mortified, but Ella is inspired. It's time for the girls to take matters into their own hands and start Buzz Club, an exclusive club for discussing everything from porn to the patriarchy. Soon the girls are finding their own buzz and figuring out their boundaries, but with Tavi still pining after her ex, Ella shutting out her boyfriend, and Liss's secret crush, one heavenly climax is coming - especially when one of the girls breaks the club's number one rule . . .
Buzz Kill
by Beth FantaskeyPutting the dead in deadline To Bee or not to Bee? When the widely disliked Honeywell Stingers football coach is found murdered, 17-year-old Millie is determined to investigate. She is chasing a lead for the school newspaper—and looking to clear her father, the assistant coach, and prime suspect.Millie's partner is gorgeous, smart—and keeping secrets Millie joins forces with her mysterious classmate Chase who seems to want to help her even while covering up secrets of his own.She&’s starting to get a reputation . . . without any of the benefits. Drama—and bodies—pile up around Millie and she chases clues, snuggles Baxter the so-ugly-he&’s-adorable bassett hound, and storms out of the world&’s most awkward school dance/memorial mash-up. At least she gets to eat a lot of pie.Best-selling author Beth Fantaskey&’s funny, fast-paced blend of Clueless and Nancy Drew is a suspenseful page-turner that is the best time a reader can have with buried weapons, chicken clocks, and a boy who only watches gloomy movies . . . but somehow makes Millie smile. Bee-lieve it.