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Censorship Now!!
by Ian F. Svenonius"While putting a copy of this book on your nightstand would be a sign of good taste, who cares about good taste? Are you willing to be seen reading a book titled Censorship Now!! in public? If so, your skin might burn with funny glances from squares, scolds and looky-loos. But on the inside, you'll feel your brain throbbing as it swells to accommodate some hilarious, absurd and radical new strategies on how to live in our ridiculous world."--Washington Post"Svenonius' new book is Censorship Now!!, and the title alone shows just how provocative the author can be. A collection of essays previously published by Vice, Jacobin, and others, it sets up numerous enemies--both real and straw--for Svenonius to knock down....It's all couched in a style that's part anarchist tirade, part postmodern critique, and part punk-rock snottiness--yet it's addictively ridiculous."--NPR"Censor it all. Film, TV, music, politics, books, news, art--censor all of it. That's the guiding principle of local radical punk Ian Svenonius' latest essay collection, Censorship Now!!"--Washington City Paper, Critics' PickNamed a Favorite Book of 2015 by Jason Diamond at Vol. 1 Brooklyn"Gonzo ecstasy for those who have come to know Svenonius's self-aware political meditations....And though the essays Svenonius writes are not themselves unclear, the process of talking about what he's written involves discussions that some might find uncomfortable. His books make more sense the more you dissect them. So keep them in your back pocket and read them, one word at a time."--Los Angeles Review of Books"A new collection of essays by everyone's favorite supercilious rock theorist...Svenonius has always been the smartest kid in the room....In print, Svenonius is like that curmudgeonly pal that you adore because, even while his insight quivers between humor, paranoia, and antisocial ire, he never dispels your fascination in how he gets there."--SF Weekly"Ian Svenonius is best known as the frontman of bands like the Make-Up and Nation of Ulysses, but he's also a brilliant cultural critic with a talent for coming up with the hottest takes you'll ever read. In this collection, Svenonius makes compelling arguments in favor of censorship and hoarding books and records, amid polemics against Apple and Ikea, the yuppification of indie rock, and the shaving of pubic hair."--Buzzfeed"The essays in Censorship Now!! are equally packed with modest proposals and mock-revolutionary rhetoric, but there are grains of truth in pieces like 'The Historic Role Of Sugar In Empire Building' and 'Heathers Revisited: The Nerd's Fight For Niceness'--they're just buried somewhere between tongue and cheek."--The A.V. Club"Censorship Now!! simultaneously deals in the heated rhetoric of insurgent calls to action, the seductive broad strokes of propaganda, and the clever winking of surrealist humor. Often when I'm really convinced Svenonius has gone off a paranoid deep end, the next sentence hits back with knowingly-hilarious exaggeration or profoundly spot-on analysis, realigning my perspective and making me wonder again....It's fitting that a book whose intentions are ambiguous begins with a call to censor art and ends by letting art do the talking."--PitchforkIan F. Svenonius's new collection of sixteen essays and stories, entitled Censorship Now!!, is reorganizing people's ideas about censorship, Ikea, documentary filmmaking, the Berlin Wall, the film Heathers, the twist, the frug, the mashed potato, shaving one's body, Apple, Inc., Nordic functionalism, the supposed benevolence of the Wikipedia, hoarding, college rock, the origins of the Internet, and more. It's an underground smash which has been met with a horrified gasp in all respectable quarters and gog-eyed enthusiasm in artist garrets the world over.
Center Center: A Funny, Sexy, Sad Almost-Memoir of a Boy in Ballet
by James Whiteside&“James Whiteside is an electrifying performer, an incredible athlete, and an artist, through and through. To know James is to love him; with Center Center, you are about to fall in love.&” —Jennifer Garner &“A frank examination and celebration of queerness.&”—Good Morning America A daring, joyous, and inspiring memoir-in-essays from the American Ballet Theatre principal dancer-slash-drag queen-slash-pop star who's redefining what it means to be a man in balletThere's a mark on every stage around the world that signifies the center of its depth and width, called "center center." James Whiteside has dreamed of standing on that very mark as a principal dancer with the prestigious American Ballet Theatre ever since he was a twelve-year-old blown away by watching the company's spring gala. The GLAMOUR. The VIRTUOSITY. The RIPPED MEN IN TIGHTS! In this absurd and absurdist collection of essays, Whiteside tells us the story of how he got to be a primo ballerino—stopping along the way to muse about the tragically fated childhood pets who taught him how to feel, reminisce on ill-advised partying at summer dance camps, and imagine fantastical run-ins with Jesus on Grindr. Also in these pages are tales of the two alter egos he created to subvert the strict classical rigor of ballet: JbDubs, an out-and-proud pop musician, and Ühu Betch, an over-the-top drag queen named after Yoohoo chocolate milk. Center Center is an exuberant behind-the-scenes tour of Whiteside&’s triple life, both on- and offstage—a raunchy, curious, and unapologetic celebration of queerness, self-expression, friendship, sex, creativity, and pushing boundaries that will entertain you, shock you*, inspire you, embolden you . . . and maybe even make you cry.*THIS IS NOT A BOOK FOR CHILDREN.
Central Park Ghost (Squirlish #3)
by Ellen PotterCordelia and Isaac set out to solve a monstrous mystery at the Central Park Zoo in this exciting third installment of the &“sweet and silly&” (Booklist) Squirlish series perfect for fans of Sophie Mouse and Critter Club!Cordelia is a human girl raised by squirrels in Central Park and well-known among the park&’s other critters. When she gets an urgent message summoning her to the Central Park Zoo, Cordelia learns from the sea lions that a monster has been roaming the park grounds—something the size of a bear with glowing eyes! With the help of her best friend, Isaac, Cordelia sets out to trap this mystery creature. They follow a string of questionable leads taking them to a dog park, a parade, and even an encounter with the New York Yankees! But can they find the Central Park Ghost?
Centrally Heated Knickers
by Michael RosenHail! Hail!I come from anothergalaxy.Discover the wierd and wonderful world of martians, woolly saucepans and centrally heated knickers in 100 poems about science and technology from the delightfully irreverent, Michael Rosen, Children's Laureate 2007 - 2009.
The CEO
by Owen Burke Duff McdonaldYou're the boss.... Now make an executive decision. You are the CEO of Fleece Industries. So far, you've made all the right choices. The result: Your life's work -- building a company from an idea scrawled on a bar napkin into a clothing empire -- has reached a major milestone. Fleece is going to have an initial public offering and become a publicly traded company on the New York Stock Exchange. The instant the opening bell rings, you'll be worth tens, if not hundreds, of millions. It's a dream come true. Unfortunately that's when things get complicated. Now come the really hard choices. What would you do if You discovered that a rogue employee had been cooking the books? Your mistress threatened to expose your affair to your wife? You found yourself at the center of an insider-trading scandal? Your daughter turned up in a sex tape on the Internet? You found yourself considering the worst choice of all: MURDER? Step up to the plate. What would you do if you were The CEO?
The CEO of the Sofa
by P. J. O'RourkeExperience a year in the life of a cranky couch potato—also known as &“the funniest writer in America&” (The Wall Street Journal). Touching on topics from technological change to the United Nations, this is a chronicle of the day-to-day home life and frequent harangues of a New York Times–bestselling humorist. Over the course of the year, in between rants, he does occasionally leave the sofa and embark on exotic adventures—including a blind (drunk) wine tasting with Christopher Buckley, and a Motel 6 where he has twenty-eight channels and a bathroom to himself. As readers of Parliament of Whores, Give War a Chance, and his other bestsellers know, P. J. O&’Rourke takes no prisoners—though he may take a few naps. &“An entertaining and engaging read.&” —Associated Press &“A wide-angled worldview from his own living room, his salon of sarcasm. He introduces readers to his assistant, friends, family and smart-aleck babysitter . . . His vitriolic wit is couched in humor that elicits the gamut from giggles to guffaws.&” —Publishers Weekly
The CEO's Accidental Bride
by Barbara DunlopThere was no way multimillionaire Zach Harper would split his inheritance with a stranger. Even if she was his wife. What had supposedly been a prank Vegas wedding to Kaitlin Saville was very real. And now, according to his late grandmother's will, Zach's future was tied to Kaitlin...forever.The CEO truly believed he could buy off his bride with a few million and a signed divorce decree. However, Kaitlin didn't want money. She wanted an opportunity only Zach could provide. So he offered her a job, vowing never to consummate their marriage. But some vows were meant to be broken....
A Certain Appeal
by Vanessa KingA sparkling contemporary retelling of Pride and Prejudice set in the tantalizing world of New York City burlesque, perfect for fans of The Kiss Quotient and The Roommate.After a betrayal derailed her interior design career, Liz Bennet found a fresh start in New York. Now an executive assistant by day and stage kitten by night, she&’s discovered a second home with the performers at Meryton, Manhattan&’s top-tier burlesque venue. Love&’s the last thing on her mind when she locks eyes with Will Darcy across the crowded club, yet the spark between them is undeniable—that is, until she overhears the uptight wealth manager call her merely &“tolerable.&” Bennet is determined to write Darcy off, but once their besties fall head-over-heels, they&’re thrown into each other&’s orbit again and again. Each encounter begins to feel more heated than the last, but is their chemistry enough to topple that terrible first impression? What&’s more, when a charming newcomer arrives on the scene with accusations against Darcy, and a sudden development leaves Meryton&’s fate in jeopardy, Bennet will have to decide who to trust in time to salvage her design dreams, her heart, and the stage she shares with her found family…
A Certain Chemistry: A Novel
by Mil MillingtonIs this love or just oxytocin? The brilliant second novel by the bestselling author of Things my Girlfriend and I Have Argued AboutTom Cartwright is a ghost-writer: eking out a living in Edinburgh, he is always ready to assumethe persona of a struggling working mother-of-four, or a round-the-world yachtsman, or a 'sensual' aromatherapist - indeed anyone his agent asks him to be, so long as it brings in money. When he is offered the highly lucrative task of ghosting the autobiography of glamorous young soap star Georgina Nye, he and his girlfriend Sara are thrilled: Sara is a big fan of George's and Tom will finally be able to afford some new carpets for their house.But soon things go awry when Tom finds himself drawn to George by forces outside his control (even though they are inside his own body). Does his relationship with Sara stand a chance in the face of this explosion of chemistry? Is this love or just oxytocin - and is there a difference?
A Certain Chemistry: A Novel
by Mil MillingtonIs this love or just oxytocin? The brilliant second novel by the bestselling author of Things my Girlfriend and I Have Argued AboutTom Cartwright is a ghost-writer: eking out a living in Edinburgh, he is always ready to assumethe persona of a struggling working mother-of-four, or a round-the-world yachtsman, or a 'sensual' aromatherapist - indeed anyone his agent asks him to be, so long as it brings in money. When he is offered the highly lucrative task of ghosting the autobiography of glamorous young soap star Georgina Nye, he and his girlfriend Sara are thrilled: Sara is a big fan of George's and Tom will finally be able to afford some new carpets for their house.But soon things go awry when Tom finds himself drawn to George by forces outside his control (even though they are inside his own body). Does his relationship with Sara stand a chance in the face of this explosion of chemistry? Is this love or just oxytocin - and is there a difference?
A Certain Chemistry: A Novel
by Mil MillingtonBrooding, self-loathing Tom Cartwright is a modestly successful ghostwriter whose ability to spell correctly and meet his deadlines has landed him the job of writing the autobiography of the wildly popular soap-opera star Georgina Nye. His imbibing, chain-smoking agent is swooning, and his offbeat, sweetly supportive live-in girlfriend of five years, Sara, is ecstatic—new carpets! Yet even as he feverishly pens (read: mostly makes up) Georgina’s “straight-from-the-heart” life story (he’s thinking maybe a thoughtful, feminist angle), he is lusting for Georgina herself. Soon Tom—poor, misguided, painfully careening Tom—thinks he can have it all: a woman at home who loves him, and a hot, panting affair with a television diva. With a little planning, can it really be so hard?In this clever, rollicking tale of sexual misadventures and the modern man, Mil Millington hilariously explores the sometimes foolish choices mere mortals can make when that certain chemistry forces us to think not with our heads or our hearts but with . . . well, things that usually lead us straight into serious trouble.
A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi: The Ideal Guide to Sounding, Acting and Shrugging Like the French
by Charles TimoneyVocabulary alone isn't enough. To survive in the most sophisticated - and the most scathing - nation on Earth you will need to understand the many peculiarities of the (very peculiar) French culture. And for that you need A Certain Je Ne Sais Quoi.If you want to fit in with the French you'll have to know how to deal with sardonic waiters; why French children hate Charlemagne; the etiquette of kissing, joke-telling and drinking songs, what to do with a bidet, the correct recipe for a salade nicoise and, of course, how to convey absolute, shattering indifference with a single syllable (Bof!).Charles Timoney, the author of Pardon My French, provides a practical, pleasurable guide to the charms of the Gallic people - from their daily routines to their peerless gesticulations, from their come-ons to their put-downs. Read on and put the oh la la back into your French vacances. Your inner gaul will thank you for it.
Certitude
by Adam BegleyThis collection lampoons dignitaries and celebrities from Arthur Conan Doyle to George W. Bush--all of whom were completely convinced of their infallibility, yet were proven disastrously, unforgettably wrong. Illustrations throughout.
C'est la Vie: Adventures of an English Grump in Rural France
by Ian MooreFollow the misadventures of Ian Moore as he chronicles the charming and chaotic escapades of his family and their eccentric assembly of animals, on their continued search for serenity in rural France. With stresses, strains and animal poo mounting up, la famille Moore have their work cut out - but they're determined to give it their best shot!
C'est Modnifique!: Adventures of an English Grump in Rural France
by Ian MooreAfter six years in the idyllic Loire Valley, comedian Ian Moore, his family and his growing menagerie feel like they’re on the cusp of the peace they hoped for. Their grand project, a writing school, is complete – only, nobody’s signed up. The Moores have their work cut out – but they’re determined to give it their best shot!
C'est Modnifique!: Adventures of an English Grump in Rural France
by Ian MooreAfter six years in the idyllic Loire Valley, comedian Ian Moore, his family and his growing menagerie feel like they’re on the cusp of the peace they hoped for. Their grand project, a writing school, is complete – only, nobody’s signed up. The Moores have their work cut out – but they’re determined to give it their best shot!
Chadwick's Epic Revenge
by Lisa Doan Natalie AndrewsonThe victim of endless pranks turns the tables on his nemesis—Chadwick Musselman decides it’s time to get revenge in this hilarious school story.Chadwick Musselman has spent years being terrorized by Terry Vance, aka the Nile Crocodile. His luck changes when it appears that Terry has flunked the fifth grade—Chadwick will swagger into sixth grade as a ruler of the school without him. Sadly, Terry has no intention of ending his reign of terror, and Chadwick decides to turn the tables and finally get revenge! In Chadwick's Epic Revenge by Lisa Doan, a battle of wits, pranks, misunderstandings, and embarrassing moments abound in this quirky and uproarious novel.
The Chai Factor: A Novel
by Farah HeronAmira Khan has no plans to break her no-dating rule.Thirty-year-old engineer Amira Khan has set one rule for herself: no dating until her grad-school thesis is done. Nothing can distract her from completing a paper that is so good her boss will give her the promotion she deserves when she returns to work in the city. Amira leaves campus early, planning to work in the quiet basement apartment of her family’s house. But she arrives home to find that her grandmother has rented the basement to . . . a barbershop quartet. Seriously? The living situation is awkward: Amira needs silence; the quartet needs to rehearse for a competition; and Duncan, the small-town baritone with the flannel shirts, is driving her up the wall.As Amira and Duncan clash, she is surprised to feel a simmering attraction for him. How can she be interested in someone who doesn’t get her, or her family’s culture? This is not a complication she needs when her future is at stake. But when intolerance rears its ugly head and people who are close to Amira get hurt, she learns that there is more to Duncan than meets the eye. Now she must decide what she is willing to fight for. In the end, it may be that this small-town singer is the only person who sees her at all.
A Chain Across the Dawn (The Universe After #2)
by Drew WilliamsDrew Williams continues the Universe After series with A Chain Across the Dawn, an epic space opera chase across the galaxy with witty banter, fantastical planets, and a seemingly unbeatable foe."The only thing more fun than a bonkers space battle is a whole book packed with bonkers space battles. Come for the exploding spaceships, stay for the intriguing universe."—Becky Chambers, on The Stars Now UnclaimedIt’s been three years since Esa left her backwater planet to join the ranks of the Justified. Together, she and fellow agent Jane Kamali have been traveling across the known universe, searching for children who share Esa’s supernatural gifts.On a visit to a particularly remote planet, they learn that they’re not the only ones searching for gifted children. They find themselves on the tail of a mysterious being with impossible powers who will stop at nothing to get his hands on the very children that Esa and Jane are trying to save. With their latest recruit in tow—a young Wulf boy named Sho—Esa and Jane must track their strange foe across the galaxy in search of answers. But the more they learn, the clearer it becomes—their enemy may be harder to defeat than they ever could have imagined.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
The Chairman's Toys
by Graham Reed"Jake, whose philosophy is 'life is often less about making good decisions than figuring out how to live with bad ones,' takes the reader on a fast, furious, and often hilarious tour. Watching him zigzag through the twisting plot is pure pleasure." —Publishers WeeklyVancouver, British Columbia—land of psychotically expensive real estate, high-grade cannabis, and Jake Constable. A man adrift.After Jake quits the drug business, his realtor/ex-wife, Nina, gets him a job as a housesitter for her wealthy clients. Jake celebrates by throwing a party in the mansion he was hired to look after. Unfortunately, the guest list gets out of hand, leaving Jake to contend with a hallucinogenic-vitamin-dispensing yogi, a dead guy in the bathroom, and The Norwegian—a criminal force of nature with a grudge against Jake.When the owner of the multimillion dollar crime-scene returns home prematurely, only Jake's inadvertent discovery of the man's business history in Mao Tse Thong underwear saves him from having to clean up after the party. But he still has to come clean with his ex-wife. The situation threatens to become an international incident when Nina's powerbroker uncle and two secret agents from China show up to turn the screws on Jake. Soon after that his friends start disappearing. With the Chinese government leaning on him and The Norwegian out to settle an old score, Jake comes up with a desperate plan to dupe a pair of secret agents, fund the uncle's secret venture, save his friends, and (why not?) solve the murder.
Challenging Dante (A Bride for a Billionaire #4)
by Lynne GrahamAn Italian billionaire doesn’t trust his mother’s new secretary in this contemporary romance by a USA Today–bestselling author.Unimpressed by his mother’s new companion, shrewd Italian billionaire Dante Leonetti is determined to oust the cuckoo from his castle. After all, what could this beautiful, intelligent young woman want with his family other than a slice of their fortune?Topaz Marshall’s search for her father brought her into Dante’s world and now she’s experiencing Leonetti’s ferocious reputation firsthand. Knowing Dante thinks she’s a gold digger, she is shocked when he turns on his legendary charm. Dante is determined to seduce the truth from her lips and Topaz must do everything in her power to resist.
The Challenging Riddle Book for Kids: Fun Brain-Busters for Ages 9–12
by Danielle HallWhat's challenging, fun, and sure to give your brain a workout this holiday season? This riddle book for kids ages 9-12!Riddle me this—can you solve these super hard word puzzles? You sure can! Featuring nearly 200 brain benders, this riddle book for kids ages 9-12 is the ultimate option for clever children who love thinking outside the box.This big riddle book for kids ages 9-12 will test the limits of your imagination. Start things off with handy tips and simple warm-up riddles that will help you twist your thinking and get creative. What's the difference between a bird and a fly? Tie your brain in knots and find out inside!Boost your brainpower with this riddle book for kids ages 9-12:Tons of tough riddles—Build your problem-solving abilities and stretch your creative thinking skills as you unravel all kinds of perplexing puzzles.Learn about history's biggest puzzlers—Try your hand at some of the world's most famous riddles, like the Riddle of the Sphinx or Bilbo's riddle from The Hobbit, while also learning fun facts about their history.Easy to use—Tips, hints, and an organized answer key in the back of this riddle book for kids ages 9-12 make it easy to get solving with your friends and family anytime.Overcome the mind-blowing mysteries inside the very best riddle book for kids ages 9-12!
Chambermaid: A Novel
by Saira RaoAn honorable, aspiring attorney&’s dream job becomes a dishonorable nightmare in this &“funny and charming&” debut (Gary Shteyngart, author of Lake Success). Sheila Raj is a recent graduate of Columbia Law School with high aspirations of working for the ACLU. When she lands a coveted year-long federal clerkship with legal goddess Judge Helga Friedman, she cannot help but think that her life is destined for jurisprudential greatness. But law school did not prepare Sheila for the sociopath who greets her on her first day, and pushes her to the brink of resignation. It&’s only when she&’s assigned to a high-profile death penalty case that Sheila realizes that to survive the year as Friedman&’s chambermaid—not just her sanity, but actual lives will hang in the balance. Because Prada be damned, &“the devil really wears a black robe&” (Jill Kargman, author of Momzillas). &“In the world of the federal judiciary, where judges are sacrosanct and impervious to criticism, Saira Rao&’s deliciously controversial debut novel ranks with mooning the Supreme Court&” (The Philadelphia Inquirer). Delivering an outrageous peek into hallowed halls, the &“laugh out loud . . . Chambermaid is sure to strike a familiar chord for anyone who&’s ever had a jerk for a boss&” (Pittsburgh Post-Gazette).
Chameleon Chaos (S.W.I.T.C.H. #10)
by Ali SparkesPetty Potts, scientist extraordinaire, is losing her touch. The S.W.I.T.C.H. spray that's supposed to turn Josh and Danny into chameleons refuses to work. But the next day at school, the twins suddenly find themselves transformed. Looks like Petty's spray has worked after all! But it shows no sign of wearing off any time soon...
The Chameleon that Saved Noah's Ark
by Yael MolchadskyIt&’s mealtime on the ark! Striking folk-art-style paintings illustrate this charming tale about the purpose of every creature and the harmony of nature. Noah and his family work hard to keep all the animals on the ark happy and well-fed. They find just the right food for every creature—except for the two chameleons. These picky eaters won&’t eat anything! Noah is worried! What will tempt these two? It is not until the ark&’s food supply is suddenly threatened, that Noah gets a surprising answer—and discovers that even the SMALLEST creatures have a BIG role to play in nature!