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A Fall for Friendship (An Orchard Novel #3)
by Natalie Andrewson Megan AtwoodOlive doesn’t believe in ghosts, but something weird is definitely going on at the orchard and she wants to get to the bottom of it in this third novel of a sweet series about the bonds of friendship.Olive, Peter, Sarah, and Lizzie are getting ready for Halloween. This year, they’re planning a zombie hayride and a haunted barn party. As they set up, Lizzie’s older sister, Gloria tells them that a ghost haunts the very barn they’re decorating. According to Gloria, the ghost is angry and desperate for revenge. Lizzie, Sarah, and Peter are fascinated, but Olive doesn’t believe any of it. Not even when strange, ghostly things keep happening all around them. Olive sets out to prove that ghosts don’t exist and that Gloria and her friends are behind it all. But the more Olive investigates, the scarier things become. Could Gloria be telling the truth? Is the orchard really haunted?
A False Sense of Well Being
by Jeanne Braselton“I was married eleven years before I started imagining how different life could be if my husband were dead. . . . ” At thirty-eight, Jessie Maddox subscribes toHouse Beautiful,Southern Living, evenPsychology Today. She has a comfortable life in Glenville, Georgia, with Turner, the most reliable, responsible husband in the world. But after the storybook romance, “happily ever after” never came. Now the housewife who once wanted to be Martha Stewart before therewasa Martha Stewart is left to wonder: Where did the marriage go wrong? Why can’t she stop picturing herself as the perfect grieving widow? As Jessie dives headlong into her midlife crisis, she is aided and abetted by a colorful cast of characters in the true Southern tradition: her best friend and next door neighbor Donna, who is having a wild adulterous affair with a younger man; Wanda McNab, the sweater-knitting, cookie-baking grandmother who is charged with killing her abusive husband. Then there’s Jessie’s eccentric family. Her younger sister Ellen, born to be a guest onJerrySpringer, has taken her seven-year-old son and squawking pet birds and left her husband “for good this time” . . . while their mother crosses the dirty words out of library books and alerts everyone to the wonderful bargains at Winn-Dixie, often at the same time. And then there’s the stuffed green headless duck . . . When a trip home to the small town of her childhood raises more questions than it answers, Jessie is forced to face the startling truth head-on–and confront the tragedy that has shadowed her heart and shaken her faith in love . . . and the future. From a brilliant new voice in fiction, here is a darkly comic novel full of revelation and insight. The danger of secrets and the power of confession . . . The pull of family, no matter how crazy. . . The fate of wedlock when one can’t find the key . . . Jeanne Braselton weaves these potent themes into a funny, poignant, utterly engaging story of a woman at the crossroads–and the unforgettable journey she must take to get back home.
A Family Affair
by Nadine BismuthA wry, savvy novel of untidy modern relationships, A Family Affair confirms award-winning author Nadine Bismuth’s place as a remarkable chronicler of contemporary middle-class mores in the manner of Jonathan Franzen, John Irving, and Lorrie Moore. Award-winning novelist and screenwriter for film and television Nadine Bismuth has returned with an unsparing portrait of twenty-first century life. In A Family Affair, love is the first casualty and deceit — towards others, towards oneself — the norm.Kitchen designer Magalie is being cheated upon and so cheats in turn, in the office and with a divorced police officer who has hired her. Her partner, Mathieu, has no idea how to be, and the police officer Guillaume no idea what he wants. So begins a story of messy relationships wrested against the odds from the detritus of failed marriages, the demands of professional lives, and the pull of the internet and its false messages of perfection. With an assiduous eye that is both clinical and sympathetic, Bismuth’s elegant and highly readable novel captures the alienating nature of contemporary life and sheds light on this, our strange new world full of unrequited yearning in a sea of seeming plenty.
A Family's Dream (Step into Reading)
by Kathy McCulloughThis Step 3 Step into Reading leveled reader is based on Disney and Pixar's Elemental—coming to theaters on June 16, 2023!In a city where Fire, Water, Earth, and Air reside together, a fiery young woman and a go-with-the-flow guy are about to discover something elemental: how much they have in common. Girls and boys ages 5 to 7 will love this Step 3 Step into Reading leveled reader, based on Disney and Pixar's Elemental—coming to theaters on June 16, 2023!Step 3 readers feature engaging characters in easy-to-follow plots about popular topics. For children who are ready to read on their own.
A Far Cry From Kensington
by Muriel Spark'Mercurially funny, playful and mischievous' Ali Smith'I was in heaven reading this book. I think she writes like an angel . . . just blissful' Stephen FryA novel of 'pure delight' (Claire Tomalin) by the author of The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.When Mrs Hawkins tells Hector Bartlett he 'urinates frightful prose', little does she realise the repercussions. Holding that 'no life can be carried on satisfactorily unless people are honest' Mrs Hawkins refuses to retract her judgement, and as a consequence, loses not one, but two much-sought-after jobs in publishing. Now, years older, successful, and happily a far cry from Kensington, she looks back over the dark days that followed, in which she was embroiled in a mystery involving anonymous letters, quack remedies, blackmail and suicide.With an introduction by Ali Smith.'Wonderfully entertaining.' Sunday Telegraph'An outstanding novel ... A Far Cry From Kensington has an effortless, translucent grasp of the spirit of the period.' Observer
A Far Cry From Kensington (Virago Modern Classics #27)
by Muriel Spark'Mercurially funny, playful and mischievous' Ali Smith'I was in heaven reading this book. I think she writes like an angel . . . just blissful' Stephen FryA novel of 'pure delight' (Claire Tomalin) by the author of The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie.When Mrs Hawkins tells Hector Bartlett he 'urinates frightful prose', little does she realise the repercussions. Holding that 'no life can be carried on satisfactorily unless people are honest' Mrs Hawkins refuses to retract her judgement, and as a consequence, loses not one, but two much-sought-after jobs in publishing. Now, years older, successful, and happily a far cry from Kensington, she looks back over the dark days that followed, in which she was embroiled in a mystery involving anonymous letters, quack remedies, blackmail and suicide.With an introduction by Ali Smith.'Wonderfully entertaining.' Sunday Telegraph'An outstanding novel ... A Far Cry From Kensington has an effortless, translucent grasp of the spirit of the period.' Observer
A Farewell to Arfs: A Chet & Bernie Mystery (A Chet & Bernie Mystery #15)
by Spencer QuinnChet the dog, "the most lovable narrator in all of crime fiction" (Boston Globe) and his human partner PI Bernie Little are on to a new case, and this time they're entangled in a web of crime unlike anything they've ever seen before.Their elderly next door neighbor, Mr. Parsons, thought he was doing the right thing by loaning his ne'er do well son, Billy, some money to help get himself settled. But soon, Mr. Parsons discovers that his entire life savings is gone. A run-of-the-mill scam? Bernie isn’t so sure that the case is that simple, but it's Chet who senses what they're really up against.Only Billy knows the truth, but he's disappeared. Can Chet and Bernie track him down before it's too late? Someone else is also in the hunt, an enemy with a mysterious, cutting-edge power who will test Chet and Bernie to their limit—or maybe beyond. Even poker, not the kind of game they're good at, plays a role.Spencer Quinn's A Farewell to Arfs ups the ante in the action-packed and witty New York Times and USA Today bestselling series that Stephen King calls "without a doubt the most original mystery series currently available."At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
A Farewell to Charms (Mystic Bayou #8)
by Molly HarperQueen of paranormal romantic comedy Molly Harper delivers love and laughter in this magnificent series finale!Eva Boudreaux keeps the truth about her life before arriving in Mystic Bayou a carefully guarded secret, flying under the radar as a talented boat mechanic. In the swampy little town filled with powerful supernatural beings, Eva never expected to strike up a charged flirtation with one of the Bayou’s human residents.Alex Lancaster is far too polished for Eva’s taste - not to mention the danger that comes with his high-ranking position in the League, which could expose her secrets. Trouble is, she can’t resist his disarming sense of humor or the chemistry that crackles to life whenever he’s near. Will Alex be able to handle a woman like her? Or will her difficult past keep them apart?Either way, they’ll need to join forces to solve one final mystery in Mystic Bayou. The fate of the town – and their hearts – depends upon it.
A Fate Worse Than Dragons
by John MooreThere’s only one thing scarier than slaying a giant, fire-breathing dragon…slaying the wrong giant, fire-breathing dragon.Sir Terry knows that as a valiant (but solidly middle-class) knight he doesn’t have a chance of winning the beauteous Princess Gloria’s hand in marriage… unless he kills the dragon on the far edge of the kingdom and claims her as his reward.But Prince Charming never had to contend with re-zoning. After Terry defeats the dragon, he discovers he has slain the scourge of the kingdom next door. He’s still won a princess. Unfortunately, she’s nicknamed “Crazy Jane” for her habit of talking to dead animals.Luckily for Terry, Princess Gloria wants to give him another chance, and she arranges for him to save her from a fake kidnapping. Rescuing a damsel who’s not actually in distress ought to be easy, but events soon take a dangerous turn. No matter what, Terry must save Gloria. Because everyone knows that getting stuck with the wrong girl is truly a fate worse than dragons…
A Father Before Christmas: Bless Me, Father; A Father Before Christmas; Father In A Fix; Bless Me Again, Father; And Father Under Fire (Bless Me, Father #2)
by Neil BoydFrom the series that inspired the hit London Weekend Television sitcom Bless Me, Father: At St. Jude&’s, silent nights are rare indeed The holiday season is among the most hectic times at St. Jude&’s, and this one is no exception. As always, Father Neil has his hands full with the gleefully domineering, scheming Father Duddleswell, who has devised a fresh plan for this coming Christmas: invite all the other sects of Christianity to celebrate with them. The plan quickly unravels when two religious leaders from another denomination try to convert Father Neil and a clock goes missing from the mantelpiece. When the church collection disappears, it becomes abundantly clear that this will be no ordinary Christmas. Taken from the author&’s actual experiences after completing seminary, A Father Before Christmas is a fun and family-friendly romp through a bygone era with a winning cast of characters you will want to visit again and again. Boyd&’s well-crafted vignettes of the Christmas season make this a holiday present worth opening early.
A Father's Kisses: A Novel
by Bruce Jay FriedmanA ridiculously funny novel about a devoted single dad who becomes an international hit man from the author of A Mother's Kisses After losing his job as a poultry distributor, William Binny spends his mornings at the local diner polishing off a cheap breakfast and perusing the local paper. A widower with an 11-year-old daughter who could pass for 14, Binny has plenty of reasons to worry about the future. Salvation soon walks through the diner doors, however, in the form of a redheaded Englishman named Valentine Peabody. Peabody makes an unlikely proposition: He will pay Binny thousands of dollars to kill the enemies of his mysterious billionaire boss. The victims are bad men guilty of myriad crimes, but does Binny have what it takes to commit murder? For the sake of his daughter's future, he is willing to find out. When his first few assignments do not go as planned, however, Binny starts to wonder if there is more to his new job than meets the eye. The shocking truth that he eventually uncovers brings this rollicking thrill ride to a conclusion so dramatic, hilarious, tender, and absurd it could only have been imagined by author Bruce Jay Friedman. This ebook features an illustrated biography of Bruce Jay Friedman including rare photos from the author's personal collection.
A Father's Love
by Cheryl WolvertonCONGRATULATIONS...IT'S TWINS!The morning Max Stevenson found twin babies on his doorstep, he knew life was about to change.... The millionaire bachelor could barely fasten a diaper, but pledged to care for the children until a true home was found.Then Kaitland Summerville arrived as the new nanny-and Max whispered a silent prayer. Why had the good Lord turned his world upside down? His former fiancée looked more beautiful than ever. Yet her betrayal remained a painful memory. But could this hectic household finally teach Max the true meaning of forgiveness and unconditional love?Welcome to Love Inspired™-stories about life, faith and love that will lift your spirits and gladden your heart. Meet men and women facing the challenges of today's world and learning important lessons about life, faith and love.
A Father's Words: A Novel (Phoenix Fiction Ser.)
by Richard SternA tale of the battles between a father and son by an author whose novels are &“robustly intelligent, very funny, and beguilingly humane&” (Philip Roth). Cy Riemer is the patriarch of a successful and loving Chicago family. But not all is copacetic in Cy&’s world. The scientific newsletter he publishes is foundering financially, his ex-wife still relies on him for money and intimacy, and he can never seem to find the time or the wherewithal to relax. Much of Cy&’s stress is caused by the trouble he has with his brilliant and duplicitous son, Jack. With a mixture of humor, grief, and astonishment, Cy becomes our tour guide to the Riemer family&’s museum of triumphs and tragedies. A comic and clear-eyed portrait of the quintessential worried father and the son who lives to torture him, A Father&’s Words is packed with Richard Stern&’s trademark wit, compassion, and insight.
A Father, Again
by Mary J. ForbesTHE GUY NEXT DOORJon Tucker was doing just fine living by his lonesome, steering clear of pets and people. Until his neighbor’s cat gave birth to kittens on his favorite shirt. But after returning the new family to its rightful owner, Jon was finding it hard to stay away from Rianne Worth. In fact, ignoring the alluringly petite mother of two would be downright unneighborly.The sexy guy in faded jeans who charged onto her land was no stranger to Rianne. Beneath the ex-cop’s gruff manner was the same boy who’d awakened the sweetest yearning in her schoolgirl heart. Now the single father was back in Misty River...and Rianne knew that this time, her very adult feelings might prove impossible to resist....
A Festival of Ghosts
by Kelly Murphy William AlexanderNational Book Award winner William Alexander conjures up a spooky adventure full of excitement in this entertaining sequel to A Properly Unhaunted Place.Rosa Ramona Diaz, the ghost appeasing assistant librarian, has unleashed all the ghosts who were previously shut out of the small town of Ingot. Now ghosts are everywhere, and the town’s living residents are either learning to cope or trying to do the one thing no one can successfully do—banish the ghosts. At school, something supernatural is stealing kids’ voices and leaving them speechless. And it’s Rosa’s job to solve the mystery and set things right. Meanwhile her best friend Jasper is dealing with what remains of the Renaissance Festival, where ghosts from Ingot’s past are now battling it out with the ghosts of the Renaissance reenactors. And Rosa is experiencing a haunting of her own—could her father’s ghost have followed her here? Somehow Rosa and Jasper are going to have to find a way to bring Ingot back to normal—in a world where the living are now residing side-by-side with the dearly departed.
A Few Things You Should Know About the Weasel
by David StarkeyDavid Starkey's A Few Things You Should Know About the Weasel is a far-ranging and fearless collection, of great humour, intelligence and sympathy. Ranging through philosophy, art and history -- both global and domestic -- these poems skillfully chronicle the darkness that is our current age and condition, and the pinpricks of light thta may show us the way out.
A Few Well-Frozen Worms
by Ronnie BarkerWith a fondness for spoonerisms and double entendres, Ronnie Barker is one of the nation’s greatest comics. Gathered together in this second ‘best of’ volume is a cocktail of his sketches and monologues from every strand of his long and brilliant career.
A Field Guide To Little-Known And Seldom-Seen Birds Of North America
by Cathryn Sill Ben SillA hilarious, feather-brained field guide parody—the perfect gift for your favorite birder! From the award-winning team of Cathryn, John, and Ben Sill."The funniest field guide you'll ever buy." ―BirdWatching Daily"Aficionados will find themselves squawking with laughter at the ingenuity and mock-seriousness of this engaging volume by three avid birders." ―Publishers WeeklyBirders and just about anyone who likes birds will delight in this satirical field guide from award-winning author and illustrator team Cathryn, John, and Ben Sill.Thirty-two fabulous fictitious species (Military Warbler? Great-toed Clapboard Pecker, anyone?) are depicted in this witty volume, which features tongue-in-cheek descriptions, observation hints, and range maps, as well as John Sill's remarkable full-color illustrations. A must-have for any bird watcher!Also available:Another Field Guide to Little-Known and Seldom-Seen Birds of North America
A Field Guide to Evangelicals & Their Habitat
by Joel KilpatrickThey're Going to Heaven . . . and They Know ItAt last, a complete, unsparing guide to evangelical Christians. This hilarious and highly useful manual, written by an insider, illuminates this rapidly growing and unique segment of America and offers a thoroughly entertaining, no-holds-barred, laugh-out-loud survey of evangelical culture. See inside for the scoop on:What Evangelicals Believe -- Plus a Master List of Who Is Going to HellHow to Party Like an Evangelical -- Ambrosia, Li'l Smokies, and Potluck FeverThe Diversity of Evangelical Politics -- From Right-Wing to WackoEvangelical Mating Habits -- The Shocking Truth
A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends: Meme-Worthy Celebrity Crushes from A to Z
by Esther ZuckermanFrom Keanu Reeves and Idris Elba to Timothe Chalamet, A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends is the ultimate celebration of the suave, sexy, sensitive, and silly celebrities who have captured our hearts and memes!Handsome and heartfelt, with winning smiles and pinnable Tweets -- this is what Internet Boyfriends are made of. But who are these meme-able men, and what makes them catch fire online? Discover the answers to these questions and more in A Field Guide to Internet Boyfriends, an interactive exploration of our collective crushes. Entertainment journalist Esther Zuckerman breaks down the world of Internet Boyfriends -- and even a few Internet Girlfriends -- from documentary-style "spotting guides" to discussions on the key categories of boyfriend, like Sensitive Souls, Beautiful Boys and Daddys. A playful, teen magazine-style quiz -- to help readers find their ideal crush -- and in-depth profiles of some of the most beloved Internet Boyfriends and Girlfriends, from Ryan Gosling (the original) to Harry Styles (the Gen Z icon) to Janelle Monae (the space queen), round out this fully-illustrated romp through the celebs behind the memes.
A Field Guide to Left-Wing Wackos
by Kfir Alfia Alan LiptonHere's everything you need to know about Anarchists, Peace Moms, Granolas, and many other types of left-wing wackos...so you can annoy them before they annoy you! Dreadlocks. Megaphones. The stench of patchouli oil and bad ideas. Who are these ridiculous characters clogging our streets and college campuses, protesting everything from "American imperialism" to genetically modified food to tax cuts? And how can an articulate, employed, sane person like yourself glean entertainment value from their antics? Kfir Alfia and Alan Lipton, the founders of ProtestWarrior, America's leading antiactivist organization, have spent years studying the eighteen distinct species of leftist protesters in our midst-everyone from Blacktivists to Hacktivists to Islamothugs. And in this hilarious guide, they will teach you: How to easily differentiate among similar species like Communists, Anarchists, and College Students. How to recognize the subtleties of the Performance Artist versus the Dylan Wannabe and the Acid Freak versus the Granola. How to confront, tease and taunt these wackos with witty comebacks, demolishing zingers, and infuriating facts. (Here's one: "War never solved anything ... except for slavery, fascism, Nazism and communism!") A Field Guide to Left Wing Wackos is the manual you want at your fingertips to defend yourself and the American Way-and have some fun while you're at it.
A Field Guide to Reality
by Joanna Kavenna'Smart, strange, coping with death through Light' Margaret Atwood'Extraordinary, wise, funny, adventurous' A. L. Kennedy'So utterly startling and inventive, it's almost an act of resistance' Miriam Toews'I couldn't put it down. A cult following seems certain' Literary Review'Refreshing as well as disconcerting to read a novel that sets aside convention so resolutely' Guardian'Opts to push the boundaries of what the novel is' Telegraph'A comic metaphysical thriller' Scotland on Sunday In this darkly ironic novel - a quest for truth, a satire, an elegy - Joanna Kavenna displays fearless originality and wit in confronting the strangeness of reality and how we contend with the death of those we love. Beautiful, ethereal drawings by Oly Ralfe illustrate this haunting journey through time, space and human understanding.
A Field Guide to the English Clergy: A Compendium of Diverse Eccentrics, Pirates, Prelates and Adventurers; All Anglican, Some Even Practising
by The Revd Butler-GallieA Book of the Year for The Times, Mail on Sunday and BBC History Magazine Judge not, lest ye be judged. This timeless wisdom has guided the Anglican Church for hundreds of years, fostering a certain tolerance of eccentricity among its members. Good thing, too. The &‘Mermaid of Morwenstow&’ excommunicated a cat for mousing on a Sunday. When he was late for a service, Bishop Lancelot Fleming commandeered a Navy helicopter. &‘Mad Jack&’ swapped his surplice for a leopard skin and insisted on being carried around in a coffin. And then there was the man who, like Noah&’s evil twin, tried to eat one of each of God&’s creatures… In spite of all this they saw the church as their true calling. After all, who cares if you're wearing red high heels when there are souls to be saved?
A Field Guide to the Jewish People: Who They Are, Where They Come From, What to Feed Them…and Much More. Maybe Too Much More
by Dave Barry Adam Mansbach Alan ZweibelA hilarious handbook from three big-deal award-winning humorists: “I laughed til I plotzed. Did I use that correctly?” —W. Kamau Bell, goyish comedianImmerse yourself in the essence of Jewish humor and culture with A Field Guide to the Jewish People, brought to you by New York Times–bestselling Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry, #1 New York Times–bestselling author Adam Mansbach, and Emmy and Thurber Prize–winning SNL alum Alan Zweibel.Join them as they dissect every holiday, rite of passage, and tradition, unravel a long and complicated history, and tackle the tough questions that have plagued Jews and non-Jews alike for centuries.Combining the sweetness of an apricot rugelach with the wisdom of a matzoh ball, this is the last book on Judaism that you will ever need. So gather up your chosen ones, open a bottle of Manischewitz, and get ready to enjoy some “bona fide gems” from the authors of For This We Left Egypt? (New York Journal of Books).“No topic is off-limits.” —Kirkus Reviews“Literally has a laugh-out-loud moment on every page, sometimes more than one.” —Bookreporter
A Fiend in Need: Book 2
by Jamie ThomsonDirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best.Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime.And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.