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Christmas Sucks: What to Do When Fruitcake, Family, and Finding the Perfect Gift Make You Miserable
by Joanne KimesThese days, Christmas lights adorn front porches before the Thanksgiving turkey is even in the oven. Plane tickets to visit hardly-missed relatives cost more than the suitcase full of presents people have to lug across the country. And radios everywhere play songs about that fat guy in a red suit on an endless loop. Yes, it’s official: Christmas Sucks. This title is a humorous look at America’s commercialization of the Christmas holiday season and the terrible travel, inordinate amount of preparation, and family strife that accompanies it. You can commiserate with the fact that everyone drives themselves into debt buying gifts, no one enjoys seeing long-lost relatives, and everyone is creeped out by the department store Santa. With twelve days of Christmas, there’s plenty of reasons why this is far from the most wonderful time of the year.
Christmas Sucks: What to Do When Fruitcake, Family, and Finding the Perfect Gift Make You Miserable
by Joanne KimesChristmas lights adorn front porches before the Thanksgiving turkey is in the oven. Plane tickets to visit hardly-missed relatives cost more than the presents you have to lug along. It's official: Christmas Sucks. With this humorous look at America's commercialization of the Christmas holiday you can commiserate with the fact that everyone drives themselves into debt buying gifts, no one enjoys seeing long-lost relatives, and everyone is creeped out by the department store Santa!
The Christmas Surprise
by Jenny ColganFrom the New York Times bestselling author of Little Beach Street Bakery and The Bookshop on the Corner comes a delightful holiday tale full of sweetness, love, heartbreak, and happiness--perfect for fans of Debbie Macomber and Elin Hilderbrand.Rosie Hopkins, newly engaged, is looking forward to an exciting year in the little English sweetshop she owns. But when fate deals Rosie and her boyfriend Stephen a terrible blow, threatening everything they hold dear, it's going to take all their strength and the support of their families and their friends to hold them together. After all, don't they say it takes a village to raise a child?
Christmas Sweater Weather
by Jaqueline SnoweChristmas is both naughty and nice this year when a single dad and his best friend&’s sister celebrate with some secret (steamy) romance and festive fun, perfect for fans of Maggie Knox and Lyssa Kay Adams. Charlotte Calhoun has avoided Hayden Porter, her older brother&’s sexy-as-sin best friend, ever since that mortifying night when he flat-out rejected her. Fine. Except this Christmas season, they&’re thrown together at a snowy ski resort for her brother&’s bachelor party, complete with mistletoe, cozy fireplaces, and adjoining rooms. She can tell herself to get over Hayden, but holiday cheer is turning to holiday lust every time he is within ten feet of her. Between being a full-time single father and his high-pressure college coaching job, a romantic relationship is off the table for Hayden. But he&’s fought his attraction to Charlotte for as long as he can. A one-night stand is starting to sound like a good idea—as long as her brother never finds out. But with two long weeks until the wedding, hiding their growing feelings is going to take a Christmas miracle.
Christmas Tales
by William McInnesI can't help it if I'm a boring conservative dag, but I love Christmas, always have and hopefully always will. Whatever brand of faith you fly under, even if you proclaim you don't have one, Christmas is a time of generosity, good citizenship and decency.It's the holiday where shopping centres become a sea of dazed shoppers bearing checklists as long as your arm, lunch is a neverending buffet of prawns and ham and your electricity bill is doubly struck by having to run the fan all day and keep those decorative lights blinking through the night.William McInnes, bestselling author of FATHERHOOD, WORSE THINGS HAPPEN AT SEA, and A MAN'S GOT TO HAVE A HOBBY tackles the silly season in a way only he can - telling stories brimming with good humour and nostalgia, to remind us what Christmas is all about: family.
The Christmas Toy Factory: The Christmas Toy Factory (Geronimo Stilton #27)
by Geronimo StiltonEnter the world of Geronimo Stilton, where another funny adventure is always right around the corner. Each book is a fast-paced adventure with lively art and a unique format kids 7-10 will love.<P> Ho, ho, ho! I love Christmas in New Mouse City. But this year, Grandfather William wanted me to research a new story. He asked me to dress up like Santa Claus and let lots of little mouselets sit on my lap. Cheese niblets! If only I had my own team of reindeer and could fly far, far away. . . .<P> <i>Advisory: Bookshare has learned that this book offers only partial accessibility. We have kept it in the collection because it is useful for some of our members. To explore further access options with us, please contact us through the Book Quality link on the right sidebar. Benetech is actively working on projects to improve accessibility issues such as these. </i>
Christmas Toys (Step into Reading)
by Jennifer Liberts WeinbergHave a very merry Christmas with Buzz, Woody, and the rest of the toys from Disney/Pixar Toy Story! This Step 2 Step into Reading makes the perfect stocking stuffer for kids ages 4-6 who are just learning to read on their own.
The Christmas Tree (Pineville #2)
by Allyson CharlesDECORATING WITH THE GRINCH It was one little fender bender. Sadie was only in picturesque Pineville, Michigan, for a day, trying to handle the ramshackle house her grandmother left her and juggle the sale of her failing design business at the same time. Her debtors don't care that it's almost Christmas. But then neither does the big bad contractor whose truck got squashed. Colt McCoy might be the least festive person she's ever met. He's gruff, rude, and way too upset about a minor accident. Of course, he is nice to look at, with dimples hiding in his scruffy beard and a body like a lumberjack's. And Sadie will have plenty of time to enjoy the view, since their community service sentence has put the two of them in charge of Pineville's jinxed Christmas tree. But as their squabbles over ornaments turn to laughter, anyone can see Colt and Sadie have something electric. The hard part is guessing if they'll light each other up--or just keep blowing the fuse . . .
The Christmas Wager
by Holly CassidyFrom a bestselling Canadian author comes a delightful enemies-to-lovers holiday rom-com set in the quaint town of Maple Falls, about a city girl and a small-town boy who compete in the town&’s annual holiday games in order to win the right price for a Christmas shop, perfect for fans of The Hating Game and One Day in December.One rivalry. Eight days until Christmas. Let the holiday games begin.When LA-based real estate developer Bella Ross arrives in the sleepy, mountain town of Maple Falls, she has one mission: to acquire the local failing Christmas shop, Always Noelle, securing the promotion of her dreams. Nothing can get in her way. Except the shop owner&’s stubborn grandson, Jesse Harrison.Both refuse to budge, until an unlikely wager is struck: Bella and Jesse will compete in the Maple Falls Holiday Games, an annual tradition of eccentric feats of strength and skills. Winner decides the selling price. They&’ll give each other a run for their money, but as the competition heats up, Bella and Jesse&’s icy feelings toward each other begin to thaw. It&’ll take a Christmas miracle for them to admit there&’s a spark, but what if it&’s just another game?
The Christmas Wager
by Holly CassidyA delightful enemies-to-lovers holiday rom com set in the quaint mountain town of Maple Falls, Colorado, about a city girl and a small-town boy who compete in the town&’s annual holiday games in order to win the right price for a charming, local Christmas shop, perfect for fans of The Hating Game and The Twelve Dates of Christmas.One rivalry. Eight days until Christmas. Let the holiday games begin.When L.A.-based real estate developer Bella Ross arrives in the sleepy mountain town of Maple Falls, she has one mission: to acquire the local failing Christmas shop, Always Noelle, securing the promotion of her dreams. Nothing can get in her way. Except the shop owner&’s stubborn grandson, Jesse Harrison.Both refuse to budge, until an unlikely wager is struck: Bella and Jesse will compete in the Maple Falls Holiday Games, an annual tradition of eccentric feats of strength and skills. Winner decides the selling price. They&’ll give each other a run for their money, but as the competition heats up, Bella and Jesse&’s icy feelings toward each other begin to thaw. It&’ll take a Christmas miracle for them to admit there&’s a spark, but what if it&’s just another game?
The Christmas Wedding Swap (Pineville #4)
by Allyson CharlesSOMETIMES YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED . . . Allison Stuart has always been the odd-woman-out of her family. She wears her jeans a little too tight, colors her hair a little too blonde, and instead of going into medicine and law like her sisters, she runs a diner. She’s also the only single sibling left. And while she won’t change her style, and her meatloaf is to die for, thank you very much, she wouldn’t mind her share of wedded bliss. So she makes an early New Year’s resolution: No more meaningless flings. Drop-dead sexy Luke Hamilton is everything Allison has sworn off. His only serious relationship has been with his five-star restaurant, Le Cygne Noir, in Chicago. When he’s threatened by a lawsuit, Luke decides to hide out in Pineville, Michigan, until the statute of limitations runs out. The small town is filled with Christmas charm, but he can’t imagine living there. Heating things up with the hottie who owns the local diner would make his exile bearable—if he can convince her to give up her ridiculous resolution . . .
The Christmas Wish List: The perfect feel-good festive read to settle down with this winter
by Heidi Swain'The queen of feel-good' Woman & Home ***The sparkling Christmas novel from the Sunday Times bestselling author Heidi Swain!*** After being let go from her job in a swanky hotel just weeks before Christmas, Hattie is feeling lost. Even more so when her high-flying boyfriend announces he&’s landed his dream job in Abu Dhabi and asks her to move with him. Luckily, Hattie&’s long-time friend Dolly is on hand to help and invites Hattie to spend one last holiday in the small, festive town of Wynbridge, determined to give her a Christmas to remember . . . Upon Hattie&’s arrival, holiday preparations are in full swing. But for Hattie, whose Christmas cheer has long since run out, it&’ll take more than mince pies and mistletoe to open her heart to the season once more. Relishing the task of reigniting Hattie&’s Christmas spirit, Dolly suggests they create a wish list of all the things the season can offer, and with the helpful hands of Wynbridge&’s resident handyman, Beamish, Hattie finds her frosty exterior is starting to thaw. As Wynbridge prepares for its most spectacular Christmas yet, will Hattie leave snowy England behind for life in a sunnier clime, or will she in fact realise that her heart&’s desire lies much closer to home?The Christmas Wish List is the perfect read this Christmas, promising snowfall, warm fires and breath-taking seasonal romance. Perfect for fans of Carole Matthews and Cathy Bramley. Praise for HEIDI SWAIN:'Full of Heidi&’s trademark gentle charm. Lock the door, pour some mulled wine and settle into this wonderful Christmas treat!' Milly Johnson 'More Christmassy than a week in Lapland - we loved it!' heat magazine 'Sprinkled with Christmas sparkle' Trisha Ashley 'Give yourself a Christmas treat and curl up with this magical book!' Sue Moorcroft, author of The Little Village Christmas 'A real Christmas cracker of a read!' Penny Parkes, author of Practice Makes Perfect 'Cosy, Christmassy and deeply satisfying! Another wonderful read!' Mandy Baggot, author of One Christmas Kiss in Notting Hill
Christmas With Billy and Me: A short story
by Giovanna FletcherThe heart-warming sequel to Billy and Me from the Number One bestseller and I'm A Celebrity 2020 contestant!Christmas has come to Rosefont Hill and it's destined to be a particularly special festive season for Sophie May.When a smitten stranger emails Sophie to ask her if he can propose to the woman he loves in her little teashop, the romantic in her finds it impossible to refuse. Even though Christmas is her busiest time of year she has her own sweetheart, Hollywood actor Billy Buskin, to lend a helping hand.How could she say no to making someone's dream come true?As Sophie and Billy work together to plan the perfect fairytale proposal for this couple, excitement in Rosefont Hill is mounting.Who is this mysterious man?And who is the lucky lady he's about to get down on one knee for? . . .Giovanna Fletcher's special Christmas novella is perfect for anyone looking for some seasonal magic.
Christmas with Her Billionaire Boss
by Penny JordanRead this classic romance novella by New York Times bestselling author Penny Jordan, now available for the first time in e-book! Originally published as Figgy Pudding in 1997.The perfect Christmas recipe…Take one woman, add a boss who’s told the world they’re having an affair, and then concoct one very special Christmas dish in order to save her catering career!
Christmas with the Beast: A Steamy Paranormal Romance Spin on Beauty and the Beast (The Conduit Novellas #1)
by Rebecca Hamilton Conner KressleySanta has a third list: the death list. And Char’s name just landed on it.Everyone tried to warm them. Don’t go to Hope’s Bluff at Christmastime. Come back in the spring. Just get out of here while you still can. Run before your name ends up on the list.But by the time Char and Abram know the whole of what’s going on, it’s too late. Now they’re gonna need a Christmas miracle to stop Santa from destroying the small town of Hope’s Bluff.Christmas with the Beast is a standalone novella from the Conduit Series, taking place outside of the Conduit Series timeline. It does not line up to follow or precede any of the existing titles and can be enjoyed separately by series fans and newcomers alike.The Conduit Series is complete! Binge Read the Series Today!Taken by the BeastSleeping with the BeastCharmed by the BeastGranted by the BeastWonderland with the Beast
Christmas with the Maverick Millionaire
by Scarlet WilsonAll he wants for Christmas... To pay for her mother's care, dedicated nurse Sam Lewis normally looks after little patients over Christmas. But this year her assignment is a sinfully gorgeous man, who doesn't even want her help! Struggling with his recent diagnosis, millionaire rock star Mitchell Brody wants to be alone in his snowy mountain chalet for the holidays. But when Sam's infectious enthusiasm has him buying a tree and hanging stockings by the fire he soon realizes that what he wants is Sam...and not just for Christmas!
Christmas with the Prince (Royal Seductions #6)
by Michelle CelmerShe was just there to do a job…not fall in love with a prince! But Olivia Montgomery was having a difficult time remembering that when sexy Prince Aaron kept pursuing her. How could an ordinary woman hope to resist such a seduction?And so Olivia found herself sleeping with royalty. She knew their affair had to end with the new year—Aaron was destined to marry someone of royal blood. Still, that couldn't stop her from wishing she'd find an engagement ring under the Christmas tree.
Christmas Witness
by Aimée ThurloA protector for her child....Mother-to-be Annie Sandusky witnessed a killer fleeing the scene of a crime. Now the murderer was after her. And only the victim's son, Jake Black Raven, was man enough to protect her....Tall and proud, Jake Black Raven became Annie's shadow. He'd returned to the ranch only to settle his father's affaris, but he couldn't leave when Annie was still in danger. Not with her baby due any minute. And not when he would trade a thousand days for just one night in her bed. His father had left him a dangerous legacy, but he would lure out a killer if it meant saving Annie-and the child he'd begun to consider his own....
The Christmasaurus
by Tom Fletcher Shane DevriesWhy settle for a pony or a puppy for Christmas when you could have a dinosaur? A rollicking adventure from singer-songwriter and YouTuber Tom Fletcher.Once upon a time--long, long ago, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth--an egg rolled away from its mother and landed in the ocean, where it froze solid and stayed peacefully for thousands of years. Then one day Santa and his elves discover the frozen egg, and Santa sits on it to see if it will hatch. But he can't guess what's inside. . . . A dinosaur!Meanwhile, a young boy named William Trundle has only ever wished for one thing for Christmas: a dinosaur! So when Santa accidentally gives William the real Christmasaurus instead of a stuffed replica, it's the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! Until an evil man known as the Hunter decides a dinosaur will be the perfect addition to his collection. A wild and hilarious adventure ensues. An instant Christmas classic!
Christmastime Courtship (Matchmaking Mamas #24)
by Marie FerrarellaStop…in the name of loveWhat kind of motorcycle cop gives a speeding ticket around Christmas? One as by the book as Colin Kirby. But when he stops pediatric oncology nurse Miranda Steele, little does he know that she’s about to zoom straight into his heart. Or that the Matchmaking Mamas have the unlucky-in-love pair straight in their sights…After a childhood tragedy, bright-as-sunshine Miranda’s used to making the best of any situation. So she knows the handsome policeman represents an opportunity: he needs to visit her sick kids at the hospital. But Miranda quickly realizes the closed-off Colin is in need of her help just as much as any of those she volunteers for. And she’s determined to work her way into his heart this holiday season.
Christopher
by Allison Burnett"Either he's channeling Truman Capote's spirit, or Allison Burnett has created, all by himself, one of the more assured narrative voices in recent memory. His B. K. Troop is a pitch-perfect creation: bitchy-funny with a twist of rue. " --Louis Bayard, author of Fool's Errand and Endangered Species "Christopher is the literary equivalent of sparkling banter whose aftermath is trenchant poignancy. The deep, sad truths of this slyly funny novel continue to gather force long after you've finished reading. " --Kate Christensen, author of In the Drink and Jeremy Thrane The delicious debut of a hilarious new voice in fiction. It's Oscar Wilde meets Nabokov meets something entirely new. Unemployed, middle-aged, bipolar, gay, bitingly witty, erudite, unattractive, and lonely, B. K. Troop, the narrator of Christopher, isn't exactly looking forward to a life of exciting prospects--until he meets his new neighbor. Christopher Ireland is a twenty-five-year-old idealist and aspiring novelist still reeling from a bitter divorce. Even though B. K. knows full well that Christopher is hopelessly heterosexual, he wants nothing more than to seduce him, so he sets about his self-appointed mission with all the cunning and zeal of the Big Bad Wolf. Christopher recounts B. K's year long attempt to consummate his lust, with hilarious results. But it also charts the coming of age of Christopher who, like all true idealists, throws himself body and soul into the quest for a meaningful life. He develops a crush on a married waitress, gets involved in politics, enrolls in a New Age workshop, struggles to begin his first novel, and battles to free himself from the clutches of his monstrous mother. Thankfully, all of this is seen through B. K's eyes and narrated in his deliciously incisive and witty voice. As often happens in tales of seduction, the seducer winds up being seduced by his prey, and that is precisely what, to his horror, B. K. discovers as his feelings turn more tender than predatory. Both darkly ironic and poignantly romantic,Christopher is a remarkable debut by a brave, acerbic, and original new writer.
The Christopher Park Regulars: A Novel
by Edward SwiftThe misadventures of a motley group of artists making their way in New York CityA misfit collection of wannabes, has-beens, and never-weres, the Christopher Park Regulars gather frequently in the heart of New York&’s Greenwich Village. Here they share their hopes, dreams, and memories (and in the case of the abnormally obsessed C.C. Wake, an irrational fear of earthquakes), as they wait to become famous.Andrew T. Andrews left a fancy home, job, and wife behind to struggle downtown as a starving writer and has now almost finished his third book on his best subject: himself. Maria la Hija de Jesús has also come a long way from where she started—when she was a he—to become a bona fide off-off Broadway star . . . when she isn&’t spending time in a senior citizen home taking the residents on fantasy excursions to Europe. And then there&’s the rice cereal heir, the High Fiber Man, watching helplessly in horror as his mother fritters away his inheritance.Author Edward Swift&’s love of endearing eccentrics, rebels, and oddballs has been well documented in such acclaimed novels as Splendora, Principia Martindale, and A Place with Promise. Now he brings the sideshow from the dust of East Texas to the hustle and bustle of New York City, chronicling the struggles of his irrepressible Regulars in a story that is funny, sad, and totally outrageous.
Christopher Pumpkin
by Sue Hendra Paul LinnetMeet Christopher Pumpkin - the Halloween pumpkin who doesn't want to be scary! A funny rhyming story from the authors of Supertato and the creators of Simon Sock.Christopher Pumpkin is delighted to be magicked to life by a witch - until he discovers she wants him and the other pumpkins to get her creepy castle ready for the spookiest party ever! Chris just can't bring himself to hang cobwebs and cook curried slugs - he's much more into bunting and fairy cakes!A delightful story about blazing your own trail, perfect for reading aloud!Sue Hendra and Paul Linnet's hilarious books have sold over 1 million copies!
Christos's Promise (Passion Ser. #21)
by Jane PorterBride by arrangement, unwilling wife…The first time Christos Pateras laid eyes on Alysia, he promised he would make her his.Ten years later, Christos seized the chance to realize his vow: Alysia's father was offering his daughter's hand in marriage, in exchange for Christos's financial support. But on their wedding night, Christos discovered that though Alysia might be his bride by arrangement, she was not his willing wife…
The Christwire Handbook: Staying Saved In A Wicked World
by Jack Gould The Christwire FlockCanadians Are Really Mexicans--Just Look at GleeA national media sensation, ChristWire.org takes righteousness beyond the bounds of reason. You can't argue the truth. If God didn't send tornadoes to warn blacks about rap music, who did? If your husband isn't a closet gay, he must secretly be Chinese. Don't send your son to college unless you want to expose him to the dangers of vajazzling. This is no joke, folks. ChristWire is here to save the world from falling into the hands of sanity. "I'm the anti-ChristWire." --Howard Stern "It's so good--and people on the Internet are so insane that no one gets it." --Village Voice "In the world of ChristWire. . .the recent increase of pet-on-pet rape is a pernicious consequence of same-sex marriage." --New York Magazine"The leading Internet site for ultraconservative Christian news, commentary, and weather reportage." --The New York Times"ChristWire's genius (or evil) lies in its hypberbolic, worst-case scenario, Christian coverage of everything." --Jezebel.comJack Gould Pastor Jack "Jbox" Gould is a local best-selling author, motivational speaker, and youth pastor extraordinaire at Langley CC, where his stories about the laid-back California life and his relations to Jack-in-the-Box bobbleheads are all the rage. Jack is also one of the top-ten most-feared pro-lifers.Tyson Bowers III Youth leader Tyson Bowers III proudly practices abstinence and teaches his youth groups the joys of a sexless life. Tyson travels the country giving lectures to students ranging from middle school to college about the dangers of homosexuality and liberals. Tyson is also a champion snowflake paper cutter.