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The Christmas Wager
by Holly CassidyFrom a bestselling Canadian author comes a delightful enemies-to-lovers holiday rom-com set in the quaint town of Maple Falls, about a city girl and a small-town boy who compete in the town&’s annual holiday games in order to win the right price for a Christmas shop, perfect for fans of The Hating Game and One Day in December.One rivalry. Eight days until Christmas. Let the holiday games begin.When LA-based real estate developer Bella Ross arrives in the sleepy, mountain town of Maple Falls, she has one mission: to acquire the local failing Christmas shop, Always Noelle, securing the promotion of her dreams. Nothing can get in her way. Except the shop owner&’s stubborn grandson, Jesse Harrison.Both refuse to budge, until an unlikely wager is struck: Bella and Jesse will compete in the Maple Falls Holiday Games, an annual tradition of eccentric feats of strength and skills. Winner decides the selling price. They&’ll give each other a run for their money, but as the competition heats up, Bella and Jesse&’s icy feelings toward each other begin to thaw. It&’ll take a Christmas miracle for them to admit there&’s a spark, but what if it&’s just another game?
The Christmas Wager
by Holly CassidyA delightful enemies-to-lovers holiday rom com set in the quaint mountain town of Maple Falls, Colorado, about a city girl and a small-town boy who compete in the town&’s annual holiday games in order to win the right price for a charming, local Christmas shop, perfect for fans of The Hating Game and The Twelve Dates of Christmas.One rivalry. Eight days until Christmas. Let the holiday games begin.When L.A.-based real estate developer Bella Ross arrives in the sleepy mountain town of Maple Falls, she has one mission: to acquire the local failing Christmas shop, Always Noelle, securing the promotion of her dreams. Nothing can get in her way. Except the shop owner&’s stubborn grandson, Jesse Harrison.Both refuse to budge, until an unlikely wager is struck: Bella and Jesse will compete in the Maple Falls Holiday Games, an annual tradition of eccentric feats of strength and skills. Winner decides the selling price. They&’ll give each other a run for their money, but as the competition heats up, Bella and Jesse&’s icy feelings toward each other begin to thaw. It&’ll take a Christmas miracle for them to admit there&’s a spark, but what if it&’s just another game?
The Christmas Wedding Swap (Pineville #4)
by Allyson CharlesSOMETIMES YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED . . . Allison Stuart has always been the odd-woman-out of her family. She wears her jeans a little too tight, colors her hair a little too blonde, and instead of going into medicine and law like her sisters, she runs a diner. She’s also the only single sibling left. And while she won’t change her style, and her meatloaf is to die for, thank you very much, she wouldn’t mind her share of wedded bliss. So she makes an early New Year’s resolution: No more meaningless flings. Drop-dead sexy Luke Hamilton is everything Allison has sworn off. His only serious relationship has been with his five-star restaurant, Le Cygne Noir, in Chicago. When he’s threatened by a lawsuit, Luke decides to hide out in Pineville, Michigan, until the statute of limitations runs out. The small town is filled with Christmas charm, but he can’t imagine living there. Heating things up with the hottie who owns the local diner would make his exile bearable—if he can convince her to give up her ridiculous resolution . . .
The Christmas Wish List: The perfect feel-good festive read to settle down with this winter
by Heidi Swain'The queen of feel-good' Woman & Home ***The sparkling Christmas novel from the Sunday Times bestselling author Heidi Swain!*** After being let go from her job in a swanky hotel just weeks before Christmas, Hattie is feeling lost. Even more so when her high-flying boyfriend announces he&’s landed his dream job in Abu Dhabi and asks her to move with him. Luckily, Hattie&’s long-time friend Dolly is on hand to help and invites Hattie to spend one last holiday in the small, festive town of Wynbridge, determined to give her a Christmas to remember . . . Upon Hattie&’s arrival, holiday preparations are in full swing. But for Hattie, whose Christmas cheer has long since run out, it&’ll take more than mince pies and mistletoe to open her heart to the season once more. Relishing the task of reigniting Hattie&’s Christmas spirit, Dolly suggests they create a wish list of all the things the season can offer, and with the helpful hands of Wynbridge&’s resident handyman, Beamish, Hattie finds her frosty exterior is starting to thaw. As Wynbridge prepares for its most spectacular Christmas yet, will Hattie leave snowy England behind for life in a sunnier clime, or will she in fact realise that her heart&’s desire lies much closer to home?The Christmas Wish List is the perfect read this Christmas, promising snowfall, warm fires and breath-taking seasonal romance. Perfect for fans of Carole Matthews and Cathy Bramley. Praise for HEIDI SWAIN:'Full of Heidi&’s trademark gentle charm. Lock the door, pour some mulled wine and settle into this wonderful Christmas treat!' Milly Johnson 'More Christmassy than a week in Lapland - we loved it!' heat magazine 'Sprinkled with Christmas sparkle' Trisha Ashley 'Give yourself a Christmas treat and curl up with this magical book!' Sue Moorcroft, author of The Little Village Christmas 'A real Christmas cracker of a read!' Penny Parkes, author of Practice Makes Perfect 'Cosy, Christmassy and deeply satisfying! Another wonderful read!' Mandy Baggot, author of One Christmas Kiss in Notting Hill
Christmas With Billy and Me: A short story
by Giovanna FletcherThe heart-warming sequel to Billy and Me from the Number One bestseller and I'm A Celebrity 2020 contestant!Christmas has come to Rosefont Hill and it's destined to be a particularly special festive season for Sophie May.When a smitten stranger emails Sophie to ask her if he can propose to the woman he loves in her little teashop, the romantic in her finds it impossible to refuse. Even though Christmas is her busiest time of year she has her own sweetheart, Hollywood actor Billy Buskin, to lend a helping hand.How could she say no to making someone's dream come true?As Sophie and Billy work together to plan the perfect fairytale proposal for this couple, excitement in Rosefont Hill is mounting.Who is this mysterious man?And who is the lucky lady he's about to get down on one knee for? . . .Giovanna Fletcher's special Christmas novella is perfect for anyone looking for some seasonal magic.
Christmas with Her Billionaire Boss
by Penny JordanRead this classic romance novella by New York Times bestselling author Penny Jordan, now available for the first time in e-book! Originally published as Figgy Pudding in 1997.The perfect Christmas recipe…Take one woman, add a boss who’s told the world they’re having an affair, and then concoct one very special Christmas dish in order to save her catering career!
Christmas with the Beast: A Steamy Paranormal Romance Spin on Beauty and the Beast (The Conduit Novellas #1)
by Rebecca Hamilton Conner KressleySanta has a third list: the death list. And Char’s name just landed on it.Everyone tried to warm them. Don’t go to Hope’s Bluff at Christmastime. Come back in the spring. Just get out of here while you still can. Run before your name ends up on the list.But by the time Char and Abram know the whole of what’s going on, it’s too late. Now they’re gonna need a Christmas miracle to stop Santa from destroying the small town of Hope’s Bluff.Christmas with the Beast is a standalone novella from the Conduit Series, taking place outside of the Conduit Series timeline. It does not line up to follow or precede any of the existing titles and can be enjoyed separately by series fans and newcomers alike.The Conduit Series is complete! Binge Read the Series Today!Taken by the BeastSleeping with the BeastCharmed by the BeastGranted by the BeastWonderland with the Beast
Christmas with the Maverick Millionaire
by Scarlet WilsonAll he wants for Christmas... To pay for her mother's care, dedicated nurse Sam Lewis normally looks after little patients over Christmas. But this year her assignment is a sinfully gorgeous man, who doesn't even want her help! Struggling with his recent diagnosis, millionaire rock star Mitchell Brody wants to be alone in his snowy mountain chalet for the holidays. But when Sam's infectious enthusiasm has him buying a tree and hanging stockings by the fire he soon realizes that what he wants is Sam...and not just for Christmas!
Christmas with the Prince (Royal Seductions #6)
by Michelle CelmerShe was just there to do a job…not fall in love with a prince! But Olivia Montgomery was having a difficult time remembering that when sexy Prince Aaron kept pursuing her. How could an ordinary woman hope to resist such a seduction?And so Olivia found herself sleeping with royalty. She knew their affair had to end with the new year—Aaron was destined to marry someone of royal blood. Still, that couldn't stop her from wishing she'd find an engagement ring under the Christmas tree.
Christmas Witness
by Aimée ThurloA protector for her child....Mother-to-be Annie Sandusky witnessed a killer fleeing the scene of a crime. Now the murderer was after her. And only the victim's son, Jake Black Raven, was man enough to protect her....Tall and proud, Jake Black Raven became Annie's shadow. He'd returned to the ranch only to settle his father's affaris, but he couldn't leave when Annie was still in danger. Not with her baby due any minute. And not when he would trade a thousand days for just one night in her bed. His father had left him a dangerous legacy, but he would lure out a killer if it meant saving Annie-and the child he'd begun to consider his own....
The Christmasaurus
by Tom Fletcher Shane DevriesWhy settle for a pony or a puppy for Christmas when you could have a dinosaur? A rollicking adventure from singer-songwriter and YouTuber Tom Fletcher.Once upon a time--long, long ago, when dinosaurs roamed the Earth--an egg rolled away from its mother and landed in the ocean, where it froze solid and stayed peacefully for thousands of years. Then one day Santa and his elves discover the frozen egg, and Santa sits on it to see if it will hatch. But he can't guess what's inside. . . . A dinosaur!Meanwhile, a young boy named William Trundle has only ever wished for one thing for Christmas: a dinosaur! So when Santa accidentally gives William the real Christmasaurus instead of a stuffed replica, it's the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! Until an evil man known as the Hunter decides a dinosaur will be the perfect addition to his collection. A wild and hilarious adventure ensues. An instant Christmas classic!
Christmastime Courtship (Matchmaking Mamas #24)
by Marie FerrarellaStop…in the name of loveWhat kind of motorcycle cop gives a speeding ticket around Christmas? One as by the book as Colin Kirby. But when he stops pediatric oncology nurse Miranda Steele, little does he know that she’s about to zoom straight into his heart. Or that the Matchmaking Mamas have the unlucky-in-love pair straight in their sights…After a childhood tragedy, bright-as-sunshine Miranda’s used to making the best of any situation. So she knows the handsome policeman represents an opportunity: he needs to visit her sick kids at the hospital. But Miranda quickly realizes the closed-off Colin is in need of her help just as much as any of those she volunteers for. And she’s determined to work her way into his heart this holiday season.
Christopher
by Allison Burnett"Either he's channeling Truman Capote's spirit, or Allison Burnett has created, all by himself, one of the more assured narrative voices in recent memory. His B. K. Troop is a pitch-perfect creation: bitchy-funny with a twist of rue. " --Louis Bayard, author of Fool's Errand and Endangered Species "Christopher is the literary equivalent of sparkling banter whose aftermath is trenchant poignancy. The deep, sad truths of this slyly funny novel continue to gather force long after you've finished reading. " --Kate Christensen, author of In the Drink and Jeremy Thrane The delicious debut of a hilarious new voice in fiction. It's Oscar Wilde meets Nabokov meets something entirely new. Unemployed, middle-aged, bipolar, gay, bitingly witty, erudite, unattractive, and lonely, B. K. Troop, the narrator of Christopher, isn't exactly looking forward to a life of exciting prospects--until he meets his new neighbor. Christopher Ireland is a twenty-five-year-old idealist and aspiring novelist still reeling from a bitter divorce. Even though B. K. knows full well that Christopher is hopelessly heterosexual, he wants nothing more than to seduce him, so he sets about his self-appointed mission with all the cunning and zeal of the Big Bad Wolf. Christopher recounts B. K's year long attempt to consummate his lust, with hilarious results. But it also charts the coming of age of Christopher who, like all true idealists, throws himself body and soul into the quest for a meaningful life. He develops a crush on a married waitress, gets involved in politics, enrolls in a New Age workshop, struggles to begin his first novel, and battles to free himself from the clutches of his monstrous mother. Thankfully, all of this is seen through B. K's eyes and narrated in his deliciously incisive and witty voice. As often happens in tales of seduction, the seducer winds up being seduced by his prey, and that is precisely what, to his horror, B. K. discovers as his feelings turn more tender than predatory. Both darkly ironic and poignantly romantic,Christopher is a remarkable debut by a brave, acerbic, and original new writer.
The Christopher Park Regulars: A Novel
by Edward SwiftThe misadventures of a motley group of artists making their way in New York CityA misfit collection of wannabes, has-beens, and never-weres, the Christopher Park Regulars gather frequently in the heart of New York&’s Greenwich Village. Here they share their hopes, dreams, and memories (and in the case of the abnormally obsessed C.C. Wake, an irrational fear of earthquakes), as they wait to become famous.Andrew T. Andrews left a fancy home, job, and wife behind to struggle downtown as a starving writer and has now almost finished his third book on his best subject: himself. Maria la Hija de Jesús has also come a long way from where she started—when she was a he—to become a bona fide off-off Broadway star . . . when she isn&’t spending time in a senior citizen home taking the residents on fantasy excursions to Europe. And then there&’s the rice cereal heir, the High Fiber Man, watching helplessly in horror as his mother fritters away his inheritance.Author Edward Swift&’s love of endearing eccentrics, rebels, and oddballs has been well documented in such acclaimed novels as Splendora, Principia Martindale, and A Place with Promise. Now he brings the sideshow from the dust of East Texas to the hustle and bustle of New York City, chronicling the struggles of his irrepressible Regulars in a story that is funny, sad, and totally outrageous.
Christopher Pumpkin
by Sue Hendra Paul LinnetMeet Christopher Pumpkin - the Halloween pumpkin who doesn't want to be scary! A funny rhyming story from the authors of Supertato and the creators of Simon Sock.Christopher Pumpkin is delighted to be magicked to life by a witch - until he discovers she wants him and the other pumpkins to get her creepy castle ready for the spookiest party ever! Chris just can't bring himself to hang cobwebs and cook curried slugs - he's much more into bunting and fairy cakes!A delightful story about blazing your own trail, perfect for reading aloud!Sue Hendra and Paul Linnet's hilarious books have sold over 1 million copies!
Christos's Promise (Passion Ser. #21)
by Jane PorterBride by arrangement, unwilling wife…The first time Christos Pateras laid eyes on Alysia, he promised he would make her his.Ten years later, Christos seized the chance to realize his vow: Alysia's father was offering his daughter's hand in marriage, in exchange for Christos's financial support. But on their wedding night, Christos discovered that though Alysia might be his bride by arrangement, she was not his willing wife…
The Christwire Handbook: Staying Saved In A Wicked World
by Jack Gould The Christwire FlockCanadians Are Really Mexicans--Just Look at GleeA national media sensation, ChristWire.org takes righteousness beyond the bounds of reason. You can't argue the truth. If God didn't send tornadoes to warn blacks about rap music, who did? If your husband isn't a closet gay, he must secretly be Chinese. Don't send your son to college unless you want to expose him to the dangers of vajazzling. This is no joke, folks. ChristWire is here to save the world from falling into the hands of sanity. "I'm the anti-ChristWire." --Howard Stern "It's so good--and people on the Internet are so insane that no one gets it." --Village Voice "In the world of ChristWire. . .the recent increase of pet-on-pet rape is a pernicious consequence of same-sex marriage." --New York Magazine"The leading Internet site for ultraconservative Christian news, commentary, and weather reportage." --The New York Times"ChristWire's genius (or evil) lies in its hypberbolic, worst-case scenario, Christian coverage of everything." --Jezebel.comJack Gould Pastor Jack "Jbox" Gould is a local best-selling author, motivational speaker, and youth pastor extraordinaire at Langley CC, where his stories about the laid-back California life and his relations to Jack-in-the-Box bobbleheads are all the rage. Jack is also one of the top-ten most-feared pro-lifers.Tyson Bowers III Youth leader Tyson Bowers III proudly practices abstinence and teaches his youth groups the joys of a sexless life. Tyson travels the country giving lectures to students ranging from middle school to college about the dangers of homosexuality and liberals. Tyson is also a champion snowflake paper cutter.
Chronicles of a Radical Hag (with Recipes): A Novel
by Lorna LandvikA bittersweet, seriously funny novel of a life, a small town, and a key to our troubled times traced through a newspaper columnist&’s half-century of taking in, and taking on, the world The curmudgeon who wrote the column &“Ramblin&’s by Walt&” in the Granite Creek Gazette dismissed his successor as &“puking on paper.&” But when Haze Evans first appeared in the small-town newspaper, she earned fans by writing a story about her bachelor uncle who brought a Queen of the Rodeo to Thanksgiving dinner. Now, fifty years later, when the beloved columnist suffers a massive stroke and falls into a coma, publisher Susan McGrath fills the void (temporarily, she hopes) with Haze&’s past columns, along with the occasional reprinted responses from readers. Most letters were favorable, although Haze did have her trolls; one Joseph Snell in particular dubbed her &“liberal&” ideas the &“chronicles of a radical hag.&” Never censoring herself, Haze chose to mollify her critics with homey recipes—recognizing, in her constantly practical approach to the world and her community, that buttery Almond Crescents will certainly &“melt away any misdirected anger.&”Framed by news stories of half a century and annotated with the town&’s chorus of voices, Haze&’s story unfolds, as do those of others touched by the Granite Creek Gazette, including Susan, struggling with her troubled marriage, and her teenage son Sam, who—much to his surprise—enjoys his summer job reading the paper archives and discovers secrets that have been locked in the files for decades, along with sad and surprising truths about Haze&’s past. With her customary warmth and wit, Lorna Landvik summons a lifetime at once lost and recovered, a complicated past that speaks with knowing eloquence to a confused present. Her topical but timeless Chronicles of a Radical Hag reminds us—sometimes with a subtle touch, sometimes with gobsmacking humor—of the power of words and of silence, as well as the wonder of finding in each other what we never even knew we were missing.
The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, Vol. I: Charmed Life and The Lives of Christopher Chant (Chronicles of Chrestomanci #1)
by Diana Wynne Jones“Always perfectly magical.” —Neil GaimanA timeless classic with brand-new cover art! Diana Wynne Jones’s bestselling, magical, and funny Chrestomanci novels will enchant fans of Soman Chainani, Rick Riordan, and Chris Colfer.Volume I contains Charmed Life and The Lives of Christopher Chant.In Charmed Life, the first Chrestomanci book, the orphaned Cat Chant and his sister Gwendolen are taken to live at Chrestomanci Castle. There they are under the guardianship and tutelage of the Chrestomanci—a nine-lived enchanter who polices the many worlds of the multiverse. Gwendolen thinks highly of herself and her magical skills, but it soon comes out that Cat is the more powerful. He himself is a nine-lived enchanter and will one day take up Chrestomanci’s job—if he and Chrestomanci can stop Gwendolen from wreaking havoc in multiple worlds.The Lives of Christopher Chant is the story of Chrestomanci’s own childhood and how he came to live at the Castle himself. With distracted parents, a nefarious uncle, and a severe guardian who was Chrestomanci before Christopher, it’s no wonder that Christopher keeps losing his lives.The first of three volumes, the Chronicles of Chrestomanci can be read in any order.
The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, Vol. II: The Magicians of Caprona and Witch Week (Chronicles of Chrestomanci #2)
by Diana Wynne Jones“Always perfectly magical.” —Neil GaimanA timeless classic with brand-new cover art! Diana Wynne Jones’s bestselling, magical, and funny Chrestomanci novels will enchant fans of Soman Chainani, Rick Riordan, and Chris Colfer.Volume II contains The Magicians of Caprona and Witch Week.In the Magicians of Caprona, the two warring families of Caprona, the Montanas and the Petrocchis, must join forces to keep the White Devil from invading their city. Even Chrestomanci becomes involved when two of the youngest family members, Tonino Montana and Angelica Petrocchi, go missing. Their unusual magical powers will be key to stopping the White Devil.Witch Week takes place in a world where witches are burned at the stake, so when a note reading “Someone in this class is a witch” appears in Class 6B, it’s no laughing matter. Only Chrestomanci can sort out the mess that the students of 6B get themselves into.The second of three volumes, the Chronicles of Chrestomanci can be read in any order.
The Chronicles of Chrestomanci, Vol. III: Conrad's Fate and The Pinhoe Egg (Chronicles of Chrestomanci #3)
by Diana Wynne Jones“Always perfectly magical.” —Neil GaimanA timeless classic with brand-new cover art! Diana Wynne Jones’s bestselling, magical, and funny Chrestomanci novels will enchant fans of Soman Chainani, Rick Riordan, and Chris Colfer.Volume III contains Conrad’s Fate and The Pinhoe Egg.In Conrad’s Fate, Conrad Tesdinic must overcome his terrible karma while working at the mysterious Stallery Mansion. Luckily for him, young Christopher Chant is also undercover at Stallery to rescue his friend Millie.In The Pinhoe Egg, Cat Chant and Marianne Pinhoe discover a mystical egg in Marianne’s attic. If Marianne and Cat can harness their own considerable powers, they’ll soon see how the egg fits into the many secrets in Marianne’s family of secret rogue witches. But it may lead to a mess only the Chrestomanci can sort out.The third of three volumes, the Chronicles of Chrestomanci can be read in any order.
The Chronicles of Clovis
by SakiRenowned for his witty dialogue and macabre humor, Saki skewered the pretensions and follies of the Edwardian age. This 1911 collection of well-plotted, acerbic short stories showcases his mastery of comic repartee. The tales recount the escapades of an irreverent socialite, Clovis Sangrail--a forerunner to the aristocratic Bertie Wooster of Jeeves fame. Saki's satires remain remarkably contemporary, offering paradoxical combinations of good-natured irony and cheerful cruelty. This compact anthology features some of his most popular stories, including "Sredni Vashtar," "Tobermory," "Esmé," and "Mrs. Packletide's Tiger."
Chronicles of Elantra Vol 3: Cast in Chaos\Cast in Ruin\Cast in Peril (The Chronicles of Elantra)
by Michelle SagaraCHRONICLES OF ELANTRA, VOLUME 3New York Times bestselling author Michelle Sagara sweeps readers away to the fantastical city of Elantra, where magic and adventure ensure that the life of Private Kaylin Neya is never boring.CAST IN CHAOSPrivate Kaylin Neya has encountered many strange things during her years as a Hawk, but nothing has prepared her for this latest case. The charlatans on Elani Street have suddenly grown powerful, the Oracles are thrown into an uproar and a monster is trying to break through the barriers between the worlds. Will Kaylin's strange powers be enough to protect the city from the danger ahead?CAST IN RUINSeven corpses are discovered in the streets of a Dragon's fief. All identical, down to their clothing. Private Kaylin Neya is assigned to discover who they were, who killed them--and why. Is the evil lurking at the borders of Elantra preparing to cross over?CAST IN PERILPrivate Kaylin Neya has been busy angling for a new promotion, living with a Dragon roommate and resettling refugees. The last thing she needs is to be pulled away from the city for a journey to the West March with the Barrani. But when she is nearly killed in an assassination attempt, her superiors decide that a few weeks with the Barrani may be the best way to ensure her safety.
The Chronicles of Kazam Collection, Books 1–3: Books 1-3 (The Chronicles of Kazam)
by Jasper FfordeIn true Ffordian fashion, New York Times best-selling author Jasper Fforde weaves the wild with wit in this fantasy series for young readers. Read the first three books now! Magic is fading fast in the Ununited Kingdom. The uppity and vain sorcerers might think delivering pizzas by magic carpet or rewiring a house is beneath their talent, but fifteen-year-old Jennifer Strange, who manages an employment agency for magicians, knows better than to turn up her nose at any job they can get. And then the visions start, predicting the death of the world&’s last dragon at the hands of an unnamed Dragonslayer. All signs point to Jennifer—and Big Magic. This digital collection includes the novels The Last Dragonslayer, The Song of the Quarkbeast, and The Eye of Zoltar.
Chuck Norris: Longer and Harder
by Ian SpectorA concept so magnificent that mere mortals cannot fathom its depths is now a reality: the ultimate collection of facts about the world's most kick-ass man. Double up on birth control and locate your nearest bomb shelter for this epic collection of all Chuck Norris facts found in The Truth About Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T, Chuck Norris Cannot Be Stopped, The Last Stand of Chuck Norris, on the walls of the Great Pyramid of Giza, in the unpublished works of Shakespeare, and at the bottom of the Mariana Trench. This volume includes one hundred Chuck facts that human eyes have never seen and more roundhouse kicks than the Bible. This massive bulging volume throbs with 1,500 pieces of truth about the world's deadliest, sexiest, and beardiest man such as:Chuck Norris once ran for Senate in Texas and won both seats. Bigfoot is a piece of Chuck Norris's beard that gained sentience and escaped. Work records are just things that Chuck Norris has not yet attempted. Chuck Norris can create enough wind power with one roundhouse kick power Sri Lanka for forty days. The 2011 Tea Party Convention was held entirely within Chuck Norris's beard. If you hold Chuck Norris's cowboys boot to your ear, you can hear the riff from 'Rock You Like a Hurricane. 'Chuck Norris is where babies come from. The most important historical document since the Magna Carta, Longer and Harder is the only fitting paean to the man whose name we quake to speak: Chuck Norris