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Clean Up on Aisle Stupid: A Get Fuzzy Collection (Get Fuzzy #23)
by Darby ConleyIn this Get Fuzzy compilation, Rob’s pets Bucky and Satchel will tickle your funny bone—when they’re not chewing on it that is!Welcome to the quirky—and always eccentric—household of human Rob Wilco. While his existence as an ad executive would be bland under normal circumstances, one mangy, temperamental cat and one docile dog make it anything but. In this Get Fuzzy collection, the ever-popular pairing of mischievous Bucky Katt and tolerant pooch Satchel return to comically define the separation between animal instinct and human nature.
Cleaner: A biting workplace satire - for fans of Ottessa Moshfegh and Halle Butler
by Brandi WellsAn off-the-wall, satirical debut about a night-shift cleaner in a corporate office block, for fans of CONVENIENCE STORE WOMAN, THE NEW ME and MY YEAR OF REST AND RELAXATION.'I clean the offices and bathrooms and lobby five nights a week, but my actual job is to take care of everyone. They need so much help.'At night, in a corporate office block in an unnamed metropolitan city, a cleaner begins her shift. As she cleans Sad Intern's desk, she throws away some of her more alarming health supplements, and leaves her healthy snacks instead. Mr Buff's desk is immaculate, but he seems to have a secret smoking habit - not conducive to his fitness journey - which she's going to help him kick. She confiscates the knitted coaster that sexy, sensitive Yarn Guy has given to Soda Woman - someone who clips her nails in the office doesn't deserve his gifts. She's the office guardian angel - and no one even knows it.But tonight, while scrolling through your emails, she'll discover the secret you've been hiding - the one that will threaten her job, and the jobs of everyone she takes care of. And you're about to find out that, sometimes, your most powerful enemy is the one you don't even see.(P) 2023 Headline Publishing Group Ltd
Cleaner: A biting workplace satire - for fans of Ottessa Moshfegh and Halle Butler
by Brandi Wells'Razor-sharp . . . Biting and compulsive' GRAZIAI clean the offices and bathrooms and lobby five nights a week, but my actual job is to take care of everyone. They need so much help.At night, in a corporate office block in an unnamed metropolitan city, a cleaner begins her shift. As she cleans Sad Intern's desk, she throws away some of her more alarming health supplements, and leaves her healthy snacks instead. Mr Buff's desk is immaculate, but he seems to have a secret smoking habit - not conducive to his fitness journey - which she's going to help him kick. She confiscates the knitted coaster that attractive, sensitive Yarn Guy has given to Cola Woman - someone who clips her nails in the office doesn't deserve his gifts. But tonight, while scrolling through your emails, she'll discover the secret you've been hiding - the one that will threaten her job, and the jobs of everyone she takes care of. And you're about to find out that, sometimes, your most powerful enemy is the one you don't even see.
The Cleaner: A Novel
by Brandi Wells&“Welcome to the office building at night, an eerie ship helmed by one woman desperate for connection.&” —Julia Fine, author of Maddalena and the DarkEvery night, she cleans. On the fourth floor of an unnamed office in an unnamed city, the night cleaner comes and does what she does best—sorts out the messes of the daytime employees. None of them know her, but she knows everything about them: Sad Intern&’s dreams to get promoted, Résumé Woman&’s nasty flight-risk behavior, Mr. Buff&’s secret smoking habit (not very conducive to his fitness journey). She&’s the office mastermind, the one everyone needs, and no one even knows she exists. And tonight, while scrolling through your emails, she&’ll discover the secret you&’ve been hiding—the one that will put everyone&’s job at risk.After all, protecting the employees is her responsibility: whether it&’s from rats and window smudges or from the sinister CEO who may be driving the company into ruin. And you&’re about to find out that, sometimes, your most powerful enemy is the one you don&’t even see.
The Cleaning Job
by Charlotte Forsdick Pea JungThe Cleaning Job – It’s not about the dirt The waitress Josefine sweeps up a few shards of glass from under a table. An ordinary job for a waitress, right? Not even close. Because a mysterious stranger is staring at her butt and then pays her for the privilege. The next day an unexpected job offer appears out of nowhere.
Clear: A Transparent Novel
by Nicola BarkerOn September 5, 2003, illusionist David Blaine entered a small Perspex box adjacent to London's Thames River and began starving himself. Forty-four days later, on October 19, he left the box, fifty pounds lighter. That much, at least, is clear. And the rest? The crowds? The chaos? The hype? The rage? The fights? The lust? The filth? The bullshit? The hypocrisy?Nicola Barker fearlessly crams all that and more into this ribald and outrageous peep show of a novel, her most irreverent, caustic, up-to-the-minute work yet, laying bare the heart of our contemporary world, a world of illusion, delusion, celebrity, and hunger.
Cleared for Takeoff
by Julia Devillers Paige PoolerIn New Girl in Town, Liberty is settled in at the White House but off to a rough start at her new school. It's hard being the new girl, especially since she has to bring along a bodyguard. And do the other kids only want to be friends because she's the First Daughter?
Clearing the Aisle
by Karen SchwartzThey're getting hitched. When Rachel Silverstein and her longtime boyfriend Dan Gershon decide to get engaged, they hardly expect that planning a wedding will be more difficult than any life changes they've braved in the five years they've been dating. After all, they already live together. But suddenly everyone from parents to friends to cousins to caterers seems to be losing their minds completely. Surely it can't all be in Rachel's head. Can it? She's going insane. Between her budget-crazed father, her flighty mother, her stepmother, her seemingly perfectly well-meaning in-laws, and a fiancé who's suddenly questioning the very institution of marriage, Rachel's barely holding it together. If the guest-list wars and menu battles don't kill her, the dress-shopping will. And what's it going to take for Dan to step up and realize that his beloved future bride needs his help coping with the madness if she's ever going to make it to the altar?
Clearly, I Didn't Think This Through
by Anna GoldfarbIn Her Defense, It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time... Although Anna Goldfarb is very tall, she can't seem to grow up. While her friends lead lives seemingly plucked out of the pages of an Ikea catalog, she is still trying to figure out where she'll score this week's beer money. Maturity used to be something she aspired to, but as a woman in her early thirties, it is finally time for her to take a good hard look in the mirror and ask herself, "Is adulthood really for me?" Clearly, I Didn't Think this Through chronicles Anna's hilarious attempts to get her love life, career, and living situation under control. But, the more she tries to conform to where she thinks she should be, the harder it is for her to get there. Can't a tall, busty, smart brunette get a break?
Clemency Pogue: Fairy Killer
by J. T. PettyOnly a child so quick-witted as Clemency Pogue, upon finding herself attacked by a wicked, invincible fairy, would remember a lesson learned from the story of Peter Pan. She shouts "I don't believe in fairies," and when it doesn't work, keeps shouting it until the horrible little creature drops as dead as a gossamer-winged doorknob. But then a mischievous hobgoblin arrives to tell Clem that she's killed six other fairies around the globe, some bad, but mostly good. Even if it was a mistake, it's now Clem's duty to set the world aright. In his hilarious, action-packed debut novel, JT Petty does for burlap pants what holes have done for Swiss cheese.
Clementine
by Sara PennypackerWhile sorting through difficulties with her friend Margaret, 8 year old Clementine gains several unique hairstyles, and helps her father banish pigeons from the front of their apartment building.
Clementine: And The Family Meeting (Clementine #1)
by Sara PennypackerThis New York Times bestselling chapter book series has been keeping readers engaged and laughing for more than a decade with over one million copies sold! Clementine is NOT having a good week. On Monday she's sent to the principal's office for cutting off Margaret's hair. On Tuesday, Margaret's mother is mad at her. On Wednesday, she's sent to the principal, again. On Thursday, Margaret stops speaking to her. Then Friday starts with yucky eggs and only gets worse. And by Saturday, even her mother is mad at her. Okay, fine. Clementine is having a DISASTROUS week. But maybe can she find a way to make it better.
Clementine and Danny Save the World (and Each Other)
by Livia BlackburneYou’ve Got Mail gets a fresh YA twist in this irresistible rom-com that spotlights the power of activism and community organizing in the face of gentrification, perfect for fans of Tweet Cute and Yes No Maybe So.Clementine Chan believes in the power of the written word. Under the pseudonym Hibiscus, she runs a popular blog reviewing tea shops and discussing larger issues within her Chinatown community. She has a loyal, kind following, save for this one sour grape named BobaBoy888.Danny Mok is allergic to change, and the gentrification seeping into Chinatown breaks his heart. He channels his frustration into his internet alter ego, BobaBoy888, bickering with local blogger Hibiscus over all things Chinatown and tea.When a major corporation reveals plans that threaten to shut down the Mok’s beloved tea shop, Clementine and Danny find themselves working together in real life to save this community they both love. But as they fall hard for this cause—and each other—they have no clue that their online personas have been fighting for years.When the truth comes to light, can Danny and Clementine still find their happily-ever-after?
Clementine and the Family Meeting (Clementine #5)
by Sara PennypackerThis New York Times bestselling chapter book series has been keeping readers engaged and laughing for more than a decade with over one million copies sold! Clementine's having a nervous breakdown. The FAMILY MEETING! sign is up in her house, and she just knows she's in trouble for something. Has she been too mean to her little brother? Too sloppy? Eating too much junk food? Try as she might to find out what's on the agenda, her parents won't reveal anything before the meeting. As far as Clementine is concerned, the agenda should be something like: "We're getting a gorilla." But no, it's something entirely different. "We're talking about a new baby," says her father. "A sibling for you two. What do you think about that?" NO THANKS! is what Clementine thinks. After all, four is the perfect number for a family. There are four sides to a table, not five. Will Clementine learn to make room for one more?
Clementine and the Family Meeting
by Sara Pennypacker Marla FrazeeClementine's having a nervous breakdown. The FAMILY MEETING! sign is up in her house, and she just knows she's in trouble for something. Has she been too mean to her little brother? Too sloppy? Eating too much junk food? Try as she might to find out what's on the agenda, her parents won't reveal anything before the meeting. As far as Clementine is concerned, the agenda should be something like: "We're getting a gorilla. " But no, it's something entirely different. "We're talking about a new baby," says her father. "A brother or sister for you two. What do you think about that?" NO THANKS! is what Clementine thinks. After all, four is the perfect number for a family. There are four sides to a table, not five. Will Clementine learn to make room for one more? Readers will chuckle at Clementine's unique perspective on the age-old issue of sibling rivalry.
Clementine and the Spring Trip (Clementine #6)
by Sara PennypackerThis New York Times bestselling chapter book series has been keeping readers engaged and laughing for more than a decade with over one million copies sold! For Clementine, Spring is a really big deal. Spring is for seeing her apple tree start to grow, for watching her friend Margaret go crazy with cleaning, and for going on the school trips, like this year's trip to Plimoth Plantation. Clementine is ready for Ye Olden Times, but she isn't so sure about surviving lunch there-the fourth graders have strict rules about no eating sounds. If that wasn't enough, Clementine also faces the challenges of learning Olive-language and surviving The Cloud on Bus 7. Hearing the pilgrim lady talk about why she made the long journey from England makes Clementine think about rules. Who makes them, and what do they mean to the people who have to live with them? Today Clementine has to decide which rules are made to be broken.
Clementine Classics: Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
by Clementine The HedgehogSometimes reading the classics is a chore, but not so with the snarky annotations by Clementine the Hedgehog. Having made her debut as a weekly book reviewer of note on Tumblr in 2012, Clem now takes on Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser. On each page, she inserts her keen insights, dark sense of humor, and cut-the-crap commentary, crafting a 21st-century literary criticism for distraction addicts everywhere. "This is obviously my favorite review to date, as it was WRITTEN BY A HEDGEHOG, and COMES WITH A HEDGEHOG GIF."-Emma Straub"Tumblr book review series of the year."-Rachel Fershleiser, head of Tumblr literary outreachClementine Classics, a new series from Black Balloon Publishing, gives classic works of literature the contemporary annotations they deserve. Obsessed, possessed, and thoroughly distressed by the originals, today's writers riff, rant, praise, and flay these old books, giving them new life. The series' beautifully designed e-books are both an act of sincere literary criticism and a new, composite form of humor writing.
Clementine Classics: Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
by Theodore Dreiser Clementine The HedgehogSometimes reading the classics is a chore, but not so with the snarky annotations by Clementine the Hedgehog. Having made her debut as a weekly book reviewer of note on Tumblr in 2012, Clem now takes on Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser. On each page, she inserts her keen insights, dark sense of humor, and cut-the-crap commentary, crafting a 21st-century literary criticism for distraction addicts everywhere. "This is obviously my favorite review to date, as it was WRITTEN BY A HEDGEHOG, and COMES WITH A HEDGEHOG GIF."-Emma Straub"Tumblr book review series of the year."-Rachel Fershleiser, head of Tumblr literary outreachClementine Classics, a new series from Black Balloon Publishing, gives classic works of literature the contemporary annotations they deserve. Obsessed, possessed, and thoroughly distressed by the originals, today's writers riff, rant, praise, and flay these old books, giving them new life. The series' beautifully designed e-books are both an act of sincere literary criticism and a new, composite form of humor writing.
The Clementine Complex
by Bob MortimerBob Mortimer, beloved comedian and #1 Sunday Times (London) bestselling author of the memoir And Away…, returns with a delightfully quirky mystery in the vein of Richard Osman and Nita Prose.Unremarkable legal assistant Gary Thorn goes for a pint with his coworker Brendan, unaware his life is about to change. There, Gary meets a beautiful woman, but she leaves before he catches her name. All he has to remember her by is the title of the book she was reading: The Clementine Complex. And when Brendan goes missing, too, Gary needs to track down the girl he now calls Clementine to get some answers. And so begins Gary&’s quest, through the estates and pie shops of South London, to find some answers and hopefully, some love and excitement in this page-turning, witty, and oddly sweet story with a cast of unforgettable characters.
Clementine Friend of the Week (Clementine #4)
by Sara PennypackerThis New York Times bestselling chapter book series has been keeping readers engaged and laughing for more than a decade with over one million copies sold! Clementine has been picked for Friend of the Week, which means she gets to be line leader, collect the milk money, and feed the fish. Even better, she'll get a Friend of the Week booklet, in which all the other third-grade kids will write why they like her. Clementine's best friend Margaret has all sorts of crazy ideas for how Clementine can prove to the class she is a good friend. Clementine has to get a great booklet, so she does everything Margaret says she should do. But what begins as one of the best weeks ever starts turning into the worst, and being a good friend might turn out harder than Clementine thinks.
Clementine, Friend of the Week
by Sara Pennypacker Marla FrazeeIt's Clementine's turn to be "Friend of the Week"! She gets to be line leader, collect the lunch money, and feed the fish. Even better, the other kids will make her a booklet, full of the things they value about having her in the class. After reading her friend Margaret's booklet, Clementine begins to get nervous and a little jealous --she has to get a great booklet now. Fortunately, she has a lot of astoundishing ideas for getting the kids to write great stuff about her. Unfortunately, just as she's working on the best one, something terrible happens to her beloved kitten Moisturizer. Worst of all, exactly when she needs a friend the most, Margaret lets her down. Or does she. . . ?
Clementine's Letter (Clementine #3)
by Sara PennypackerThis New York Times bestselling chapter book series has been keeping readers engaged and laughing for more than a decade with over one million copies sold! Clementine can't believe her ears: her beloved teacher, Mr. D'Matz, might be leaving them for the rest of the year to go on a research trip to Egypt! No other teacher has ever understood her impulsiveness, her itch to draw constantly, or her need to play "Beat the Clock" when the day feels too long. And in his place, he's left a substitute with a whole new set of rules that Clementine just can't figure out. The only solution, she decides, is to hatch a plan to get Mr. D'Matz back. Even if it means ruining her Mr. D'Matz's once-in-a-lifetime chance, it's worth it -- isn't it?
Clementine's Letter (Clementine #3)
by Sara PennypackerThis New York Times bestselling chapter book series has been keeping readers engaged and laughing for more than a decade with over one million copies sold! Clementine can't believe her ears: her beloved teacher, Mr. D'Matz, might be leaving them for the rest of the year to go on a research trip to Egypt! No other teacher has ever understood her impulsiveness, her itch to draw constantly, or her need to play "Beat the Clock" when the day feels too long. And in his place, he's left a substitute with a whole new set of rules that Clementine just can't figure out. The only solution, she decides, is to hatch a plan to get Mr. D'Matz back. Even if it means ruining her Mr. D'Matz's once-in-a-lifetime chance, it's worth it -- isn't it?
A Clergyman's Daughter (Penguin Modern Classics Ser.)
by George OrwellA pious young woman grapples with a loss of memory—and of faith—in this sharp, witty novel by the author of 1984 and Animal Farm. Dorothy is the daughter of the Reverend Charles Hare, rector of St. Athelstan&’s in Depression-era Suffolk, England. She serves as a dutiful housekeeper, performs good works, cultivates good thoughts—and pricks her arm with a pin when a bad thought arises. But even as she toils away making costumes for the church school play, she is haunted by thoughts about the poverty that surrounds her and the debts she can&’t afford to pay. Then, suddenly, she finds herself in London. She is wearing silk stockings, has money in her pocket, and cannot remember her own name . . . This novel of a woman thrust into a strange journey, struck by amnesia and grappling with questions of faith and identity in a world of unemployment and hunger, is a masterful work of satire by one of the great writers of the twentieth century.
The Clever Cat Mysteries Boxset Books One to Five (Cat Noir)
by Alison O’LearyFive mystery novels in one volume: Follow the adventures of Aubrey the jaded tabby cat as he eats, sleeps, and sniffs out two-legged predators . . . He may be a pampered house pet now, but he still knows his way around the streets—and in these five sharp-witted novels, Aubrey the cat recounts his crime-solving exploits. Includes:Street Cat Blues Finally freed from the rescue centre and settled in his forever home with Molly and Jeremy, Aubrey considers everyone a potential suspect when an elderly neighbour gets put down.Country Cat Blues When Aubrey moves to the village of Fallowfield with his family, he&’s keen to explore the English countryside. But a murder shatters the idyllic peace, and Aubrey isn&’t happy when an eccentric local is accused. After all, he&’s been a good friend to the local felines . . .Beach Cat Blues Cats can smell trouble a mile away. So Aubrey and his friend Vincent know something sinister is happening at the care home where they&’ve been serving as part of a visiting-pet program . . .Summer Cat Blues Aubrey and Vincent are enjoying a short break at a family estate that&’s just been converted into a luxury hotel and spa. That is, until a body is found floating in the pool—then it&’s time to get to work.Christmas Cat Blues When an annual charity dinner becomes a murder scene, Aubrey the cat donates his sleuthing services . . .