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A History of Heavy Metal: 'Absolutely hilarious' – Neil Gaiman
by Andrew O'Neill'Absolutely hilarious' - Neil Gaiman'One of the funniest musical commentators that you will ever read . . . loud and thoroughly engrossing' - Alan Moore'Relentlessly energetic and frequently hilarious' - The Herald'A man on a righteous mission to persuade people to "lay down your souls to the gods rock and roll"' - The Sunday Times'A love letter to Heavy Metal' - BBC RADIO 4 'As funny and preposterous as this mighty music deserve' - John HiggsThe history of heavy metal brings brings us extraordinary stories of larger-than-life characters living to excess, from the household names of Ozzy Osbourne, Lemmy, Bruce Dickinson and Metallica (SIT DOWN, LARS!), to the brutal notoriety of the underground Norwegian black metal scene and the New Wave Of British Heavy Metal. It is the story of a worldwide network of rabid fans escaping everyday mundanity through music, of cut-throat corporate arseholes ripping off those fans and the bands they worship to line their pockets. The expansive pantheon of heavy metal musicians includes junkies, Satanists and murderers, born-again Christians and teetotallers, stadium-touring billionaires and toilet-circuit journeymen. Award-winning comedian and life-long heavy metal obsessive Andrew O'Neill has performed his History of Heavy Metal comedy show to a huge range of audiences, from the teenage metalheads of Download festival to the broadsheet-reading theatre-goers of the Edinburgh Fringe. Now, in his first book, he takes us on his own very personal and hilarious journey through the history of the music, the subculture, and the characters who shaped this most misunderstood genre of music.
A History of New-York from the Beginning of the World to the End of the Dutch Dyna
by Washington IrvingA sly satire on self-important local history that brought ''Knickerbocker'' into the American lexicon.
A History of Scottish Football in 100 Objects: The Alternative Football Museum
by Andy BollenThe comedy writer&’s collection of &“artifacts dedicated to controversial, silly and bonkers mishaps . . . [a] tribute to an alternative football history&” (Daily Record). Andy Bollen has created a fantasy football museum to collect together a treasure trove of Scottish football exhibits that ranges from Jimmy Johnstone&’s oar to Aggie the tea lady&’s trolley. Learn why Puskás and Socrates should&’ve been Scottish, the versatility of the pie and Napoleon&’s links to Bovril and explore all the wonders of the game north of the Border—from Arthur Montford to the phone-in, Think Tanks, Buckfast, vanishing cream for referees, Twitter, VAR technology and flares (pyrotechnics, not 1970s attire). These exhibits distill the beauty of Scottish football into an entertaining volume that will make the perfect gift for any fan. Taking a satirical swipe at the beautifully flawed game, A History of Scottish Football in 100 Objects covers the mayhem, mavericks and bric-a-brac from the magic sponge, to the pie, hair weaves to tattoos. Bollen is the perfect curator: impeccably informed, passionate and insightful. &“It&’s not Hampden Babylon, but it&’s very funny.&” —Stuart Cosgrove, author of Hampden Babylon
A History of Underwear with Professor Chicken
by Hannah HoltPacked with information, hilariously but accurately (well...except for the chickens) illustrated, Hannah Holt and Korwin Briggs' A History of Underwear with Professor Chicken is sure to wedge its way into the annals of history-based picture books.From Paleolithic loincloths to Henry VIII's wives wearing underwear on their heads to Mary Walker, a civil war surgeon who was arrested for wearing men's underwear and clothing to better work on patients, this book surveys the vast and fascinating history of our most private clothing.Modeled by chickens, we trace the history of underwear from the very first discovery- a paleolithic nomad whose body was found completely preserved in ice. From there, we look across time and culture in this completely accessible, new take on boring old nonfiction picture books.
A History of Weapons: Crossbows, Caltrops, Catapults & Lots of Other Things that Can Seriously Mess You Up
by John O'Bryan“[A] menacingly illustrated book . . . nerdily gushes over the design and use of 130+ historical instruments of combat.” —ThrillistOne day a prehistoric guy picked up a rock and threw it at something. And the history of weapons began. Comedy writer and weapon nerd John O’Bryan relays the freaky highlights of man’s centuries-old obsession with weaponry. He hilariously explains the mace, the morning star, and the man catcher, while conveying factual information about each weapon: its history, uses, and badass potential. Looking through history’s highlights, readers will learn about Attila the Hun, Genghis Khan, and the “peaceful” Shaolin monks. This ultimate compendium of awesome weapons delivers all the surprisingly true details sure to impress anybody who’s ever made a gun with their fingers and said, “PEW-PEW-PEW!”“[A] comic breakdown of weaponry.” —Lost in a Supermarket
A History of the World Through Body Parts: The Stories Behind the Organs, Appendages, Digits, and the Like Attached to (or Detached from) Famous Bodies
by Ross Petras Kathy PetrasA grab bag of historic spleens, chins, and more, this is your ultimate literary dissection of body parts throughout history!From famous craniums to prominent breasts, ancient spleens and bound feet, this book will bring history to life in a whole new way. With their inimitable wit and probing intelligence, authors Kathy and Ross Petras look at the role the human body has played throughout history as each individual part becomes a jumping-off point for a wider look at the times. In far-ranging, quirky-yet-interrelated stories, learn about Charles II of Spain's jaw and the repercussions of inbreeding, what Anne Boleyn's heart says about the Crusades and the trend of dispersed burials, and what can be learned about the Aztecs through Moctezuma's pierced lip. A History of the World Through Body Parts is packed with fascinating little-known historical facts and anecdotes that will entertain, enlighten, and delight even the most well-read history buff.BESTSELLING AUTHORS: Kathy and Ross Petras have authored the New York Times bestseller You're Saying It Wrong and the hit calendar The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said, now in its 24th year with over 4.8 million copies sold!ENGAGING CONTENT: Packed with rich material told with a lively and humorous voice, take a trip through history in this unique, exciting way.QUIRKY HISTORY FANS REJOICE!: For fans of The Disappearing Spoon, Wicked Plants, The Violinist's Thumb, The Sawbones Book and Strange Histories!Perfect for:• History buffs and pop history fans• Father's Day, birthday, and holiday shoppers
A Holiday to Remember
by Helen R. MyersAlana Anders had lost enough in life to recognize a kindred soul. So when fate led her to a lonely cowboy-with a battle-scarred heart to match her own-she should have given him a nod and moved on. Because the holidays were upon her...and the last thing she needed was someone else's problems....But what she wanted was another story. And she wanted Mack Graves, reluctant war hero and heir to the Last Call Ranch-badly. She knew that Nowheresville, Texas, was the last place he longed to be-at Christmas, no less!-but Alana just knew that she and Mack were meant to be together. And that in each other's arms they could forge a new kind of home....
A Holly Jolly Diwali
by Sonya LalliOne type-A data analyst discovers her free-spirited side on an impulsive journey from bustling Mumbai to the gorgeous beaches of Goa and finds love waiting for her on Christmas morning. Twenty-nine-year-old Niki Randhawa has always made practical decisions. Despite her love for music and art, she became an analyst for the stability. She's always stuck close to home, in case her family needed her. And she's always dated guys that seem good on paper, rather than the ones who give her butterflies. When she's laid off, Niki realizes that practical hasn't exactly paid off for her. So for the first time ever, she throws caution to the wind and books a last-minute flight for her friend Diya&’s wedding. Niki arrives in India just in time to celebrate Diwali, the festival of lights, where she meets London musician Sameer Mukherji. Maybe it's the splendor of Mumbai or the magic of the holiday season, but Niki is immediately drawn to Sam. At the wedding, the champagne flows and their flirtatious banter makes it clear that the attraction is mutual. When Niki and Sam join Diya, her husband and their friends on a group honeymoon, their connection grows deeper. Free-spirited Sam helps Niki get in touch with her passionate and creative side, and with her Indian roots. When she gets a new job offer back home, Niki must decide what she wants out of the next chapter of her life—to cling to the straight and narrow like always, or to take a leap of faith and live the kind of bold life the old Niki never would have dreamed of.
A Holly Jolly Ever After: A Christmas Notch Novel (A Christmas Notch)
by Julie Murphy Sierra SimoneAn actress and a perpetually single former boy-band member are reunited as costars on a steamy holiday film in this all new spicy rom-com by Julie Murphy and Sierra Simone, bestselling coauthors of A Merry Little Meet Cute.Kallum Lieberman is the funny one™. As the arguably lesser of the three former members of the boy band INK, he enjoyed his fifteen minutes of fame and then moved home where he opened a regional pizza chain called Slice, Slice, Baby! He’s living his best dad bod life, hooking up with bridesmaids at all his friends’ weddings. But after an old one-off sex tape is leaked and quickly goes viral, Kallum decides he’s ready to step into the spotlight again, starring in a sexy Santa biopic for the Hope Channel. Winnie Baker did everything right. She married her childhood sweetheart, avoided the downfalls of adolescent stardom, and transitioned into a stable adult acting career. Hell, she even waited until marriage to have sex. But after her perfect life falls apart, Winnie is ready to redefine herself—and what better way than a steamier-than-a-steaming-hot-mug-of-cider Christmas movie?With decade old Hollywood history between them, Winnie and Kallum are both feeling hesitant about their new situation as costars…especially Winnie who can’t seem to fake on screen pleasure she’s never experienced in real life. She’s willing to do the pleasure research—for science and artistic authenticity, of course. And there’s no better research partner than her bridesmaid sex tape hall of fame costar, Kallum. But suddenly, Kallum’s teenage crush on Winnie is bubbling to the surface and Winnie might be catching feelings herself. They say opposites attract, but is this holly jolly ever after really ready for its close-up?
A Home By The Sea (Summer Island)
by Christina Skye“A delightful story about healing, forgiveness and love all neatly wrapped up in a ball of yarn”—featuring the friends from The Accidental Bride (Debbie Macomber, #1 New York Times–bestselling author).Grace Lindstrom has followed her fiancé across three continents, starry-eyed and full of dreams. But when he dies in a plane crash, Grace discovers that their life together was the cruelest kind of lie—and swears to never lose herself to that kind of love again. Until one night, when a chance encounter leads her to the kind of man she’s always dreamed of—and the deep family ties she’s never known.Noah McKay knows he can’t offer Grace any kind of future—not when he spends every day putting his life on the line. But when Grace’s grandfather suddenly falls ill and she’s called home to the small island town where she grew up, he realizes he can’t live without her. Aided by good knitting, good chocolate and deep friendship, Grace is slowly learning to trust again—but can she learn to love a man whose secrets run so deep?“Skye manages to keep her complicated plots clicking along like busy knitting needles, with promises of more to come.” —Publishers Weekly
A Home for the Holidays
by Emilie RichardsNew to e-book, a classic romance from USA Today bestselling author Emilie Richards…Chloe Palmer knows about Christmas wishes—too many of hers didn’t come true as a young orphan. Now, as an orphanage director, her mission is not to disappoint any of the children in her charge. When Egan O’Brien arrives to do repair work at the facility, the guard she’s kept up for so many years begins to crumble—until he offers to play Santa Claus for the kids. What if it doesn’t work out? He tells her he’ll make all her wishes come true. He’s made so many miracles happen already—can he rebuild her sense of Christmas spirit…and her belief in love? Originally published in 1993 under the title Naughty or Nice, in the anthology 1993 Silhouette Christmas Stories
A Hopeless Romantic: A Novel
by Harriet EvansFrom the bestselling author of Going Home, which Sophie Kinsella hailed as “fabulous,” comes a novel sure to touch and delight anyone who believes in love.Laura Foster is a hopeless romantic. Her friends know it, her parents know it—even Laura acknowledges she lives either with her head in the clouds or buried in a romance novel. It’s proved harmless enough, even if it hasn’t delivered her a real-life dashing hero yet. But when her latest relationship ends in a disaster that costs her friendships, her job, and nearly her sanity, Laura swears off men and hopeless romantic fantasies for good. With her life in tatters around her, Laura agrees to go on vacation with her parents. After a few days of visiting craft shops and touring the stately homes of England, Laura is ready to tear her hair out. And then, while visiting grand Chartley Hall, she crosses paths with Nick, the sexy, rugged estate manager. She finds she shares more than a sense of humor with him—in fact, she starts to think she could fall for him. But is Nick all he seems? Or has Laura got it wrong again? Will she open her heart only to have it broken again?
A Horse Called Dora: Book 2 (Knight in Training #2)
by Vivian FrenchA funny, exciting series for younger readers, by the bestselling Vivian French and David Melling.Sam J. Butterbiggins' only ambition is to be a Very Noble Knight, but he has a problem - he's been packed off to the castle next door to stay with his aunt, uncle and annoying cousin Prune while his parents are away. But Sam's discovered an ancient scroll listing the six quests to be completed in order to become a knight, and he's already completed the first one! Now he's found his True Companion (Prune), next on the list is to track down a Snow White Steed. But when Aunt Egg orders Sam and Prune to journey to Weasel's Hill to deliver Horace the warthog back to his owner, it looks like the young knight-in-training looks will have to put his quest on hold. Or will he ...?
A Horse Walks Into a Bar: A novel
by David Grossman Jessica Cohen<P>The award-winning and internationally acclaimed author of the To the End of the Land now gives us a searing short novel about the life of a stand-up comic, as revealed in the course of one evening’s performance. <P>In the dance between comic and audience, with barbs flying back and forth, a deeper story begins to take shape—one that will alter the lives of many of those in attendance.In a little dive in a small Israeli city, Dov Greenstein, a comedian a bit past his prime, is doing a night of stand-up. <P>In the audience is a district court justice, Avishai Lazar, whom Dov knew as a boy, along with a few others who remember Dov as an awkward, scrawny kid who walked on his hands to confound the neighborhood bullies. <P>Gradually, as it teeters between hilarity and hysteria, Dov’s patter becomes a kind of memoir, taking us back into the terrors of his childhood: we meet his beautiful flower of a mother, a Holocaust survivor in need of constant monitoring, and his punishing father, a striver who had little understanding of his creative son. <P>Finally, recalling his week at a military camp for youth—where Lazar witnessed what would become the central event of Dov’s childhood—Dov describes the indescribable while Lazar wrestles with his own part in the comedian’s story of loss and survival. <P>Continuing his investigations into how people confront life’s capricious battering, and how art may blossom from it, Grossman delivers a stunning performance in this memorable one-night engagement (jokes in questionable taste included). <P><b>Winner of the 2017 Man Booker International Prize</b>
A House Called Awful End (Eddie Dickens Trilogy #1)
by Philip ArdaghThe first book in a hilarious, action-packed trilogy. Eddie Dickens is sent off to stay with his aunt and uncle and a riotously funny comedy of errors ensues. When both Eddie Dickens's parents catch a disease that makes them turn yellow, go a bit crinkly around the edges, and smell of hot water bottles, it's agreed he should go and stay with relatives at their house, Awful End. Unfortunately for Eddie, those relatives are Mad Uncle Jack and Even-Madder Aunt Maud. . . . This hilarious historical spoof, the first in the Eddie Dickens trilogy, has been called "a scrumptious cross between Dickens and Monty Python. "
A House Divided (The Misadventures of Willie Plummett #20)
by Paul Buchanan Rod RandallWhen Willie's dad buys a second hobby store, hectic schedules and lots of work keep the family from spending time together. No matter how Mr. Plummet tries to save time, he ends up staying at the new store more and more. There's only one solution. But it could divide this household. Willie learns that--growing up means putting others first. And he realizes that Jesus is always with him. Willie and his friends get into plenty of very funny situations as they get through the end of elementary school and move on to middle school. At the same time Willie's Christian family and church help him puzzle out the right thing to do, most of the time. There are twenty books in the adventures of Willie Plummet series and Bookshare is working on getting them all. In the meantime, for starters, check out #9 Hail to the Chump and #19 Lock-In. Reading level. Grade 6 Interest level: Ages 8-11
A House for Every Bird
by Megan MaynorA young artist's drawings rebel against her when she tries to put her sketched birds in houses that match how they look, but not how they feel in this hilarious picture book perfect for readers of Julian is a Mermaid and The Big Orange Splot.A young artist has drawn birds and bird houses in corresponding colors. Now it's time to match them up. The blue bird goes in the blue house, the orange bird in the orange house, and so on. But wait! The birds don't agree with the narrator's choices and, much to her distress, are rebelling by swapping houses. Can the narrator make the birds see sense? Or is it possible that you just can't tell a bird by its feathers?"This bighearted picture book delivers a worthwhile message with humor and great respect for young readers."--The Horn Book"A fresh and funny take on an old moral."--Kirkus"Both Maynor&’s dialogue text and Juanita&’s digital art have a loose, improvisational feel that captures the thrill and frustration of a work in progress—and the value of empathy and flexibility in getting to know others."--Publishers Weekly"Use this to open a discussion on using words rather than assumptions, or as an introduction to the way art can go in unexpected directions."--The Bulletin
A Human at the Hotel (Hotel Transylvania: The Series)
by Cala SpinnerThere’s a human at the monster hotel in this hilarious novel based on the first episode of the hit Disney Channel show Hotel Transylvania: The Series.Count Dracula’s daughter, Mavis, is a lot like any other teenager: She wants to be taken seriously! So when her father has to leave Hotel Transylvania—the monsters-only hotel he built as a safe haven free of humans—Mavis thinks it’s her big chance to prove to him that she can run the hotel all by herself. How hard can it be? Unfortunately for Mavis, Drac calls his sister, Mavis’s Aunt Lydia, to watch over Mavis and the hotel while he’s gone. Worse, Mavis mistakenly lures a human to the hotel. Can Mavis get the human to leave before Aunt Lydia finds out? ™ & © 2018 Sony Pictures Animation Inc. All Rights Reserved.
A Husband Waiting to Happen
by Marie FerrarellaFAMILIES ARE FOREVERALL THE GOOD ONES WERE TAKEN...Since high school, Caroline Masters' heart had belonged to just one man: Sloan Walters. But Sloan had already pledged his love to another, so Caroline left town, vowing never to reveal her secret feelings.Now, twelve years had passed. Sloan was raising his two rambunctious boys alone when fate brought him and Caroline together again. Time had changed a lot of things-including the way Sloan looked at her. Caroline could barely believe it. Could she turn the man of her dreams into the husband of a lifetime?Happily ever after...with kids!
A Husband of Convenience
by Jacqueline BairdA father for her unborn baby...Josie's husband, Conan Zarcourt, was tall, dark and handsome. Yet Josie could only look, not touch, because theirs was a marriage in name alone. Conan had stepped in as father to his brother's child-the baby Josie was carrying.But when an accident left Josie with amnesia she naturally assumed that Conan was her husband, her lover and the father of her baby. And until she remembered the truth, Conan was more than happy to have Josie in his bed....
A Husband's Price
by Diana HamiltonThe betrayalSix years ago, Claudia believed Adam betrayed her love, and she'd ended their passionate affair little knowing that she was expecting his baby.The marriageNow, Claudia is on the verge of bankruptcy and desperately needs Adam's help. Adam agrees-but for a price. He wants Claudia back in his life...as his wife. Marriage to the man who broke her heart seems almost too much to bear, but, for the sake of their little daughter, it's a price she can't refuse to pay....
A Husband's Revenge
by Lee WilkinsonForgotten husband!After waking up in a hospital bed, Clare couldn't even remember her own name, let alone who she was married to! When Jos introduced himself as her husband, he was a complete stranger to her....Clare couldn't deny the sparks of sexual attraction between her and Jos, but she sensed a deeper bond between them. Was it simply the love between man and wife-or something dark and dangerous? Clare was about to find out if Jos really wanted a reunion, or revenge....
A Is for Awful: A Grumpy Cat ABC Book (Little Golden Book)
by Christy WebsterGrumpy Cat has 8 million Facebook followers, her own TV movie, and now . . . a Little Golden Book! The world-famous feline stars in this hilarious storybook.
A Jerk, a Jihad, and a Virus: A Novel
by Gary F. JonesVeterinary virologist Jason Mitchell can't keep his mouth shut, can't lie convincingly, and can't follow orders. He's an unlikely candidate to help the CIA locate and destroy a deadly hybrid virus stolen from Jason's lab at the University of Minnesota. From Washington to Djibouti, From Minneapolis to Yemen, Marines cringe, Senators turn livid, and CIA agents shudder as Jason struggles to prevent the virus from becoming a biological weapon in the hands of jihadists. Jason and Ann Hartman, veterinarians, lovers, and graduate students, conduct a study of BCV in calves, a common virus that causes diarrhea in cattle. A recently arrived Chinese student accidentally exposes the calves to the SARS virus, a close relative of BCV. The calves and the Chinese student develop a severe and puzzling pneumonia. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) isolates a hybrid BCV-SARS virus from the Chinese student and the calves. The FBI is notified of the new and dangerous virus. Ahmed, more con man than graduate student, discovers samples of Jason's that contain the virus. He steals them and flees to Yemen where he pretends to be a devout Muslim to get funding from a jihadist group. The jihadists believe the virus will be valuable as a biological weapon and as bait to lure the CIA into military action that will kill innocent civilians and increase hatred of the US. Jason and an unconventional CIA agent redefine "thinking outside the box" as they con Ahmed, dodge bullets, and thwart the jihadists.
A Jingle Bell Mingle: A Novel (Christmas Notch #3)
by Julie Murphy Sierra SimoneFrom #1 New York Times bestselling author Julie Murphy and USA Today bestselling author Sierra Simone who gave us A Merry Little Meet Cute comes a new holiday rom-com—’tis the season for second chances!What happens when there’s no room at the inn and you and your potentially demonic cat become roommates with your grumpy one-night stand?Part-time adult film actress/one-time adult film director/makeup artist Sunny Palmer has accidentally sold her very first screenplay to the Hope Channel. That was six months ago. Fast forward to a looming deadline, an uninspired Sunny has returned to the source of her inspiration in Christmas Notch, Vermont, to immerse herself in the local Christmas miracle on which her fever dream of a movie pitch was based.Isaac Kelly, former boy band heartthrob and the saddest boy in the music biz, is the latest owner of the town’s historic mansion. After his years of heartbreak following his young wife’s death, Isaac’s record label is done waiting for new music. What better place to attempt his first holiday album than a snow-covered mansion where he can become a hermit in peace?But after their best friends’ wedding leads to them waking up together in a freezing motel room with questionable wiring and a broken shower, Isaac takes a chance and asks Sunny to stay with him at his home. Surely the place is big enough that he’ll hardly see her or her unhinged cat. But when the two discover they’re both creatively blocked, they make a handshake deal: Isaac will help Sunny hunt down the truth behind the local lore, and Sunny will find Isaac a new muse.And with these two opposites under one roof, there’s no way this jingle bell mingle could go off script…right?