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Don't Be a D*ck: A Self-Help Guide to Being F*cking Awesome
by Joseph DeweyWe’re not implying anything but…It’s time for a bit of no-nonsense advice in the form of some choice expletive-laden life lessons. This small but f*cking mighty tome is just the tonic to set you on the path to being an awesome human, and will teach YOU how not to be a D*CK.
Don't Believe the Hype: 'An addictive, glorious romp' Clare Pooley
by Natalie Lewis'An addictive, glorious romp . . . Don't Believe the Hype feels like spending time with your funniest, most gossipy, best dressed friend' Clare PooleyThe world of fashion is supposed to be glamorous . . . isn't it?Meet Frankie Marks: the world's least likely fashion PR. She got the job by fluke, she doesn't know the first thing about designers, she's always hungry, and she struggles to think before she speaks. When Frankie crash-lands in the prestigious GGC agency, her friends and family can't believe it - least of all her long-term (and long-suffering) boyfriend, James.Frankie quickly realises she needs to use everything she's got to survive life behind the scenes of this glamorous and chaotic industry - with its eccentric characters, towering expectations, and quite frankly ridiculous requests. But first, she needs to learn the difference between velour and velvet . . .As the pressure builds and Frankie's personal life begins to take the hit, she starts to wonder if she'll ever manage to escape the strange world of fashion unscathed. And, for that matter, does she even want to?
Don't Believe the Hype: 'An addictive, glorious romp' Clare Pooley
by Natalie Lewis'An addictive, glorious romp' Clare Pooley'Lifts the lid on the mad world of fashion' Anya Hindmarch'Hilarious. The season's must have' Minnie Driver***The world of fashion is supposed to be glamorous . . . isn't it?Meet Frankie Marks: the world's least likely fashion PR. She got the job by fluke, she doesn't know the first thing about designers, she's always hungry, and she struggles to think before she speaks. When Frankie crash-lands in the prestigious GGC agency, her friends and family can't believe it - least of all her long-term (and long-suffering) boyfriend, James.Frankie quickly realises she needs to use everything she's got to survive life behind the scenes of this glamorous and chaotic industry - with its eccentric characters, towering expectations, and quite frankly ridiculous requests. But first, she needs to learn the difference between velour and velvet . . .As the pressure builds and Frankie's personal life begins to take the hit, she starts to wonder if she'll ever manage to escape the strange world of fashion unscathed. And, quite frankly, does she even want to?*** Readers love DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE!'Deliciously addictive' ***** Reader Review'Hilarious' ***** Reader Review'Laugh-out-loud funny' ***** Reader Review'Extremely entertaining' ***** Reader Review'Juicy' ***** Reader Review
Don't Believe the Hype: An addictive summer read for fans of THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA!
by Natalie LewisThe world of fashion is supposed to be glamorous . . . isn't it?Meet Frankie Marks: the world's least likely fashion PR. She doesn't know the first thing about designers, she's always hungry, and she can't learn to think before she speaks. When Frankie lands a job at the prestigious GGC agency, her friends and family can't believe it - least of all her long-suffering boyfriend James. Frankie quickly realises she must fight with everything she's got to survive life behind the scenes of the glamorous and chaotic industry - with its eccentric characters, towering expectations, and quite frankly ridiculous requests. As the pressure builds and Frankie's personal life is in jeopardy, will she manage to escape the strange world of fashion unscathed? And for that matter, will she even want to?(P) 2023 Hodder & Stoughton Limited
Don't Bend Over in the Garden, Granny, You Know Them Taters Got Eyes
by Lewis GrizzardThis time Lewis Grizzard has gone and done it--written a book about sex, as seen through his bespectacled, ironic squint. He tells us why Junior Leaguers don't do it in groups, why Baptists won't do it standing up, and why Richard Nixon never did it, among other things. Other books by this author are available in this library.
Don't Blink!
by Amy Krouse RosenthalThis interactive book may seem to be on your side, reluctant sleeper -- but it's truly a bedtime book in disguise! New from New York Times bestselling author and illustrator Amy Krouse Rosenthal and David Roberts!Here's how it works: if you can avoid getting to the end of this book, you can avoid bedtime, simple as that. (It's a pretty sweet deal, actually.) But each time you blink, you have to turn a page. Those are just the rules. So whatever you do, DON'T BLINK!From New York Times bestselling author and illustrator Amy Krouse Rosenthal and David Roberts comes a playful, super-duper interactive bedtime story, narrated by a cheeky stuffed owl. Kids love a challenge, and you can bet they'll do their darndest to rise to the one set out in Don't Blink!...especially when bedtime is on the line!
Don't Blow Your Top!
by Ame DyckmanEverybody gets angry sometimes, even a little volcano. But with some rock-steady advice, Little Volcano finds a way to process their steamy emotions.Spend a day in paradise with Little Volcano and Big Volcano. Everything is beautiful and calm until an out-of-control bird drops a coconut on Little Volcano's crater. Will Little Volcano blow their top? Can Big Volcano help? Don't Blow Your Top! is a hysterical and explosive read-aloud story that will have kids of all ages erupting with laughter as Little Volcano and Big Volcano try to deal with their anger and go with the flow. The book features some tips for kids and volcanoes of all ages to help them navigate their fiery emotions and learn to be cool when things get a little out of control.
Don't Bump the Glump!
by Shel SilversteinIt's a zoo in here!Have you ever . . .Seen a Gritchen in your kitchen?Dared to dance with the One-Legged Zantz?Declined to dine with the Glub-Toothed Sline? You haven't? Well then, step inside—but only if you are ready to be amazed, tickled, astonished, and entertained by this most unusual bestiary of silly and scary creatures.Shel Silverstein combined his unique imagination and bold brand of humor for his first poetry collection—the only one he illustrated in full color. Now celebrating fifty years, Don't Bump the Glump! and Other Fantasies was originally published in 1964, the same year as his most famous picture book, The Giving Tree.
Don't Call Me Bear!
by Aaron BlabeyKoala is NOT a bear! (Or is he?) Find out why Koala is so mad in this new, irresistibly funny picture book from Aaron Blabey, the bestselling creator of Pig the Pug!"G'day, my name is Warren and I've got something to share... Just because I'm furry DOESN'T MEAN THAT I'M A BEAR."Koala is sick of being called the wrong thing. Koalas are NOT bears, and it is time that everyone knows it! Follow this feisty little koala as he explains why he is certainly NOT a bear (and why no one ever seems to believe him).Rich with author-illustrator Aaron Blabey's hysterical text and unforgettably wacky illustrations -- plus nonfiction facts woven throughout -- Don't Call Me Bear! is a hilarious story about making sure everyone knows exactly who you are!
Don't Call Me Cupcake (The Holloway Girls #1)
by Tara SheetsThere’s a very special kind of sweetness to life on Pine Cove Island . . . Most families have a favorite recipe or two, handed down through generations. The Holloway women are a little different. Emma Holloway, like her grandmother before her, bakes wishes into her delicious cupcakes, granting the recipient comfort, sweet dreams, or any number of good things. It’s a strange gift, but it brings only happiness. Until gorgeous, smooth-talking newcomer Hunter Kane strolls into her shop, Fairy Cakes—and Emma makes the mistake of selling him not one, but three Sweet Success cupcakes. Hunter, it turns out, is opening a fancy new restaurant and bakery right on the waterfront—Emma’s competition. To make matters worse, the town committee has decided to split the upcoming summer festival contract between the two, forcing Emma to work with her nemesis. But she can’t afford to split her profits. The solution: create a recipe that will make Hunter leave town permanently. The Holloway charms are powerful. But there are other kinds of magic in the world—like red-hot first kisses, secret glances, and the feeling that comes with falling truly, madly, inconveniently in love . . .
Don't Call Me Grumpycorn
by Sarah McIntyreUnicorn is back... and he's still grumpy!Unicorn, Narwhal, Mermaid, and Jellyfish are ready for an adventure, and, as Unicorn quite rightly points out, nothing is more adventurous than travelling into SPACE.But when the four friends disagree over which planet to visit first, Unicorn most definitely turns into a very grumpy Grumpycorn and decides to go off on his own.Will Unicorn see the error of his ways?Will he realize that friendship is what makes everything fun?Will he finally stop being such a Grumpycorn?There's only one way to find out...The follow-up to Sarah McIntyre's bestselling Grumpycorn is an imaginative romp celebrating friendship!
Don't Call Me Ishmael
by Michael Gerard BauerBy the time ninth grade begins, Ishmael Leseur knows it won't be long before Barry Bagsley, the class bully, says, "Ishmael? What kind of wussy-crap name is that?" Ishmael's perfected the art of making himself virtually invisible. But all that changes when James Scobie joins the class. Unlike Ishmael, James has no sense of fear--he claims it was removed during an operation. Now nothing will stop James and Ishmael from taking on bullies, bugs, and Moby Dick, in the toughest, weirdest, most embarrassingly awful . . . and the best year of their lives.
Don't Chicken Out
by Shawn K. Stout Victoria YingIn addition to ballet, Fiona Finkelstein is out to prove she has other talents. It's a flat-out fact that the world needs more love, and Fiona is just the person to make some excellent romantic matches--or so she thinks. Fiona sets out to start a club with her friends and classmates to pair up pals and even teachers...but in the end, learns that she is much better at match-BREAKING.
Don't Chicken Out
by Shawn K. Stout Victoria YingIn addition to ballet, Fiona Finkelstein is out to prove she has other talents. It's a flat-out fact that the world needs more love, and Fiona is just the person to make some excellent romantic matches--or so she thinks. Fiona sets out to start a club with her friends and classmates to pair up pals and even teachers...but in the end, learns that she is much better at match-BREAKING.
Don't Close Your Eyes (Stallion Pass: Texas Knights #4)
by Sara OrwigDANGER IN THE DARKIsabella Devlin's life turned inside out the nightshe encountered a stranger breaking into herhouse. Everyone thought Colin Garrick was dead.Yet there he was—living, breathing sexy proof thathe was still very much alive—and willing to sharehis secrets with her. But those secrets might justget her killed….Colin had come back to Stallion Pass with amission…and a warning. But he'd never imaginedan all-grown-up Isabella would get caught in themiddle of this deadly game of cat and mouse.Colin knew he shouldn't put Isabella at risk, butthe passion she inspired threatened to put him inan entirely different sort of danger.
Don't Cook Cinderella
by Francesca SimonIt's just an ordinary day at Mother Goose's Academy. There's Miss Good Fairy teaching the Three Little Pigs, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel and Little Red Riding Hood to read and write - while Miss Bad Fairy is inciting the Ugly Sisters, the Big Bad Wolf, Troll, Wicked Stepmother, Wicked Witch and Jealous Queen to gobble them all up. The result? Chaos!Witty, fast-paced and anarchic, this is a complete story with ten short chapters ('C.A.T. Spells Dog', 'What Troll Learned', 'Snakes and Snails for Lunch') that take us through the school day. Originally published as Big Class, Little Class, this freshly illustrated reissue brings Francesca Simon and Tony Ross together again in a wonderful romp that Horrid Henry fans will revel in.
Don't Cook Cinderella
by Francesca SimonIt's just an ordinary day at Mother Goose's Academy. There's Miss Good Fairy teaching the Three Little Pigs, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel and Little Red Riding Hood to read and write - while Miss Bad Fairy is inciting the Ugly Sisters, the Big Bad Wolf, Troll, Wicked Stepmother, Wicked Witch and Jealous Queen to gobble them all up. The result? Chaos!Witty, fast-paced and anarchic, this is a complete story with ten short chapters ('C.A.T. Spells Dog', 'What Troll Learned', 'Snakes and Snails for Lunch') that take us through the school day. Originally published as Big Class, Little Class, this freshly illustrated reissue brings Francesca Simon and Tony Ross together again in a wonderful romp that Horrid Henry fans will revel in.
Don't Cook Cinderella
by Francesca SimonIt's just an ordinary day at Mother Goose's Academy. There's Miss Good Fairy teaching the Three Little Pigs, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Hansel and Gretel and Little Red Riding Hood to read and write, while Miss Bad Fairy is inciting the Ugly Sisters, the Big Bad Wolf, Troll, Wicked Stepmother, Wicked Witch and Jealous Queen to gobble them all up. The result? Chaos!Witty, fast-paced and anarchic, this is a complete story with ten short chapters ('C.A.T. Spells Dog', 'What Troll Learned', 'Snakes and Snails for Lunch') that take us through the school day. This is a wonderful romp that Horrid Henry fans will revel in.'[Simon Russell Beale's] Big Bad Wolf is growlier than Marlon Brando, and his Jealous Queen more languorous than a casting-couch seductress. Inviting mimicry , too, are the snorts of the three little pigs and the lip-smacking 'yumyumyum' of the nasty but dim Troll' Daily Telegraph(P)2004 Orion Publishing Group.Ltd
Don't Eat Bees: Life Lessons from Chip the Dog (Life Lessons from Chip the Dog)
by Dev PettyThe comic duo that brought you I Don't Want to Be a Frog is back, with Chip the dog, a hilarious new character who's got some "wisdom" to share.Are you a dog in need of advice? Fear not: Chip the dog is ON IT in this super-silly guide to living your best canine life. Chip is seven; he knows things. Like what to eat (important papers, the fancy bird the humans cooked for the fancy dinner, Grandpa&’s teeth), and what not to eat (bees). He won&’t get those mixed up, will he? Pet lovers will see their own goofy fur-friends in Chip's earnest yet ridiculous antics, and readers who love funny animal stories will find their next favorite book buddy with Chip the dog, who's patiently waiting to eat your homework and slobber on your clothes.★ Nominee: Oklahoma Redbud Read Aloud Book Award, 2023
Don't Eat Me (A Dr. Siri Paiboun Mystery #13)
by Colin CotterillBetween getting into a tangle with a corrupt local judge, and discovering a disturbing black-market business, Dr. Siri and his friend Inspector Phosy have their hands full in the thirteenth installment of Colin Cotterill's quirky, critically acclaimed series.Dr. Siri Paiboun, the 75-year-old ex-national coroner of Laos, may have more experience dissecting bodies than making art, but now that he’s managed to smuggle a fancy movie camera into the country, he devises a plan to shoot a Lao adaptation of War and Peace with his friend Civilai. The only problem? The Ministry of Culture must approve the script before they can get rolling. That, and they can’t figure out how to turn on the camera.Meanwhile, the skeleton of a woman has appeared under the Anusawari Arch in the middle of the night. Siri puts his directorial debut on hold and assists his friend Phosy, the newly promoted Senior Police Inspector, with the ensuing investigation. Though the death of the unknown woman seems to be recent, the flesh on her corpse has been picked off in places as if something—or someone—has been gnawing on the bones. The plot Siri and his friends uncover involves much more than a single set of skeletal remains.
Don't Eat This Book: Fast Food and the Supersizing of America
by Morgan Spurlock"Benevolent muckraker" Morgan Spurlock debuts a wry investigative voice that will appeal to anyone interested in the health of our country, our children, and ourselves.
Don't Even Think About It
by Sarah MlynowskiContemporary teen fiction with romance, secrets, scandals, and ESP from the author of Ten Things We Did (And Probably Shouldn't Have).We weren't always like this. We used to be average New York City high school sophomores. Until our homeroom went for flu shots. We were prepared for some side effects. Maybe a headache. Maybe a sore arm. We definitely didn't expect to get telepathic powers. But suddenly we could hear what everyone was thinking. Our friends. Our parents. Our crushes. Now we all know that Tess is in love with her best friend, Teddy. That Mackenzie cheated on Cooper. That, um, Nurse Carmichael used to be a stripper. Since we've kept our freakish skill a secret, we can sit next to the class brainiac and ace our tests. We can dump our boyfriends right before they dump us. We know what our friends really think of our jeans, our breath, our new bangs. We always know what's coming. Some of us will thrive. Some of us will crack. None of us will ever be the same. So stop obsessing about your ex. We're always listening."Smart and frequently hilarious."--Publishers Weekly, starred"A tour-de-force comic narration that will leave you gasping in awe--if you ever catch your breath from laughing."--E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars"Hilarious, moving, and utterly ingenious."--Robin Wasserman, author of The Book of Blood and Shadow and The Waking Dark "Sarah Mlynowski does it again with a fresh, fun, and fabulous story filled with secrets, surprises, and a sixth sense. Don't even THINK about passing up this hilarious read!" --Elizabeth Eulberg, author of The Lonely Hearts Club "Finally, someone understands that if you develop powers as a teenager, it's not the government you have to watch out for--it's your best friends. Funny, realistic, heartfelt, satiric, and unpredictable." --Ned Vizzini, New York Times bestselling author of It's Kind of a Funny Story
Don't Even Think About Telling This Joke at the Office
by Harry BergenThe first salvo to restore objectionable jokes to the office. They're rude, crude, and grounds for immediate termination. And so funny, readers will laugh until coffee comes out their noses. Here is a book that brings un-P. C. jokes to their rightful place: the office.
Don't Even Think About Telling this Joke to a Lawyer
by Harry BergenPerfect for lawyers and those who hate them. How are lawyer jokes different from lawyers? Lawyer jokes never lose their appeal. Everyone likes to make fun of lawyers. The problem is that not all lawyer jokes are funny. This book separates the good from the bad-for belly laughs aplenty.
Don't Fart When You Snuggle: Lessons on How to Make a Human Smile
by From FrankMeet Frank. His goal in life is to make humans smile. And that's exactly what he and his wisecracking pals do in this guide to living the good life—of a dog! From the creator of the popular greeting card line From Frank™, this playful book offers advice for dogs, by dogs, that's sure to brighten any human's day. Photographs accompany unfiltered insights into the weird and wonderful relationship that pets share with their loved ones. Anyone who follows Frank's advice is in for some extra belly rubs, guaranteed.