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Do Ants Have Arseholes?: ...and 101 other bloody ridiculous questions
by Jon Butler Bruno VincentHow easy is it to fall off a log? Where is the middle of nowhere? Do we really have no bananas? The readers of OLD GIT magazine are a batty, befuddled, potty-mouthed bunch, who seem to spend a significant chunk of their spare time corresponding with the publication's popular letters page. DO ANTS HAVE ARSEHOLES? is a very funny, very silly collection of questions and answers taken from this column, none of which has any basis whatsoever in fact. A must for all those who relish a heady mixture of shaggy-dog stories, toilet humour and utter lack of insight.
Do Ants Have Arseholes?: ...and 101 other bloody ridiculous questions
by Jon Butler Bruno VincentHow easy is it to fall off a log? Where is the middle of nowhere? Do we really have no bananas? The readers of OLD GIT magazine are a batty, befuddled, potty-mouthed bunch, who seem to spend a significant chunk of their spare time corresponding with the publication's popular letters page. DO ANTS HAVE ARSEHOLES? is a very funny, very silly collection of questions and answers taken from this column, none of which has any basis whatsoever in fact. A must for all those who relish a heady mixture of shaggy-dog stories, toilet humour and utter lack of insight.
Do Bats Have Bollocks?: And 101 More Utterly Stupid Questions
by Jon Butler Bruno VincentThe letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as:Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open?What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls?Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?
Do Bats Have Bollocks?: and 101 more utterly stupid questions
by Jon Butler Bruno VincentThe letters page of Old Git magazine continues to offer its readers an opportunity to ask and provide answers to the most pressing questions of our times. Questions such as:Would it help global warming if I left my fridge door open?What's the riskiest game of risk ever played? If I fell down a disused mineshaft would Lassie really run and get help, or just sit there licking his balls?Do Bats Have Bollocks? features a host of completely new and untrue questions and answers. With bags more rude jokes, shaggy dog stories and the odd entry from a new, bewildered editor who's wondering what the hell he's got himself into, this book is every bit as laugh-out-loud funny as last year's hugely successful volume Do Ants Have Arseholes?
Do Cats Always Land on Their Feet?
by Marty Becker Gina SpadaforiAn informative look at everything you ever wanted to know about cats ... but were afraid to ask!One thing we do know for sure about cats is that they rule the household. But other than that, most people know remarkably little about these mysterious creatures that were once thought of as gods. As the key to a good relationship with your pet is understanding them now might be the time to find out:* Why are cats' tongues like sandpaper?* Where did the nine lives myth come from? * Why cats' eyes shine at night?* Why do cats rub against our legs?* What is a cat's top speed?* Why are cats so noisy when they mate? * Can cats see in the mirror?* What was the highest number of cats ever found in a single house?And a few others you've never dared ask!
Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?: The Surprising Science of Pregnancy
by Jena PincottBrain Candy for expectant parents! Pregnancy is an adventure. Lots of books tell you the basics—“the baby is the size of [insert fruit here].” But pregnant science writer Jena Pincott began to wonder just how a baby might tinker with her body—and vice versa—and chased down answers to the questions she wouldn’t ask her doctor, such as: • Does stress sharpen your baby’s mind—or dull it? • Can you predict your baby’s temperament? • Why are babies born in the darker months of the year more likely to grow up to be novelty-loving risk takers? • Are bossy, dominant women more likely to have boys? • How can the cells left behind by your baby affect you years later? This is a different kind of pregnancy book—thoughtful, fun, and filled with information you won’t find anywhere else.
Do Dogs Have Chins? And Other Questions Without Answers
by Sarah MangusoPondering the questions only kids would think to ask, this hilarious, poignant collection captures the wonder of a child's imagination, brought to life by beloved New Yorker cartoonist Liana Finck.'A chance to leave all adult frippery behind and ponder what's really important - our children have known it all along. This book is cleansing, reassuring, funny, and frequently profound; I loved it'. Susie DentWhy does a ghost wander? Are bubbles in drinks their thoughts? Do dogs have chins? Where does the dark go when the light comes on? How will it feel on the last day I'm a child?What's the best question a kid ever asked you? When Sarah Manguso posted this question online, she immediately received hundreds of answers. Gathering more than one hundred of the best questions from this poll and bringing them brilliantly to life with illustrations by New Yorker cartoonist Liana Finck, Do Dogs Have Chins? ranges from the ridiculous to the sublime - encompassing birth, death, love dinosaurs, and everything in between - to show us the wit and wisdom of children in all their wondrous glory.'This book is for anyone who has secret questions in their mind they are too embarrassed to ask out loud. In other words, this book is for everyone' Lemony Snicket, bestselling author of A Series of Unfortunate Events and All the Wrong Questions
Do Elephants Jump?
by David FeldmanPonder, if you will ... Where do you find fascinating explanations for a multitude of mysteries? Why do pianos have 88 keys? How does the hole get in the needle of a syringe? Why is peanut butter sticky? Pop culture guru David Feldman demystifies these questions and much more in Do Elephants Jump? One of the Imponderables® series -- the unchallenged source of answers to civilization's everyday mysteries -- and charmingly illustrated by Kassie Schwan, this book provides you with small mysteries that puzzle and amaze us.
Do Fish Drink Water?: Puzzling and Improbable Questions and Answers
by Bill McLainThe author of What Makes Flamingos Pink? offers up “a fun, fact-filled snack for the terminally informed . . . enlivened by the author’s wit” (Kirkus Reviews).Is it true that elephants are afraid of mice?How much gold does the United States store in Fort Knox?Why do I get a headache when I eat ice cream too fast?How did the “seventh inning stretch” originate?As the official webmaster for Xerox, Bill McLain was surprised by the kinds of questions he was receiving, like whether people born blind can see in their dreams and why rabbits are associated with Easter. McLain began to answer each and every question—attracting national attention from MSNBC, CNN, and People—and the result, collected in Do Fish Drink Water?, is a surprising, funny, and informative collection of facts. McLain’s answers can often be as wild as the questions and prompt entertaining anecdotes about where he found them. McLain explains how magnets are made, what caused the Great Depression of 1922, and even explains why cats purr. Also included is an extensive list of websites where he conducts research, offering an informative guide to making the most of the Internet.“The legions who have dropped him a line have dubbed McLain . . . Prophet, Answer Dude, Webmeister, Guru of Locating Unusual Information.” —San Jose Mercury News“A veritable Internet legend known for having all the answers.” —San Francisco Chronicle
Do Geese Get Goose Bumps?: & More Than 199 Perplexing Questions with Astounding Answers
by Bathroom Readers' InstituteA Q&A book full of things you didn't know you need to know.Find the answers to hundreds of life's most perplexing questions in this entertaining collection from the editors at Portable Press (the team behind the best-selling, award-winning Uncle John's Bathroom Reader line). Do Geese Get Goose Bumps is 224 pages of simple explanations for complex topics—everything from "Why is air transparent?" to "Why do late-night commercials always offer to throw in a second, identical product 'at no extra cost'?" Clearly written and thoroughly researched, this book will shed new light on science, history, politics, sports, animals, food, pop culture, and more. Some sample questions: *Can an elephant cry crocodile tears? *Why do clouds float? *Why is abbreviation such a long word? *What's in a hot dog? *Why does Hawaii have interstate highways? *What did they call a photographic memory before the invention of photography? *Why does Superman wear his underwear on the outside? *Why do dogs come when you call them, but cats ignore you? *What's a male ballerina called? And much, much more!
The Do-Gooder
by Jessie L. StarA college girl tries to make up for her bad karma by doing one good deed for anyone willing to ask—a witty, sweet romance perfect for fans of Christina Lauren and Abbi Glines.Lara Montgomery is no good. Having been scorned by her classmates since high school, she’s used to it. From where she’s sitting, the one with more notches on the bedpost has more fun anyway. At least, that’s what she tells herself. Really, a small part of her hopes that her massive amounts of bad karma can be neutralized by wearing her Do-Gooder hat—that thing she does where she’ll complete one good deed for anyone who asks. And she does an amazing job at it, if she does say so herself. Still, there’s one thing she knows she can’t make better, no matter how many problems she solves for other people: on the night her brother died, she was off hooking up with his not-so-single best friend, Fletch. It’s been three years since that night, and Fletch just wants her to let it go. To him, her persistence with the good deeds only serves to remind everyone in their small university town about what they did. As it is, they can’t help but get into a heated argument every time they run into each other on campus. And yet, neither of them can seem to stop that pesky electricity that runs between them whenever they get too close….
Do I Feel Better Yet?: Questionable Attempts at Self-Care and Existing in General
by null Madeleine TrebenskiIf you've ever dared to express dissatisfaction with the state of your life, you've inevitably received a variety of helpful suggestions: "Have you tried meditation? Exercise? A cult? An exercise cult?" In Do I Feel Better Yet?, Madeleine Trebenski explores more than 45 so-called solutions suggested to her in the name of self-care. In a playful and at times sardonic chronicle of the elusive promises of multistep skin-care routines, gratitude journaling, scented candles, and more, Trebenski perfectly captures what it's like to live in a time when homemade kombucha and weighted blankets are said to single-handedly solve all our problems. These essays will make you laugh, make you feel less alone, and maybe make you feel better—even if just for a little while.
Do I Have to Say Hello? Aunt Delia's Manners Quiz for Kids and Their Grownups
by Delia EphronTwenty-five years after its original publication, Do I Have to Say Hello? Aunt Delia's Manners Quiz for Kids and Their Grown-ups is back, and do we and our kids all need it. In a series of light-hearted multiple choice quizzes, alternate scenarios, and true-or-false questions, Delia Ephron and Edward Koren, the author and illustrator team who brought us the best-selling How to Eat Like a Child, depict a range of possibilities that reflect life as it is as well as life as it ought to be. Covering table manners, car manners, playground manners, school manners, and more, this is a book that is sure to delight (and horrify) adults and children of all ages. Aunt Delia knows what makes the difference between a pleasant and an excruciating visit to a friend's house in the company of a young child. She knows the proper order in which the following actions take place: (a) Throw up; (b) Get out of the car; (c) Ask Uncle Jerry to pull over. In short, she is practical and basic: she does not get into fish forks, but she knows what to do with bubble gum. She also deals with such things as kindness, sharing, consideration, generosity, and diplomacy. Delia Ephron's painfully on-target text is complemented by Edward Koren's hilarious drawings, which-as ever-present us not as we might wish to appear, but as we really are.From the Hardcover edition.
Do I Have to Say Hello? Aunt Delia's Manners Quiz for Kids and Their Grownups
by Delia EphronTwenty-five years after its original publication, Do I Have to Say Hello? Aunt Delia's Manners Quiz for Kids and Their Grown-ups is back, and do we and our kids all need it. In a series of light-hearted multiple choice quizzes, alternate scenarios, and true-or-false questions, Delia Ephron and Edward Koren, the author and illustrator team who brought us the best-selling How to Eat Like a Child, depict a range of possibilities that reflect life as it is as well as life as it ought to be. Covering table manners, car manners, playground manners, school manners, and more, this is a book that is sure to delight (and horrify) adults and children of all ages. Aunt Delia knows what makes the difference between a pleasant and an excruciating visit to a friend's house in the company of a young child. She knows the proper order in which the following actions take place: (a) Throw up; (b) Get out of the car; (c) Ask Uncle Jerry to pull over. In short, she is practical and basic: she does not get into fish forks, but she knows what to do with bubble gum. She also deals with such things as kindness, sharing, consideration, generosity, and diplomacy. Delia Ephron's painfully on-target text is complemented by Edward Koren's hilarious drawings, which-as ever-present us not as we might wish to appear, but as we really are.From the Hardcover edition.
Do I Have to Wear a Coat?
by Rachel IsadoraCaldecott Honor winner Rachel Isadora celebrates each of the four seasons with a diverse cast of endearing kids All four seasons are full of wonderful things that make them fun and special, and the children in this delightful book share some of the highlights (and some pretty nifty clothes)! Spring brings berries, baby animals, cool showers--and raincoats. Summer brings warm breezes, the best beach weather--and no more coats! In the fall, we play in the leaves and pumpkin patches--and wrap up in cozy sweaters. And winter brings ice skating and all kinds of snowy outdoor fun--but we need to bundle up in our heaviest coats! In a style reminiscent of her popular My Dog Laughs and I Hear a Pickle, Rachel Isadora's charming vignettes are packed with details that young children will want to pour over.
Do Let's Have Another Drink!: The Dry Wit and Fizzy Life of Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother
by Mr. Gareth RussellFor fans of The Crown and Ninety-Nine Glimpses of Princess Margaret, a deliciously entertaining collection of 101 fascinating and funny anecdotes about Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother—one for each year of her life.During her lifetime, the Queen Mother was as famous for her clever quips, pointed observations, and dry-as-a-martini delivery style as she was for being a beloved royal. Now, Do Let&’s Have Another Drink recounts 101 (one for each year of her remarkable life) amusing and astonishing vignettes from across her long life, including her coming of age during World War I, the abdication of her brother-in-law and her unexpected ascendance to the throne, and her half century of widowhood as her daughter reigned over the United Kingdom. Featuring new revelations and colorful anecdotes about the woman Cecil Beaton, the high society photographer, once summarized as &“a marshmallow made on a welding machine,&” Do Let&’s Have Another Drink is a delightful celebration of one of the most consistently popular members of the royal family.
Do Me, Do My Roots
by Eileen RendahlDouble Rita FinalistNational Readers Choice Award FinalistIt's about healing. After a couple of rough years, Emily is finally getting things back together. She doesn't need to re-do everything at work three times, her young daughter's soccer uniform is almost always clean the day of a game, and meals are pretty darn reliable, too. But hey, becoming a widow at thirty-three kind of knocks the starch out of you. It's about family. Then Emily's dad has an Event (only her mom would call a minor heart attack that -- what is it, a bar mitzvah?). Next, her sister Claudia's ex-husband starts stealing their kids' Ritalin for the high -- and wouldn't you replace it with The Pill to teach him a lesson? And then Emily's relentlessly sensible oldest sister, Leah, dumps her businessman fiancé for a rock musician. It's about never letting them see your gray. Now Jake, Emily's best friend, seems to be spending a lot of time at her house. Which she likes way too much. Which is kind of confusing. So what's a girl to do, but call an emergency meeting of the sisters' monthly hair-color-and-gossip session, to make the world seem sane again?
Do Not Bring Your Dragon to the Last Day of School
by Julie GassmanAnother year of learning is in the books, and it's time to celebrate! Dragon loves parties and picnics and playgrounds and is ready to celebrate too. But is it smart to bring a dragon to the last day of school? Find out if Dragon gets to join in the fun in this hilarious picture book by Julie Gassman (Do Not Bring Your Dragon to the Library, Do Not Take Your Dragon to Dinner, Do Not Bring Your Dragon to Recess, and Do Not Take Your Dragon on a Field Trip). The interactive story is perfect for reading out loud at storytime!
Do Not Let Your Dragon Spread Germs
by Julie GassmanYour dragon loves to hug and high-five and shake hands and sing and blow bubbles and share happiness everywhere she goes. Dragons want to spread joy to everyone! But some of those actions are also spreading germs. It’s time to wash your hands, mask up, and teach your dragon how to share joy in a safe and healthy way. Author Julie Gassman uses rhyming text, relatable examples, and a diverse cast of characters to teach kids about germs in the sixth book in the Do Not Take Your Dragon picture book series.
Do Not Open the Box
by Timothy YoungBenny spots a big cardboard box with a note taped to it saying, "Do Not Open." His imagination runs wild, and it's almost too much for a curious boy to bear. He thinks about all of the things, good and bad, that could be inside that box. A birthday robot? A wolverine? An entrance to another world? What should he do? This endearingly illustrated tale of a classic childhood dilemma has a surprise ending and offers a peek into a young boy's mind as he weighs tantalizing possibilities against the risks of breaking the rules.
Do Not Open This Math Book: Addition + Subtraction
by Danica McKellar Maranda MaberryNew York Times bestselling author Danica McKellar is back with a fun and accessible introduction to the essentials of math. Addition and subtraction are as easy as 1 + 2 = 3 in this funny and educational book that will have readers embracing math instead of fearing it.Finally, a FUN book to read with kids that helps bridge the gap between what's being taught in school and how today's parents learned math back in the day. Giggle your way through entertaining lessons on addition and subtraction involving muffins, turkey sandwiches, kittens, googly eyes, and more!Actress, math whiz, and New York Times bestselling author Danica McKellar uses her proven math techniques to give children the solid grasp of addition and subtraction that will be key to their success and unlock their potential in the classroom and beyond!You will WANT to open this math book!
Do Not Open 'Til Christmas (Evergreen Lane Novels #4)
by Sierra DonovanWhat happens when a Scrooge-like boss and a determined young woman have to work together during the holidays? A Christmas of surprises . . . Bret Radner once dreamed of being a hard-hitting journalist, exposing corruption and writing Pulitzer-winning pieces. But heart-tugging circumstances kept him at the Tall Pine Gazette, where small town life, new neighbors, and human interest stories are the news. In charge for the entire holiday season, Bret is determined to run the newsroom right. Yet with a too-pretty rookie reporter to train, he finds himself challenged on just about everything . . . A waitress at the Pine ‘n’ Dine restaurant, freelance reporter Chloe Davenport finally gets her big chance to work full-time for the Gazette. But proving herself to her handsome boss won’t be easy. He turns down all her holiday-themed stories and, in fact, doesn’t seem to like Christmas at all. Yet the closer Chloe works with Bret, the more she realizes that his tough exterior conceals a hidden hurt . . . and a heart she wants to fill with glad tidings of great joy—for many seasons to come . . . “Sierra Donovan captures the magic of Christmas in this charming and romantic tale. I smiled the entire time I was reading it!” —Shirlee McCoy on We Need a Little Christmas
Do Over
by Serena BellToe-curling? Check. Sheet-twisting? Check. But is that enough for a second chance? Jack: I’m pretty much as tough as they come. But when a woman comes to me in tears, I’m jelly. Scratch that—when Maddie Adams comes to me in tears, I’m jelly. That’s how we ended up making our incredible son five years ago, and that’s why I practically beg her to move in with me when she’s in a tight spot. Of course, the last time I got the chance to be the hero, I let her down, but I’m not making the same mistake twice. This time, I’m going to be the man she deserves—and then I’m going to lay every ounce of sexy on her until she lets me back into her heart. Maddie: Jack Parker is hot, and he knows it. What he’s not is a family man, something this single mom had to learn the hard way. Still, moving into his place until I get back on my feet makes all kinds of sense. He’s an old friend. He’s, ahem, the father of my child. And let’s face it, now that I’ve just been colossally dumped, we’ve got nowhere else to go. The truth is, I never could resist Jack. Living under the same roof puts dirty thoughts in my head. And when my brilliant plan backfires, my whole body is begging for a do-over. . . . Do Over is a standalone novel with no cheating, no cliffhangers, and a satisfying happily ever after. This ebook includes an excerpt from another Loveswept title.“Sharp, funny, charming, and impossible to put down! I adored Do Over.”—Jessica Lemmon, author of the Real Love series“I loved this story. It kept me engaged from beginning to end and I immediately connected with the characters. This is a second-chance romance, which is one of my favorite tropes. The characters are real, vulnerable, good together, and have amazing sexual chemistry.”—Cocktails and Books “A sweet but completely hot book . . . [During] the sexy times more than sparks were jumping off the page. You can feel the heat between these two [and] their sincere love for their son. It just humbles you to read this and, with a surprise ending, is worth every page.”—Kitty’s Book Spot! “I really enjoyed this story. It was a fun, sexy second-chance story that had a wonderful happy ending.”—Sue Galuska Don’t miss any of Serena Bell’s delightful romances: YOURS TO KEEP | HOLD ON TIGHT | AFTER MIDNIGHT | TURN UP THE HEAT | CAN’T HOLD BACK | TO HAVE AND TO HOLD | GETTING INSIDE
The Do-Over
by Lynn PainterA New York Times Bestseller In this &“unequivocally hilarious and delightful&” (Kirkus Reviews) young adult romp for fans of Recommended for You and A Cuban Girl&’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow, a teen girl has the worst Valentine&’s Day ever—only to relive it over and over again. After living through a dumpster fire of a Valentine&’s Day, Emilie Hornby escapes to her grandmother&’s house for some comfort and a consolation pint of Ben & Jerry&’s. She passes out on the couch, but when she wakes up, she&’s back home in her own bed—and it&’s Valentine&’s Day all over again. And the next day? Another horrendous V-Day. Emilie is stuck in some sort of time loop nightmare that she can&’t wake up from as she re-watches her boyfriend, Josh, cheat on her day after day. In addition to Josh&’s recurring infidelity, Emilie can&’t get away from the enigmatic Nick, who she keeps running into—sometimes literally—in unfortunate ways. How many times can one girl passively watch her life go up in flames? And when something good starts to come out of these terrible days, what happens when the universe stops doling out do-overs?