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F**k the Establishment: 101 ways to get your voice heard and change the world
by The F TeamA helpful and positive illustrated guide to exacting the change in the world you want to see, using the tools you already have at your disposal. The mood in the world right now isn't good. Some of us might be feeling let down by our governments, or watching the rich and poor divide increase, or losing sleep over the large country of plastic floating in the Pacific ocean. But we mustn't feel defeated or hopeless. There are so many positives about this time we are living through. And one of those plenty of positives? *You and I have never had so much opportunity to make change!* No matter how big or small your cause, with 101 simple tips and tricks you can do to get your attitude in gear, treat change like business, rally your troops and strategise your success, Fuck the Establishment will have you changing the world in no time. You go Glen Coco!
F**king Up the Buttons on a Babygrow: A memoir of Twenty First Century parenthood
by Drew MagaryHave you ever faked sleep at 3 a.m. in a perverse game of 'baby monitor chicken' with your partner? Or wondered exactly how dire the consequences of an incorrect measurement of formula might be? Have you fought off the urge to strangle the feral child who smeared something unidenitfiable on the playground slide just before your toddler used it? Or fought off the urge to strangle your own while they repeatedly shout 'What's up f**kface?' to all and sundry during a trip to the supermarket? If you're a new parent, you've probably done at least one of the above. And if you have, it's OK, as Drew Magary expertly demonstrates in this hilarious book. Drew's commentary on the perils of modern-day fatherhood is so acutely observed, and so brilliantly told, that in a perfect world it would be advertised at NCT classes, endorsed by Gina Ford, and handed out in every new parent's Bounty bag. Read it for yourself, give it your partner, or get it for anyone you know who you suspect might be about to fall into the parent trap . . .
F*ck Off, Chloe!: Surviving the OMGs! and FMLs! in Your Media Career
by Jeremy MurphyA laugh-out-loud account of working in media! Public relations' snarkiest publicist Jeremy Murphy expertly chronicles his hatred, love, indifference, amusement, and scorn for the profession in F*ck Off, Chloe!. From entitled millennials to surly reporters, obnoxious clients, and cumbersome, color-coded &“trackers,&” Murphy takes a scalpel and glass of Châteauneuf-du-Pape to the PR industry in a searing, hilarious, and pissy voice that his own psychiatrist finds &“deeply concerning.&” His collection of annoyances shed light on the industry&’s idiosyncrasies, insanities, contradictions, and past due invoices, providing an illuminating window into the dirty world of public relations not even Xanax can help. Complementing the scathing prose are color-in illustrations by artist Darren Greenblatt, creator of the &“Ugly Lives of Beautiful People&” sketch series.
F*ck That: An Honest Meditation
by Jason HeadleyLike a yoga class you can hold in your hand, a beautiful, full-color guide to letting sh*t go Our world is filled with annoyances, and sometimes you need a little dose of humor to cope with the news cycle, your irritating co-worker, or that telemarketer who won&’t stop calling. This refreshingly honest self-help book will guide you through a meditation to &“breathe in strength, and breathe out bullsh*t.&” An excellent gift for yourself or others, F*ck That is the very embodiment of modern-day self-care. May it help you find peace with the challenges that surround you…because they are f*cking everywhere. Based on the viral video that had everyone from yogis to workaholics raving, F*ck That is the completely truthful and oddly tranquil guide to relieving stress and achieving inner peace.
F*ck Whales: Also Families, Poetry, Folksy Wisdom and You
by MaddoxA collection of satirical, crass, comedic essays from famed Internet personality and New York Times bestselling author Maddox of the infamous website The Best Page in the Universe.In this third book from Maddox, the reigning king of Internet satire delivers a collection of humorous, unapologetic essays in the same voice that propelled him into comedic stardom. With all-new material, F*ck Whales doesn’t fail to deliver on his personal brand of satire, complete with self-promotion, petty rants and brilliant essays on anything and everything Maddox deems worthy of his ire.
F*ck You Haiku: Little Breakup Poems to Help You Vent, Heal, and Move On
by Kristina GrishGet through any relationship split with this collection of relatable, impassioned, and irreverent breakup haikus.When her marriage came to a sudden and infuriating end, celebrated relationship columnist Kristina Grish found solace in a unique outlet—penning fiery breakup haikus. Now, she shares her cathartic creations in a compilation designed to guide you through the wreckage of your split. In F*ck You Haiku, Kristina has compiled more than 100 breakup haikus— drawing inspiration from her own tumultuous love affairs and universal experiences that strike a chord with us all. These poetic gems serve as a lifeline for anyone grappling with heartbreak, providing a cathartic path to healing. Representing a range of emotions and clever ways to vent about your ex, these haikus are entertaining and enraging, as well as enlightening and empowering. So, if you&’re currently going through a breakup—whether you did the deed or are on the receiving end of it—let this collection of inventive poems help you say &“f*ck you&” to that special someone and eventually &“love you&” to yourself.
F*ck You, I'm Irish: Why We Irish Are Awesome
by Rashers TierneyAn in-your-face collection of trivia that’s sure to inspire chest-thumping pride in everyone of Irish descent.Is there anyone who does not think the Irish are the greatest people on Earth? Before stepping outside to convince them, first peacefully impart upon any misinformed bar patrons the incontrovertible evidence presented in F*ck You, I’m Irish. Amazing accomplishment or astounding person, if it bleeds kelly green and it’s feckin’ great, it’s in this book. Irish pride has sparked parades, breakfast cereal, beer, riots, international holidays, the fame of Liam Neeson, sports mascots, more beer, and now, this fun and fascinating book. In its pages, Irish culture, history, and general weirdness come to life with snappy entries on everything from snake-chasing saints, cute hoors, and ruthless independence fighters to acclaimed authors, superstar rock bands, and fair-skinned super models.Forget about the leprechaun dolls, T-shirts, hats, wigs, and green beer that people buy every St. Paddy’s Day! With true stories of immigrant struggles, rollicking wakes, hurling shenanigans, and Guinness-fueled escapades, F*ck You, I’m Irish offers a far better way to celebrate one’s heritage than a manky “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” button.
F*ck You, I'm Italian: Why We Italians Are Awesome
by Tony DiGerolamoAn entertaining, page-turning overview of Italian-American history and cultureFrom ancient Rome to modern America, we Italians have always been the friggin’ best in art, science, culture and—Madonn’—food! Now, this fascinating collection of Italian history, people, facts and trivia will make you proudly say, “F*ck you, I’m Italian,” including . . .Culture—from the Renaissance to The GodfatherMusic—from Frank Sinatra to Lady GagaHistory—from gladiators to RockyFood—from sauce to cannoliFamily—from Sunday mass to Sunday dinner
F*ck Your Diet: And Other Things My Thighs Tell Me
by Chloé HilliardFans of Issa Rae and Phoebe Robinson will love this collection of laugh-out-loud funny and insightful essays that explore race, feminism, pop culture, and how society reinforces the message that we are nothing without the perfect body. By the time Chloé Hilliard was 12, she wore a size 12—both shoe and dress—and stood over six feet tall. Fitting in was never an option. That didn&’t stop her from trying. Cursed with a &“slow metabolism,&” &“baby weight,&” and &“big bones,&”—the fat trilogy—Chloe turned to fad diets, starvation, pills, and workouts, all of which failed. Realizing that everything—from government policies to corporate capitalism—directly impacts our relationship with food and our waistlines, Chloé changed her outlook on herself and hopes others will do the same for themselves. The perfect mix of cultural commentary, conspiracies, and confessions, F*ck Your Diet pokes fun at the all too familiar, misguided quest for better health, permanent weight loss, and a sense of self-worth.
F*ck! I'm in My Twenties
by Emma KoenigEveryone has that moment—the realization that adulthood has arrived, like a runaway train, and there’s no getting out of its way. From the hit Tumblr blog of the same name, F*ck! I’m in My Twenties perfectly captures the new generation currently testing the waters of post-college reality. Quick-witted and self-deprecating, the author pens irreverent missives, DIY diagrams, illustrations, and tongue-in-cheek checklists that chronicle her experience as a twenty-something living in the big city. Including the best of her beloved blog, plus over 50% new material, this is a perfect humor impulse buy for anyone who has a love-hate relationship with their twenties.
F*cking History: 111 Lessons You Should Have Learned in School
by The CaptainHistory that doesn't suck: Smart, crude, and hilariously relevant to modern life.Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it. Too bad it's usually boring as sh*t. Enter The Captain, the ultimate storyteller who brings history to life (and to your life) in this hilarious, intelligent, brutally honest, and crude compendium to events that happened before any of us were born.The entries in this compulsively readable book bridge past and present with topics like getting ghosted, handling haters, and why dog owners rule (sorry, cat people). Along the way you'll get a glimpse of Edith Wharton's sex life, dating rituals in Ancient Greece, catfishing in 500 BC, medieval flirting techniques, and squad goals from Catherine the Great. You'll learn why losing yourself in a relationship will make you crazy--like Joanna of Castile, who went from accomplished badass to Joanna the Mad after obsessing over a guy known as Philip the Handsome. You'll discover how Resting Bitch Face has been embraced throughout history (so wear it proudly). And you'll see why it's never a good idea to f*ck with powerful women--from pirate queens to diehard suffragettes to Cleo-f*cking-patra. People in the past were just like us--so learn from life's losers and emulate the badasses. The Captain shows you how.
F.A.R.T. Attack!: Kids Strike Back (The F.A.R.T. Diaries #2)
by Peter BakalianWhen one of the Only Onlys falls under F.A.R.T. control, Furious Popcorn has to save his friend—and the rest of the planet—from the diabolical Brain Modem in this second book in the kooky, illustrated middle grade thriller series with nonstop, seat-of-your-pants action that will delight fans of Jarrett Lerner and Stuart Gibbs.Furious Popcorn and his best friends, the Only Onlys, are about to blow the cover of the dangerous and dastardly F.A.R.T. (Families Against Rotten Teens) by exposing their bizarre Parenting Manual. But then Furious Popcorn discovers that one of the Onlys—Apricot—is under F.A.R.T.&’s control and he worries they&’ve used their diabolical Brain Modem on her! Can Furious Popcorn save Apricot from becoming a zombie? And can he stop F.A.R.T. from unleashing the Brain Modem on the rest of the planet?
F.A.R.T.: Top Secret! No Kids Allowed! (The F.A.R.T. Diaries #1)
by Peter BakalianWhen a young teen discovers a top-secret parenting manual, it&’s kids versus grown-ups in this kooky, illustrated middle grade thriller with nonstop, seat-of-your-pants action that will delight fans of Jarrett Lerner and Stuart Gibbs. When a tween boy [Codename: Furious Popcorn] picks up what he thinks is a cookbook and finds a diabolical parenting manual, his world turns upside down. The Ultimate Guide to Hacking Your Kids was written by an organization called F.A.R.T. (Families Against Rotten Teens), a secret society of grizzled parents whose origins date back to antiquity. FP is determined to get to the bottom of this, but when he begins investigating F.A.R.T., the manual goes missing, his parents deny knowing anything about any kind of book, and—maybe strangest of all—kids at school start listening to their parents and teachers. What kid would ever do that? F.A.R.T. proves to be more than just some gassy acronym and parental rules and regulations when FP and the Only Onlys, his best friends since preschool, discover F.A.R.T.&’s grand plan: a brain modem that can turn kids into well-behaved zombies! This wacky crew has no choice but to find out who&’s behind the nefarious organization and save young people the world over from total F.A.R.T. domination!
FKA USA: A Novel
by Reed King“Mr. King looks at all our upcoming problems, and imagines a local reaction to each one. The result is often funny, usually sardonic, and always imaginative, what with all the mole rats, flesh drones, dimeheads, and especially ‘The Grifter’s Guide to the Territories FKA USA,’ a notable addition to the line of imaginary authorities.”—The Wall Street JournalIndie Next Pick for JulyBest of June: io9, AV Club, Amazing Stories, The VergeReed King’s amazingly audacious novel is something of a cross between L. Frank Baum’s The Wizard of Oz, Douglas Adams’s A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Cormac McCarthy’s The Road, and Ernest Cline’s Ready Player One.In Reed King’s wildly imaginative and possibly prescient debut, the United States has dissolved in the wake of environmental disasters and the catastrophic policies of its final president. It is 2085, and Truckee Wallace, a factory worker in Crunchtown 407 (formerly Little Rock, Arkansas, before the secessions), has no grand ambitions besides maybe, possibly, losing his virginity someday.But when Truckee is thrust unexpectedly into the spotlight he is tapped by the President for a sensitive political mission: to deliver a talking goat across the continent. The fate of the world depends upon it.The problem is—Truckee’s not sure it’s worth it.Joined on the road by an android who wants to be human and a former convict lobotomized in Texas, Truckee will navigate an environmentally depleted and lawless continent with devastating—and hilarious—parallels to our own, dodging body pickers and Elvis-worshippers and logo girls, body subbers, and VR addicts. Elvis-willing, he may even lose his virginity.FKA USA is the epic novel we’ve all been waiting for about the American end of times, with its unavoidable sense of being on the wrong end of the roller coaster ride. It is a masterwork of ambition, humor, and satire with the power to make us cry, despair, and laugh out loud all at once. It is a tour de force unlike anything else you will read this year.
FOODHEIM: A Culinary Adventure [A Cookbook]
by Eric WareheimFrom one half of the cult comedy duo Tim & Eric comes the culinary bible for modern food freaks, showing you how to throw epic parties, suck the marrow out of life, and cook better than your grandmother. &“A book with all the recipes to Wareheim&’s insanely delicious secret sauces? And a sneak peek at the man behind the curtain?? I&’ll take two please . . . extra crispy!!!&”—Jack BlackDirector and actor Eric Wareheim might be known for his comedy, but his passion for food and drink is no joke. For the last fifteen years he has been traveling the world in search of the best bites and sips, learning from top chefs and wine professionals along the way. His devotion to beautiful natural wine, the freshest seafood crudos, and perfectly cooked rib-eyes is legit. And now he wants to share with you everything he&’s learned on this epic food journey.In Foodheim, Wareheim takes readers deep into his foodscape with chapters on topics like circle foods (burgers, tacos), grandma foods (pasta, meatballs), and juicy foods (steak, ribs). Alongside recipes for Chicken Parm with Nonna Sauce, Personal Pan Pep Pep, and Crudite Extreme with Dill Dippers, you will discover which eight cocktail recipes you should know by heart, how to saber a bottle of bubbly, and what you need to do to achieve handmade pasta perfection at home.Written with award-winning cookbook editor Emily Timberlake and featuring eye-popping photographs and art chronicling Wareheim's evolution as a drinker, how to baby your pizza dough into pie perfection, and more, Foodheim is the ultimate book for anyone who lives to eat.
FORBIDDEN SURRENDER
by Carole MortimerHarlequin Presents offers a second chance to enjoy this classic story from Carole Mortimer.The only man she wants…Arriving in England, Sara Hamille finds it odd that people keep mistaking her for someone else. Someone who looks so similar to her that even that person's fiancé—devastatingly handsome Dominic Thorne—mistakes Sara for his bride-to-be!…is the only man she can't have!Envying her own double, Sara is astonished to learn that the stranger is actually her long-lost twin! But the thrill of discovering a family she never knew dims when Sara realizes that Dominic—the only man she could ever love—belongs irrevocably to her sister…
FUHGEDDABOUDIT!: From Fist-Pumping to the Family Restaurant
by Andrea Renzoni Eric RenzoniManicures, manicotti, and living in mom’s basement. Madonn! The lives of guidos and guidettes can be hard. Are your days spent on GTL and getting your hair to outrageous heights? Is the night not complete without a brawl with some stunad followed by a late-night sausage and peppers? Still not sure you’re a guido? This hilarious collection puts your doubts to rest with common guido antics and behavior, such as: You Get the Italian Flag Inked on Your Culo (Hint: You Can’t Show Your Mama) You’ve Created Your Own Nickname--and Tried to Copyright It You Spend a Half an Hour Perfecting Your Blow-Out and Another Half Hour Admiring It in the Mirror You Describe Your Dream Guy as a Juicehead Your "Nice Clothes" Are Animal Print Complete with guido quizzes (What’s Your Guido Nickname?), fun facts, and trivia (Italian Slang 101), this book is the ultimate goobmah’s guide to Italian pride.
Fables You Shouldn't Pay Any Attention To
by Florence Parry Heide Sergio Ruzzier Sylvia Worth Van CliefIn this new edition of the classic companion to Tales for the Perfect Child, Sergio Ruzzier lends his signature humor to Florence Parry Heide and Sylvia Worth Van Clief’s delectably subversive fables.Genevieve is careless. Muriel is discontented. Phoebe is always putting off until tomorrow what she should be doing today. And Chester is the laziest turkey you ever heard of. Caleb and Conrad, on the other hand, are polite and kind and thoughtful and gracious and truthful. But some good that does them! If the morals you find in these pages aren’t exactly, well, moral…just don’t pay any attention to them!
Fabulous Fishing Funnies
by Jonny HawkinsA collection of more than 150 comics from popular cartoonist Jonny Hawkins.Any fisherman who has ever been annoyed by the braggart fisherman loudly celebrating every single catch or who has ever wondered what goes through the minds of fish as they watch the hook descend upon them will be in good company here. Fabulous Fishing Funnies finds something funny in every possible fishing scenario, some realistic, others more imaginative. Reluctant relatives feasting on stuffed fish for Thanksgiving, a knight fishing with night crawlers, and a grizzly juggling fish are all featured. In this second volume of comics for anglers, Jonny Hawkins's humor turns on hilarious wordplay and comical contradictions, celebrating the absurd in mundane situations. The next time you've been waiting forever to feel a bite, remember these cartoons and you may just find your mood lifting instead.With more than 150 original, beautifully illustrated, and playfully captioned cartoons, this collection of fishing antics is sure to become a classic from syndicated cartoonist Jonny Hawkins. The perfect gift for anyone who has ever laughed at himself or a friend while fishing, Fabulous Fishing Funnies is page after page of laughs.
Fabulous Small Jews: Stories
by Joseph EpsteinWitty, &“utterly compelling&” short stories about Jewish men of a certain age, by the New York Times–bestselling author of Snobbery (San Francisco Chronicle Book Review). Set in Chicago and populated by characters ranging from lawyers and professors to scrap metal dealers, this collection of insightful and entertaining short fiction examines the crossroads and turning points of life, and the challenge of growing older and feeling suddenly adrift in a radically changed world. &“Epstein&’s narrators tend to be tough, hardworking, and solitary men who have survived poverty, the Holocaust, ruthless competition, and impossible domestic situations only to confront old age and a jittery new world that to their pragmatic eyes seems neurotic, flimsy, indulgent, and vacuous. Yet Epstein&’s heroes—guys like salesman Moe Bernstein, dry-cleaner mogul Artie Glick, a bartender, a scamming ex-con, and a few soulful academics—do not despair. They maintain their sense of humor, they take chances, they open their hearts, and they find life sweeter than ever before. As rich in clever banter as in philosophic musings, Epstein&’s funny and wise stories celebrate independence, the inner life, generosity of spirit, and rolling with the punches.&” —Booklist &“Epstein, always a graceful writer, also happens to possess a stand-up comic&’s gift for punch lines.&” —The New York Times Book Review
Fabulous: Thoughts on Being a Woman
by Peta MathiasWriter and broadcaster Peta Mathias is a woman who has never been afraid to embrace life with all its glorious inconsistencies, joys and heartbreaks. In Fabulous, she becomes every woman's confidante, as she shares with us the wisdom she has learnt over years of living outrageously. She is a woman who appreciates the importance of a gorgeous pair of shoes and the perfect shade of lipstick. She knows the value of good friends, great music, lively conversation, beautiful surroundings and a one-way ticket to an exotic destination. And having loved and lost - more than once - Peta also has her own theories on why relationships begin and end. And then there's the sex chapter!Inspirational, razor-witted and irresistibly funny, Fabulous is a must-read for each and every fabulous woman out there.
Fabulously Dead (A Dead is the New Fabulous Mystery #1)
by Lindsay MaracottaA “Dead is the New Fabulous” Mystery (#1) “Lindsay Maracotta has created in Lucy an exhilarating smart and sassy character. Her insider’s take crackles with fresh insight and laugh-out-loud one-liners.” —Janet Evanovich, #1 New York Times Bestselling Author “Killingly amusing. Lindsay Maracotta wields the sharpest tongue since Nora Ephron banged out Heartburn. The book’s social observations are right on the money.” —The Chicago Tribune In the tradition of Janet Evanovich comes a smart and sassy first mystery about family values—Hollywood style. Animation filmmaker Lucy Frampton seemingly has it all—the glamorous mansion, adorable child and too-handsome-for-his-own-good producer husband. But Lucy has something her famous neighbors do not: a nude, wannabe starlet floating dead in her swimming pool!!! When she and her husband become the prime suspects in the high-profile murder investigation, Lucy knows she’s going to have to clear her own name—especially when she finds out that the enterprising victim had set her sights on Lucy’s husband! In a world of sex, lies, and iPhones, it’s up to Lucy to find the killer…lest she find herself as the next Fabulous victim!!!
Face Off: Emile (Nashville Sound #1)
by Alicia Hunter PaceUSA TODAY bestselling author Alicia Hunter Pace launches a brand-new sports romance series, Nashville Sound, featuring some fan favorites finding true love.Emile Giroux has vowed he will be everything his stepfather is not: cultured, charming, sophisticated, and—above all else—a rich, successful NHL star. One of the top goalies in the league, the French Canadian strives for more, still haunted by his troubled childhood. Amy Callahan was a freelance professional organizer until an ambitious, domineering boyfriend took over her life and cleaned out her bank account. Once indispensable to the stars, Amy now finds herself with no money, no house, no phone, and nowhere to go. When Emile finds Amy literally kicked to the curb, he seizes his latest chance to rescue a damsel in distress—only Amy doesn’t want to play that game. In fact, she’s determined to put men on ice in her life permanently. Can they find a way to let love win? Sensuality Level: Sensual
Face the Music: Jokes About Music
by Scott K. PetersonFun and wacky jokes about music and musicians for all ages. Easy to read in a simple Q and A format.
Facing Up to Fatherhood (His Baby #3)
by Miranda Lee"I'm not the baby's father!"When a beautiful brunette wheeled a baby carriage into Dominic Hunter's office, he knew he could not have forgotten making love to her! But Tina was convinced that Dominic was Bonnie's father-even if he did insist on denying paternity-and she was determined to make this heartless seducer face up to fatherhood.Heartless? Even Dominic couldn't resist baby Bonnie, whether she was his or not. Seducer? Suddenly Dominic couldn't resist being that, either; never before had he wanted a woman-Tina-so much....