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Fishy Tales (Splat the Cat)
by Rob ScottonSplat the Cat and his class go to the aquarium! Splat tries to impress Kitten with his excellent sea creature facts, but he might not know as much about underwater creatures as he thought. Mrs. Wimpydimple reminds them to look, don't touch, but Splat finds himself making a great big-splat!
Fist Pump: An In-Your-Face Guide to Going Guido
by Guido DierioThis tongue-in-cheek manifesto is a humorous look at the nationOCOs hottest subculture, and the essential guide to achieve the guido lifestyle. Complete with sections on how to look and act like a guido, how to perform dance moves, interact with strangers, and behave at clubs like a guido, a complete guide to gui-dos and gui-donOCOts, and much moreOCofist-pump with the best of them and prepare yourself to reach maximum guidofication Also includes full-color images, graphs, and charts throughout "
Fist of Darkness!: A Max Load Novel
by C. M. GordonBack for another booze-fueled sex ride in old New Orleans, well-hung PI Max Load is hired by a pack of decadent Euro-hipsters to recover a mysterious wooden box with connections to Nazi Germany. But when he opens the box he discovers a desiccated fist with a swastika ring. When his clients turn up throat-bit and drained of blood, Max realizes he's run afoul of a deadly cult of neo-Nazi Vampires. They'll stop at nothing to get their hands back on their prize, The Fist of Darkness--a Black Forest/Voodoo relic--which may just hold the key to a forgotten Third Reich plot...a plot that could unleash horror on the entire city of New Orleans!
Fit to Be Dead (The Aggie Mundeen Mysteries #1)
by Nancy G. WestAn award-winning series debut! “The first humorous mystery in a series following Aggie Mundeen’s brush with the darker side of society” (Seattle Post-Intelligencer). Aggie Mundeen, single and pushing forty, fears nothing but middle age. When she moves from Chicago to San Antonio, she decides she better shape up before anybody discovers she writes the column, “Stay Young with Aggie.” She takes Aspects of Aging at the University of the Holy Trinity and plunges into exercise at Fit and Firm. Rusty at flirting and mechanically inept, she irritates a slew of male exercisers, then stumbles into murder. She’d like to impress the attractive detective with her sleuthing skills. But when the killer comes after her, the health club evacuates semi-clad patrons, and the detective has to stall his investigation to save Aggie’s derriere. CHANTICLEER AWARD WINNER, Mystery & MayhemLEFTY AWARD FINALIST, Best Humorous Mystery “Fit to Be Dead has it all: intriguing characters that point to romance, an engrossing plot, a compelling puzzle and well-disguised clues—a fun read.” —L. C. Hayden, award-winning author of the Harry Bronson Mysteries “West’s fine writing and clever plot reveal her mad sense of humor . . . [She] has produced a beautifully written book, brimming with wry humor, and a cleverly woven mystery in this perfectly-paced novel. Highly recommended!” —Kings River Life Magazine “Joining a health club has never been so dangerous . . . or so amusing.” —Karen McCullough, author of the Market Center Mysteries
Fitness Junkie: A Novel
by Jo Piazza Lucy SykesFrom the bestselling authors of The Knockoff, an outrageously funny novel about one woman's attempt—through clay diets, naked yoga, green juice, and cultish workout classes—to win back her career, save her best friend, and lose thirty pounds. When Janey Sweet, CEO of a couture wedding dress company, is photographed in the front row of a fashion show eating a bruffin—the delicious lovechild of a brioche and a muffin—her best friend and business partner, Beau, gives her an ultimatum: Lose thirty pounds or lose your job. Sure, Janey has gained some weight since her divorce, and no, her beautifully cut trousers don't fit like they used to, so Janey throws herself headlong into the world of the fitness revolution, signing up for a shockingly expensive workout pass, baring it all for Free the Nipple yoga, sweating through boot camp classes run by Sri Lankan militants and spinning to the screams of a Lycra-clad instructor with rage issues. At a juice shop she meets Jacob, a cute young guy who takes her dumpster-diving outside Whole Foods on their first date. At a shaman's tea ceremony she meets Hugh, a silver fox who holds her hand through an ayahuasca hallucination And at a secret exercise studio Janey meets Sara Strong, the wildly popular workout guru whose special dance routine has starlets and wealthy women flocking to her for results that seem too good to be true. As Janey eschews delicious carbs, pays thousands of dollars to charlatans, and is harassed by her very own fitness bracelet, she can't help but wonder: Did she really need to lose weight in the first place? A hilarious send-up of the health and wellness industry, Fitness Junkie is a glorious romp through the absurd landscape of our weight-obsessed culture.
Fits Like a Rubber Dress
by Roxane WardWhat does it take to squeeze into a second skin you think you want? And when you find you can’t breathe, who’s going to help you peel it off? In a celebrity-obsessed culture, when media images of women ( and women themselves ) appear to be driven by unreasonable expectations and demands, how does a 29-year-old woman fill that perfect little black dress? These questions are posed and answered in Roxane Ward’s debut novel, Fits Like a Rubber Dress, a hybrid of satire, social commentary, and tragedy. It’s the story of Indigo Blackwell, a woman who tries to reinvent herself as someone glamorous, and ends up travelling innocently through the underground world of drugs, fetish parties, and sadomasochistic sex. Indigo is married to Sam, a self-absorbed wannabe novelist. She’s bored by her career in public relations. The lives her friends lead are profoundly more interesting than her own limited existence. She realizes, the afternoon of her promotion, that the time has come for change: something bigger than a haircut, less extreme than a divorce. No sooner has she made the leap from financial security to the exhilarating uncertainty of film school, than she walks in the back door of her house, video camera in hand, to find another man’s head between her husband’s naked thighs. The camera keeps rolling as Indigo’s marriage dissolves. Alone for the first time, Indigo finds herself propelled into the kind of intense, urban life she’s always wanted. She begins an affair with Jon, a toxic young artist who treats his own life and the people in it as he would a sculpture, as things to manipulate. Fast approaching thirty, Indigo discovers that her new life doesn’t have to fit so tightly after all.
Fitz and Cleo Get Creative (A Fitz and Cleo Book #2)
by Jonathan StutzmanThe dynamo team behind Llama Destroys the World continue their delightful and hilarious ghostly hijinks in their early reader graphic novel series, perfect for fans of Elephant & Piggie and Narwhal & Jelly.Fitz and Cleo are:- Siblings (the closest)- Ghosts (the friendliest)- Best friends (the tightest)- Cat owners (Mister Boo approves..of Cleo)- And now bandmates (only the gnarliest!), writers (watch out Hemingway!), filmmakers (auteurs), artists (the list goes on?!)...These two know how to keep spirits high and the good times rolling! In their first-ever second book, join the most adorable apparitions this way of the afterlife through ten gut-busting creative farces, including flexing their storytelling muscles with ghost stories, songwriting, and directing their first film.
Fitz and Cleo Put a Party on It
by Jonathan StutzmanIt's time to celebrate in the third installment of the delightful and hilarious early reader graphic novel series, Fitz and Cleo, from the dynamo team behind Llama Destroys the World, perfect for fans of Elephant & Piggie and Narwhal & Jelly.Fitz and Cleo are in need of some excitement in their lives. How do they raise their spirits? With a party, of course! But what makes for the perfect celebration? Don't worry, the Party Squad is on the case! Don your silliest hat and get the confetti ready as our favorite pair of ghostly siblings (and Mister Boo!) discover the secrets to throwing the most epic shindig in their most festive adventures yet!
Five Children and It
by E. NesbitIn this classic tale of adventure and wish fulfillment, five city kids find the countryside to be filled with magic and wonder Be careful what you wish for. After two years cooped up in London, Cyril, Anthea, Robert, Jane, and their baby brother, “the Lamb,” are thrilled to be living in the country. The best thing about their new home is that there are no rules, no places that are off limits. One day while playing in a gravel pit, they uncover a fat, furry creature that has been asleep for thousands of years. The Sand-fairy, also known as It, grants them one wish a day, to be shared among them. At sunset, the wish will turn to stone. But every wish brings a disastrous result. When the children wish to be beautiful, no one recognizes them. When they wish to be rich, their gold doesn’t buy them anything. When they wish to be able to fly, they end up stuck on top of a church tower with no way to get down. Other wishes lead to a confrontation with Indians, a scuffle with kidnappers, and accusations of thievery. When the children beg the Sand-fairy for more wishes to set things right, It agrees—on the condition that they never ask for another wish again. E. Nesbit’s pioneering fantasy novel continues to delight new generations of young readers. This ebook has been professionally proofread to ensure accuracy and readability on all devices.
Five Days in Florence
by Lorraine Brown''Perfect poolside reading' PAIGE TOON'Enchanting, engaging and utterly romantic' MIKE GAYLE'No one does romance and travel like Lorraine Brown' ZOE FOLBIGGA fiancé. An old flame. And five days in Florence...Maddie is over the moon when her boyfriend Nick proposes in Paris. And spending five days in Florence with his family sounds like the perfect way to get to know her future in-laws.But Maddie is in for a rude awakening. Nick's parents are too posh for words, his daughter doesn't want to know her - and just why has his ex-wife come along?! And if that wasn't complicated enough, who should be at the same boutique hotel but Aidan, the one that got away two years ago...Who knew so much could happen in just five days in Florence?'A deliciously warm, gorgeous read that swept me off to Italy and had me falling head over heels for the characters' OLIVIA BEIRNE'Deliciously escapist, you will want to book that Italian holiday straight away' CAROLINE KHOURY'Touching, witty and charming, I loved it' NICOLE KENNEDY
Five Escape Brexit Island: Five Escape Brexit Island (eni Ebe: Five Escape Brexit Island
by Bruno VincentIt's a year after the Brexit vote. The four housemates and Timmy are on a visit to see their evil genius cousin Rupert. Rupert owns a chunk of the Jurassic Coast, part of which he has turned into an island and declared independence from Britain. Its fifteenth-century Dorset castle is a tourist attraction, but a computer hack puts the ancient fortifications into lockdown and plunges the Five into peril. Can our intrepid friends escape to the safety of mainland Europe?
Five Escape Brexit Island: Five Escape Brexit Island (eni Ebe: Five Escape Brexit Island
by Bruno VincentIt's a year after the Brexit vote. The four housemates and Timmy are on a visit to see their evil genius cousin Rupert. Rupert owns a chunk of the Jurassic Coast, part of which he has turned into an island and declared independence from Britain. Its fifteenth-century Dorset castle is a tourist attraction, but a computer hack puts the ancient fortifications into lockdown and plunges the Five into peril. Can our intrepid friends escape to the safety of mainland Europe?
Five Forget Mother's Day: Five Forget Mother's Day (enid
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to show Aunt Fanny how much she means to them.Join Julian, George, Dick, Anne and Timmy the dog as they try to celebrate Mother's Day with Aunt Fanny. George has past form in forgetting - not least her mum's birthday and Christmas presents - so tensions are running high even for the charged normality of their mother/daughter bond.But things go from bad to worse when Fanny comes to stay, with relations strained almost to breaking point. Can the Five save the day, and will Uncle Quentin get involved?
Five Get Beach Body Ready
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to hone their physiques ready for the summer holidays. All it will take is a bit of effort and willpower . . . and pulling together as a team. What could possibly stand in their way?True to form, the path to the body beautiful is less straightforward than they hope!(P)2017 Quercus Editions Limited
Five Get Beach Body Ready: Five Get Beach Body Ready (eni
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to hone their physiques ready for the summer holidays. All it will take is a bit of effort and willpower . . . and pulling together as a team. What could possibly stand in their way?True to form, the path to the body beautiful is less straightforward than they hope!
Five Get Beach Body Ready: Five Get Beach Body Ready (eni
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy are keen to hone their physiques ready for the summer holidays. All it will take is a bit of effort and willpower . . . and pulling together as a team. What could possibly stand in their way?True to form, the path to the body beautiful is less straightforward than they hope!
Five Get Gran Online: Five Get Gran Online (enid Bly Ebe: Five Get Gran Online (enid Blyton For Grown Ups � Quercus)
by Bruno Vincent'What operating system does your PC run on?' 'Electricity,' said Gran.From the author of Number One Christmas bestseller, Five on Brexit Island, join the Five in their next hilarious adventure in this bestselling series for grown-ups!The Five go north to see their grandmother who is alone over the Easter weekend. They're shocked to find it's been so long that they don't recognise her at all. While they're there, they try to help her with her computer. They try first to fix her iTunes account, and then her internet banking - after all it's the least they can do! However everything they touch turns to dust. They end up getting her cut off from the internet, the gas and the electricity, and reduced to a World War II-style privations - that is until the toddler from next door comes in and fixes everything. They return home somewhat with their tails between their legs, only to discover that with their help Gran has learned to make videos, and has become an internet sensation.
Five Get Gran Online: Five Get Gran Online (enid Bly Ebe: Five Get Gran Online (enid Blyton For Grown Ups � Quercus)
by Bruno Vincent'What operating system does your PC run on?' 'Electricity,' said Gran.From the author of Number One Christmas bestseller, Five on Brexit Island, join the Five in their next hilarious adventure in this bestselling series for grown-ups!The Five go north to see their grandmother who is alone over the Easter weekend. They're shocked to find it's been so long that they don't recognise her at all. While they're there, they try to help her with her computer. They try first to fix her iTunes account, and then her internet banking - after all it's the least they can do! However everything they touch turns to dust. They end up getting her cut off from the internet, the gas and the electricity, and reduced to a World War II-style privations - that is until the toddler from next door comes in and fixes everything. They return home somewhat with their tails between their legs, only to discover that with their help Gran has learned to make videos, and has become an internet sensation.
Five Get On the Property Ladder
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy turn their attention to finding a property they can call their very own.Join the Five as they struggle to get their feet (and paws) on the first rung of the property ladder. Luckily cousin Rupert is on hand to help. But not before they've had some very exciting adventures. Who knew that it was all going to be so difficult?
Five Get On the Property Ladder
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy turn their attention to finding a property they can call their very own.Join the Five as they struggle to get their feet (and paws) on the first rung of the property ladder. Luckily cousin Rupert is on hand to help. But not before they've had some very exciting adventures. Who knew that it was all going to be so difficult?
Five Give Up the Booze
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze.Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them?The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend. (P)2017 Quercus Editions Limited
Five Give Up the Booze: Five Give Up The Booze (enid B
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze.Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them?The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend.
Five Give Up the Booze: Five Give Up The Booze (enid B
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy confront a new challenge: give up the booze.Give up alcohol you say? Why, of course they can! Talk about an easy challenge! Five old friends set about this simple task and find all of a sudden that: the days are longer; they get to see each other for who they really are; the empty laughter of ordinary conversation is so much harder to fake. Yes, they're saving money and losing weight, but the world itself seems to take on a slow, dreary inevitability. Soon they begin to snap at each other, and then fight - until they begin to wonder, have the Five at last found the challenge that will defeat them?The perfect gift for anyone who has woken up and promised themselves that they will never drink again. Or at least until next weekend.
Five Go Absolutely Nowhere
by Bruno Vincent'Ah! This is the dream!' says Julian one morning. 'With good old British common sense and community spirit like this, there's no reason that we couldn't exist on the island like this for the rest of our days!'What could possibly go wrong . . .?Anne has gathered Julian, Dick, George and, of course, Timmy, together for a last nostalgic jaunt in the countryside together before grown-up responsibilities take the four cousins off in different directions. It's only natural that they find their way onto Kirrin Island for a look around, as this might be the last time they're here together as a group. They are planning just to spend the night there and come home the next day, perhaps with a little exploring in the dungeon for old time's sake. But that night they hear the country has gone into lockdown. They are not allowed to leave. With their usual resourcefulness, they are determined to make the best of it, and remain cheerful and healthy. As Anne keeps saying: They're lucky, really, to have all this countryside and fresh air at their disposal!
Five Go Bump in the Night: Five Go Bump In The Night (eni Ebe: Five Go Bump In The Night (enid Blyton For Grown Ups � Quercus)
by Bruno VincentEnid Blyton's books are beloved the world over and The Famous Five have been the perennial favourite of her fans. Now, in this new series of Enid Blyton for Grown-Ups, George, Dick, Anne, Julian and Timmy go camping in the deep dark woods. Sleep does not come easily, so they have the brilliant idea of telling each other spooky stories.Join the Five as they scare themselves witless recounting tales that would terrify the bravest of souls. From encounters with American werewolves and being lost in space, to ghostly graveyard apparitions, it is hardly surprising that there is a sleepless night ahead of the intrepid crew. Even grumpy old Uncle Quentin and kind Aunt Fanny cannot be relied upon to be entirely themselves . . .