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A Perfectly Messed-Up Story
by Patrick McdonnellIn this interactive and engaging picture book, bestselling author and award-winning artist Patrick McDonnell creates a funny, engaging, and almost perfect story about embracing life's messes.Features Read-Aloud/Read-to-Me functionality where available.Little Louie's story keeps getting messed up, and he's not happy about it! What's the point of telling his tale if he can't tell it perfectly? But when he stops and takes a deep breath, he realizes that everything is actually just fine, and his story is a good one--imperfections and all.
A Pet Named Anxiety: Life with the World's Cutest Companion from Hell
by Sylvie SwenniIs your anxiety running? Well, you better go catch it! Adult anxiety is off its leash again. Sylvie Swenni's A Pet Named Anxiety, featuring illustrations by Paula Bossio, is a book of lighthearted validation of the outlandish ways that anxiety sticks its nose where it doesn’t belong and then seems to run off with reckless abandonIs this Anxiety up with the sun? Sure is. Does it have a filter, care about your boundaries or your personal space, or consider future consequences of its actions? Not a chance! It also binge eats, runs up credit card bills, texts your ex—texts everyone, for that matter—digs holes it can’t get out of, drinks too much, and gets riled up at work. But as much as this thing wears you out like a mortifyingly bad puppy, it’s got its quirks and its charms. A Pet Named Anxiety knows that this exhausting little hellbeast is here for the chaos, but at least you’re not alone!
A Pet for Fly Guy (Fly Guy)
by Tedd ArnoldWhat is the right pet for Fly Guy? In the first zany, hilarious Fly Guy picture book, Buzz tries to help Fly Guy find the right pet. It seems that everyone else at the park has a pet, so Fly Guy wants one, too. A dog licked Fly Guy. A frog chased Fly Guy. A cricket was too jumpy. Who will be the best pet for Fly Guy? Kids will love Fly Guy and Buzz's wacky search for the right pet. Tedd Arnold's signature illustration style and fun story will appeal to fans of the NEW YORK TIMES bestselling Fly Guy reader series as well as young readers discovering Fly Guy for the first time.
A Pet for Fly Guy (Fly Guy)
by Tedd ArnoldWhat is the right pet for Fly Guy?In the first zany, hilarious Fly Guy picture book, Buzz tries to help Fly Guy find the right pet. It seems that everyone else at the park has a pet, so Fly Guy wants one, too. A dog licked Fly Guy. A frog chased Fly Guy. A cricket was too jumpy. Who will be the best pet for Fly Guy?Kids will love Fly Guy and Buzz's wacky search for the right pet. Tedd Arnold's signature illustration style and fun story will appeal to fans of the NEW YORK TIMES bestselling Fly Guy reader series as well as young readers discovering Fly Guy for the first time.
A Pho Love Story
by Loan Le&“Will leave readers swooning.&” —PopSugar When Dimple Met Rishi meets Ugly Delicious in this funny, smart romantic comedy, in which two Vietnamese American teens fall in love and must navigate their newfound relationship amid their families&’ age-old feud about their competing, neighboring restaurants.If Bao Nguyen had to describe himself, he&’d say he was a rock. Steady and strong, but not particularly interesting. His grades are average, his social status unremarkable. He works at his parents&’ pho restaurant, and even there, he is his parents&’ fifth favorite employee. Not ideal. If Linh Mai had to describe herself, she&’d say she was a firecracker. Stable when unlit, but full of potential for joy and fire. She loves art and dreams pursuing a career in it. The only problem? Her parents rely on her in ways they&’re not willing to admit, including working practically full-time at her family&’s pho restaurant. For years, the Mais and the Nguyens have been at odds, having owned competing, neighboring pho restaurants. Bao and Linh, who&’ve avoided each other for most of their lives, both suspect that the feud stems from feelings much deeper than friendly competition. But then a chance encounter brings Linh and Bao in the same vicinity despite their best efforts and sparks fly, leading them both to wonder what took so long for them to connect. But then, of course, they immediately remember. Can Linh and Bao find love in the midst of feuding families and complicated histories?
A Phule and His Money: Amusement Parks—The Final Frontier (Phule's Company)
by Peter J. Heck Robert AsprinFrom a New York Times bestseller, a commander leads a legion of misfits as they create an amusement park on another planet in this sci-fi comedy. Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule&’s Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into . . . a crack team of casino security guards. Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise—goofing off—than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever? Praise for the Phule&’s Company series: &“A winning story . . . part science fiction, part spoof, part heart-warmer.&” —Publishers Weekly &“Madcap . . . a welcome sendup of military sf.&” —Booklist &“Light without being frivolous, and displays Asprin&’s considerable expertise about fencing and things military, especially leadership.&” —Chicago Sun-Times &“Reminiscent of &‘M*A*S*H.&’&” —Analog Science Fiction and Fact Magazine
A Piano In The Pyrenees: The Ups and Downs of an Englishman in the French Mountains
by Tony Hawks'If you had to pick two things you wanted - if you had to - what would you pick?'I hesitated. This was a bigger question than usually got asked at these post-match debriefs. 'I suppose the honest answer would be,' I said, still accessing the last pieces of required data from a jumbled mind, 'meeting my soul mate, and finding an idyllic house abroad somewhere.'Inspired by breathtaking views and romantic dreams of finding love in the mountains, Tony Hawks impulsively buys a house in the French Pyrenees. Here, he plans to finally fulfil his childhood fantasy of mastering the piano, untroubled by the problems of the world. In reality, the chaotic story of Tony's hopelessly ill-conceived house purchase reads like the definitive guide to how not to buy a house in France. It finds him flirting with the removal business in a disastrous attempt to transport his piano to France in a dodgy white van; foolishly electing to build a swimming pool himself; and expanding his relationship repertoire when he starts co-habiting, not with an exquisite French beauty, but with a middle-aged builder from West London.As Tony and his friends haplessly attempt to fit into village life, they learn more about themselves and each other than they ever imagined.
A Piece of Normal
by Sandi Kahn SheltonDear Lily . . . At age thirty-four, Lily Brown has her life just the way she likes it. And what's not to like? She's got a great job as an advice columnist for the local newspaper, an adorable four-year-old son, and an ex-husband, Teddy, who still thinks she's wonderful. She even lives in the same beach house where she grew up, with a great view of Long Island Sound and plenty of beach roses to smell. So what if she won't let herself date anyone until she finds a new girlfriend for Teddy, who happens to still be hung up on her? So what if she hasn't changed a thing in her parents' house, even twelve years after their tragic deaths? So what if it's been ten years since she's heard from her younger sister, Dana, who stormed out of the house in a rage when she was a teenager? Lily is fine. But it's funny how life has a way of upsetting even the most perfectly laid-out plans, and when one night Lily finds herself painting ghastly orange highlights into her lovely auburn hair, even she suspects that she's been in something of a rut. And then, when her long-lost little sister shows up, bringing with her the fun and drama and hell-raising spontaneity Lily has missed, her life suddenly takes a turn for the unexpected. To Lily's chagrin, Dana's energy seems to enthrall everyone, especially Teddy. As the tension between the sisters escalates, Dana reveals decades-old family secrets that she's been burdened with all these years, and Dear Lily must heed her own advice about accepting life's messiness and chaos. With her trademark blend of sparkling wit and characters you can't forget, Sandi Kahn Shelton tells a compelling and universal story of two sisters who learn what they need to let go of, and what they have to hold on to as tightly as they can.
A Pig Parade Is a Terrible Idea
by Michael Ian BlackExplains precisely why, although it may sound like a good idea, gathering hundreds of pigs to march in a parade through one's hometown is inadvisable.
A Pig, a Fox, and Stinky Socks (Penguin Young Readers, Level 2)
by Jonathan FenskeThe stars of Jonathan Fenske's 2016 Theodor Seuss Geisel Honor book, A Pig, a Fox, and a Box, are back!Pig and Fox are back—and so are their shenanigans! Told in a silly three-part story, A Pig, a Fox, and Stinky Socks begins with a prank, with Fox "gifting" Pig with a pair of stinky socks. But what happens when his plan goes awry and the shoe (or sock!) is on the other foot? With comical art and simple language, Pig and Fox's antics in this Level 2 reader will continue to crack kids up.
A Pig, a Fox, and a Box (Penguin Young Readers, Level 2)
by Jonathan FenskeIn the style of Mo Willems, Jonathan Fenske tells three humorous stories of two friends, Pig and Fox, and their shenanigans with a cardboard box (all of which involved Pig accidentally crushing Fox in the box). With comic art and simple language, this Level 2 reader is sure to have kids rolling with laughter.
A Pinch of Cool
by Mary LeoA pinch of cool.A dash of sass.A cup of lust.Mix, stir and repeat.When trend-spotter and supreme-style-guru Mya Strano is called in to rescue her mother’s cooking show from ratings oblivion, what she has in mind is a little seasoning to heighten the taste. That’s the plan. Until she discovers that it’s her childhood nemesis, Eric Baldini, whom she’s up against. He’s got a few ideas of his own that sound like a recipe for disaster in her expert opinion. And the two of them in the same kitchen? Never!Still, she’s noticed that for someone who really works at being anti-hip, this guy has a way of making her divinely hot. Which makes him so cool that this fashionista is actually toying with the idea of trading in her designer gear for oven mitts and an apron.... Ouch!
A Pinch of Phoenix (The Mystic Cooking Chronicles)
by Heidi Lang Kati BartkowskiWith elves waging war on scientists, it’s up to thirteen-year-old master chef Lailu Loganberry to save both her restaurant and her city in this final book in The Mystic Cooking Chronicles, which Kirkus Reviews calls “perfect for Top Chef fans with a penchant for the fantastical.”Lailu is in hot water. After the events of the Week of Masks, Wren keeps sending insect-like automatons to attack Lailu. However, they’re more irritating than dangerous, and Lailu is more worried about the elves, who have been quiet so far. Too quiet. When Lailu heads out of the city on a hunt with Greg, the elves finally strike. They put up a magical shield separating the Velvet Forest from the rest of the city. Now no human can enter…and unfortunately for Lailu and Greg, no human can leave, either. Ryon shows up to save them both, claiming they were caught unintentionally, but Lailu isn’t sure she believes him. Tensions between the elves and the scientists are reaching a boiling point, and the question is which side will snap first. And in the middle of it all is Lailu. Trusted by both sides, she’s selected to deliver messages and help negotiate a truce between the parties before war becomes inevitable. Easy as pie, right? Not so much. Lailu’s new role as mediator may be one recipe that's headed for disaster!
A Pizza With Everything On It
by Kyle ScheeleOne father-son duo make a pizza so delicious, and so over-the-top with toppings, that it destroys the universe—and will surely melt readers' minds and hearts, like warm mozzarella.It's a tale as old as time: a kid wants to make a pizza with his dad, but not just any pizza . . . he wants a pizza with everything on it. That's right, everything. But as the toppings pile on, this father-son duo accidentally create a pizza so delicious, so extravagant, so over-the-top, that it destroys the universe—and the cosmos go as dark as burnt crust. Will anyone enjoy pizza ever again? At turns heartwarming, hilarious, and completely out of this world, Kyle Scheele and Andy J. Pizza deliver a riotous adventure that will melt readers minds and hearts and leave them calling for a second helping.• FATHER'S DAY GIFTING: This heartwarming and hilarious portrait of a memorable father-son bonding experience is the perfect way to show appreciation to the tough-to-buy-for dad all year round, and especially on Father's Day!• FOOD-THEMED HILARITY: A mouthwatering and laugh-out-loud funny story of culinary catastrophe! This book is for fans of food-themed classics like Green Eggs and Ham, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.• ELEMENT OF CHAOS: Starting with something as relatable as pizza toppings, and culminating in the destruction of the universe, the escalating silliness is literally out of this world. For anyone who loves books that celebrate the absurd and chaotic, like Dragons Love Tacos or Llama Destroys the World.• TIMELESS QUALITY: A classic family-bonding moment—making pizza—leads to memorable father-son adventure, with a heartwarming and satisfying ending ensuring countless rereads.• PIZZA: Universal and delicious.Perfect for:• Anyone who likes pizza• Fathers looking for a lighthearted book to share with their kids• Fans of the absurd, chaotic, and hilarious• Foodies and their children• Anyone looking for wholesome family stories about family bonding• Fans of Dragons Love Tacos and Llama Destroys the World
A Pizza the Size of the Sun
by Jack PrelutskyJack Prelutsky is widely acknowledged as the poet laureate of the younger generation. (And many people would happily see him crowned with no age qualification.) The New Kid on the Block and Something Big Has Been Here are household words wherever there are kids. Here is another wondrously rich, varied, clever - and always funny - collection. Meet Miss Misinformation, Swami Gourami, and Gladiola Gloppe (and her Soup Shoppe), and delight in a backwards poem, a poem that ever ends, and scores of others that will be changed, read, and loved by readers of every age.
A Place Called Hope: A Novel (Hope #1)
by Philip GulleyWhen Quaker Pastor Sam Gardner is asked by the ill Unitarian minister to oversee a wedding in his place, Sam naturally agrees. It's not until the couple stands before him that he realizes they're two women. In the tempest of strong opinions and misunderstandings that follows the incident, Sam faces potential unemployment. Deeply discouraged, he wonders if his pastoral usefulness has come to an end. Perhaps it's time for a change. After all, his wife has found a new job at the library, his elder son is off to college, and the younger has decided to join the military once he graduates high school. Sam is contemplating a future selling used cars when he receives a call from a woman in the suburban town of Hope, Indiana. It seems Hope Friends Meeting is in desperate need of a pastor. Though they only have twelve members, they also have a beautiful meetinghouse and a pie committee (Sam is fond of pie). But can he really leave his beloved hometown of Harmony?
A Place to Begin Again: A magically heartwarming and uplifting romance
by Kate FieldReaders LOVE Kate's utterly heartwarming debut!***** 'Exceptional depth to the characters and a beautiful story. Loved loved loved it' - Amazon***** '...lively, fluid writing, a cracking plot, and the most magical of characters that will truly warm your heart' - Amazon***** 'I absolutely loved it, and I mean I really loved it, it may be one of my favourite reads of 2017' - Amazon***** 'A treasure of a book, able to lift the reader out of time and wrap them in a different world' - Amazon***** 'A lovely heartwarming read with a beautiful setting' - Amazon_______________Running away can be the answer if you run to the right place...When Cassie accepts a job as companion to an old lady in a remote Lancashire village, she hopes for a quiet life where she can forget herself, her past and most especially men. The last thing she wants is to be drawn into saving a community that seems determined to take her to its heart - and to resuscitate hers...Frances has lived a reclusive life at Ramblings, a Victorian Gothic mansion, for over thirty years and now Barney is hiding away there, forging a new life after his medical career ended in scandal. He doesn't trust the mysterious woman who comes to live with his rich aunt, especially when she starts to steal Frances' affection - and maybe his own too..._______________A beautifully written, escapist tale of love and friendship, complimented by unpredictable twists and turns! Perfect for fans of Jill Mansell and Heidi Swain
A Place to Begin Again: A magically heartwarming and uplifting romance
by Kate FieldReaders LOVE Kate's utterly heartwarming debut!***** 'Exceptional depth to the characters and a beautiful story. Loved loved loved it' - Amazon***** '...lively, fluid writing, a cracking plot, and the most magical of characters that will truly warm your heart' - Amazon***** 'I absolutely loved it, and I mean I really loved it, it may be one of my favourite reads of 2017' - Amazon***** 'A treasure of a book, able to lift the reader out of time and wrap them in a different world' - Amazon***** 'A lovely heartwarming read with a beautiful setting' - Amazon_______________Running away can be the answer if you run to the right place...When Cassie accepts a job as companion to an old lady in a remote Lancashire village, she hopes for a quiet life where she can forget herself, her past and most especially men. The last thing she wants is to be drawn into saving a community that seems determined to take her to its heart - and to resuscitate hers...Frances has lived a reclusive life at Ramblings, a Victorian Gothic mansion, for over thirty years and now Barney is hiding away there, forging a new life after his medical career ended in scandal. He doesn't trust the mysterious woman who comes to live with his rich aunt, especially when she starts to steal Frances' affection - and maybe his own too..._______________A beautifully written, escapist tale of love and friendship, complimented by unpredictable twists and turns! Perfect for fans of Jill Mansell and Heidi Swain
A Place with Briar
by Amber Leigh WilliamsHe's in some serious trouble Cole Savitt does not want to deceive Briar Browning. But if he hopes to see his son again, he has to find the weaknesses in her charming bed-and-breakfast, then get out of town fast! But the quaint inn isn't the only thing charming him.... Cole's straightforward plan becomes anything but when he begins to fall for the beautiful innkeeper. Suddenly everything's on the line-his future with his son, a chance at happiness and the love of a good woman. Cole must rethink his priorities...and the stakes have never been higher.
A Planet for the President
by Alistair BeatonThis is a story written over a decade ago.Before Fake News, or Alternative Facts, or even social media.It told the story of a not-too-distant future, which really was not too distant.*The President of the United States is facing a global catastrophe.The environment is in meltdown. People are dying. Americans are dying.Even he can't ignore it.There's hardly a corner of the world that isn't in crisis.And that's when he's persuaded of a truth his advisers hold to be self-evident: That it's time to think the unthinkable.The problem isn't power, or politics, or the planet, or the President.It's the People.*Hilarious and horrifying - this enormously entertaining satire has never been more razor-sharp, revelatory or relevant. What readers are saying about this hilarious, critically acclaimed novel:'For anyone who likes laughs and thrills in one package and who's been following recent developments in the White House this is an absolute must.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 stars'This political and satirical novel manages to be both thrilling and funny. And, given its prescience, scary too. The characters, the setting and the plot are fantastic and believable. A real page turner.' Amazon Reviewer,5 stars'A frighteningly plausible thriller, which imagines what might happen if the White House were finally to believe that something had to be done about global warming ... clever, funny and a really good read.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 stars'This thriller is packed with good jokes and tells a tale that is utterly credible. Parts were jaw-droppingly frightening and I wished I could have put it down but thesharp humour and pacey plot made me keep reading. It's a laugh and a chiller in one book.' Amazon Reviewer,5 stars
A Planet for the President: A Novel
by Alistair Beaton'For anyone who likes laughs and thrills in one package and who's been following recent developments in the White House this is an absolute must.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 starsIt is the near future and things are not going well for the President of the United States. He wants Americans to be adored by everyone but half the planet seems to be in a permanent state of insurrection against US power. What's more, there's a growing environmental crisis that even he can't ignore. It's one thing when there are floods in Bangladesh, quite another when almost 2,000 Americans die in flooding in Texas.His advisers warn him he could be remembered as the President who wrecked the planet.The President is persuaded of one simple fact: there are too many people in the world. Only radical action can deal with the problem. His advisors come up with a solution more ruthless than anything ever contemplated before. Appalled, the president refuses to go along with their plan.But it isn't long before he is committed to thinking the unthinkable ...****************What readers are saying about this hilarious, critically acclaimed novel:'This political and satirical novel manages to be both thrilling and funny. And, given its prescience, scary too. The characters, the setting and the plot are fantastic and believable. A real page turner.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 stars'A frighteningly plausible thriller, which imagines what might happen if the White House were finally to believe that something had to be done about global warming ... clever, funny and a really good read.' Amazon Reviewer, 5 stars'This thriller is packed with good jokes and tells a tale that is utterly credible. Parts were jaw-droppingly frightening and I wished I could have put it down but thesharp humour and pacey plot made me keep reading. It's a laugh and a chiller in one book.' Amazon Reviewer,5 stars
A Pocket Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue
by Captain Francis GroseA profane guide to the slang from eighteenth-century London&’s backstreets and taverns and how to use the antique jargon and curse words in modern conversation. This slang dictionary gathers the most amusing and useful terms from English history and helpfully presents them to be used in the conversations of today. Originally published in 1785, A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue was one of the first lexicons of English slang, compiled by a militia captain who collected the terms he overheard on his late-night excursions to London&’s slums, dockyards, and taverns. Now the legacy lives on in this colorful pocket dictionary. Learn the origin of phrases like &“birthday suit&” and discover slang lost to time An unexpected marriage of lowbrow humor and highbrow wit A Pocket Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue is perfect for enlivening contemporary conversation with historical phrases; it includes a topical list of words for money, drunkenness, the amorous congress, male and female naughty bits, and so on. A funny book for wordplay, language, swearing, and insult fans, as well as fans of British humor and culture Perfect for those who loved How to Speak Brit: The Quintessential Guide to the King&’s English, Cockney Slang, and Other Flummoxing British Phrases by Christopher J. Moore; Knickers in a Twist: A Dictionary of British Slang by Jonathan Bernstein; and The Official Dictionary of Sarcasm by James Napoli
A Political Romance
by Laurence SterneLaurence Sterne was an Irish-born English novelist and an Anglican clergyman. He is best known for his novels The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman, and A Sentimental Journey Through France and Italy; but he also published many sermons, wrote memoirs, and was involved in local politics. Sterne died in London after years of fighting consumption.
A Pond Full of Ink
by Annie M. G. SchmidtTwelve amusing poems by the &“queen of Dutch children&’s literature,&” paired with charming illustrations of reindeer houseguests, mischievous little girls, ever-singing tea kettles, and more.This delightful poetry collection offers children and the young at heart a refreshing, inventive look at the world from the well-known Dutch author Annie Schmidt. The rollicking poems tell the stories of such intriguing characters as Aunt Sue and Uncle Steve who nest up in a tree, animated furniture that comes to life when no one is home, and three elderly otters who long to go boating but find themselves biking instead!Much like the work of Shel Silverstein or Jack Prelutsky, Annie M.G. Schmidt&’s poetry can transform ordinary events and places into extraordinary adventures full of imagination. Accompanying the poems is bold and expressive artwork that makes this book too charming to resist.