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How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane: And Other Lessons in Parenting from a Highly Questionable Source
by Johanna SteinAs Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) points out, "These stories will make milk shoot from one of your nostrils and a martini from the other. Johanna Stein brings to mind the unflinching honesty and compassion of Nora Ephron."Looking for the perfect book to help you survive childbirth and parenting with your sanity intact? Look elsewhere. For Johanna Stein, parenting is an extreme sport. Her stories from the trenches may not always be shared experiences-have you ever turned a used airplane barf-bag into a puppet to calm your wailing baby?-but they will always make you laugh. Columnist Lisa Belkin advises: "It is dangerous to read [Johanna] any place where it is inappropriate to laugh uncontrollably. It is also dangerous to read her if your bladder control is not what it once was. But once you soldier through and do read her you have made a friend-one who 'gets it' and makes 'it' easier to do because she's on your team."So, no, this book won't teach you how to deal with nipple blisters or oedipal complexes. But if you want to learn why you should never attempt to play a practical joke in the delivery room, then you're in the right place.
How Not to Chaperone a Lady: A Steamy Historical Romance Book (The Talk of the Beau Monde)
by Virginia HeathHis childhood nemesis… …is the woman he can&’t resist! Chaperoning Charity Brookes while she&’s on a singing tour should be easy for Griffith Philpot—he&’s spent his whole life sparring with her over her flighty ways! But as he discovers that she&’s much more than the impetuous girl he thought he knew, a passion ignites between them… Sharing a steamy kiss leaves him torn—he&’s supposed to be responsible for guarding her virtue! Previously published Discover all 3 charming titles in The Talk of the Beau Monde collection: The Viscount&’s Unconventional Lady The Marquess Next Door How Not to Chaperone a Lady
How Not to Disappear
by Clare FurnissA pregnant teen and her gin sling loving great-aunt go on the journey of a lifetime in this &“absolutely gorgeous, heartfelt, and incredibly enjoyable&” (Robin Stevens, author of Murder Most Unladylike) novel that shows what happens when you&’re on the brink of losing everything.Our memories are what make us who we are. Some are real. Some are made up. But they are the stories that tell us who we are. Without them we are nobody. Hattie&’s summer is not going according to plan. Her two best friends have abandoned her: Reuben has run off to Europe to &“find himself&” and Kat is in Edinburgh with her new girlfriend. Meanwhile Hattie is stuck babysitting her twin siblings and dealing with the endless drama surrounding her mother&’s wedding. And she&’s also just discovered that she&’s pregnant with Reuben&’s baby. Then Gloria—Hattie&’s great-aunt who no one even knew existed—comes crashing into her life. Gloria&’s fiercely independent, rather too fond of a gin sling, and is in the early stages of dementia. Together the two of them set out on a road trip of self-discovery—Gloria to finally confront the secrets of her past before they are erased from her memory forever and Hattie to face the hard choices that will determine her future.
How Not to Drown: A Novel
by Jaimee WristonFrom WILLA Literary Award-winning author Jaimee Wriston comes a novel for fans of Jami Attenberg and Elizabeth Strout about a former model whose undisciplined granddaughter turns her fastidious, controlled life upside down, forcing her to confront what she values.Amelia MacQueen has lost her favorite son, Gavin, to a suspicious drowning, for which her daughter-in-law has been convicted. She&’s been awarded temporary custody of Gavin and Cassie's twelve-year-old daughter, Heaven, a name that makes Amelia cringe. Reluctantly, she takes Heaven in, but asks the girl to call her Grandmelia instead of Grandma, a name that doesn't make Amelia feel quite so old.The daughter of drug addicts, who has long been left to her own devices, Heaven does not appreciate her grandmother&’s constant critical ministrations, and the pair quickly butt heads. She instead bonds with Uncle Daniel, Amelia's older, agoraphobic son, who never leaves his bedroom. Through the wall between their rooms, Daniel spins Celtic tales for Heaven from the Isle of Skye, where the family's ancestors lived, including fifteen-year-old Maggie, who mysteriously disappeared crossing the Atlantic many years ago. Heaven decides that the best way to deal with bullying at school is to become a siren from one of Uncle Daniels's stories. She sings "drowning songs" in the swim team pool, luring mean girl Bethany Harrison under at the deep end. Then, Amelia comes home one day to find her granddaughter serving Oreos to the cops who picked her up for "snaking" junk food from the neighborhood. As much as Amelia loved Gavin, Heaven is the last thing Amelia would have asked for, but when Heaven goes missing during a dangerous storm one night, Amelia is forced to reexamine her outlook on family. In vivid prose, Jaimee Wriston tells a wry multi-generational tale of redemption, exploring the bonds that make and break a family and the transformative power of storytelling.
How Not to Embarrass Your Kids: 250 Don'ts for Parents of Teens
by Zack Elias Travis GoldmanA guide for parents of teenagers.
How Not to F*** Them Up
by Oliver JamesAs a mother, are you comfortable in your skin?Want to know how best to be a stay-at-home or working mum?Babies have very simple needs, yet many parents are overwhelmed with elaborate advice on how to meet them. In How Not to F*** Them Up, leading child psychologist Oliver James argues that your under-threes do not need training; it's getting your head straight as a parent that's important.Drawing on extensive interviews and the lastest clinical research, James identifies three basic types of mum: the Hugger, the Organiser and the Fleximum. Outlining the benefits and pitfalls of each, How Not to F*** Them Up shows you how to recognise which style suits you best and outlines simple strategies to reconcile personal ambitions with the needs of your family.Empowering and provocative, Oliver James will help you make the best choices for bringing up a happy, confident child.
How Not to Marry an Earl (Those Scandalous Stricklands #2)
by Christine MerrillShe much prefers an American stranger over the earl she’s meant to marry—but a surprise awaits . . .To escape marriage to the newly inherited Earl of Comstock, bookish Charity, the plainest of the Strickland sisters, must find her family’s missing diamonds.She meets her match in an intellectual stranger auditing the estate . . . not knowing he is Lord Comstock himself!With him, Charity feels different—even desirable! But will seizing one night of passion bind her to the very man she’s determined to avoid?Praise for the romance of Christine Merrill“Readers will enjoy the strong characters, swift pace, lively wit and the wickedly fun escapades that stubborn lovers can get into.” —RT Book Reviews
How Not to Propose to a Duke (A Season of Celebration #1)
by Louise AllenIn celebration of Harlequin&’s 75th year, we bring you A Season of Celebration! Beginning with this captivating Regency romance…Miss Danby&’s daring proposition for the duke First, wealthy ironmaster&’s daughter Jessica Danby needs a titled husband. So, upon learning that Alexander, the Duke of Malvern, needs a rich wife, she makes a convenient proposal… Next, her impetuous marriage offer is swiftly rejected by Alex, who wants to marry for love! Now Jessica accepts his help in finding another suitor. But as they spend the Season by each other&’s side, she realizes that their unlikely friendship is becoming something more thrilling!From Harlequin Historical: Your romantic escape to the past.A Season of CelebrationBook 1: How Not to Propose to a Duke by Louise AllenBook 2: Wed in Haste to the Duke by Sarah MalloryBook 3: The Kiss That Made Her Countess by Laura Martin
How Not to Raise a Perfect Child
by Libby PurvesA perfect child:* Dresses neatly and practises the violin before breakfast* Comes top of the class and is captain of everything* Is unfailingly obedient and sweet-tempered* Is a perfect credit to its perfect motherA real child:* Prefers shoelaces undone and mismatched socks* Shouts 'Bum!' at Granny* Turns breakfast and bedtime into a battleground* Is the normal offspring of imperfect parentsWith affectionate lack of illusion and a refreshing honesty about her own shortcomings, Libby Purves examines the pleasures and pitfalls of raising children from three to eight years old. Playgroup, starting school, rude words, pets - all these topics are tackled with frank good humour and down-to-earth advice.Best of all is her reassuring reminder that there is no such thing as a perfect child.
How Not to Raise a Perfect Child
by Libby PurvesA perfect child:* Dresses neatly and practises the violin before breakfast* Comes top of the class and is captain of everything* Is unfailingly obedient and sweet-tempered* Is a perfect credit to its perfect motherA real child:* Prefers shoelaces undone and mismatched socks* Shouts 'Bum!' at Granny* Turns breakfast and bedtime into a battleground* Is the normal offspring of imperfect parentsWith affectionate lack of illusion and a refreshing honesty about her own shortcomings, Libby Purves examines the pleasures and pitfalls of raising children from three to eight years old. Playgroup, starting school, rude words, pets - all these topics are tackled with frank good humour and down-to-earth advice.Best of all is her reassuring reminder that there is no such thing as a perfect child.
How Not to be A Perfect Family
by Libby PurvesPerfect Families: * Tick off museums in the guidebook* Tidy everything away neatly* Work hard and play fair* Show respect for one anotherReal Families: * Start fights in the Louvre * Keep all their worldly goods on the stairs and in the kitchen * Do their homework on the school bus and cheat at Monopoly* Tie the shoelaces of sleeping uncles together after Christmas dinnerWith her customary humour and reliably robust commonsense, Libby Purves celebrates family life in all its aspects. Her accounts of sibling rivalry and the pitfalls of family Christmas will provoke rueful laughter and strike chords of recognition; her practical tips on dealing with everything from marriage maintenance to money matters, testing times to trips and treats, provide essential help for the hard-pressed parent. Best of all is her reassuring reminder that no one else has a perfect family either!
How Not to be a Hypocrite: School Choice for the Morally Perplexed Parent
by Adam SwiftHow not to be a hypocrite: the indispensable guide to school choice that morally perplexed parents have been waiting for.Many of us believe in social justice and equality of opportunity - but we also want the best for our kids. How can we square our political principles with our special concern for our own children? This marvellous book takes us through the moral minefield that is school choice today.Does a commitment to social justice mean you have to send your children to the local comprehensive - regardless of its academic results? Is it hypocritical to disapprove of private schools and yet send your child to one? Some parents feel guilty but shouldn't. Others should feel guilty but don't. Read How Not to be a Hypocrite, then answer the questionnaire, and work out where you stand on this crucial issue.
How Rude!: The Teen Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out
by Alex J. Packer<P>Explaining etiquette from A (“Applause”) to Z (“Zits”), Alex J. Packer blends outrageous humor with sound advice as he guides readers and explains why manners and etiquette are important—because people who know how to handle themselves in social situations come out on top, get what they want, feel good about themselves, and enjoy life to the fullest.<P>Full of practical tips for every occasion, How Rude!® is a serious etiquette encyclopedia—and a hilarious read.<P> In 480 pages, this revised and updated edition describes the basics of polite behavior in all kinds of situations at home, in school, online, and in the world.
How Should a Christian Date?: It's Not as Complicated as You Think
by Eric DemeterPitch the Christian dating rulebook out the window. There&’s a better way!No matter what you might have heard, God didn&’t mandate a divine way to date. What He did do, in the Bible, is lay out principles for wise and healthy relational living among believers. His boundaries for us are wise and good. But exactly how you apply God&’s principles to your dating life is up to you to figure out. All you need is guidance, not micromanagement.How Should a Christian Date? doesn&’t try to boss you around. It just offers wisdom about the relevant principles in God&’s Word. Eric Demeter—a single guy who has given this subject a lot of thought—separates the truths of Scripture from the baggage of Christian dating subculture. He talks to you like a big brother or favorite uncle, not your mother. You&’ll cover topics such as:Busting 12 Myths of Christian DatingHow to Meet People & Have a Good First DateClearing the Fog in Sex and Physical AffectionGetting the Best from a BreakupTake Dating One Stage at a TimeThere isn&’t one &“Christian&” way to date. But there are ways that Christians should handle themselves while dating . . . and those are the truths to live by.
How Should a Christian Date?: It's Not as Complicated as You Think
by Eric DemeterPitch the Christian dating rulebook out the window. There&’s a better way!No matter what you might have heard, God didn&’t mandate a divine way to date. What He did do, in the Bible, is lay out principles for wise and healthy relational living among believers. His boundaries for us are wise and good. But exactly how you apply God&’s principles to your dating life is up to you to figure out. All you need is guidance, not micromanagement.How Should a Christian Date? doesn&’t try to boss you around. It just offers wisdom about the relevant principles in God&’s Word. Eric Demeter—a single guy who has given this subject a lot of thought—separates the truths of Scripture from the baggage of Christian dating subculture. He talks to you like a big brother or favorite uncle, not your mother. You&’ll cover topics such as:Busting 12 Myths of Christian DatingHow to Meet People & Have a Good First DateClearing the Fog in Sex and Physical AffectionGetting the Best from a BreakupTake Dating One Stage at a TimeThere isn&’t one &“Christian&” way to date. But there are ways that Christians should handle themselves while dating . . . and those are the truths to live by.
How Sweet the Sound
by Amy K. SorrellsA Southern Novel of Second Chances From a distance, the Harlans appear to be the perfect Southern family. Wealth and local fame mask the drama and dysfunction swirling through their family line. But as the summer heats up, a flood tide of long hidden secrets surface. Devastation from a rape followed by the murder of two family members brings three generations of the Harlans together on their pecan plantation in Bay Spring, Alabama. Chief among them is Anniston, who by the time she turned thirteen thought she'd seen it all. But as her heart awakens to the possibility of love, she begins to deal with her loneliness and grief. This tender coming-of-age tale, inspired by the story of Tamar in 2 Samuel 13, shows how true healing and hope comes only from God. Though our earthly family can wound and disappoint, our heavenly Father brings freedom to those long held captive through His mercy and grace.
How Tia Lola Came to (Visit) Stay
by Julia Alvarez<P>A delightfully entertaining story of family and culture from acclaimed author Julia Alvarez. <P>Moving to Vermont after his parents split, Miguel has plenty to worry about! <P>Tía Lola, his quirky, carismática, and maybe magical aunt makes his life even more unpredictable when she arrives from the Dominican Republic to help out his Mami. <P>Like her stories for adults, Julia Alvarez's first middle-grade book sparkles with magic as it illuminates a child's experiences living in two cultures.
How Tia Lola Ended Up Starting Over
by Julia AlvarezWelcome to Tia Lola's bed and breakfast! With the help of her niece and nephew and the three Sword Sisters, Tía Lola is opening the doors of Colonel Charlebois' grand old Vermont house to visitors from all over. But Tía Lola and the children soon realize that running a B & B isn't as easy they had initially thought--especially when it appears that someone is out to sabotage them! Will Tía Lola and the kids discover who's behind the plot to make their B & B fail? And will Tía Lola's family and friends be able to plan her a surprise birthday party in her own B & B without her finding out?The last book in the Tía Lola StoriesFrom the Hardcover edition.
How Tia Lola Learned to Teach
by Julia AlvarezTía Lola has been invited to teach Spanish at her niece and nephew's elementary school. But Miguel wants nothing to do with the arrangement. He hasn't had an easy time adjusting to his new school in Vermont and doesn't like living so far away from Papi, who has a new girlfriend and an announcement to make. On the other hand, Miguel's little sister, Juanita, can't wait to introduce her colorfully dressed aunt with her migrating beauty mark to all her friends at school--that is, if she can stop getting distracted long enough to remember to do so. Before long, Tía Lola is organizing a Spanish treasure hunt and a Carnaval fiesta at school. Will Miguel be willing to join the fun? Will Juanita get her head out of the clouds and lead her classmates to victory in the treasure hunt?Told with abundant humor and heart, Julia Alvarez's new Tía Lola story is the long-awaited sequel to the beloved How Tía Lola Came to Visit Stay.From the Hardcover edition.
How Tia Lola Saved the Summer
by Julia AlvarezMiguel Guzman isn't exactly looking forward to the summer now that his mother has agreed to let the Sword family--a father, his three daughters, and their dog--live with them while they decide whether or not to move to Vermont. Little does Miguel know his aunt has something up her sleeve that just may make this the best summer ever. With her usual flair for creativity and fun, Tía Lola decides to start a summer camp for Miguel, his little sister, and the three Sword girls, complete with magical swords, nighttime treasure hunts, campfires, barbecues, and an end-of-summer surprise!The warm and funny third book in the Tía Lola Stories is sure to delight young readers and leave them looking forward to their own summer fun!From the Hardcover edition.
How To Be A Little Sod
by Simon BrettNew parents read on... Have you ever wondered, as you look down lovingly at your sleeping baby, what's really going on in that tiny mind? At last a baby tells all... How to be a Little Sod is a baby's eye view of the world - a week-by-week diary of that first traumatic year of life, which makes it quite clear who's suffering the traumas. This bestselling book is absolutely guaranteed to be of no practical use to new parents - but it has helped thousands to get through those disruptive early months. A word of warning, though - don't leave it around where babies can reach it! Illustrated by Tony Ross
How To Be A Pregnant Father
by Peter MayleInside The Pregnant Father:· The best way to start your pregnancy · Tactics for the bathroom and the breakfast table · A pocket-sized solution to the morning sickness problem · Coping with cravings · How to preserve your sex life · The Pregnant Father's Cookbook · Labor pains, true and false · A complete hospital survival kit · The nicest way of predicting you unborn baby's sex · How to cash in on triplets · Getting a birthday present from Uncle Sam · Three ways to help your wife get back in shape
How To Be Good(ish)
by Karen MccombieMeet Indie Kidd, who is celebrating her 10th birthday. Or she would be celebrating if it weren't for a horrible school project. Indie's teacher loves making lists and wants the students to list their top three talents. Never mind three talents, Indie can hardly think of one. Her super-talented best friends, Soph and Fee, have quickly finished their lists. Now, there's no time to lose as the girls team up to help Indie find her special talents. She tries just about everything from hair wrapping to magic tricks. There's got to be something Indie's good at--or at least good(ish). From the Trade Paperback edition.
How To Be Married
by Polly WilliamsFrom Polly Williams, the bestselling author of THE RISE AND FALL OF A YUMMY MUMMY comes a startling, honest novel of love, marriage - and untidiness.Sadie Drew thinks she must be the world's worst wife. She only needs to walk into a room to make it untidy. She wears flannel pyjamas in bed. Furry things breed in her fridge. But she's a busy working mother not a wifebot and husband Tom loves her as she is. Until he gets a hot new job and things change. There are alpha-wives to entertain. Nuclear rows. Unsettling secrets. And the smell of another woman's perfume on his suit. Sadie risks losing everything if she can't transform herself into the perfect wife... But what is a perfect wife anyway?
How To Be Married
by Polly WilliamsFrom Polly Williams, the bestselling author of THE RISE AND FALL OF A YUMMY MUMMY comes a startling, honest novel of love, marriage - and untidiness.Sadie Drew thinks she must be the world's worst wife. She only needs to walk into a room to make it untidy. She wears flannel pyjamas in bed. Furry things breed in her fridge. But she's a busy working mother not a wifebot and husband Tom loves her as she is. Until he gets a hot new job and things change. There are alpha-wives to entertain. Nuclear rows. Unsettling secrets. And the smell of another woman's perfume on his suit. Sadie risks losing everything if she can't transform herself into the perfect wife... But what is a perfect wife anyway?