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Snarf Attack, Underfoodle, and the Secret of Life: The Riot Brothers Tell All
by Mary AmatoMove over, Captain Underpants, a couple of new pranksters are in town. Narrated by fifth-grader Wilbur and featuring his third-grade brother, Orville, this hilarious story follows the antics of two boys with overactive imaginations and a comfortable sibling relationship. The action is divided into three "books," with six chapters each. In the first, the brothers are determined to catch a crook. They make a windfall by giving lessons in being annoying to their classmates, are reprimanded by the principal (who is also their mother), and still manage to foil a bank robber on the way home from school. Next, while searching for treasure, they find a mysterious box in the closet. After they finally open it, they discover that the contents, although not worth money, are still valuable. The final installment has the duo building a catapult designed to overthrow a king and using it instead to defeat a bully. Illustrations described.
Snarf Attack, Underfoodle, and the Secret of Life: The Riot Brothers Tell All (The Riot Brothers)
by Mary Amato Ethan LongMove over, Captain Underpants, a couple of new pranksters are in town. Narrated by fifth-grader Wilbur and featuring his third-grade brother, Orville, this hilarious story follows the antics of two boys with overactive imaginations and a comfortable sibling relationship. The action is divided into three "books," with six chapters each. In the first, the brothers are determined to catch a crook. They make a windfall by giving lessons in being annoying to their classmates, are reprimanded by the principal (who is also their mother), and still manage to foil a bank robber on the way home from school. Next, while searching for treasure, they find a mysterious box in the closet. After they finally open it, they discover that the contents, although not worth money, are still valuable. The final installment has the duo building a catapult designed to overthrow a king and using it instead to defeat a bully.
Snark Handbook: Insult Edition
by Lawrence DorfmanThe bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it’s more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes: "You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. ” "You started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since. ” "His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity. ” "Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. ” "You fill a much-needed gap. ” Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book’s verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you’re never again without the perfect quip or comeback.
The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring (Snark Ser.)
by Lawrence DorfmanThe Snark Handbook is back and it’s more uproarious than ever. This revised and expanded edition contains even more snide remarks, witty comebacks, and biting commentary than the bestselling first edition. With dozens of hilarious jokes, plus lists such as "Snarky Movie Descriptions,” "Money Can’t Buy You Happiness, But it Can Buy. . . ”, and "Excuses to Get Out of a Date,” it’s easy to find the perfect bit of irreverence to fit every mood and occasion. The Snark Handbook also features hundreds of the best quotes from beloved heroes of snark: "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. ”-Dorothy Parker "I never forget a face, but in your case, I’m happy to make an exception”-Groucho Marx "There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best part. ”-Charles Dickens "I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do. ”-Phyllis Diller With charming black and white illustrations to accompany the wry remarks on every page, The Snark Handbook is as fun to look at as it is to read. It’s a must-have whether you want to brush up on your snark, need a good laugh after a bad day, or are looking for the perfect gift for your favorite smartass.
Sneak Peek for Love, Clancy: Diary of a Good Dog
by W. Bruce CameronFrom the internationally bestselling author of A Dog’s Purpose and A Dog’s Way Home comes Love, Clancy: Diary of a Good Dog, a deeply moving story with a brand-new cast of characters, including one very good dog. Download a FREE sneak peek today!You’ve probably never met someone like Clancy. He’s keeping a diary, he’s falling in love, there are rivals for his affections, he lives with his best friend and his worst enemy – even taken together, these factors are maybe not that unusual, except that Clancy is a dog. His point of view is therefore perhaps…different.Told in Cameron’s signature style, a tremendous cast of wonderful characters find themselves jointly and separately navigating the challenges of life, of love, and…other pets, including Clancy's “worst enemy” - one very disdainful cat. It’s a lot to keep track of, especially when things start to spin hilariously out of control, but fortunately, we’ve got the observations of Clancy, a very good dog, who shares a valuable perspective on what is really important.FROM FORGE:THE DOG'S PURPOSE SERIES:A Dog's Purpose / A Dog's Journey / A Dog's PromiseTHE DOG'S WAY HOME SERIES:A Dog's Way Home / A Dog's CourageOTHER TITLES FROM FORGE:Love, Clancy: Diary of a Good DogA Dog's Perfect ChristmasThe Dogs of ChristmasThe Dog MasterEmory's GiftTHE RUDDY MCCAN SERIES:The Midnight Plan of the Repo Man / Repo Madness / The Midnight Dog of the Repo ManFROM STARSCAPE:THE PUPPY TALE SERIES:Ellie's Story / Bailey's Story / Molly's Story / Max's Story / Lily's Story / Shelby's Story / Toby's Story / Bella's Story / Cooper's Story / Lacey's StoryTHE LILY TO THE RESCUE SERIES:Lily to the Rescue / Lily to the Rescue: Two Little Piggies / Lily to the Rescue: The Not-So-Stinky Skunk / Lily to the Rescue: Dog Dog Goose / Lily to the Rescue: Lost Little Leopard / Lily to the Rescue: The Misfit Donkey / Lily to the Rescue: Foxes in a Fix / Lily to the Rescue: The Three BearsAt the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Sneak Peek for Mrs. Plansky's Revenge
by Spencer QuinnMrs. Plansky's Revenge is bestselling author Spencer Quinn's first novel in a new series since the meteoric launch of Chet and Bernie--introducing the irresistible and unforgettable Mrs. Plansky, in a story perfect for book clubs and commercial fiction readers. Download a FREE sneak peek today!Mrs. Loretta Plansky, a recent widow in her seventies, is settling into retirement in Florida while dealing with her 98-year-old father and fielding requests for money from her beloved children and grandchildren. Thankfully, her new hip hasn’t changed her killer tennis game one bit.One night Mrs. Plansky is startled awake by a phone call from a voice claiming to be her grandson Will, who desperately needs ten thousand dollars to get out of a jam. Of course, Loretta obliges—after all, what are grandmothers for, even grandmothers who still haven’t gotten a simple “thank you” for a gift sent weeks ago. Not that she's counting.By morning, Mrs. Plansky has lost everything. Law enforcement announces that Loretta's life savings have vanished, and that it’s hopeless to find the scammers behind the heist. First humiliated, then furious, Loretta Plansky refuses to be just another victim.In a courageous bid for justice, Mrs. Plansky follows her only clue on a whirlwind adventure to a small village in Romania to get her money and her dignity back—and perhaps find a new lease on life, too.At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.
Sneaking Out (Sweet Valley Twins #5)
by Jamie Suzanne Francine PascalAll the kids at Sweet Valley Middle School are talking about the big Johnny Buck concert. For the second year in a row, the twins' parents say they are too young to go. Elizabeth is disappointed, but will do what her parents say. But nothing and no one in the world can stop Jessica from seeing her rock idol -- even if it means sneaking out. Soon Jessica comes up with a plan that she knows will fool her parents -- but it means neglecting her responsibilities. Will Elizabeth, once again, step in and take over for her sister -- or will she tell her parents the truth?
Sneaking Suspicions
by Carolyn ComanIvy and Ray go on vacation to the Florida Everglades with their parents in order to find their only living relative, a distant cousin who, according to their great-grandfather's memoirs, absconded with a valuable, if unspecified, item.
Sneaks
by Catherine EganMen in Black meets middle school! A school project takes an alien turn when three kids uncover a secret society whose aim is to keep sneaks--mischievous interdimensional sprites--from slipping into our universe!When Ben Harp sees his teacher's watch crawling across the hallway, he thinks he must be dreaming. But no, he&’s just seen his first Sneak—an interdimensional mischief-maker that can borrow the form of any ordinary object. He figured this school year would be bad—his best friend moved away, the class bully is circling, and he&’s stuck doing a group project with two similarly friendless girls, Charlotte and Akemi. Still, he wasn&’t expecting aliens! And he certainly wasn&’t expecting that the woman he and Charlotte and Akemi are assigned to interview for their &“living local history&” project would be a Sneak expert. Or that she&’d foist an old book on them to keep safe . . . and then disappear. Now Ben, Charlotte, and Akemi are trying to understand a book that seems to contain a coded map while being pursued by violent clothes hangers, fire-spitting squirrels, and more. The Sneaks want that book! And they want something else, too: to pull a vastly more dangerous creature into the world with them. Can three misfit kids decode the book in time to stop an alien takeover? And if they do, will they get extra credit on their group project?
The Sneaky Parent: Crafty Tactics for Raising Cheerful, Cooperative Kids
by David Borgenicht James GraceMore than 200 clever tips to help stubborn kids go to bed, clean their room, take a bath, and more—without tears or fights.As a parent, you want nothing more than to keep your child fed, clothed, clean, healthy, and safe. Your kid, meanwhile, wants nothing more than to eat junk, go nude, stay up all night, and fall down a well. Begging doesn&’t work. Bribery isn&’t sustainable. You don&’t want to shout. It&’s time to get sneaky.The Sneaky Parent offers a full playbook of clever ploys for beating kids at their own game. With the strategies outlined in this book, you can gently guide kids toward positive choices—while letting them think they&’re the ones in control. Learn how to: Boost oral hygiene by pretending a toothbrush is a paintbrush for teethRender long plane trips painless with a game of &“Name That Cloud&”Calm separation anxiety by developing fun ways to wave goodbyeAnd dozens of other clever tactics, tricks, and gamesWith a little benevolent sneakiness, your child will enthusiastically try new foods, embrace bath time, go to sleep on a schedule, and other necessary but unpopular life skills. The best part? They&’ll be sure it was their idea.Previously published as How to Con Your Kid (2012) this edition includes gender-neutral language, updated screen time advice, and more for today's parent.
A Snicker of Magic
by Natalie Lloyd<P>Introducing an extraordinary new voice---a magical debut that will make your skin tingle, your eyes glisten . . .and your heart sing. <P>Midnight Gulch used to be a magical place, a town where people could sing up thunderstorms and dance up sunflowers. But that was long ago, before a curse drove the magic away. Twelve-year-old Felicity knows all about things like that; her nomadic mother is cursed with a wandering heart. <P>But when she arrives in Midnight Gulch, Felicity thinks her luck's about to change. A "word collector," Felicity sees words everywhere---shining above strangers, tucked into church eves, and tangled up her dog's floppy ears---but Midnight Gulch is the first place she's ever seen the word "home." And then there's Jonah, a mysterious, spiky-haired do-gooder who shimmers with words Felicity's never seen before, words that make Felicity's heart beat a little faster. <P>Felicity wants to stay in Midnight Gulch more than anything, but first, she'll need to figure out how to bring back the magic, breaking the spell that's been cast over the town . . . and her mother's broken heart.
Snickerdoodle Takes the Cake
by Ethan LongWhen Snickerdoodle gets up before the rest of the family, he is thrilled to find one of Mom’s Famous Lemon Poppy Seed Cakes. Unfortunately it has a note on it that says "Do Not Touch." In this test of his willpower, Snickerdoodle will attempt to bend the rules, and it will not go well for him. But Snickerdoodle will also use his brainpower to devise a plan that just might save the day. A charismatic clan of chinchillas confronts everyday problems in this humorous story of family life and foibles.
Sniff a Skunk! (Good Crooks #3)
by Mary AmatoGood Crooks Book Three: Sniff a Skunk! brings back our favorite pair of do-gooder crooks in a hilarious adventure that brings about an odiferous encounter with a skunk. Author Mary Amato is a star of state master and children's choice lists and returns to the age category of her popular Riot Brothers chapter book series with this funny, silly new series.
Snipp, Snapp, Snurr and the Big Surprise
by Maj LindmanWhen Mother leaves to visit an old friend, Snipp, Snapp, and Snurr decide to plan a big surprise for her return. With Nanny's help they decide to get her a new chair. Since they don't have any money, they earn the chair by working for all the people who help make it. Mother is so thrilled when she sees her fantastic surprise!
Snipp, Snapp, Snurr and the Buttered Bread
by Maj LindmanSnipp, Snapp, and Snurr want butter for their bread. But Mother can't make butter without milk. Aunt Annie's cow, Blossom, can't make milk without good grass to eat, and the grass won't grow without the sun to shine on it. And that means all the ingredients for a classic cumulative adventure are here.
Snipp, Snapp, Snurr and the Gingerbread
by Maj LindmanWhen a kindly neighbor gave the boys some money to spend, they went straight to the bakery to buy some gingerbread--and they fell into the batter! Now Snipp, Snapp, and Snurr looked just like three gingerbread boys who had come to life. A beautiful princess picked them up in her coach and took them to her palace for a party. When the party was over, Mother knew just what to do with her children.
Snipp, Snapp, Snurr and the Red Shoes
by Maj LindmanOne day the three boys decided to buy their mother the perfect birthday present--a pair of red shoes. They set out to earn some money. Snipp painted a fence; Snapp cleaned a chimney; and Snurr worked in a flour mill. Things did not go exactly as planned, but in the end, Mother was very surprised!
Snipp, Snapp, Snurr and the Reindeer
by Maj LindmanOne day the three boys decided to buy their mother the perfect birthday present--a pair of red shoes. They set out to earn some money. Snipp painted a fence; Snapp cleaned a chimney; and Snurr worked in a flour mill. Things did not go exactly as planned, but in the end, Mother was very surprised!
Snipp, Snapp, Snurr and the Yellow Sled
by Maj LindmanOn their way home from school one day, the boys saw a wonderful yellow sled in a shop window. The next day, they started doing a lot of extra work around the house so they could earn it. The boys soon earned enough money. But when they arrived at the shop, they found a sad little boy whose family could not afford a sled. So Snipp, Snapp, and Snurr thought of a wonderful surprise.
Snipp, Snapp, Snurr Learn to Swim
by Maj LindmanOne summer, the boys went to the seashore with their nanny. Although they didn't know how to swim, Snipp and Snapp decided to go "sailing" in Nanny's washtub. Luckily, Snurr ran and got help from their friend Nick. One thing was certain after that--it was time for the boys to learn to swim! It took many lessons and a lot of practice, but in time Snipp, Snapp, and Snurr proudly showed their parents their new skills--and then they even won a swimming contest!
Snitch (Orca Soundings)
by Norah McClintockJosh had been living in a group home after being ratted out by Scott, his one-time best friend. Now Josh has moved in with his brother and overbearing sister-in-law and has been sent to a class designed to teach him to deal with his anger. When an old enemy continues to push his buttons and Scott appears to be up to his old tricks, Josh struggles to control his temper. Framed for a crime he didn't commit, it will take all of his new-found strength to keep his cool—and his freedom. The epub edition of this title is fully accessible. Also available in Spanish.
Snobs
by Julian Fellowes"The English, of all classes as it happens, are addicted to exclusivity. Leave three Englishmen in a room and they will invent a rule that prevents a fourth joining them." The best comedies of manners are often deceptively simple, seamlessly blending social critique with character and story. In his superbly observed first novel, Julian Fellowes, winner of an Academy Award for his original screenplay of Gosford Park, brings us an insider's look at a contemporary England that is still not as classless as is popularly supposed. Edith Lavery, an English blonde with large eyes and nice manners, is the daughter of a moderately successful accountant and his social-climbing wife. While visiting his parents' stately home as a paying guest, Edith meets Charles, Earl of Broughton, and heir to the Marquess of Uckfield, who runs the family estates in East Sussex and Norfolk. To the gossip columns he is one of the most eligible young aristocrats around. When he proposes. Edith accepts. But is she really in love with Charles? Or with his title, his position, and all that goes with it? One inescapable part of life at Broughton Hall is Charles's mother, the shrewd Lady Uckfield, known to her friends as "Googie" and described by the narrator---an actor who moves comfortably among the upper classes while chronicling their foibles---"as the most socially expert individual I have ever known at all well. She combined a watchmaker's eye for detail with a madam's knowledge of the world." Lady Uckfield is convinced that Edith is more interested in becoming a countess than in being a good wife to her son. And when a television company, complete with a gorgeous leading man, descends on Broughton Hall to film a period drama, "Googie's" worst fears seem fully justified. In Snobs, a wickedly astute portrait of the intersecting worlds of aristocrats and actors, Julian Fellowes establishes himself as an irresistible storyteller and a deliciously witty chronicler of modern manners.
Snobs: A novel by the creator of DOWNTON ABBEY and BELGRAVIA
by Julian FellowesA SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERFROM THE CREATOR OF DOWNTON ABBEY and BELGRAVIA'A delicious thoroughbred delight' Stephen Fry'A brilliantly malicious portrait of upper-class society and all those who long to be accepted by them' Jilly CooperEdith Lavery is a woman on the make. The attractive only child of a middle-class accountant, she leaves behind her dull job in a Chelsea estate agents and manages to bag one of the most eligible bachelors of the day - Charles Broughton, heir to the Marquess of Uckfield. But is life amongst the upper echelons of 'good' society all that it seems? 'Horribly compelling'The Times'Provocative, titillating and seductive'Spectator'Everything you would hope for from the writer of Gosford Park' Stephen Fry
Snobs: A novel by the creator of DOWNTON ABBEY and BELGRAVIA
by Julian FellowesA SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLERFROM THE CREATOR OF DOWNTON ABBEY and BELGRAVIA 'A delicious thoroughbred delight' Stephen Fry'A brilliantly malicious portrait of upper-class society and all those who long to be accepted by them' Jilly CooperEdith Lavery is a woman on the make. The attractive only child of a middle-class accountant, she leaves behind her dull job in a Chelsea estate agents and manages to bag one of the most eligible bachelors of the day - Charles Broughton, heir to the Marquess of Uckfield. But is life amongst the upper echelons of 'good' society all that it seems? 'Horribly compelling' The Times'Provocative, titillating and seductive' Spectator 'Everything you would hope for from the writer of Gosford Park' Stephen Fry
Snobs: From the creator of DOWNTON ABBEY and THE GILDED AGE
by Julian FellowesFellowes doesn't try to hide his love of the funny, sealed, above-stairs world of dukes, duchesses, marquesses, nursery maids, herbaceous borders and breakfast kedgeree, all of which makes SNOBS such a a good, fresh read' Daily TelegraphEdith Lavery is a woman on the make. The attractive only child of a middle-class accountant, she leaves behind her dull job in a Chelsea estate agents and manages to bag one of the most eligible bachelors of the day - Charles Broughton, heir to the Marquess of Uckfield.But is life amongst the upper echelons of 'good' society all that it seems? Edith soon discovers there's much more to the aristocracy than dancing in Anabel's, shooting small birds and understanding which fork to use at dinner. And then there is Charles's mother, the indomitable Lady Uckfield, or 'Googie' to her friends, who is none too pleased with her son's choice of breeding partner. With twists and turns aplenty, this is a comical tale worthy of a contemporary Jane Austen.Read by Richard Morant(p) 2005 AudioGo