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All Tangled Up in Autism and Chronic Illness: A guide to navigating multiple conditions
by Charli ClementIn this ground-breaking debut, Charli Clement combines their own experiences alongside unique short profiles from individuals with chronic illness, to provide an intimate and insightful look at the complexities of living as an autistic and chronically ill person. From navigating your diagnosis and healthcare, learning how to manage pain and your own sensory needs to dealing with ableism, medical misogyny and transphobia, Clement offers practical advice and delves into the unique challenges faced by individuals living in this intersection.With a focus on the unique neurodivergent experience and an exploration into disability pride and joy 'All Tangled Up in Autism and Chronic Illness' is a necessary and empowering resource for autistic and chronically ill people as well as for family members, friends, and healthcare professionals.
All That We Are: Uncovering the Hidden Truths Behind Our Behaviour at Work
by Gabriella BraunWho do you bring with you to work?Try as we might, we cannot leave part of ourselves under the pillow with our pyjamas when we go to work. We bring all that we are.In this collection of stories, Gabriella Braun shares insights from over twenty years of taking psychoanalysis out of the therapy room and into the staff room. She shows us why a board loses the plot, nearly causes their company to collapse, and how they come through. We see the connection between a headteacher's professional and personal loss. We understand seemingly unfathomable behaviour - why a man lets his organisation push him around, a lawyer becomes paranoid, a team repeatedly creates scapegoats, and founders of a literary agency feud.At a time when we are re-thinking the workplace, ALL THAT WE ARE shows that by taking human nature seriously, we can build more humane organisations where people and their work can thrive.
All That We Are: Uncovering the Hidden Truths Behind Our Behaviour at Work (Language Acts and Worldmaking #7)
by Gabriella BraunWho do you bring with you to work?Try as we might, we cannot leave part of ourselves under the pillow with our pyjamas when we go to work. We bring all that we are.In this collection of stories, Gabriella Braun shares insights from over twenty years of taking psychoanalysis out of the therapy room and into the staff room. She shows us why a board loses the plot, nearly causes their company to collapse, and how they come through. We see the connection between a headteacher's professional and personal loss. We understand seemingly unfathomable behaviour - why a man lets his organisation push him around, a lawyer becomes paranoid, a team repeatedly creates scapegoats, and founders of a literary agency feud.At a time when we are re-thinking the workplace, ALL THAT WE ARE shows that by taking human nature seriously, we can build more humane organisations where people and their work can thrive.
All That You Leave Behind: A Memoir
by Erin Lee Carr“A documentary filmmaker and daughter of the late, great New York Times columnist David Carr celebrates and wrestles with her father’s legacy in a raw, redemptive memoir.”—O: The Oprah Magazine (The Best Nonfiction Books Coming Out in 2019)“A breathtaking read . . . a testimony equal parts love and candor. David would have had it no other way.”—Ta-Nehisi Coates, bestselling author of Between the World and Me Dad: What will set you apart is not talent but will and a certain kind of humility. A willingness to let the world show you things that you play back as you grow as an artist. Talent is cheap. Me: OK I will ponder these things. I am a Carr. Dad: That should matter quite a bit, actually not the name but the guts of what that name means. A celebrated journalist, bestselling author (The Night of the Gun), and recovering addict, David Carr was in the prime of his career when he suffered a fatal collapse in the newsroom of The New York Times in 2015. Shattered by his death, his daughter Erin Lee Carr, at age twenty-seven an up-and-coming documentary filmmaker, began combing through the entirety of their shared correspondence—1,936 items in total—in search of comfort and support. What started as an exercise in grief quickly grew into an active investigation: Did her father’s writings contain the answers to the question of how to move forward in life and work without her biggest champion by her side? How could she fill the space left behind by a man who had come to embody journalistic integrity, rigor, and hard reporting, whose mentorship meant everything not just to her but to the many who served alongside him? All That You Leave Behind is a poignant coming-of-age story that offers a raw and honest glimpse into the multilayered relationship between a daughter and a father. Through this lens, Erin comes to understand her own workplace missteps, existential crises, and relationship fails. While daughter and father bond over their mutual addictions and challenges with sobriety, it is their powerful sense of work and family that comes to ultimately define them. This unique combination of Erin Lee Carr’s earnest prose and her father’s meaningful words offers a compelling read that shows us what it means to be vulnerable and lost, supported and found. It is a window into love, with all of its fierceness and frustrations.“Thank you, Erin, for this beautiful book. Now I am going to steal all of your father’s remarkable advice and tell my kids I thought of it.”—Judd Apatow
All That You've Seen Here Is God
by Sophocles Aeschylus Bryan DoerriesThese contemporary translations of four Greek tragedies speak across time and connect readers and audiences with universal themes of war, trauma, suffering, and betrayal. Under the direction of Bryan Doerries, they have been performed for tens of thousands of combat veterans, as well as prison and medical personnel around the world. Striking for their immediacy and emotional impact, Doerries brings to life these ancient plays, like no other translations have before.
All Things Consoled: A Daughter's Memoir
by Elizabeth HayWinner of the 2018 Hilary Weston Writers' Trust Award for Non-fictionA poignant, complex and hugely resonant memoir about the shift from being a daughter to a guardian and caregiver, by a prizewinning author.From Elizabeth Hay, one of Canada's most celebrated novelists, comes a startling and beautiful memoir about the drama of her parents' end, and the longer drama of being their daughter. Jean and Gordon Hay were a formidable pair. She was an artist and superlatively frugal; he was a proud and principled schoolteacher with an explosive temper. Elizabeth, the so-called difficult child, always suspected she would end up caring for them in their final years, in part to atone for her childhood sins.Philip Roth once said, "Old age is a massacre". All Things Consoled takes you inside the massacre as Hay's ferociously independent parents become increasingly dependent on her.With remarkable wit and honesty, Hay lays bare the agony of a family coping as old age turns into the tragedy of living too long. In the end she arrives at a more nuanced understanding of her mother and father, and of herself as their daughter. They were and remain the two vivid giants in her life.
All Things Consoled: A daughter's memoir
by Elizabeth HayFrom Elizabeth Hay, one of Canada's most beloved novelists, comes a startling and beautiful memoir about the drama of her parents' end, and the longer drama of being their daughter.Jean and Gordon Hay were a colourful, formidable pair. Jean, a late-blooming artist with a marvellous sense of humour, was superlatively frugal; nothing got wasted, not even maggoty soup. Gordon was a proud and ambitious schoolteacher with a terrifying temper, a deep streak of melancholy, and a devotion to flowers, cars, words, and his wife. As old age collides with the tragedy of living too long, these once ferociously independent parents become increasingly dependent on Lizzie, the so-called difficult child. By looking after them in their final decline, she hopes to prove that she can be a good daughter after all. In this courageous memoir, written with tough-minded candour, tenderness, and wit, Elizabeth Hay lays bare the exquisite agony of a family's dynamics--entrenched favouritism, sibling rivalries, grievances that last for decades, genuine admiration, and enduring love. In the end, she reaches a more complete understanding of the most unforgettable characters she will ever know, the vivid giants in her life who were her parents.
All Too Human: Understanding and Improving our Relationships with Technology
by Anne McLaughlinWhy do people fear air travel, but text while driving? How were the travesties at the Abu Ghraib prison like a nuclear meltdown? What is the best way to throw a rocket at a robot? These are just a few questions addressed by the field of human factors psychology. These scientists use knowledge of how people think and why they act to improve the design of our world. In All Too Human, Dr. Anne McLaughlin introduces the field with vivid and topical stories that hinge on cognitive processes such as attention, memory, and decision-making. From the COVID-19 pandemic, to abandoned SCUBA divers, conspiracy theories, and the travails of online dating, McLaughlin draws on a century of research into the human mind to explain our past and predict our future.
All We Could Have Been
by TE CarterFrom TE Carter, All We Could Have Been is a powerful and heartbreaking look at the assumptions we make about people and how one person’s actions can affect everyone around them. Five years ago, Lexi witnessed something that shattered her very core. To cope, she moves from town to town, desperate to hide the darkest of family secrets. In every location, she assumes a new name and flies under the radar as long as she can before anyone figures out who she is—who she’s related to. Lexie now lives with her aunt, has minimal interaction with her parents, and has no communication with her brother. But the pain is always there.After starting her newest school, all she wants is to just live life. But how can she when the past keeps threatening to drag her back?
All You Need Is Love & Other Lies About Marriage: How to Save Your Marriage Before It's Too Late
by John W. JacobsWhy is it so difficult to remain married in thetwenty-first century, and what can you do about it?We all know that half of today's marriages end in divorce, but we tend to believe that our own marriages are safe. As psychiatrist John Jacobs explains in this fresh and impassioned book, marriages today are incredibly fragile, and unless a couple understands what is making contemporary marriage so vulnerable to dissolution, the marriage is at risk.Part of the problem is that people refuse to see how social and historical forces have changed the very meaning of marriage, causing serious interpersonal unhappiness. Because of increased longevity, married people live together longer than at any time in history. There's been an erosion of the social and cultural forces that traditionally kept marriages together. Confusion over gender-role responsibilities, increased expectations of sexual satisfaction, and intense time pressures on couples to work and be successful all create marital stress.And yet, most people don't acknowledge the problems in their marriage until it is too late. We tend to believe in the "lies of marriage" -- such concepts as soul mates, unconditional love, that children improve a relationship, that the sexual revolution has made marital sex more pleasurable, or that egalitarian marriage offers couples easy solutions -- and forget to engage in the constant hardwork required to keep our marriages alive.Dr. Jacobs believes that most marriages have significant problems at some time, but until we recognize the new realities of marriage and develop the skills required to sustain a loving, intimate relationship, marriages are at risk.Of course marriage is about love. But that's just the beginning.
All at Sea: A Memoir
by Decca AitkenheadA beautifully written, breathtakingly honest, unsentimental, and profound memoir from one of the UK's most popular journalists. On a hot, still morning on a beautiful beach in Jamaica, Decca Aitkenhead's life changed forever. Her four-year-old son was paddling peacefully at the water's edge when a wave pulled him out to sea. Her partner, Tony, swam out and saved their son's life--then drowned before her eyes. When Decca and Tony first met, a decade earlier, she was a renowned Guardian journalist profiling leading politicians of the day; he was a dreadlocked criminal with a history of drug dealing and violence. No one thought the romance would last, but it did--until the tide swept Tony away, plunging Decca into the dark chasm of random tragedy. Exploring race and redemption, privilege and prejudice, All at Sea is a remarkable story of love and loss, of how one couple changed each other's life, and of what a sudden death can do to the people who survive.From the Hardcover edition.
All for Nothing: Hamlet's Negativity (Short Circuits)
by Andrew CutrofelloHamlet as performed by philosophers, with supporting roles played by Kant, Nietzsche, and others.A specter is haunting philosophy—the specter of Hamlet. Why is this? Wherefore? What should we do?Entering from stage left: the philosopher's Hamlet. The philosopher's Hamlet is a conceptual character, played by philosophers rather than actors. He performs not in the theater but within the space of philosophical positions. In All for Nothing, Andrew Cutrofello critically examines the performance history of this unique role. The philosopher's Hamlet personifies negativity. In Shakespeare's play, Hamlet's speech and action are characteristically negative; he is the melancholy Dane. Most would agree that he has nothing to be cheerful about. Philosophers have taken Hamlet to embody specific forms of negativity that first came into view in modernity. What the figure of the Sophist represented for Plato, Hamlet has represented for modern philosophers. Cutrofello analyzes five aspects of Hamlet's negativity: his melancholy, negative faith, nihilism, tarrying (which Cutrofello distinguishes from “delaying”), and nonexistence. Along the way, we meet Hamlet in the texts of Kant, Coleridge, Hegel, Marx, Schopenhauer, Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Freud, Russell, Wittgenstein, Heidegger, Benjamin, Arendt, Schmitt, Lacan, Deleuze, Foucault, Derrida, Badiou, Žižek, and other philosophers. Whirling across a kingdom of infinite space, the philosopher's Hamlet is nothing if not thought-provoking.
All for You: A World War II Family Memoir of Love, Separation, and Loss
by Dena Rueb RomeroEmil, a Jewish man in 1930s Germany, loves Deta, a Lutheran, but Nazi racial purity laws forbid their marriage. Desperate to find a place where their love can survive, they must separate to get away. Deta leaves for England, but Emil has to overcome red tape, resistance from his aging parents, and his own ambivalence before he can embark for America. With only telegrams and letters from Deta to sustain him, he does all he can to bring her and his family to America. But the clock is ticking as the war breaks out and the Nazis tighten their stranglehold. From the heartbreaking news of November 10, 1938 (Kristallnacht) to the horrific revelations after the German surrender in 1945, Emil&’s story runs the course of the war. Can he make his way in this new world? Will he be reunited with his beloved Deta? And will he ever see his family again? Told by Emil&’s daughter with the help of letters and historical documents, All for You is a true story about love overcoming despair and the impact the Holocaust continues to have on the rising generation.
All in Her Head: A page-turning thriller perfect for fans of Harriet Tyce
by Nikki SmithDISCOVER THE DEBUT THRILLER GETTING INSIDE EVERYONE'S HEAD THIS YEAR'Tense and moving' - HARRIET TYCE, author of Blood Orange'A clever and emotionally charged debut' - LESLEY KARA, author of The Rumour'Brilliantly written with plenty of surprises along the way' - T M LOGAN, author of The Holiday'Haunting and compelling . . . it had me immediately gripped' - KAREN HAMILTON, author of The Perfect Girlfriend'It had my head spinning' - LAURA PEARSON, author of Missing Pieces'Instantly gripping . . . a psychological thriller with real heart and depth' LISA BALLANTYNE, author of The Guilty One---------------------------------------------------------Alison feels like she's losing her mind. She is convinced that her ex-husband Jack is following her. She is certain she recognises the strange woman who keeps approaching her at work.She knows she has a good reason to be afraid. But she can't remember why.Then the mention of one name brings a lifetime of memories - and the truth - crashing back...An electric, page-turning thriller perfect for fans of Louise Candlish, Adele Parks and Erin Kelly. ---------------------------------------------------------A thriller you'll want to talk about the moment you've finished it!'A twist that will make you feel like you've been hit by an express train' S Magazine'Clever, impressive and instantly gripping . . . Surprising twists will make your head spin in the build up to a moving yet chilling finale' Daily Express'As soon as you've finished, you'll be dying to start again to try and spot the clues you've missed' Woman's Weekly'So original!' Heat
All in Her Head: A page-turning thriller perfect for fans of Harriet Tyce
by Nikki SmithDISCOVER THE DEBUT THRILLER GETTING INSIDE EVERYONE'S HEAD THIS YEAR'Tense and moving' - HARRIET TYCE, author of Blood Orange'A clever and emotionally charged debut' - LESLEY KARA, author of The Rumour'Brilliantly written with plenty of surprises along the way' - T M LOGAN, author of The Holiday'Haunting and compelling . . . it had me immediately gripped' - KAREN HAMILTON, author of The Perfect Girlfriend'It had my head spinning' - LAURA PEARSON, author of Missing Pieces'Instantly gripping . . . a psychological thriller with real heart and depth' LISA BALLANTYNE, author of The Guilty One---------------------------------------------------------Alison feels like she's losing her mind. She is convinced that her ex-husband Jack is following her. She is certain she recognises the strange woman who keeps approaching her at work.She knows she has a good reason to be afraid. But she can't remember why.Then the mention of one name brings a lifetime of memories - and the truth - crashing back...An electric, page-turning thriller perfect for fans of Louise Candlish, Adele Parks and Erin Kelly. ---------------------------------------------------------A thriller you'll want to talk about the moment you've finished it!'A twist that will make you feel like you've been hit by an express train' S Magazine'Clever, impressive and instantly gripping . . . Surprising twists will make your head spin in the build up to a moving yet chilling finale' Daily Express'As soon as you've finished, you'll be dying to start again to try and spot the clues you've missed' Woman's Weekly'So original!' Heat
All in the Mind: Psychology for the Curious
by Adrian Furnham Dimitrios TsivrikosAll in the Mind has been a successful but unusual textbook. It does not claim to be comprehensive: but it does cover important and currently controversial subjects critically and lucidly. Adrian Furnham's aim is to make the topic so interesting that the reader wants to read more, by providing the spark which leads to self-motivation. Much has happened in psychology and its related fields in the six years since the publication of the first edition, and these developments are reflected in the 30% of additional text which has been added, and in the updating of existing material. All in the Mind remains the most popular alternative text book at many universities because it is so different. It is also read by non students who want an accessible guide to the discipline of psychology.
All of Me: How I Learned to Live with the Many Personalities Sharing My Body
by Kim NobleTaking the reader through an extraordinary world where the very nature of reality is different, this personal narrative tells the story of one woman's terrifying battle to understand her own mind. From the desperate struggle to win back the child she loves to the courage and commitment needed to make sense of her life, this account recalls Kim Noble's many years in and out of mental institutions and various diagnoses until finally being appropriately diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (DID). Described as a creative way some minds cope with unbearable pain, DID causes Kim's body to play host to more than 20 different personalities--from a little boy who speaks only Latin and an elective mute to a gay man and an anorexic teenager. Sometimes funny and ultimately uplifting, this brave illumination of the links and intersections between memory, mental illness, and creativity offers a glimpse into the mind of someone with DID and helps readers understand the confusion, frustration, and everyday difficulties in living with this disorder.
All of This: A Memoir of Death and Desire
by Rebecca Woolf“Beautifully written, complex, provocative, painful, genuine...an unforgettable memoir.”—ROXANE GAY“Wonderfully lyrical and uncomfortably honest in a way that is so rare, yet so needed.”—JENNY LAWSON“Disturbing and profound, this intimate book also reveals the sometimes-labyrinthine nature of the bonds that unite people in love...A provocative and memorable work.”—Kirkus ReviewsAfter years of struggling in a tumultuous marriage, writer Rebecca Woolf was finally ready to leave her husband. Two weeks after telling him she wanted a divorce, he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. Four months later, at the age of forty-four, he died.In All of This, Woolf chronicles the months before her husband’s death—and her rebirth after he was gone. With rigorous honesty and incredible awareness, she reflects on the end of her marriage: how her husband’s illness finally gave her the space to make peace with his humanity and her own.Stunning, compelling, and brilliantly nuanced, All of This is one woman’s story of embracing the complexities of grief without shame—as a mother, a widow, and a sexual being—and emerging on the other side of a relationship with gratitude and relief.
All the Brains in the Business: The Engendered Brain in the 21st Century Organisation (The Neuroscience of Business)
by Paul Brown Kate LanzThe power of gender difference, not gender equality, is a secret source for success. Some smart businesses are starting to wake up to this fact. This book explores why and how. Properly valuing brain gender diversity in the workplace is one of the biggest and largely untapped sources of competitive advantage for modern businesses. Recent advances in neuroscience provide the key to unlocking it. Modern research shows that there are gender-based differences in the brain – it’s just not as simple as a binary between a ‘male brain’ and ‘female brain’. In fact, our brains are like a mosaic where many of the tiles are available in thousands of shades on a spectrum between pink and blue. The problem is that our workplaces tend to be governed by structures, processes and cultures that are practically pure blue. All the brains in the business that are elsewhere on the spectrum cannot thrive as they might, so sources of productivity, creativity and agility go untapped. Anyone who manages people needs to understand how the brain works and the impact it has on how people work together as teams. Anyone who wants to unlock the talent and productivity of all of their people needs to understand how recent findings around male- and female-type brains should shape the way they manage. Leading applied neuroscientists and international corporate coaches Kate Lanz and Paul Brown show you why and how to access all the brains in your business.
All the Ghosts in the Machine: Illusions of Immortality in the Digital Age
by Elaine Kasket'As charming and touching as it is astute and insightful'Adam Alter, New York Times bestselling author of Irresistable and Drunk Tank Pink'This a very useful book, even perhaps for people who have never been near a computer in their lives'Jake Kerridge, Sunday TelegraphSeen any ghosts on your smartphone lately? As we're compelled to capture, store and share more and more of our personal information, there's something we often forget. All that data doesn't just disappear when our physical bodies shuffle off this mortal coil. If the concept of remaining socially active after you're no longer breathing sounds crazy, you might want to get used to the idea. Digital afterlives are a natural consequence of the information age, a reality that barely anyone has prepared for - and that 'anyone' probably includes you.In All the Ghosts in the Machine, psychologist Elaine Kasket sounds a clarion call to everyone who's never thought about death in the digital age. When someone's hyperconnected, hyperpersonal digital footprint is transformed into their lasting legacy, she asks, who is helped, who is hurt, and who's in charge? And why is now such a critical moment to take our heads out of the sand?Weaving together personal, moving true stories and scientific research, All the Ghosts in the Machine takes you on a fascinating tour through the valley of the shadow of digital death. In the process, it will transform how you think about your life and your legacy, in a time when our technologies are tantalising us with fantasies of immortality.
All the Ghosts in the Machine: The Digital Afterlife of your Personal Data
by Elaine Kasket'As charming and touching as it is astute and insightful'Adam Alter, New York Times bestselling author of Irresistible and Drunk Tank Pink'This a very useful book, even perhaps for people who have never been near a computer in their lives'Jake Kerridge, Sunday TelegraphSeen any ghosts on your smartphone lately? As we're compelled to capture, store and share more and more of our personal information, there's something we often forget. All that data doesn't just disappear when our physical bodies shuffle off this mortal coil. If the concept of remaining socially active after you're no longer breathing sounds crazy, you might want to get used to the idea. Digital afterlives are a natural consequence of the information age, a reality that barely anyone has prepared for - and that 'anyone' probably includes you.In All the Ghosts in the Machine, psychologist Elaine Kasket sounds a clarion call to everyone who's never thought about death in the digital age. When someone's hyperconnected, hyperpersonal digital footprint is transformed into their lasting legacy, she asks, who is helped, who is hurt, and who's in charge? And why is now such a critical moment to take our heads out of the sand?Weaving together personal, moving true stories and scientific research, All the Ghosts in the Machine takes you on a fascinating tour through the valley of the shadow of digital death. In the process, it will transform how you think about your life and your legacy, in a time when our technologies are tantalising us with fantasies of immortality.
All the Ghosts in the Machine: The Digital Afterlife of your Personal Data
by Elaine Kasket'As charming and touching as it is astute and insightful'Adam Alter, New York Times bestselling author of Irresistible and Drunk Tank Pink'This a very useful book, even perhaps for people who have never been near a computer in their lives'Jake Kerridge, Sunday TelegraphSeen any ghosts on your smartphone lately? As we're compelled to capture, store and share more and more of our personal information, there's something we often forget. All that data doesn't just disappear when our physical bodies shuffle off this mortal coil. If the concept of remaining socially active after you're no longer breathing sounds crazy, you might want to get used to the idea. Digital afterlives are a natural consequence of the information age, a reality that barely anyone has prepared for - and that 'anyone' probably includes you.In All the Ghosts in the Machine, psychologist Elaine Kasket sounds a clarion call to everyone who's never thought about death in the digital age. When someone's hyperconnected, hyperpersonal digital footprint is transformed into their lasting legacy, she asks, who is helped, who is hurt, and who's in charge? And why is now such a critical moment to take our heads out of the sand?Weaving together personal, moving true stories and scientific research, All the Ghosts in the Machine takes you on a fascinating tour through the valley of the shadow of digital death. In the process, it will transform how you think about your life and your legacy, in a time when our technologies are tantalising us with fantasies of immortality.
All the Gold Stars: Reimagining Ambition and the Ways We Strive
by Rainesford StaufferFrom journalist and author of An Ordinary Age, an examination, dismantling, and reconstruction of ambition, where burnout is the symptom of our holiest sin: the lonely way we strive. Ambition—the want, the hunger, the need to achieve—is woven into America&’s fabric from the first colonization to capitalism. From our first gold star assignment to acceptance at the &“right&” college to hustle and grinding our lives, we celebrate our drive, even as we gatekeep who is permitted to strive--and how visibly. Even as we burn out. When we can&’t even. When we know: work won&’t love us back.All the Gold Stars looks at how the cultural, personal, and societal expectations around ambition are driving the burnout epidemic by funneling our worth into productivity, limiting our imaginations, and pushing us further apart. Through the devastating personal narrative of her own ambition crisis, Stauffer discovers the common factors driving us all, peeling back layers of family expectations, capitalism, and self-esteem that dangerously tie up our worth in our output. Interviews with students, parents, workers, psychologists, labor organizers, and more offer a new definition of ambition and the tools to reframe our lives around true success. All the Gold Stars provides ways for us to reject our current reality and reconceive ambition as more collective, imaginative, and rooted in caring for ourselves and each other.
All the Rage: A Quest
by Martin MoranA moving and surprisingly funny memoir about finding the right balance between anger and compassion"Why aren't you angry?" people often asked Martin Moran after he told his story of how he came to forgive the man who sexually abused him as a boy. At first, the question pissed him off. Then, it began to haunt him. Why didn't he have more anger? Why had he never sought redress for the crime committed against him? Was his fury hidden, buried? Was he not man enough? Here he was, an adult in mid-life, with an established acting career, a husband. A life. And yet the question of rage began to obsess him.As the narrative jumps from dream to memory to theory, from Colorado to New York to Johannesburg, Moran takes us along on his quest to understand the role of rage in our lives. Translating for an asylum seeker and survivor of torture, he wonders how the man is not consumed with the wrong done him, only to shortly thereafter find himself in a wild confrontation with his fuming stepmother at his father's funeral. He admires a pedestrian's furious put-down of a careless driver, and then, observing with a group of sex therapists at an S&M dungeon, he finds himself unexpectedly moved by the intimacy of the interchanges. Hiking the Rockies with his troubled younger brother, he's confronted by the anger and the love that seem to exist simultaneously and in equal measure between them.With each encounter, we move more deeply into the human complexities at the heart of this book: into how we wrong and are wronged, how we seek redress but also forgiveness, how we yearn to mend what we think broken in us and liberate ourselves from what's past. It is in this landscape of old wounds and complicated loves that Moran shows us how rage may meet compassion and our traumas unexpectedly open us to the humanity of others.
All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership
by Darcy LockmanWhy do men do so little at home? Why do women do so much? Why don't our egalitarian values match our lived experiences?Journalist-turned-psychologist Darcy Lockman offers a clear-eyed look at the most pernicious problem facing modern parents—how progressive relationships become traditional ones when children are introduced into the household. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly persists: the disproportionate amount of parental work that falls to women, no matter their background, class, or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers’ household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers’. How, in a culture that pays lip service to women’s equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement—benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves—can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children?Counting on male partners who will share the burden, women today have been left with what political scientists call unfulfilled, rising expectations. Historically these unmet expectations lie at the heart of revolutions, insurgencies, and civil unrest. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? Where is our revolution, our insurgency, our civil unrest? Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own marriage as a ground zero case study, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms. If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home?