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How the Supervillain Stole Christmas (Spandex and Superheroes)

by Charles Payseur

Rex Devious (Dr. Devious to meddlesome do-gooders everywhere) can go toe-to-toe with superheroes without blinking an eye. So picking out a Christmas present for his new boyfriend should be no problem. After all, he and Sanjay seem perfect for each other. But with a terrible track record for finding gifts that won't scare his potential partners away, Rex is paralyzed with insecurity. Until, of course, he decides to change tactics. Instead of having to pick out that perfect present, why not just destroy Christmas altogether? If his nemeses (or his conscience) can't stop him first, he might just become the supervillain who stole Christmas.A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2016 Advent Calendar "Bah Humbug."

How the Supervillain Stole Christmas (Spandex And Superheroes Ser.)

by Charles Payseur

Rex Devious -- Dr. Devious to meddlesome do-gooders everywhere -- can go toe-to-toe with superheroes without blinking an eye. So picking out a Christmas present for his new boyfriend should be no problem. After all, he and Sanjay seem perfect for each other. But with a terrible track record for finding gifts that won’t scare his potential partners away, Rex is paralyzed with insecurity.Until, of course, he decides to change tactics. Instead of having to pick out that perfect present, why not just destroy Christmas altogether? It’s perfect, and definitely the Devious thing to do! But with his nemeses -- and perhaps his conscience -- trying to stop him from ruining the beloved holiday, can he really become the supervillain who stole Christmas?

How the Trolls Got Their Hair

by Lisbeth Ceaser

Before the trolls had hair, they were nearly invisible. They were very cute, but they were not particularly interesting. Then a couple of young trolls set out on a quest to cover their heads. Thanks to some very smart teachers and very wise parents, the trolls made a surprising discovery. They put their heads together and showed all their friends how to be the happy-go-lucky, colorfully-haired trolls we know today.What did the wise parents and smart teachers know? The step-by-step guide to reading together at the end of the story will tell everyone how to share the secret of the troll&’s discovery. You may never see a bald troll, but the steps of the story of how they got their colorful hair will lead to many surprising discoveries of your own. Children, teachers, parents, and readers of all ages will enjoy sharing both the story of the trolls and the important message that the best stories are those we share with others.

How the White Trash Zombie Got Her Groove Back (White Trash Zombie #4)

by Diana Rowland

Our favorite zombie Angel Crawford has come a long way from her days as a pain-pill-addicted high school dropout with a felony record. After a year highlighted by murder, kidnapping, and the loss of her home, all she wants to do is kick back, relax, and maybe even think about college.But when key members of the "Zombie Mafia" go missing, she has no choice but to get involved. Angel is certain Saberton Corporation is behind the disappearances, yet she can't shake the sense that a far deeper conspiracy is at work. With the small band of friends she can trust, Angel strikes out to track down the missing zombies.But when unexpected danger threatens to destroy her, all the brains and bravado in the world may not be enough to keep her from going to pieces.e bit of terrorism, and Angel's up to her undead ears in the kind of trouble she excels at. But when unexpected danger threatens to destroy her, all the brains and bravado in the world may not be enough to keep her from going to pieces. Saberton forces. With her white trash attitude as her best weapon, Angel rescues the men, exposes the traitor, and finds out what she's truly capable of.

How the Witch Stole Christmas (Witchless In Seattle Mysteries Ser. #5)

by Dakota Cassidy

The game is afoot in Ebenezer Falls, Washington, and this time someone is trying to ruin Christmas!With twists, turns, and suspects aplenty, amateur sleuth Stevie Cartwright is determined to find a murderer and her missing familiar before the silver bells tarnish! USA Today bestselling cozy mystery author Dakota Cassidy serves up mayhem and murder in How the Witch Stole Christmas, Book 5 of her bestselling series, Witchless in Seattle MysteriesIt's beginning to look a lot like Christmas--!Er, not so much. . .It's Christmas, and I, ex-witch, Stevie Cartwright declare this my favorite time of year! I love the decorations! The food! The Hallmark Channel holiday specials! This year promises to be better than ever because for the first time in a very long time, I'm going to have more than just Cheez Whiz, Triscuits and the wish to be surrounded by family and friends. My carefully planned holiday bonanza includes all the usual suspects. My bat familiar Belfry, my dog Whiskey, my ever-present ghostly spy friends--dashing Brit Winterbottom, stalwart Russian Arkady and my parents. However, nothing comes easy for this amateur sleuth, not even a neighborhood decorating contest. You know, the one I've been painstakingly prepping for months? Something goes horribly awry with my Christmas display (think bikini-clad carolers, pink flamingos and real, live turkeys) to start. But the worst? The dead body of the famous Chef Pascal Le June in my nativity scene! It becomes clear someone's trying to ruin my Christmas, and that someone must pay! But when Belfry goes missing, and the danger takes on a paranormal edge, I find I have more to lose than ever before. . .This cozy mystery has a complete cast of oddball characters from witches to ghosts and bats to psychics. Witchless In Seattle Mysteries is a spin-off of Dakota Cassidy's bestselling paranormal romance series, A Paris, Texas Romance.

How the World Was One

by Sir Arthur C. Clarke

Arthur C. Clarke has been one of the most influential commentators on - and prophets of - the communications technology which has created the global village. Now, drawing partly on his own sometimes very personal writings, he provides an absorbing history and survey of modern communications.The story begins with the titanic struggles to lay transatlantic telegraph cables in the nineteenth century. Fighting against widespread scepticism, lack of funds, technical disasters and setbacks - and against the Atlantic itself, above and below the surface - the pioneers achieved the seemingly impossible and by 1858 Britain and America were linked by Telegraph.Nearly a century later, as the first transatlantic telephone cable was being laid, the technology that would rival and perhaps even supersede it was undergoing its painful birth as scientists developed the communications satellite precisely as Clarke first described in his famous 1945 article Wireless World, 'Extra-terrestrial Relays', reprinted in this book.The rivalry between cable and satellite continued through the decades. Communication satellites (Comsats) performed even beyond the most optimistic expectations, but cable fought back with the development of the transistor. Then, in one of the most dramatic and unexpected breakthroughs in any technology, the potential of cable systems was transformed. The development of fibre optics technology meant that once more the seabeds of the world began to be draped with the newest and most sophisticated artefacts of human engineering.It is an enthralling story, filled with extraordinary events and people, and Arthur C. Clarke brings all his storytelling flair and scientific expertise to bear on it. The result is a superb combination of history, comment and challenging speculation.

How to Be a Superhero (Little Golden Book)

by Sue Fliess Nikki Dyson

KA-POW! Here's a mighty new Little Golden Book about a boy superhero! A boy asks Captain Mighty what it takes to become a hero. There's a costume to choose and a power to develop. But most of all, it takes smarts and heart! It's not long before the boy defeats the local villain, Turbo Troll, and earns his new name: the Silver Cyclone! This rollicking read-aloud will be a hit with kids and grown-ups alike!

How to Be a Superhero: Read & Listen Edition (Little Golden Book)

by Sue Fliess

KA-POW! Here&’s a mighty new Little Golden Book about a boy superhero! A boy asks Captain Mighty what it takes to become a hero. There&’s a costume to choose and a power to develop. But most of all, it takes smarts and heart! It&’s not long before the boy defeats the local villain, Turbo Troll, and earns his new name: the Silver Cyclone! This rollicking read-aloud will be a hit with kids and grown-ups alike!This Read & Listen edition contains audio narration.

How to Be a Supervillain: Born to Be Good (How to Be a Supervillain #2)

by Michael Fry

A sequel has never been this good...at being bad! In this highly anticipated follow-up to the bestselling How to Be a Supervillain, Victor Spoil must save the world from an evil scheme to enslave the superheroes and villains--to his parents' utter disappointment.Victor Spoil hates the Junior Super Academy. It makes him cranky--and his parents couldn't be prouder, because supervillains aren't meant to be nice. Until Victor confesses he wants to leave and become a librarian. The horror!But when superheroes and villains--including his parents--start disappearing, only a dedicated do-gooder like Victor can track them down. He discovers that the supers are being captured to square off against aliens in gladiator-like shows. And unlike the scripted fights that the supers usually sign up for, these battles are to the death!Victor and his fellow super students must join together and harness their super powers to battle this dastardly mega-villain. But to be a hero, Victor finally has to embrace his inner villain. Will he be able to stoop that low?

How to Be a Supervillain (How to Be a Supervillain #1)

by James Patterson Michael Fry

Victor Spoil comes from a long line of famous supervillains and he's fully expected to join their ranks one day. But to his family's utter disappointment, Victor doesn't have a single bad-guy bone in his body. He won't run with scissors, he always finishes his peas, and he can't stand to be messy. Hopeless!As a last-ditch effort before they give up and let him be a--gasp!--civilian, Victor's exasperated parents send him to apprentice under a disgraced supervillain called The Smear. This matchup starts off as a complete disaster, but Victor and The Smear eventually find that they have a lot to learn from each other. When the stakes get high as Victor is forced to choose between his mentor and his family morals (or lack thereof)...what will the world's nicest bad guy do?In this rollicking middle-grade adventure, Michael Fry's witty text and hysterical artwork combines superhero action with classic fish-out-of-water humor.

How to Be a Supervillain: Bad Guys Finish First (How to Be a Supervillain #3)

by Michael Fry

Victor Spoil realizes he's not cut out for life as a supervillain and instead decides to be...a librarian. Little does he know that librarians are a kick-butt secret society who will stop at nothing to control---and shush---the world! It's time for Victor Spoil to hang up his cape. After trying to be the supervillain his diabolical parents always wanted, it's time he followed his own dream to become a librarian. As a nice guy who likes quiet and order, Victor knows he'll be happy reading books for the rest of his life.But when his library is suddenly attacked by robot ninjas and he sees his boss leap into battle, Victor learns that librarians are actually a secret league working to bring order to the whole world. It all sounds wonderful to Victor...until he finds out that his friends are planning to destroy the librarians' plan for peace. Who's right and who's wrong? Sometimes it's hard to tell if you're a good guy...or a supervillain.

How to be a Viking

by Cressida Cowell

The first HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON book ever, and the inspiration for Cressida Cowell's best-selling fiction books that is now a Dreamworks feature film.So begins Cressida Cowell's stories about a little Viking who cannot fit in. Unlike his dad, Stoick the Vast, Hiccup is tiny, thoughtful and polite and scared of almost everything - especially of going to sea for the very first time. But go he must... So who will save the day when everything goes wrong aboard ship and all the big Vikings lose their cool? This wonderfully witty fable will delight all those who have ever faced up to their worst fears. This 2014 reissue includes a letter from Cressida Cowell to the reader. 'This is a lovely book; it is warm and witty, with instant appeal...' - The Children's Bookseller

How to be Death

by Amber Benson

All Calliope Reaper-Jones ever wanted out of life was a fabulous job in New York City and a really hot boyfriend. But now, she's the brand-new President of Death, Inc. With the Board of Death breathing down her neck and her dad's copy of How to be Death (A Fully Annotated Guide) unopened, Callie's really feeling the tension. And when the guide book is stolen at a fancy formal dinner, Callie has to figure out how to be the boss--before the powers held within the book get out and destroy humanity forever...

How to Be Friends with a Dragon

by Valeri Gorbachev

Wouldn't it be fun to have a dragon for a friend? But that's not going to happen if you don't know the rules. Simon's big sister, Emma, knows them all: DON'T poke a dragon when he's taking a nap; he might sneeze fire. DON'T be surprised if the dragon fries some eggs with his breath. DO be sure to wear a seat belt should you ever ride on his back . . . Simon is determined to master every last rule, because then maybe, just maybe, he'll get the chance to embark on what is sure to be the adventure of a lifetime.

How to be Happy: The unmissable, uplifting Kindle bestseller

by Eva Woods

'So likeable, smart and wise. A bittersweet read about love, life and friendship that makes you stop and think long after you've finished reading the last page.' - bestselling author Tasmina Perry 'Entertaining, funny and full of wisdom, I loved this book.' - bestselling author Katie Fforde 'I read this recently and loved it SO much. I cried buckets, but it's ultimately a really positive, uplifting book about making every day count.' - bestselling author Clare Mackintosh ---------------------------------- The smallest things can make the biggest difference. Annie has been sad for so long that she's forgotten how to be any other way. Until she meets Polly. Polly is everything that Annie is not. She's colourful, joyful, happy. Because if recent events have taught Polly anything, it's that your time is too short to waste a single day. Polly has one hundred days to help Annie find happiness. Annie's convinced it's impossible, but so is saying no to Polly. And on an unforgettable journey, Annie begins to realise that maybe, just maybe, there's still colour to be found in the world. But then it becomes clear that Polly's about to need her new friend more than ever...and Annie will have to decide once and for all whether letting others in is a risk worth taking. If you liked Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine or The Keeper of Lost Things, you'll love How to Be Happy ********************** 'A joyful, wise read' - Rosie Blake 'It's a gorgeous book - funny, touching, sweet, sad and profound.' - Daisy Buchanan 'You'll laugh and cry . . . heartwarming' - Best 'Uplifting' - Independent 'Will make you laugh while it tugs at your heart strings' - The People

How to be Happy: The unmissable, uplifting Kindle bestseller

by Eva Woods

'So likeable, smart and wise. A bittersweet read about love, life and friendship that makes you stop and think long after you've finished reading the last page.' - bestselling author Tasmina Perry 'Entertaining, funny and full of wisdom, I loved this book.' - bestselling author Katie Fforde 'I read this recently and loved it SO much. I cried buckets, but it's ultimately a really positive, uplifting book about making every day count.' - bestselling author Clare Mackintosh ---------------------------------- The smallest things can make the biggest difference. Annie has been sad for so long that she's forgotten how to be any other way. Until she meets Polly. Polly is everything that Annie is not. She's colourful, joyful, happy. Because if recent events have taught Polly anything, it's that your time is too short to waste a single day. Polly has one hundred days to help Annie find happiness. Annie's convinced it's impossible, but so is saying no to Polly. And on an unforgettable journey, Annie begins to realise that maybe, just maybe, there's still colour to be found in the world. But then it becomes clear that Polly's about to need her new friend more than ever...and Annie will have to decide once and for all whether letting others in is a risk worth taking. If you liked Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine or The Keeper of Lost Things, you'll love How to Be Happy ********************** 'A joyful, wise read' - Rosie Blake 'It's a gorgeous book - funny, touching, sweet, sad and profound.' - Daisy Buchanan 'You'll laugh and cry . . . heartwarming' - Best 'Uplifting' - Independent 'Will make you laugh while it tugs at your heart strings' - The People

How to Be Human

by Paula Cocozza

From Guardian writer Paula Cocozza, a debut novel of the breakdown of a marriage, suburbian claustrophobia, and a woman's unseemly passion for a fox You've seen a fox. Come face to face in an unexpected place, or at an unexpected moment. And he has looked at you, as you have looked at him. As if he has something to tell you, or you have something to tell him. But what if it didn't stop there? When Mary arrives home from work one day to find a magnificent fox on her lawn—his ears spiked in attention and every hair bristling with his power to surprise—it is only the beginning. He brings gifts (at least, Mary imagines they are gifts), and gradually makes himself at home. And as he listens to Mary, Mary listens back. She begins to hear herself for the first time in years. Her bullish ex-boyfriend, still lurking on the fringes of her life, would be appalled. So would the neighbours with a new baby. They only like wildlife that fits with the decor, and they are determined to defend the boundary between the domestic and the wild. But inside Mary a wildness is growing that will not be tamed. In this extraordinary debut, the lines between sanity and safety, obsession and delusion blur, in a thrilling exploration of what makes us human.

How to be Nowhere

by Tim MacGabhann

Life is finally on the right track for reporter and recovering addict Andrew: he is slowly coming to terms with the murder of his photographer boyfriend Carlos, pursuing sobriety and building a new home with a new partner. Andrew has almost forgotten about the story that ruined his life - but that story hasn't forgotten about him, and a series of deadly threats forces him into helping the very man whose gang murdered his boyfriend and left him homeless.A literary take on the classic chase movie, HOW TO BE NOWHERE is the sequel to Tim MacGabhann's genre-busting and critically-acclaimed debut CALL HIM MINE, and a blistering thrill-ride deep into the fog of Central America's murky present and tragic future.

How to be Nowhere

by Tim MacGabhann

Life is finally on the right track for reporter and recovering addict Andrew: he is slowly coming to terms with the murder of his photographer boyfriend Carlos, pursuing sobriety and building a new home with a new partner. Andrew has almost forgotten about the story that ruined his life - but that story hasn't forgotten about him, and a series of deadly threats forces him into helping the very man whose gang murdered his boyfriend and left him homeless.A literary take on the classic chase movie, HOW TO BE NOWHERE is the sequel to Tim MacGabhann's genre-busting and critically-acclaimed debut CALL HIM MINE, and a blistering thrill-ride deep into the fog of Central America's murky present and tragic future.

How to Be Remembered: A Novel

by Michael Thompson

"Original, engrossing, sweet." — Graeme Simsion, NYT bestselling author of The Rosie ProjectYou will be grinning through your tears while reading this charming, magical, life-affirming tale that captures both the pain and beauty of a life well-lived. "Sure to be a new favorite for readers who enjoyed V. E. Schwab's The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue. . .a stunning tale" (Booklist, STARRED review) that follows a man who can never be remembered and his journey to become unforgettable...On an ordinary night in an ordinary year, Tommy Llewellyn's doting parents wake in a home without toys and diapers, without photos of their baby scattered about, and without any idea that the small child asleep in his crib is theirs.That's because Tommy is a boy destined to never be remembered.On the same day every year, everyone around him forgets he exists, and he grows up enduring his own universal Reset. That is until something extraordinary happens: Tommy Llewellyn falls in love.Determined to finally carve out a life for himself and land the girl of his dreams, Tommy sets out on a mission to finally trick the Reset and be remembered. But legacies aren't so easily won, and Tommy must figure out what's more important—the things we leave behind or the people we bring along with us.With the speculative edge of How to Stop Time, the unending charm of Maria Semple, and the heart of your favorite book club read, How to Be Remembered is a life-affirming novel about discovering how to leave your mark on the places and people you love most.

How to Become Popular Without Losing Your Mind: Genny In a Bottle #1

by Kristen Kemp

Nadia is new in town and totally unpopular with everybody including the boy of her dreams. It should be a simple problem for Genny to solve but what happens when the boy of Nadia's dreams is also the boy of Genny's dreams?

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying

by Django Wexler

A hilarious fantasy adventure in which a young woman, who is stuck in a time loop, decides the best way to defend the kingdom from the Dark Lord is to become the Dark Lord herself. Davi has done this all before. She's tried to be the hero and take down the all-powerful Dark Lord. A hundred times she's rallied humanity and made the final charge. But the time loop always gets her in the end. Sometimes she's killed quickly. Sometimes it takes a while. But she's been defeated every time.This time? She's done being the hero and done being stuck in this endless time loop. If the Dark Lord always wins, then maybe that's who she needs to be. It's Davi's turn to play on the winning side.'A darkly comic delight of a novel' Anthony Ryan'Twisty, pacey and full of reverent irreverence for fantasy. I can't get enough' Max Gladstone'A brash swords-and-satire romp that draws you into its rollicking adventure even as it pokes fun at the whole genre. Gamers in particular will appreciate the irreverent upending of classic roleplaying tropes' James L. SutterTakes the old saying 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em,' to the next level. A sarcastic, action-packed, intrigue-filled (mis)adventure. One of the funniest books I've read in a long time' Matt Dinniman'Lord of the Rings crossed with Groundhog Day, narrated by a gender-flipped Deadpool' Mike Brooks

How to Become the Dark Lord and Die Trying (Dark Lord Davi #1)

by Django Wexler

Groundhog Day meets Deadpool in Django Wexler&’s no-holds-barred, laugh-out-loud fantasy tale about a young woman who, tired of defending humanity from the Dark Lord, decides to become the Dark Lord herself."Takes the old saying 'If you can't beat 'em, join 'em,' to the next level. A sarcastic, action-packed, intrigue-filled (mis)adventure. One of the funniest books I've read in a long time."--Matt Dinniman, author of Dungeon Crawler Carl Davi has done this all before. She&’s tried to be the hero and take down the all-powerful Dark Lord. A hundred times she&’s rallied humanity and made the final charge. But the time loop always gets her in the end. Sometimes she&’s killed quickly. Sometimes it takes a while. But she&’s been defeated every time. This time? She&’s done being the hero and done being stuck in this endless time loop. If the Dark Lord always wins, then maybe that&’s who she needs to be. It&’s Davi&’s turn to play on the winning side.Burningblade & SilvereyeAshes of the Sun Blood of the Chosen Emperor of Ruin

How To Carry Bigfoot Home: Stories

by Chris Tarry

The Juno Award–winning musician and Pushcart-nominated author offers thirteen &“otherworldly tales that speak to deeper human truths&” (Time Out New York). The thirteen stories in Chris Tarry&’s richly imagined debut, How To Carry Bigfoot Home, lay bare the insurmountable forces that determine who we are and who we become. From an out-of-work dragon-slaying father in &“Here Be Dragons&” to a family arguing aboard a rocket ship in &“Topics in Advanced Rocketry,&” the stories use fantastic settings, blazing wit, and imaginative circumstances to explore very human truths. The stories work to reconcile the public self with the private heart. To contemplate the monsters we carry home and lay bare for the ones we love the most.&“These stories hilariously and poignantly evoke the way, when it comes to relationships, all men are living under a leaky thatched roof with winter on the way, always believing they&’re on the edge of a turnaround, even though failure keeps returning like an old friend back in town.&” —Jim Shepard, Story Prize–winning author of The World to Come&“The stories in How To Carry Bigfoot Home are fruitfully obsessed with maleness . . . In their gleeful linguistic play and surrealistic vibe, Tarry&’s tales remind me of those of George Saunders, but he&’s up to his very own wonderful thing in this vivid debut.&” —Pamela Erens, author of The Virgins and The Understory &“What would happen if some mad scientist were able to fuse the otherworldly exuberance of H.P. Lovecraft with the nuanced pathos of John Cheever? . . . A writer named Chris Tarry.&” —Stefan Merrill Block, author of The Story of Forgetting and The Storm at the Door

How to Catch a Bogle (How to Catch a Bogle #1)

by Catherine Jinks

Many orphans in Victorian England must resort to begging—but Birdie is busy catching monsters… If ever a chill entered her soul, or the hope suddenly drained from her heart, she knew a bogle was to blame… Birdie McAdam, a ten-year-old orphan, is tougher than she looks. She's proud of her job as apprentice to Alfred the Bogler, a man who catches monsters for a living. Birdie lures the bogles out of their lairs with her sweet songs—and Alfred kills them before they kill her. On the mean streets of Victorian England, hunting bogles is actually less dangerous work than mudlarking for scraps along the vile river Thames. Or so it seems, until the orphans of London start to disappear… This historical fantasy for young readers features an &“action-packed story and likable characters&” along with a heroine to cheer for (School Library Journal). &“Pitch-perfect.&”—Booklist (starred review)

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